What do you do as a woman if your husband is a serial cheat and there are children involved? The question was put to me but I was stumped and I didnt have an answer.
1.Do you immediately divorce him?
2.Do you get your own back and start having affairs of your own?
3.Do you become a nervous, miserable wreck?
4.Do you pretend that it isn't happening & face the children instead?
or any other other solution?
As far as I'm concerned, aside from the death of a loved one, there is no greater trauma than to find out your 'significant other' has been seeing someone else.
In light of the aforementioned, and in particular due to the current media frenzy detailing the astonishing, alleged/supposed 'double life' debacle of Tiger Woods -I am re-printing here (with some tweaking) one of my most popular articles while, simultaneously, one by one his so-called mistresses seem to keep coming out of the proverbial woodwork to spill the beans on their liaisons. The victims in this tragedy are the children, and his wife, who never asked to be thrust into the national spotlight and dissected under a microscope and humiliated. Here, then, is one of my most-read and most-requested articles on the subject of 'serial cheaters'.
My personal opinion of married men who cheat is -- to kick them to the curb - the sooner the better. Of course, you have other options if you feel that you cannot live without the lying cheat.
These men have issues - deep-seated issues. These issues are not going to go away in a month or two. Sure, they got caught and now they are on their best behavior. But, how long will it last? until you start feeling comfortable - and look the other way -- then, one day - whammo...you're back to where you started from. The phone rings - the person on the other end just listens to you while you say 'hello'. No response. You finally hang up....wondering. Then, you quickly dismiss it. To ponder it too long might bring back unpleasant feelings and memories.
I was involved with two of these 'serial' cheaters in my life. I don't miss the pain of being in those negative, destructive relationships one iota. Yes, they made me wiser - they also made me older - in the respect that I wasted many years of my life on each one, thinking, or hoping, one day they would change. I realize in hindsight they were both deficient in a main ingredient needed as a building block in a relationship -- values. They were deficient in character, good character. They did not have the value system that I did. In my book, lying, cheating, manipulation and deception are not qualities you want to see in your 'significant other'.
No one wants to date someone who is a serial cheater. How do you know if someone is willing to cheat on you though? A number of different signs may indicate that someone has cheated many, many times in the past. Here are some of the common characteristics of serial cheaters.
HOW DO YOU KNOW HE WILL CHEAT ON YOU
Cheating in Past Relationships
If someone has cheated in a previous relationship, this may be a sign that they are a serial cheater. While there are some people who cheat once and never cheat again, the saying “once a cheater, always a cheater” is generally true in most cases. When you know that the person you are dating has cheated once or more, then you should know to be cautious when entering a relationship with them. Even if the person has not admitted to cheating, it is likely that you will still hear rumors about them that may or may not be true.
Lots of Short Relationships
Some serial cheaters remain in one long relationship with someone who they frequently cheat on. This is not always the case, however. Many serial cheaters have a lot of very short relationships. The best way to find out is to ask the person how many relationships they have been in. Also keep in mind that you will want to ask what the length of their longest relationship was. If the relationship was only a few months long, this may indicate that they do not have success in this department and it very well could be because they are a serial cheater.
Words and Actions
It is often easy to spot a serial cheater based on their words and actions. Anyone who makes themselves seem like the perfect person to get into a relationship with may be trying too hard. When someone is a really great person, they will not give you more complements than necessary or talk about a perfect future with you. If the person that you are seeing is insisting that you become sexually involved after one or two dates, this is also something that may indicate that they have been around the block more times than you can count.
Friends and Family
When you begin seeing someone, it is very common to not meet any of their friends or family members right away. Once the relationship is made official, it is very unusual to not be introduced to anyone that the guy or girl you are seeing knows. If you almost feel as though you are being kept hidden, it could be because you really are. Be sure to bring it up and if the person becomes defensive, it could be a sign that the person is really a serial cheater.
These are just a few of the signs that may indicate that someone is a serial cheater. The most important thing to keep in mind is that if someone has been willing to cheat in the past, they are also willing to cheat on you. Even though you may feel like you’re special or different, the truth is that you probably aren’t. Spotting a serial cheater early on will help prevent you from being the next brokenhearted victim.
Hope to hear from you!
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