Drama, as Nollywood stars reject Jonathan’s biscuits By AZUH AMATUS 

A mild drama was witnessed recently at an interactive session between President Goodluck Jonathan and members of the entertainment, arts and creative industries.

The well –attended event, which held at the posh Expo Hall, Eko Hotel and Suites, was further amplified by the intimidating presence of several Nollywood stars and their musician counterparts. 

To the consternation of many, mid way into the gathering some people started sharing cartons of customized Goodluck Biscuits, from Deli Foods, with the smiling image of Mr. President boldly emblazoned on it. However, painfully for Jonathan and his team, several of the stars angrily turned down the embarrassing gift from Mr. President. And their reason was simple. Why would Mr. President give them biscuits at a corporate event like school children? 

“That was a very embarrassing gift my brother. Are cartons of biscuits our problem in the industry? We came here to rub minds and interact with Mr. President on how to move the industry forward and they were busy sharing biscuits to us as if we were school children. I and several other stars on our table rejected the biscuits; in fact, we did not bother to touch it where it was kept. We need ideas and supports on how to move the industry forward and not cartons of biscuits. 

They should have told us to come with our children since biscuit’ sharing was their main reason for conveying the meeting, sincerely, I and several of my colleagues felt insulted,” blasted this visibly angry star in Nollywood. 

Another stakeholder who spoke with us on the condition of anonymity maintained that the Goodluck Biscuits gifts, shows how unserious those at the corridors of power sees and treats Nollywood. “Mr. President consulted widely with other stakeholders and professional bodies in the country and didn’t insult them by sharing cartons of biscuits. But when it was our time they started sharing biscuits to us that goes to show how unserious they regard us despite all our efforts at helping to rebrand the nation with our movies. 

On a lighter note, I think they decided to use the so-called N200 million Dollar loan to buy biscuits for us, since in their own thinking we are very hungry, quite appalling.” 
We will definitely keep you darling readers posted as more reactions pour in.

FORMER Governor of Delta State, James Ibori, was yesterday extradited to the United Kingdom (UK) after the London Metropolitan Police reportedly foiled an alleged attempt by the former governor to flee from the United Arab Emirates (UAE) through a series of complex legal steps.

Ibori was re-arrested in his Dubai home and taken to an extradition processing centre from where he was later flown to the UK.

It was learnt from UAE government sources that the former governor was accompanied by officers of the UK Metropolitan Police Proceeds of Crimes Unit.

Ibori will face three separate trials in the UK relating to money laundering and theft. Some of his accomplices, including his wife, Theresa, his sister, Christine Ibie-Ibori and his friend Udoamaka-Okoronkwo (nee Onuigbo), are already spending various prison terms in the UK.

On April 1, his UK lawyer, Bhadresh Gohil, was given a 10-year sentence. The sentence will run concurrently with a previous seven-year conviction.

Jokes  to Tickle the Funny Bone.

                emeka owns a mechanic and repair shop somewhere in Akwaibom.  emeka has a pally named fidelis, and emeka and

fidelis like to get together from time to time and play kashi or cards.  Well, one day they were doing just that, and emeka

was not doing well - he was about N10,000 down.

                fidelis brought up an old argument.

                "I still don't think you know tuface," says fidelis.

                emeka replies, "I tell you say know tuface."

                Now emeka is the type that insists that he knows everyone, and he and fidelis argue back and forth for a

while as to whether or not emeka really knows tuface.  Finally, they agree to settle it once and for all.

                fidelis says "Okay, nna tell ya what.  I'll bet you, double or nothing, that you don't know tuface.

                emeka: "You have a deal."

                So, they run out back and hop on emeka's taxi and take off towards lagos.  As they are getting to lagos at

lekki, emeka points out dbanj's place and several others.  When they finally get to tuface's house, emeka rings the doorbell

and the butler answers.

                "Is 2baba in?" emeka asks.

                "Who may I say is calling" returns the butler.

                "Just tell him emeka is here," replies emeka.

                The Butler turns and closes the door.  In a few minutes, to fidelis's astonishment, tuface himself comes

barreling out the door and wraps himself around emeka.

                "emeka!!  How in the world are you?  How have you been?"

                They spend a good while laughing and catching up on old times, and then they take their leave.

