(Why people get married to later find out they are in trouble.)The Family of Mr. and Mrs. Johnson is a known family in their street; they are known for fighting and trouble such that their neighbors can categorically affirm that they is no week gone by since they moved in without them going to settle some form of dispute for them. Joanne (Mrs. Johnson) now advise singles not to ignore the signs that appear little that the person they are dating may be revealing because it shows who the person really is.When she was single, Michael (Mr. Johnson) showers her with love and so much attention; but she noticed that he was always mean and selfish to people around him. His parents complain to her of how he wasn’t caring for them and his siblings who are in the university despite the fact that he works in one of the leading oil company in the nation. They had implored her to speak to him on the issue; whenever she raises it, he always has one logical excuse or the other to give for his action and in the end she felt his parents were not been appreciative of all he was doing for them.She felt in heart an uncomfortable feeling about the way she sees her fiancé treat people; but since he wasn’t do the same to her she calmed her conscience with the word he loves me. Love is what he keeps showing her with until they got married; the same guy that was always meeting her needs began complaining about how she spends money and the need to economize despite the fact he is given the list of the items the home needs and the price. Sometimes Michael will do the shopping for the family himself leaving the impression that she was managing the money given to her properly. She also came to the rude discovery that he was treating her in the same mean way that she saw him treat others while she was single; he screamed at her at will and at the slightest provocation, he hits her. Joanne’s heart cry today is that she wished she didn’t close her eyes to the obvious facts that she saw in Michael, she now live in regret for allowing her emotion blind her to the facts that were clearly visible before marriage.Stories like this are common one; check out divorce columns in daily newspapers, you will find that over 70% of those opting out of their marriage saw that things weren’t right when they were singles but assumed that their partners will change. So one of the lamentable statement that I have read in this column is, I thought he will change after marriage. The reality is that marriage don’t change people, it amplifies who they are.I have been privilege to counsel married people who lament about their partners and want to opt out of their marriage; I can visibly feel the pain some of them are going through. However, the counsel that I have always given them is that them must stay in their marriage and make it work.My question to every single that will read this article is, the love you have for the person you are dating, is it a blind one/realistic one? Someone said that ‘Love is blind, but marriage is an eye opener,’ the worst time to have your eyes open is after marriage. Permit me to question your love; can you walk out of the relationship now if you find out that your partner is two timing? Can you see the character flaws of your partner? Can you walk out of the relationship if he hits you? Can you walk of the relationship if deep inside of you; you feel that all isn’t well? Some of the singles reading this article have been beaten by their partner, some have caught their partners two timing, and some know that the best thing to do is to leave the relationship. However, they still hang on because they love their partner.This type of love is what has put many in trouble in the later part of their lives; this cycle of even will not stop because many of the emotion people call love, blind their minds from the obvious danger signs around. I don’t believe that it’s every body that you have feelings for that is you should get married to; the reason is because feelings can’t sustain a marriage. When challenges come, it’s the strength of ones character that will determine how far the marriage will go.The English adage that says ‘look before you leap’ is one that singles should not only observe before going into marriage; but it should also be taken as a maxim of life.Femi Fasanya is a prolific writer and speaker who have given talks on relationship issues in seminars and campuses in Nigeria; he’s one of the interviewers in the programme, The Lord reigns in time inspirational cable television. He is married and bless with two children.Femi Fasanyarelationshipmatters@gmail.com+2348037257479, +2348083906405
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