Letter (3)

Open Letter To Dora Akunyili By Engr. Emeka Ezenwanne On Behalf Of Dora Akunyili's Late Eldest Sister's Family
Engr. Emeka Ezenwanne , Aug 04 2010 01:58pm (4 Comments)
OPEN LETTER TO DORA AKUNYILI by Engr. Emeka Ezenwanne On behalf of Dora Akunyili's Late Eldest Sister's Family

Dear Aunty Dora,



1. I write you this letter as your first nephew and first son of your late sister. I write you on behalf of our family―the family of your late eldest sister. I write with deep sorrow and pain in my heart. I have chosen this medium because it seems to be the only medium you enjoy and especially since you decided to politicize the death of my mother through the mass media. You are the Minister of Information and Communication and in control of Government owned media. You have really demonstrated to us and all Nigerians how much powers you have by mobilizing all Government media to fight your private family battles. You know I have always cared for and respected you and all my aunties and uncles. This letter is out of care and concern for you Aunty. You may not appreciate it now but I am sure that in a few years time, it will all make sense. The goal of this letter is to remind you of our mortality in this world, and to beg of you to please let my mother truly rest in peace!


2. You would recall Aunty that when you were lobbying for the NAFDAC position, you asked my late mother and all of us to go on fasting and prayers and that if God answered our prayers, the family would never be the same again. It is up to you, Aunty, to assess whether in the last 10 years you have been in public service the family has seen more pain or gain. I now agree that power corrupts. But Aunty take it easy because as the late Azikiwe once reminded everyone, ‘no condition is permanent’! Life is a stage, and all positions remain temporal and ephemeral. In the end, you will still need this family, and you may not know exactly when or how!


3. Your tribute to my late mother attests to the fact that she literally brought you up, and was the matriarch of your family since your parents died early. But over the last several years, you brought so much pain and sorrow that she regretted having you as a sister. Her unanswered question remained: "what did I do to Dorothy?" Only you can answer that question! It speaks volumes that your eldest sister who doubled as your mother was sick for about six months and even flown abroad for six weeks and you did not know. Of course, if you were in talking terms with her or if you ever called her on phone, you would have known. Whatever may be your reasons for your behaviour towards her, it baffles us that you have no compassion even to the dead. Your conduct before, during and after the burial/funeral ceremonies gave the impression that you were bent on disrupting the ceremonies for reasons best known to you. In the attempts, caution was thrown to the winds and perhaps you may not be aware that you committed several abominations in the process.


(a) First and without consultation with our family, you left your hometown (Nanka) and came to set up a parallel, rival funeral site next to our compound (contrary to custom and tradition). When I noticed this abominable arrangement two weeks to the burial, I politely begged and explained to Uncle Anayo (your younger brother who came to make the arrangement) that it was not proper. We thought it was settled. My family was shocked to notice in the early hours of the burial day, that you adamantly went ahead to set up a tent beside our family house as your own funeral site. It took the intervention of our kindred, the traditional ruler, and the police to convince your occupation force to relocate to your home town Nanka as the tradition demanded. Of course, the soldiers and police you brought to enforce your wish brutalized several members of my kindred who protested the abomination. Aunty, our hearts bled. Is this the use of power which you asked us to fast and pray for? You know best the reasons for your strained relationship with my mother, and even at her death, you brought truck loads of soldiers and police to harass and beat up innocent people who came to mourn her death. We did not find this act funny, Aunty. Now that my mother has died, are you now on a mission to also conquer her family?



(b) Why did you not allow your immediate elder brother, Uncle Joseph, who is the first son of your parents, to be part of your delegation to the burial/funeral? By tradition, he was expected to lead the delegation of our Uncles and aunties. We were shocked when you stood in the Alter of God and publicly announced that your more successful younger brother, Uncle Anayo, was the head of the Edemobi family. Is Uncle Joe dead? Some of us can only hazard a guess as to the reasons. But Aunty, to deny him the opportunity to see the corpse of his eldest sister and also publicly deny him his birthright as the head of the Edemobi family (on tape) is an abomination! It pained us that Uncle Joe was not allowed to see his sister’s corpse and pay his last respects. Dear Aunty, there will be life after Government!



(c) Again, Aunty, why would you bribe the Umuada Nanka (paid each N5000) so that they won’t perform their last rites to my mother? On the morning of Saturday, July 17, we sent a bus to bring the leadership of Umuada as we were directed but were told that you asked them not to come. Must you go this far Aunty? Well, we are happy that we fulfilled all the requirements as demanded by your people and the Umuada, as required by custom and tradition, including the cow, etc. By tradition, you and the Umuada are now the ones owing my mother! Money, they say, is the root of all evils. With money, Aunty, you have created a crisis among the Umuada. Many of them have called us to complain that you have goaded them into committing an abomination by not giving my mother her right, and are now demanding a date from us so that they can shed the burden. We leave you and the Umuada to your conscience, to God, and the spirit of my mother!