                On the way back , fidelis turns to emeka.  "nna Okay, you win that one.  So you know tuface.  But I bet I can

come up with someone you don't know."

                "Okay, shoot."

                "I'll bet you don't know jim iyke ."

                "Man, jim and I are old buddies!"

                "No way.  Double or nothing you don't know jim iyke."

                "It's a deal.  I'll take you to his restaurant." " he get restaurant  ? i tink say na actor" ? said fidelis

emeka replied "jim likes to cook . "

                So, emeka and fidelis head for jim iyke's celebrity restaurant at ogba .  When they arrive, emeka grabs a

waiter and asks him if jim is in.

                'Who's asking'

                "Just tell him emeka's out here."

                The waiter disappears, but in a few seconds out comes jim, jumping tables and knocking people out of the way.

                "emeka!  HOW HAVE YOU BEEN?"

                They laugh and talk about old times over a free meal.  fidelis is simply dumbfounded.  Later, back in the

car, fidelis asks for one last chance.

                "Look, emeka, I'm about N30,000 in the red.  Give me one last shot, and I will think of someone I am CERTAIN

you cannot know."

                "Okay,pally.  I'm just making lots of money off of you.  One last chance."

                "Okay.  I know there is absolutely no way that you can know goodluck jonathan."

                emeka bursts into laughter.  "Man, ebele and I have known each other for years.  We be old paddy."

             "There is absolutely no way.  You cannot know GJ."

                So, emeka gets  plane tickets  and they head for abuja.  They arrive at asokoro it is election time , and

emeka stops fidelis. "Now, you will have to wait out here.  The security here is very high.  They know me, so they'll let me

in, but you will have to stay out here.  So, will it be good enough for you if GJ and I come walking out on the balcony arm

in arm, smiling and laughing, and we pick you out of the crowd and wave at you?"

                fidelis thinks a minute and replies, "Yeah, that will be great."

                "Okay, stand out here, right in the center of the crowd here , so we can find you."

                emeka enters aso rock, and presently he and the president appear out on the balcony, arms around one another,

smiling and laughing.  They search the crowd, and emeka points to fidelis, and they smile and wave.

                fidelis smiles and waves, but in the next instant he faints dead away.  emeka, alarmed, excuses himself from

the GJ and goes running down to fidelis.  As emeka approaches, he grabs fidelis and begins shaking him.  "fidelis, fidelis,

are you okay?"

                fidelis opens his eyes and says, "I bin dey kampe when you knew tuface.

                And I could even handle it when you knew jim iyke.

                But when I was standing there waving  and the guy standing next to me in the crowd asked
        

        "Who's that guy in the black cap with walking stick standing next to emeka ?', I just couldn't take it anymore!"

We pray by 2015 goodluck jonathan will not be this popular That is if he wins tomorrow  ! 

The gossip on board says Wizkid has dropped out of school in pursuit of his musical career.
Wizkid whose real name is Ayodeji Ibrahim Balogun, is a student of the Leedcity University.
The 200 level student of International Relations stated in a recent interview that he could not continue with his school studies as it gave him less concentration on his musical career. Though he promised to go back to school sometime in the future
He started off his singing career at the early age of 11(Eleven) in church under the name Lil Prinz before rebranding in 2006 from being an inspirational act to secular artiste and ever since then, his being able to carve a niche for himself in the industry.
Now we are beginning to see the real "Badt Guy". Money too large "we drop out of school gonn"

culled from nairaland and amebor website .

confirmation coming soon  ! 

Walter Breuning, the world's oldest man and second-oldest person, has died aged 114.

Breuning died of natural causes in a Montana hospital, said a spokeswoman for the Rainbow retirement home where he lived. Breuning was admitted to hospital at the beginning of April with an undisclosed illness.

Breuning was 26 days younger than Besse Cooper of Georgia, whom the Gerontology Research Group in Los Angeles lists as the world's oldest person.

In an interview last autumn, Breuning attributed his longevity to eating just two meals a day, working as long as he could and always embracing change, especially death.

"We're all going to die. Some people are scared of dying. Never be afraid to die. Because you're born to die," he said.

Breuning was born on 21 September 1896, in Minnesota and spent his early life in South Dakota. His family had no electricity or running water.

