What are the best approaches to contacting women online? Here I discuss some things to watch out for.
Men, once you have joined one of the leading subscription dating services online you may be wondering what is the best approach to contact women. The first point to understand is that it is perfectly OK to contact several women at the same time. At this stage you are simply trying to make new friends and are still a long way off from concentrating upon one single woman.
However, when you have selected the women you would like to contact from their photo personal ads, it is important not to overstretch yourself and try to contact too many women at once. For example, if you were to send the same e-mail to a number of different women it would be clear to most if not all of them that what you have sent was a generalized e-mail not intended for someone specifically as an individual.
Nothing could be more offputting -- this kind of e-mailing amounts to a sort of spam. In order to contact somebody correctly it is important that you read their profile carefully and pick up on the individual things they say about themselves, such as their hobbies and what interests them. After all, it is their personalities as expressed in their personal ads that has made you want to e-mail them in the first place, isn't it?
A particular woman's photo may have been the very first thing that attracted you, but if you do not like the sound of that woman as a person there is no point in trying to begin any kind of relationship. Also, watch out for the fact that some less than sincere members of dating services may use photos of models to in effect lie about their own appearance.
So, you need to get writing individual e-mails to your chosen female contacts. A good approach is to begin by treating each one as if they were a new colleague at your place of work. So, be friendly but not overfamiliar.
Don't make the initial e-mail too long, and make sure that you show an interest in what the woman you are writing to has expressed as her own hobbies and interests. If these match your own, you could briefly mention your own activities in this context. Most of all, ask some questions to give her a good reason to e-mail you back and continue the conversation.
Avoid trying to "sell" yourself to the other person in your e-mail. You are striking up a new friendship, not undertaking a job interview. Be brief and to the point, friendly and interested in the other person, but not too personal. When you ask questions do not begin to sound as if you are interrogating.
If you haven't had a reply to your initial e-mail after a few days, then try again using a slightly different approach. Before you write this second e-mail go back and re-read your first -- was there anything in it that might have put somebody off? If you don't get a reply to your second e-mail cross this woman off your list and move on to the next.
If she does reply try to respond to her e-mail quickly, as nobody likes to be kept waiting, especially when contacting people for the first time. In your first few e-mails try not to say anything that would embarrass you later if you were to meet her friends. Women sometimes share the early e-mails of a new online relationship with their friends, and this is perfectly normal. But you do not want to be in the position of wishing that you had not said something, later on when you meet those friends.
Finally, as with any online contact who you do not know very well, do not believe everything that you are told and keep in mind the matter of online safety. Never give out your personal details until you know somebody well offline, as well as online.
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