Characteristics of a 'True Lagosian

A true Lagosian does not waste his/her money on 'luxuries' such asvacuum cleaners, microwave ovens, washing machines, and dishwashers.This is because it is more economical to spend hours every day manuallywarming food on a stove, sweeping floors with a bent back, and washing.Extra money should be spent on necessities like highly advanced cameraphones, which will only be used for making voice calls!A true Lagosian never makes appointments on time. It is ok to be latefor 30 minutes to one hour. If you're a big man or big woman, then youcan delay an appointment by up to 4 hours withouit an apology. If yourhost gets angry or decides to cancel your meeting due to your lateness,it simply shows that he/she needs to learn patience and respect.A true Lagosian believes that thieving leaders should be prosecutedexecuted, because the punishment should fit the crime. That is whypetty thieves in Lagos are usually lynched when they are caught. Atrue Nigerian knows that stealing and killing are basically the samething - afterall, most of us have never stolen in our lives.A true Lagosian believes that we are morally superior to the people wholive in developed countries. This is why we are not the second mostcorrupt nation in the world, and there is no crime in Nigeria.A true Lagosian doesn't know how much time is taken by common taskslike housekeeping, cooking a particular meal, or making a frequenttrip. When you ask, "how long will it take?" the answer is "a shortwhile. just wait for me". Ask, "will it take up to 30 minutes?" andthe answer is "just wait". That is why we don't need timers inNigeria. We are a patient people!Eko o ni baje
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