He lied about his age and got a job in Minnesota with the Great Northern Railway in 1913 at age 16. He moved to Montana two years later and worked on the railway for 50 years – the rest of his working life. He married his work colleague Agnes Twokey in 1922 and stayed with her until her death in 1957. The couple had no children and Breuning never remarried.

He earned $90 a month – working seven days a week – at the beginning of his career. He said this amount was "a lot of money at that time".

In 1919, he bought his first car, a $150 secondhand Ford, which Breuning remembered spooking the horses when he drove around the streets of Great Falls.

He and his wife bought property for $15 and hoped to build a house, but their plans never came to fruition because of the Great Depression.

"Everybody got laid off in the 30s," Breuning said. "Nobody had any money at all. In 1933, they built the civic centre over here. Sixty-five cents an hour, you know. That was the wage, big wage."

Breuning remained in his job until 1963 – the year the Beatles released their first album – when he decided to retire at the age of 67. But he kept working, becoming the manager and secretary for the local Shriners, a group similar to the Freemasons, a position he held until he was 99.

He moved into the Rainbow retirement community in 1980, calling home a spare studio apartment with bare walls.

Breuning would spent his days in an armchair outside the retirement home director's office in a suit and tie, sitting near a framed Guinness certificate proclaiming him the world's oldest man.

He would eat breakfast and lunch and then retire to his room in the early afternoon. He would visit the doctor twice a year for check-ups and the only medication he would take was aspirin, director Tina Bundtrock said.

With most of his relatives gone, Breuning said his real family was there in the Rainbow. He received letters from admirers from around the world, and he kept up with world events.

"Everybody says your mind is the most important thing about your body. Your mind and your body. You keep both busy, and by God you'll be here a long time," Breuning said.

Gaddafi's daughter whips supporters into a frenzy with speech in Tripoli

Aisha Gaddafi addresses a crowd of her father's supporters at the Bab al-Aziziya compound in Tripoli. Photograph: Pier Paolo Cito/AP

quote: "When things go wrong, don't go wrong with them "

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I treated this topic sometime in 2009, after which I received endless comments and questions on sex and the woman’s body. The sad thing is that a good number of these comments are from the male folk; they are either talking about their girlfriend or their wives.

I believe that men don’t always like to discuss such issues and for a man to be the one worried about these problems, it is either of two things: the woman has refused to do something about it or the man is too timid to say it out.

I remember getting a message from a woman who was in pain and on the verge of losing her relationship due to this very problem. I gave my own solutions to it, but sadly I didn’t get any feedback from her.

From the numerous conferences I have held and from my counselling meetings with women, I have concluded that the major problems our women are faced with are Vaginal Odour and Slacked Vaginal Muscles. I will start with the problem of vaginal muscles.

It is a natural thing for a woman to lose her vaginal muscles at a certain stage of her life. But there are cases where we have young and vibrant women having weak vaginal muscles. This is a very serious issue that calls for concern.

I am not a medical doctor, but from my meetings with people and secret interviews with girls who are faced with this problem, this is caused by some reasons:

Lack of vaginal exercise

Inactive lifestyle

Promiscuity

Like I said last week, a lady who was in a relationship with a former VP of Nigeria confessed to this. She spent her life allowing such a dirty man to have sex with her from the anus. Any man who finds pleasure in veering off the natural path and wants to enjoy himself through a woman’s anus is devilish and dirty.

This lady now lives in pain as even the money she made from this evil man cannot help her out. She has gone through series of surgeries and now her pride is gone and every young man who loves her look and wants to get into something serious with her runs away the moment he sleeps with her.

Talking about inactive lifestyle, I see women destroying their lives simply because the money is there. These ones sit in front of the television watching Africa Magic from morning till night. When you don’t move your body the way you should, your muscles slack with time.

There is a particular exercise for the vaginals called the Kegel exercise. If you are one of those who believe exercise is just for weight loss, you are wrong. Exercise does a lot when it comes to your sex life. The best exercise to improve sex is the Kegel squeeze-basically strength training for your PC muscles which hold up your vagina, uterus, anus, bladder, and urethra. The stronger the muscles are, the more intense your orgasms will be.

