Even though divorce is common, it’s worse than death of a spouse .It does a terrible devastation. If your partner dies, you face many losses, but he or she didn’t chose to leave you(except in the case of suicide).He never slam the door in your face, nor scream at you, or quietly live a double life of lies. People come over to express their sympathy come to you. Insurance settlements are quickly paid. Others come with cookies and goodies just to condole you. And, a dead spouse ghost doesn’t fight with you about who get the kids on the weekends. You never have to drop your kids off the cemetery.But divorce is traumatic, where death ends-divorce starts there. It has a steady stream of rejection, pain and loss of emotional feelings. It can be compared to a war that goes on in which the parties walk out with emotional scar. There are constant feelings of rejection, frustrations mixes with anger, hurt and deep longing caused by divorce. In fact, the entire family is poisoned; the victims can’t maintain good friendships with the former relatives.People avoid you and getting the regular child support from your ex-spouse is a threat. You no longer socialize like before. You don’t receive Mother’s Day presents, or the flowers during birthdays. You can’t fit in again in church activities. You miss the play mates who visit your home because of your ex-spouse. Even though both of you understand how much you miss each other; you can’t still help the situation.Children also have their own portion of devastation during divorce. It’s common for children of all ages to act out their pain during divorce. But, adolescent are likely to do so in more dangerous ways like, delinquency, alcohol abuse and drug abuse. Not all adolescents whose parents divorce are doomed to misbehave. But, it’s daydreaming to think that divorce will be better for the children.They also have to deal more with parent who’s not tolerance than before. More volatile issues like financial support or child custody are capable of causing hatred, pain and emotional feelings anytime there’s misunderstanding. The problems that caused the divorce still remain unsolved and increase bitter feelings towards each other.Younger spouse who’re victim of divorce assume there’s still plenty of time to find the right partner. While the older ones aren’t so sure. They sometime feel desperate and hopeless.To really prevent the traumatic experience caused by divorce. Couple shouldn’t rush to divorce as an option and assume that their marital problems are incurable. Marriage is just like human beings, a creature of habit. Any change in their accustomed environment will have a profound effect upon its. Even forces it to some kind of adaptation which in most cases can’t adapt.For those who have traumatic feelings caused by divorce. To get emotional stabilization and heal the broken heart, they shouldn’t wallow in self-pity or losses. Rather take stock of those losses and know exactly the source of their bitter feelings. Because knowing the cause of a disease is half cure. Having done that, share it with your trusted friends, competence marriage counselor or a pastor. You’ll definitely be relieved!FROM http://luvisgrate.blogspot.comRead more…
It’s well known that, a loving and caring couple will always respect and cherish each other. There can never be a room for snapping, let alone fight .The question is what’s on the mind of a man who uses fist to settle differences with his wife at the slightest provocation. Could it be that he is fade up with the marriage? A lot of articles, seminars, and marriage counselors have concluded that the lust for the forbidden fruit is always instrumental to the cause of such demeaning thing.Whatever is the cause, physical attack has never made any wife more loving or caring. You can’t tear a wife to pieces and expect her to meet your emotional needs. It will be better for couples to avoid the worn-out accusation and complaints that trigger off crisis.But the irony of the situation is most wives would never admit that they have been battered. Even with bodily harm. And, these remains me of the popular adage that says;”Marital problems are best resolved in bed”. This means couple can resolve battering case without legal action. Many wife- battering cases have come and disappeared without the intervention of the third party. Many people who have intervened in such cases are perceived as enemies when the case is finally resolved.Before a husband starts to physically attack his wife or commit any other “marital blunder”, something fundamental has changed in the marriage. When the partners were in their rosy days; they displayed love in public, because they have something unique which they must show to the world that they are romantically bonded. And, those proof quickly disappear during wife battering.That feeling that pushes a man to fight is accumulated anger which he ignored or buried alive in his subconscious. It’s not always noticeable. But can always turn out to become grudges and hatred towards the wife if unexpressed.One top of that, we are in a society where men are regarded as “Mr. Right”. Even most parents displayed it the family circle. So, their children grow up with the unrealistic ideas and practice it in marriage. They simply believe that being severe to their wives is aimed at producing a well-disciplined wife. And justify their rage emotional bursts in the name of wife- battering. When the outburst finally becomes the pattern of parental conduct, their children –especially the male ones may copy it and go along with it for the rest of their life.SOURCE http://luvisgrate.blogspot.comRead more…
