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Editorial - Nyanya Victim or Nigerian Survivor which one are you ? A Letter to You by By Abiel John Balogun

9jabook: In these Days of Security Conciousness and the ever present Corruption and its effects on the people., Making some victims & Others "Survivors".

Some Survive by Starting their own Business and ignore the Corruption, The Government .  Others become Corrupt and add to the Victimization, whilst others Who know the root problem is Corruption and the Evils that Come with it Survive by Fighting Corruption .

FYI in my opinion . Corruption is not just stealing Public Funds . It is Stealing Public Happiness .

But Let us delve in to this Article we Re -Adapted from from various articles on the Web Teaching us What Victims & Survivors Really are .

Likely, we’ve all heard “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” some people who survived the recent Nyanya Attack lost limbs or got burnt horribly .. Yes They survived but they will live as victims of their injuries for the rest of thier Lives dependent on how extensive they are . Some got Blind Some wont be able to hear again etc

 ... or maybe “God never gives you more than you can handle”. I have to tell you there have been times in my life when I really doubted the truthfulness of those statements. It is true that I have survived everything life has thrown at me – and I believe those are some of the things that made us a strong Man or  an independent woman. "All things work together for those that Love God .. " Yes The Bible does say that but let us ask a question God does not go around blowing people up so they can handle it .. That is the Terrorist Mentality ..

The survivor mentality and the victim mentality – these are two very different attitudes. Let’s start by defining the differences

The Survivor: The smart, mentally strong individual who takes the bull by the horns. This person may not be strong physically; physicality seems to have less to do with survival than people think. It is the person who can keep his emotions in check, assess the situation, think outside the box, and take a lead in making their current state better than it was just a few minutes ago. This person’s forte is solutions. Like we said Survivors come in 2 forms positive and negative .. but as some say Does the End justify the means ? or the means justify the end ?

or is it a matter of " the end justifies the means if the means justify the end ! " OR 

The means justify the end if the end justifies the means " 

Do the English Equation in your own life experiences and answer that question .

The Victim: This person blames everyone but themselves for their situation in life, they have either had a bad upbringing, been a victim of the system, and they are always looking to “others” as a solution to their current state. This person could conceivable bench press 400lbs, but it makes no difference because their state of mind will lead to their downfall. This person’s power  is making excuses and complaining "No one will help me  when he that is One is unwilling to help himself ! ".

They say the World is indeed a Stage but That Stage acts many plays . Stop acting one play . I am the Victim I am the Victim ! 

Here are some specific examples for the survivor and the victim – which describes you ?

The Survivor Thinks –

Look at the things and people I have in my life
How can I become and do more
Looks at the positive things in life
Finds ways to make things happen
Acknowledges responsibility for the good and the bad in life
Takes guidance and constructive criticism
Creates goals for him/herself and works hard to reach them
Learns from mistakes and strives not to make the same mistakes
Forgives people who harm them in some way
Imagine a long distance runner, patiently working toward goals and the finish line

The Victim Thinks –

Look at all the things I don’t have, there are many more things I want so why should i become a survivor ? 
Waits for things to happen and wonders why others are having success instead of them
Wonder why can’t I have and do more ? Because you are a victim ! 
Finds excuses for why they can’t do things . Well we cant fight the Government ! Gandhi & Martin Luther did not and see what they achieved .

Blames others for their problems and ignores their own culpability . Yes it is the Politicians but we voted them in ! 
Feels and says they know everything . Facebook & Twitter has not heard your wise talk 

Creates obstacles for him/herself which hold them back from success and happiness
Fail to learn from their mistakes and makes the same mistakes over and over while thinking they should get better results
Holds a grudge even at times when there is no plausible reason for a grudge . Religion Card keeps getting played daily .. Boko Haram & co kill Nigerians they dont care if you are Christian or Muslim .

Do me a favor and think about those comments. I want to ask some tough questions and I ask you to really think about your answers.

Which of these comments describe your attitude ?

If you have a victim mentality – do you expect someone else to do something for you ?
If you have a victim mentality – what positive things do you bring to a relationship with those who are victimising you ?
If you had help to understand how to set goals and how to reach them, would that help you ?
If you had help to understand yourself better and to work toward a loving relationship with yourself, don’t you think it would be more likely that you could be a loving caring and productive Citizen  ?

Instead of allowing a bunch of Moronic Killers Blow you up every few weeks and every one tells you you are the Victim of an unnecessary distraction ! 

Thank you for Reading Our Little piece.

To Survive Kindly make some comments . Thanks 

Abiel John Balogun 


ps .

How does a caterpillar transform into a butterfly? It doesn't just happen. There are many steps involved in this transformation, as there are in the journey from victim to survivor.

Going from victim to survivor has to be a conscious choice, because often, as we suffer through "victimhood," we rarely realize we're doing it. We grow so accustomed to the misery of our victim mentality that we forget that we are making the conscious choice to live life this way.

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