“If she can cook, communicates well,
has ambition and goals, is beautiful to you and has bomb yansh and great in Bed ! just stop there and give that woman a ring!”
I thought about this enthralling statement over a shine shine bobo (Star Beer) on my balcony while overlooking the lush green forest of junk behind my apartment. I glanced down at my dinner and thought well I know many women whose culinary skills are top notch, but can they beat the calabar woman who sells me Amala & banga soup with some bad like wizkid goat meat down the road ? Well they communicate as good as the next when they shake their bom boms in tight jeans, ALL women are beautiful! I am not touching the opio factor Akin my good friend spoke about and he with a ten feet pole which he says is the only weapon he has against his wife wahala and it is his personal bodyguard in times of marriage quarrels/ settlement but you get my drift…hopefully. A handful of women have the basic wife requirements Mr. tu Face Idibia so eloquently outlined in his manual of how not to marry many wives but have plenti childrens .
I pay attention to the couples in my life who are doin’ the damn thing and are yet to be married and I can tell you that the tangible aspects of your being are only one third of what a man would consider wife material as first and foremost you are having premarital sex which as a man i find disgusting since i know you must have been with other men beside me .How many is left to the imagination as you will do it again if we break up.Marriage material naija women don tdo such they do not even think of it especially if they suspect i am sleeping around with oshiomole or yuguda specs .
A naija man's typical wife material is the woman who knows he tries to keep his escapades secret and his eventual willingness to boot the lady if caught to the kerb afterall dis na him pickin mama or baby mama as yankee people dey talk am
The beauty of the unspoken and almost holy wife material requirement is that they are unique to each and every couple. However there are qualities of a wife that go beyond sex and cooking that most of us are never encouraged to develop. Here are a few to consider:
Compassion: Compassion will have you either mess up or take in all the neighborhood stray cats or this quality will have you always see the big picture in any circumstance. Compassion takes you through those times where on the surface and to others your lives together seems doomed but you see beyond that. You see the success; you can still exhibit loving behaviors in time of turbulence. Compassion consistently with all whom you may come in contact with is an important wife material quality often overlooked. for a naija man this is is secret weapon if caught wink wink ...
Integrity: This quality takes on different forms. Integrity is not necessarily arguing to the point of exhaustion because you are firm in your belief. A more docile wife may appear more laid back and submissive, and not someone who has any “strength” however the wife and her husband have an understanding of each other’s values and principles. They are aligned and contained within the household, their bond is secure.
Make sure the chop money is for chop money as wrapper money is sure to come all naija men like their wife material to look Good esp Ibo guyses . "Nna na dem dey chop my money" he says with a deep satisfaction lol !
Consistency: A wife doesn’t change her mind one day and decide that she wants to step away from her duties, unless she is getting a divorce. Consistency is key, human beings are creatures of habit and when we have consistency in our lives this creates security. If a man knows that his needs will be consistently met and of course vice versa than he feels more comfortable and willing to trust his life in the hands of this person. Except say na beating for morning afternoon and evening Naija woman go suffer with you and this is the truest marriage material except she come find out say na you be the ultimate Frank Edoho Millionaire wife beater extraordinaire .
A wife material is consistent when arsenal is losing is consistent with the supply of chicken and meat during a trouncing of Manchester united and will consistently make sure only the family team wins the EPL wheter we are arsenal fans or not .
This conssitency is also important in knowing that once in a month a naija man will dissapear for a night or two and come back with a very plausible reason why he did not call .As a true wife material we expect not to be asked where we went or why we sent a simple text saying we dey kampe but what happened in ynot stays in ynot or wherever the hell we went !
Just a few thoughts, I understand that this list will vary depending on the needs of the individual man, but I think that instead of trying to perfect XYZ we need to reconnect with the heart and soul of our humanity to work on the qualities that make us love hard, strong, and wisely.
Do you feel as if there is any truth to what i am saying?
If you are married, what advice would you give to those wanting to fit this “wife material” mold?
If you are single, what is the best advice you have been given so far about qualifying as ‘wife material” ?
by Akin Osunlaja