Many people talk about Kegel without even knowing what it is, and this makes them do it the wrong way. Some women squeeze their pelvic area while standing or sitting believing that is Kegel. It is a part of it, but definitely not all of it. To do Kegel the right way, try stopping the urine flow when you pee. Hold the squeeze for five seconds, then release. Continue with your other forms of pelvic squeezes while you cook, stand, and sit.

Doing fifty to hundred Kegel squeezes thrice weekly will help keep those muscles in good shape. Don’t make this a daily habit as it could lead to urinary tract and bladder infections.

To take care of your vaginals, I am sure you will find the following tips helpful:

Choice of underwears:

That a particular under wear is beautiful doesn’t make it good for you. Avoid panties made from synthetic as these inhibit the free flow of air around the vaginal area, creating the ideal damp, warm condition for bacterial growth.

Cotton is by far the best fabric to wear and if you enjoy wearing silky underwear, save it for occasional rather than everyday use. Also avoid the regular wearing of tight fitting trousers, girdle, and panty hose.

Poor Hygiene:

Another thing that makes you have vaginal odour and infections is poor hygiene. I see women go to bed without having a night bath. What on earth will make a woman go to bed without properly cleaning up? I see celebrities and young girls publicly confess to this. They talk and care about their face more than their private part.

You go to the bathroom just to wash off make-up and apply your night cream, but you are too tired to get into the bath and wash properly. We see your beautiful and groomed face, but your man sees the private area and that is what pushes him away and makes him lose interest in love making. Smelling good outside doesn’t mean neatness inside.

I keep saying this, that we pray unnecessary prayers most times. We keep disturbing God when we should be doing something reasonable to help ourselves. This is why I always tell our Pastors and Imams to tell us the truth. A woman comes to you for prayers against her husband’s girlfriend and for her husband to return home.

You know her look and carriage are part of the problem. You have never seen her house properly arranged. If you really care about her, you should please tell her to go do something about her looks because you can’t help wondering what some women look like down there just by the condition of their hair and body.

Douching:

It would do you a lot of good if you can stay off those douching products in the market. Douching happens to be one of the major causes of vaginal itching. Your vagina doesn’t require excessive cleansing. Repetitive douching disrupts the normal organisms in the vagina and can actually increase the risk of vaginal infection. Drop that mentality which makes you believe that douching helps clear up vaginal infections.

Scented and Harsh Soaps:

Avoid those scented or harsh soaps such as those with deodorants and anti bacterial action. There are several ranges of feminine wash in the market and they are soap free and gentle for your vagina.There are very common ones like Sebamed, Femfresh, Summers Eve, Beauty Formula. It is very sad that women who should know better are the most guilty of this. Please avoid using Lactacid in your vaginal area.

Also avoid scented tampons and sanitary pads. I know you want to use spray all over your body to impress the guy, but please keep it away from your vaginals. If you wash and keep your vaginals in good state, there won’t be need for anything artificial as that takes away the natural, God-given smell.

Coloured toilet paper and bubble bath should also be avoided. White toilet tissue is the best for you. I know you enjoy having a bubble bath, but it could be one of the reasons for your constant application of Canesten. I can authoritatively tell you that if you live a very healthy lifestyle and use the right products, you won’t need Canesten and those antibiotics that weaken your immune system.

Public Toilet:

Reduce and if possible, stop the use of public toilets. I have maintained that as a policy to stay away from public toilets and if I go into someone’s house, I must check out your environment before deciding on what next to do.

Too much of fried and spicy foods are not good for your vaginals. Also make it a habit to take yogurt regularly. If you have the problem of this foul odour emanating from the vaginal area each time your man sleeps with you, you really have to do something before it wrecks your relationship.

Learn to wash your vagina well with tepid water using feminine wash. Insert your finger properly into your vagina and clean up. This is all you need to keep clean. Some ladies, especially young girls, use alum and other very harsh products for cleansing; please put an end to this.

Eat the right foods with enough fruits and vegetables. Take your milk and yogurt regularly. If you have the itching, try applying fresh, natural yoghurt to your vagina like thrice daily. Keep your vaginal skin dry always.

