Written by Chioma Gabriel
Friday, 19 December 2008
Kenneth is charming and good looking and many ladies desired to marry him. One of his attributes is his ability to make people feel at ease when they are around him. He is jovial and easy to relate with and this made him popular in his neighbourhood.
His friends and relations waited with curiosity for him to choose a wife. He had been seen with all manner of women some of whom were considered wife materials but he did not marry any of them. When he eventually decided to settle down, Kenneth pulled a surprise on the people by showing up with a lady that no one knew. He met her during their service year in the state they were both posted to serve. She was not the kind of lady that people had expected him to be involved with. She was neither tall nor good looking and she had tribal marks!
What surprised people most was the way Kenneth always beamed around her. It was evident that he had found love and not long afterwards, they got married.
Till date, he still treats her like a princess and they now have a beautiful daughter. Theirs was like the story of the beauty and the beast. Many who knew Kenneth wondered why a good looking man like him could get married to such a lady.
Stories like this are common.
The words beauty and ugly have advantages and disadvantages. A beautiful lady is advantaged in the area of looks but there are areas of disadvantages in her life that can destroy the advantages. Ugliness is also a disadvantage in the area of looks but there are advantages that the ugly may possess that can cover up for the disadvantages in her looks. But one should not celebrate others and look down on oneself. We celebrate strength, not weakness.
We all carry an aura around us which can have a fragrant/pungent effect on people. If things go wrong with the state of a single’s mind, it gives the person a pungent aura and that can drive away prospective suitors. The state of your heart is superior to the advantages you may have over others. Show me a lady with a good heart; I will show you a person who will have suitors fight to win her heart and hand in marriage.
I have observed the following states of mind that can make people unattractive…
*Heart filled with anger: Whenever I counsel singles that have challenges keeping a partner, I always look out for anger and most of the time, I find it there. When a heart is filled with anger, that person will not be able to attract/keep a partner. Anger is a subtle destroyer: Meet a single who can’t keep a partner; you’ll likely find a person who is angry with his/her parent(s).
*Heart filled with pride: The English adage that says, ‘Pride comes before a fall. Is a reality .’People who are proud of their good looks tend to be choosy and insolent. Proud people have tendency to make mistakes in relationships. A friend once told me that some ladies who are ripe for marriage don’t get married because of pride. He told a story of how he was in love with a lady many years ago and would have loved to get married to her. The lady, according to him, was beautiful and intelligent (a medical student) but what pissed him off was the way the lady treated him when he approached her. He said the lady practically ignored him and treated him with disdain and when he couldn’t take it any more, he moved on. Today, he’s married to a lady who doesn’t have the looks and the brain of the lady but he is happy because his wife has really been a pillar of strength in the business he’s into. Sadly, the lady he wanted initially is over 30 years and still single.
*Heart filled with unforgiveness: My advice to singles is to always forgive and let go of the man/woman that may have broken their hearts in the past. The person has only given them the opportunity to find someone better. However, unforgiveness will not let the single be attractive to the better person.
*An unwise heart: Meet an unwise lady and you have met one who will not be able to keep whatever she has. If you meet a good looking single, watch out for a wise heart. It is likely to be missing. Lack of wisdom reveals itself in unguarded speech. Observe a lady who can say whatever is on her mind the way it is and you have met a fool going. I heard a lady say that when she is angry, she can say anything (i.e. pour out her heart the way she feels) to anyone. I concluded that was one of the reasons she isn’t married. Who will want to get married to a lady who has no moral restraint when expressing herself.
It also reveals itself in the single not improving on herself. I feel that every single should strive for self improvement especially in the area of academics. A beautiful face with a dull brain is valued little.
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