(d) We heard you were complaining that the corpse of my mother was not brought to you at Nanka before the burial. Very funny, isn’t it, Aunty? Remember this was the woman you had not spoken to in over a year. How many times in the last five years did my mother enter that compound? Why would she do so only as a corpse? By the way, when did it become the custom and tradition of Nanka that a married daughter of Nanka would never be buried unless and until the corpse has been taken to her father’s compound in Nanka? Aunty, I am sure you know enough that taking of corpses to the deceased’s father’s home is simply a gesture of goodwill (especially when the corpse has been put in a mortuary, where it is convenient to do so, and where existing relationship is cordial) and never a requirement by custom and tradition in Nanka or even the environs. What if she was married in Calabar and the survivors had no money to even put the corpse in the mortuary?



Finally, everyone of the over ten thousand people who attended the two day events attested that it was a funeral to be remembered for years for its huge success. While everyone was praising us and our inlaws for giving our mother a historic burial, you went ahead to call a press conference to give bad publicity to the events. Well, he who has decided to dance unclothed in the market place must not blame the children for taking a glance at his nudity. I will refrain from commenting on that press conference and your spurious allegations therein. We were all shocked that you could boldly fabricate such stories about thugs and tell the whole world. My mother must be perplexed anywhere she is about your conduct and how you are paying back her family for all she did for you. Think about this Aunty, you could not devote one minute of network news to announce the death of your eldest sister but devoted minutes of airtime in all TV stations including the NTA network news, radio, and the print media to run your obviously self-serving advertisements to ensure that the burial had a bad press. It is well!.



4. My last word, Aunty, is that you should take it easy. Please watch it Aunty because, aside from the choruses and trumpets that go with power, the ship may be getting empty by the day. Always remember, we all love you. We earnestly pray that you will still come to the reality that aside from God, your most important possession is family! We are still observing the 40 days of mourning, but I will not forget to send our belated happy birthday wishes. We will continue to pray for you, Aunty!



With all best wishes,



Your nephew,



Engr. Emeka Ezenwanne


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Outrage and amazement are some of the emotions currently on display in Yola, Adamawa State, after the startling revelation contained in a letter addressed to a radio station in the state capital, Radio Gotel, by a lady who claimed to be an undergraduate of the Federal University of Technology Yola (FUTY). The lady, in the letter which was sent to the producer of the programme, "Heart to Heart", said she contracted the Human Immuno-deficiency Virus (HIV) from her student boyfriend and has, in revenge, willfully slept with some 124 students and lecturers at the school. The letter also contained the writer's threat to make public the names of those who have had sex with her "on the notice board." This has led to panic and spirited discussions among the male population in Yola, especially within the school community. The school's authorities, however, claim to be unaware of the letter, but promised to look into it. The letter reads, in part: "I have a well-documented report of all those guys and lecturers who crossed my path, since I got infected with this deadly disease in the campus. So far, I have had 124 students and lecturers; out of these, only six (6) used condoms". On a revenge mission Continuing, she said in the letter, "I owe nobody an apology and am still on a spreading till I spread it no more." The writer, who did not hide the trauma and disappointment she faced, explained in the letter that her first impulse upon the discovery of her HIV status was to take away her own life. "I, however, did not confide my status to anyone until today (i.e the disclosure via the letter)," she said. "Since 2006, I promised myself that it's in the university I got it and here I will leave it. I have indeed lived to keep my promise. "I was in year three when a student on his attachment in our school proposed for a relationship. He had all the qualities a woman would want in a man so I gave in. He told me all a girl would want to hear. In my innocence and naivety, I succumbed to his pressure to have sex with him. Consequently, I lost my virginity to him. "After his placement, he reported for his final year and we still had contacts. I visited him on a number of occasions, I have even lost count the number of times I visited him. He was my first and only love and, therefore, hanged on every word he told me. "My boyfriend later graduated and we lost contact until last month when his sister told me about his whereabouts. Before registration in the faculty of science, I went for medical test as is the requirement. I then opted for an HIV/AIDS test, which unfortunately turned out to be positive. "It then dawned on me that I have traded the rest of my life for a university student who had deliberately and intentionally preyed on my innocence". Danger of casual sex A medical worker, who gave her name as Agnes, said the only lesson from the letter is that people should be careful about casual sex. "Whatever you think, it is a fact that casual sex is very popular and for a lot of people, it's something that either satisfies a desire or serves a purpose," she said. "It is, therefore, an issue that affects many young people today, as they patronise casual sex under the various terms like ‘No strings attached' and ‘the one night stands' culture gaining foothold in our social life." According to the United Nations AIDs agency, a vast majority of people with HIV and AIDS live in lower and middle-income countries. Around half of all people who become infected with HIV do so before they are25.
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Letter to NEPA