Sex is very necessary for a good love life with your spouse.Vaginal odour is there to stop your happiness and you must deal with it before it deals with you. If you have this problem of vaginal odour and constant itching, no amount of prayer can help you. Please help yourself by doing something to enable the man breath effectively during love-making.

Embattled Libyan dictator, Colonel Muammar Gaddafi, likes to be sorrounded by beautiful women, his former nurse, Okmsana Balinskaya, has revealed.

Muammar Gahdaffi

In an interview published in the current edition of Newsweek magazine, the Ukranian-born nurse who managed to escape from Libya said: “ Gaddafi just likes to be sorrounded by beautiful things and people.”

Balinskaya said she was picked from a line of candidates after shaking hand with him and Gaddafi looked at her eyes, stressing that the Libyan leader made his decisions about people with his first hand shake with them.

According to the former nurse to Gaddafi, she could not have access to his boss for the first three months. But later she joined other nurses in their duties of checking his heart beat, blood pressure and attending to him regularly.

The former nurse said they called Gaddafi ‘Papi’ meaning ‘little father.’ Balinskaya commended the dictator’s generosity, saying he gave each of his nurses and other personal aides a golden wrist watch yearly with his picture which opened the door of fortune to any recipient anywhere in Libya.

Balinskaya revealed that local medical staff used to envy the nurses who were recruited mostly from Ukrain because they earned $300 (about N450,000) per nurse per month, almost three times the Libyan medical team’s pay.

However, the former nurse denied any of the nurse was Gaddafi’s lover, adding “none of us nurse was his lover. The only time we ever touched him was to take his blood pressure. Gaddafi chose to line only attractive Ukrainian women, most probably because of our looks.”

His former nurse recalled some of Gaddafi’s odd habits like listening to Arab music on an old cassette player and changing his clothes several times in a day. She said he was so obsessed with changing his dress that sometimes when his guests were already waiting for him, he would go back to his room to change his outfit.

While travelling across poor African countries, the former nurse said Gaddafi used to fling money and candy out of his armoured Limosine to children who would scramble for them. But he usually avoided getting in body contact with the kids out of fear of contracting infections.

Balinskaya disclosed that she travelled in company of the Libyan dictator to the United States, Italy, Portugal and Venezuela. During such trips, she said, Gaddafi gave them bonuses for shopping.

She said her impression of the Libyan people was that at least half of the population hate Gaddafi because he has all the power, took all the decisions and all the luxury to himself.

The former nurse said when she first watched the revolution in Tunisia and Egypt on television, she never thought it could happen in Libya. But she opined that if Gaddafi had relinquished power to one of his sons, Serif, when he had opportunity, things would have been different in the country.

Balinskaya said she fled Tripoli early February this year but two of his friends were not that lucky as they were being forced by Gaddafi to stay and perhaps die by his side.

Gaddafi’s former nurse said she escaped when she was four months pregnant for her Ukrainian lover which she knew the Libyan dictator would not have approved.

She added that while his closest aides were running away from the crisis-torn country, Gaddafi forced his chilren and two other Ukrainian nurses around him to stay until their last breath.

For procuring a dangerous abortion that now threatens the life a 17-year old girl, the father of the girl’s boyfriend, Ganiyu Adekunle and his two sons, Ajibola and Tunde have been remanded at the Kirikiri Prisons, Apapa, Lagos, Nigeria on the order of an Ejigbo magistrate’s court.

They were docked at the court on a three-count charge of aborting a six-month pregnancy for the victim who is the girlfriend of Ajibola Adekunle.

Consequent upon the illegal abortion, doctors at Igando General Hospital, Alimosho Local Government Area, Lagos State, Southwest, Nigeria are now battling to save the life of the girl who was impregnated and forced to abort the six-month pregnancy by some members of the family of her boyfriend, Ajibola Adekunle who impregnated her.

The victim alleged that she was held down and injected with contraceptive drug that forcefully aborted the pregnancy by some family members of her boyfriend, Ajibola who impregnated her. She said they did it to cover the shame of having a child outside marriage.

Ajibola’s father, Ganiyu and Tunde were charged to the court for alleged conspiracy for aborting the baby illegally contrary to Section 516,228 and 249 of the Criminal Code Cap 17 of the Criminal Code, 2003.

