Husbands And Wives - “Husbands, Likewise, dwell with understanding, giving honour to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered, “(1Peter 3:7)”. Nevertheless, let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself and let the wife see that she respects her husband” (Ephesians 5:33)If you look at our culture closely, you will discover that the main reasons for this high rate of divorce are not adultery or incompatibility, but selfishness and a lack of respect.Mutual respect between husband and wife is a must. Unless we respect each other, we cannot have the marriage God has in mind for us or love each other the way we should. According to Peter, disrespect for our spouse will hinder our prayers and drive a wedge between us. Husbands and Wives must learn to accept each other as they are, encourage each other to use the gifts God has given them, and build each other up. To do so requires respect.Ask yourself these questions:-Do I live in such a way as to earn respect?Am I showing respect to my spouse by my words and actions?And if you are dating, if not, that’s a big problem and you may need to look elsewhere.“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her (Ephesians 5:25, Read also 1Conrithians 13:1-7) In Ephesians 5 Paul tells husbands to love their wives “as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her” and to love their wives as they love themselves. When they do that, their marriages show it.Some men as a matter of fact need to spend less time with self and more time showing attention and care to their wives.“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the Church and he is the Saviour of the body. Therefore, just as the Church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the Church and gave Himself for her that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word. That He might present her to Himself a glorious church not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemishSo husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies, for he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own fresh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does to the Church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones.For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the Church. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband “(Ephesians 5:15-33).The terms “submit” and being submissive” are fighting words to some. Yet terminology that sometimes makes us uncomfortable is part of the Bible’s message. A window of understanding opens when we recognize that the idea of submission has often been misunderstood by both husbands and wives. Some husbands have interpreted it to mean that the wife is to wait on him hand and foot, and some wives have thought that it means to be inferior.But such thinking is of-track. Submission does not mean a wife becomes her husband’s servant. Instead, submission is based on Christ’s giving of Himself for the Church. In Christ, husbands and wives give up themselves willingly out of love for one another. In such a relationship of mutual service, yielding is not a BURDEN but a BLESSINGLord, please help us to respect each other and accept each other. Forgive us for not always showing one another the respect you ask of us. Fill us with your love so that we can love others for your sake. Give us wisdom to be patient and kind in all our relationships.Help us understand our roles as husbands and wives in Christ. Fill us with Jesus’ love so that we may serve one another as He served us. AMEN.Marriage, home and family –How do you know who’s right for you?“If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord. He is a double – minded man unstable in all his ways.” (James 1:5-8).Though marriages are pre-arranged in some cultures, most people make their own choice and it is one of the most important choices we can make. Our choice of marriage partner affects our children, our grandchildren, and the surrounding Christian Community.Sometimes the choice is made carelessly. Today’s divorce courts are filled with people who have decided they are incompatible. You hear someone say, “I should never have married him. It was a huge mistake” (what a bitter experience)If you are dating or have already set your wedding date, ask yourself whether you are right for each other.Ask the Lord whether you can build a marriage that is a true blessing to both partners. James says that if we ask for wisdom, God gives it. Listen carefully to your parents and to Christian counselors, and use the kind of pre-marriage counseling that will help you be sure you are making the right choice.In all, we need the Holy Spirit to lead us through. When you and I ask for the Spirit in our lives, we will be able to show the fruit of the Spirit in all our endeavours. (Galatians 5:22-23) . When the spiritual fruit matures, our marriages will become more and more what God intends them to be. Our homes will reflect the kind of relationship God has in mind for us.Ask God today for a personal Pentecost in your life, in your marriage, and in your family. Ask Him each day to fill you with His fullness, and when you do, you too will be able to show the fruit of the spirit – love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.Lord help those who are dating, and thinking about getting married to follow your guidance into marriages that truly bring honour to Christ. Spirit of the living God, fall afresh on us: Melt us, mold us, fill us, use us. In your strength help us to produce fruit that shows we are children of God.“Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamour, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice, And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ Forgave you” (Ephesians 4:29-32)Many of us are much better at talking than at listening. Some of us struggle to listen because we have a habit of speaking too much. We listen impatiently, thinking only of what we want to say next. Some parents also never listen to their children and some children never listen to their parents.Marriages, homes and relationships have been destroyed because someone did not bother to tune their ears to what was said. That is why we need to develop the art of communication as described by James: Be quick to listen, and slow to speak. Ask the Holy Spirit to make you a better listener today.“Marriage is honourable among all and the bed undefiled, but fornicators and adulterers God will judge “(Hebrews 13:4) “Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price, therefore, glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s (I Corinthians 6:18-20)..written byMOSES EVBUOMWAN
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