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COME DOWN TO MY LEVEL

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Ovie the Warri Boy in Lagos

Posted by 9jabook.com webmadam Jul 12, 2011. 0 Replies

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Comment by 9jabook.com on January 6, 2009 at 9:17pm
Who else can do this but a NIGERIAN!
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Today at 10:20am
A family in Nigeria was puzzled when the coffin of their dead mother arrived from the USA , sent by their sister. The tiny corpse was so tightly squeezed inside the coffin that their mother's face was practically touching the glass
cover.

When they opened the coffin, they found a letter from their sister pinned to their mother's chest, which read:

Dearest brothers and sisters,

I am sending you our mother's remains for burial in Lagos . Sorry I couldn't come along as the expenses were so high. You will find inside the coffin, under Mama's body, 12 cans of Libby's corned beef and12 cans of Luncheon Meat. Just divide it amongst yourselves.





On Mama's feet is a brand-new pair of Reeboks (size 8) for Junior. There are four pairs of Reeboks under Mama's head for Tunde's sons. Mama is wearing six Ralph Lauren T-shirts - one is for Dayo, Roy and the rest are for my nephews. Mama is also wearing one dozen Wonder Bras (your favourite), just divide them among yourselves. The 2 dozen Victoria 's Secret panties that Mama is wearing should be distributed among my nieces and cousins.





Mama is also wearing eight Dockers pants - James, please get one for yourself and the rest are for the boys. The Swiss watch you asked for is on Mama's left wrist, please get it.



Aunty Ronke, Mama is wearing what you asked for - earrings, rings and a necklace; please take them. Also, the six pairs of Chanel stockings that Mama is wearing must be divided among the teen-age girls there. I hope they like the colours.

Your loving sister,

Nene

P.S. Please take care of finding a nice dress for Mama for her burial. (YOU MAY GO TO ORILE OR YABA FOR A CHEAP OKRIKA..)



In case you need anything that I may have forgotten, please let me know as UNCLE IS NOT FEELING

TOO WELL
Comment by Choochoo Sports Book on November 28, 2008 at 3:04pm
There was this very rich Ibo man in Nnewi who had only one daughter. When the daughter was of marriage age, the father sent news around town, that all the eligible young men should come out on a particular day to compete in a test which would determine who was fit to marry his daughter.

On that set day, all the able-bodied young men came out. Some came with paper and biro and others with cutlasses and swords.

The rich man took them to his swimming pool and addressed the men: "any of you who can swim from one end of this swimming pool to the other would marry my daughter. In addition, I'll give him 50 million naira, a car and a house so they can start of life well. I shall be waiting to meet my son-in-law at the other side. Goodluck!"

As the young men, all very excited at the prospect of winning, started taking off their shirts, a helicopter came over the pool and dropped snakes and crocodiles into the pool.

Immediately all the men turned back and started wearing their shirts again. Disappointed, some of them said "make de man go marry im pikin joo!".

All of a sudden, they heard a splash in the pool. Everybody watched in amazement as one gentleman struggled his way across, avoiding the snakes and crocodiles. Finally, he made it to the other side as the would-be in-law, panting.

The rich man could not believe it. He asked the man to name anything he wanted. The man was still breathless, panting uncontrollably. Finally, he got himself together and made his request, saying, "...show me the pesin wey push me inside di swimming pool"

Moral of the story: "You don't know what you are capable of doing until you are pushed."
(Indeed, you can do all things through Christ that strenthens you!)
Comment by 9jabook.com webmadam on November 21, 2008 at 8:24pm
Men always have better friends.... They will stand by you,
no matter what....!!! Here's an example Friends of
Women A wife was not at home for a whole night. So she
tells her husband the very next morning, that she stayed at
her girl friend's apartment overnight. So the husband
calls 10 of her best (girl) friends and none of them
confirmed that she was with them. Friends of Men A husband
was not at home for a whole night. So he tells his wife the
very next morning, that he stayed at his friend's
apartment over night. So the wife calls 10 of his best
friends and 5 of them confirmed that he stayed at their
apartments that night and another 5 claimed that he is
still with them!!

A 90-year-old man said to his doctor, "I've never
felt better. I have an 18-year old bride who is pregnant
with my child. What do you think about that?" The
doctor considered his question for a minute and then said,
"I have an elderly friend who is a hunter and never
misses a season. One day when he was going out in a bit of
a hurry, he accidentally picked up his umbrella instead of
his gun. When he got to the Creek, he saw a rabbit sitting
beside the stream. He raised his umbrella and went,
'bang, bang' and the rabbit fell dead. What do you
think of that?" The 90-year-old said, "I'd
say somebody else killed that rabbit." The doctor
replied, "My point exactly."
Health - Important Tips Answer the phone by LEFT ear. Do
not drink coffee TWICE a day. Do not take pills with COOL
water. Do not have HUGE meals after 5pm. Reduce the amount
of OILY food you consume. Drink more WATER in the morning,
less at night. Keep your distance from hand phone CHARGERS.
Do not use headphones/earphone for LONG period of time. Best
sleeping time is from 10pm at night to 6am in the morning.
Do not lie down immediately after taking medicine before
sleeping. When battery is down to the LAST grid/bar, do not
answer the phone as the radiation is 1000 times. Forward
this to those whom you CARE about!
Comment by cozzy webtatafo on November 19, 2008 at 2:24pm
Little emeka's at it again..... A new teacher was trying to make
use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying,
'Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!' After a few
seconds, Little emeka stood up. The teacher said, 'Do you think
you're stupid, Little emeka?' 'No, ma'am, but I hate to see you
standing there all by yourself!'

Little emeka watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold
cream on her face. 'Why do you do that, mommy?' he asked. 'To
make myself beautiful,' said his mother, who then began removing
the cream with a tissue. 'What's the matter?' asked Little
emeka. 'Giving up?'

The math teacher saw that little emeka wasn't paying attention
in class. She called on him and said, 'emeka! What are 2 and 4
and 28 and 44?' Little emeka quickly replied, 'NTA, DBN, MTV
and the Cartoon Network!'
Comment by muyiss20007 on September 10, 2008 at 10:27am
nice group...
Comment by KoldFaya on August 30, 2008 at 7:43am
A stitch in time...….. dey prevent further tear tear.

Birds of the same feather……… na the same mama born dem.

One good turn……… na power steering be that.

A bird in hand…….. na christmas chicken food be that.

He who laughs last…….. na mumu. Why him no catch the joke the first time and laugh when others dey laugh?

The patient dog…….. Na hunger go kill am
 

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