Narrating to the police what happened, the victim said that she was impregnated by her boyfriend, Ajibola Adekunle who did not deny it. She said he only complained that he had no money to marry now.

She said her uncle she was living with Mr. Waliu Olegbela contacted his parents and they agreed to take care of the pregnancy until she delivers.

Her boyfriend’s father, Ganiyu Adekunle, offered to take care of the victim and baby. She did not know that it was a ploy to terminate the pregnancy.

She said that she left her uncle’s house and started living with the family at 321, Pacific Estate, Ewedogbon bus stop, Akesan, Lagos State.

On the day of the incident, she said that they conspired and brought a nurse who told her she wanted to treat her only to be injected with drugs that aborted her pregnancy.

She said that immediately the drugs were administered on her, she started bleeding profusely until she collapsed and was rushed to the General Hospital where she is now receiving treatment and where she has been abandoned.

Following the treatment meted out to the girl who is an orphan, the police at Igando Station arrested the father, Ganiyu, Ajibola and Tunde and charged them to Ejigbo magistrate’s court with conspiracy and procuring abortion of a six-month old baby.

When the charge was read to them, they pleaded not guilty to the three-count charge. The presiding Magistrate Mrs. S O. Solebo granted them bail in the sum of N250,000 with two responsible sureties each in like sum.

The matter has been adjourned till 5 May 2011 for trial while the court ordered that they should be remanded at Kirikiri Prison, Apapa, Lagos, as they could not fulfil the bail conditions in good time.

Come on - help me here, folks. Somethings are just distastefull, some manageable, and others? Outrightly unbearable and disgusting!
We face one too many heart aches in our land - and pokey, irating, absolutely unbearable so-called ISPs addings theirs to the suffering calls for concern.
I really don't know of you guys out there, but I'll narrate my own side of the story as experienced.
To be candid: is frasting surfing the net in our beloved country - Nigeria. I reside in Port Harcourt, and, my experiences/encounter so far with the so-called ISPs have been damn awful and ugly. 
I used MTN first, got fed up, ditched them; and, as a matter of fact: MTN is just about the very worse -  when it cmes to providing internet services. The next, I tried ZoomMobile; I won't say theirs posed much difficulty to make you scream(atleast you can breathe a sigh of relief after MTN's nightmare), but, just like anyone who will assess them would have this basic demerit of them: they're "unprofessional". I went on to Etisalat; in all fairness to them - theirs was "average"; when they up - they're up(even if it lasts for 10minutes), atleast within this short period of time, you can atleast "access" the net(even if is on their usual low speed. They don't have 3G, but their CS claims they do).
Alright, that's not all. The freshiest, currently trending now is:: I subscribed to MTN's BIS(Blackberry Internet Service) Weekly, last week Friday, at about 10pm, after the much throe to get started with the service(you'll call CS and have to wait for an average of one hour before you can be given audience) - they got to push/enable  my BB browser, after I must have sent the HRT registion to them and did a hard reset; they pushed all the essential BB Service Books(Twitter, Facebook, Yahoo!/GoogleTalk/WindowsLive messengers, and stuffs like that icons) to my Handheld; as a matter of fact: I they sent me all the essential Service Books that came with the service(beautifying my homescreen with more icons - for beautification sake),  it all ended there. When it come to me using any of the services or surfing proper - MTN just turns off the light on me. Just about nothing works! I really started having headache, migrating into migrain; because it gave me serious concern - having to pay for a service and these guys just sit on top of my money and frustrate me, 
I subscribed to Etisalat's normal daily WAP internet, but when I insert their SIM their WAP browser nor that of the BB was nowhere. I had to download Opera Mini browser(via my PC) and started using. For a while: everything went on smoothly, untill I decided to download a file, I was promted with a message the says I don't have any Service Book for Etisalat, they should enable my BB browser. They don't have their WAP browser on my BB even.
So just getting a minor task done online could forever.
Some are of the view that Starcomms seems to be reliable and stable. I tried requesting for internet settings sometime from Glo, and the CS that attended said it will takes about 48hours to activate! Now that was dissauding.
Am yet to tr try Airtel and Multi-links
That has been my experience, so far.
Could you please relate what your experience, or comment/contribute your advice to this; to help us make a better informed futre decision.
Thank you.

culled from nairaland