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Characteristics of a 'True Lagosian

A true Lagosian does not waste his/her money on 'luxuries' such as

vacuum cleaners, microwave ovens, washing machines, and dishwashers.

This is because it is more economical to spend hours every day manually

warming food on a stove, sweeping floors with a bent back, and washing.

Extra money should be spent on necessities like highly advanced camera

phones, which will only be used for making voice calls!

A true Lagosian never makes appointments on time. It is ok to be late

for 30 minutes to one hour. If you're a big man or big woman, then you

can delay an appointment by up to 4 hours withouit an apology. If your

host gets angry or decides to cancel your meeting due to your lateness,

it simply shows that he/she needs to learn patience and respect.

A true Lagosian believes that thieving leaders should be prosecuted

executed, because the punishment should fit the crime. That is why

petty thieves in Lagos are usually lynched when they are caught. A

true Nigerian knows that stealing and killing are basically the same

thing - afterall, most of us have never stolen in our lives.

A true Lagosian believes that we are morally superior to the people who

live in developed countries. This is why we are not the second most

corrupt nation in the world, and there is no crime in Nigeria.

A true Lagosian doesn't know how much time is taken by common tasks

like housekeeping, cooking a particular meal, or making a frequent

trip. When you ask, "how long will it take?" the answer is "a short

while. just wait for me". Ask, "will it take up to 30 minutes?" and

the answer is "just wait". That is why we don't need timers in

Nigeria. We are a patient people!

Eko o ni baje

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