September 17, 2008 The Area Manager, NEPA, Lagos Dear Sir, COMPLAINT ABOUT YOUR SERVICES I am writing to you with a deep sense of humility and gentleness. I consider this a great opportunity to communicate with an entity as awe-inspiring as you. Firstly, I bring greetings to you from residents of my area in Lagos. As a dutiful citizen, I consider this letter as part of my civic responsibilities. Great countries comprise of citizens who are alive to their responsibilities. As a famous musician once said, "Ask not what your country can eat from you but what you can eat from your country.” I have benefited immensely from this country; therefore I have decided to give back. I want to bring to your notice some strange occurrences which have been happening in my area. I want to sadly inform you that in the last 2 weeks, electricity has been stable. In other words, we sleep and wake up with electricity, we go to work and come back and electricity is still running. This is terribly new and It has added DANGEROUS development in the lives of residents of my area. This is something we are not used to. There is too much electricity for us to handle. In the first week of constant electricity, I started acting strangely. I ironed all my clothes because I didn't know when 'light' will be impounded on your orders. After 2 days, the 'light' was still there. Therefore, I proceeded to re-iron the ironed clothes. My fridge which had not seen '4 hours' of constant light for months suddenly started freezing. In order to enjoy the maximum effects of refrigeration, I have decided to be drinking 20 cups of cold water before I go to sleep. Once I finish a cup, I put the bottle back into the fridge. After 10 minutes, the water cools and I drink. I just don't know what to do. All the Ceiling fans in my house have been switched on alongside my AC. My deck is playing at a high level. My life is now in state of chaos because of constant 'light'. My TV and VCD player are complaining of high blood pressure, as they have been terribly overworked in the last few weeks. Half of my light bulbs have gone on strike to protest their resurrection from blissful death. All the customers in the beer parlour beside my house are complaining that the beer is too cold and wants to destroy their teeth. Even the rats and cockroaches are complaining that human assailants find it easier to track and exterminate them under electric light than under candlelight. All the witches and wizards that regularly visited me in my sleep have suddenly taken flight in the presence of "light". Now I have to review my membership of MFM (Mountain of Fire and Miracles) since their work has been done. Can you imagine what will happen to the membership of churches if constant 'light' persists? No more demons, meaning No more offerings!! Kai!!!!!!!!! With the above situation not abating, I decided to seek the reason behind this strange situation. This task was made easy for me when I realized that it was the work of saboteurs. Sabotage is the main reason for anything going wrong or right in our country. Our elections were sabotaged, our president's health is being sabotaged, and Obama's chances of becoming the American President are being sabotaged by Nigerians. Therefore this constant 'light' is the handiwork of saboteurs within your work system. These disgruntled individuals are enemies of progress who want you to miss your set targets. These enemies want you to score very low on your KPI assessment. I realised this fact when I stumbled on a document showing your Key Performance Indicators for every month. These are: 1. Explosive growth in the amount of Candle-lit dinners and balcony-bedrooms 2. Massive boom in the sales of Candles, torchlights, generators, inverters and lanterns 3. Increased work place productivity due to Employees spending at least 16 hours at work because there is no light at home 4. Massive growth of Rock music fan clubs being aided by the endless sound of generators that are switched on overnight. 5. Volume of human blood being sucked by mosquitoes unchallenged by ceiling/standing fans 6. Incidence of heat rashes 7. Large Increase in naming ceremonies: When people have no light at home, what else do they do with their time other than *******? Sir, I strongly feel that the above achievements will not be possible if we keep on having 'light'. The saboteurs in your workplace will make you look stupid and incapable in front of your bosses. The repercussions of this charade would be unbearable. This is why I am writing to you now. As a responsible citizen, if I do not volunteer this information, I know that I will be the one to suffer. The day you realise that I have been enjoying endless light for 2 weeks, you will pay me back with 10 black months. The end will be worse than the beginning, thereof. I am at a crossroad. This is a major dilemma. Should I keep quiet? No I won't. This is because Evil triumphs when Good Men keep silent. Your incompetent staffs have left the light switch on and gone to sleep. I know you will take back all that we have stolen from you but Please remember my house in the day of recompense. posted by exschoolnerd
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