Posted by 9jabook.com on October 30, 2008 at 8:53am
Confusing Chinese Names
Caller : Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan (anyone)?
Operator : Yes, you can speak to me.
Caller : No, I want to speak to Annie Wan (anyone)!
Operator : You are talking to someone! Who is this?
Caller : I'm Sam Wan (Someone). And I need to talk to Annie Wan (anyone)! It's urgent.
Operator : I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about?
Caller : Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan (anyone) that our brother Noel Wan (no one)has involved in an accident. Noel Wan (no one)got injured and now Noel Wan (no one) is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan (everyone) is on his way to the hospital.
Operator : Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgen t matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this!
Caller : You are so rude! Who are you?
Operator : I'm Saw Lee (Sorry).
Caller : Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!!*******************************************************************
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Posted by 9jabook.com on October 27, 2008 at 1:23am
One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.
He invited all his neighbours to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.
A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.
As the farmer's neighbours continued to shovel dirt on top of the
animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon,
everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of
the well and happily trotted off!
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to
getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of
our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up
Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.
2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happen.
3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less
Have a lovely week everyone.
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Posted by OBAJE AFREECA on October 17, 2008 at 1:36pm
It’s nice and lovely joining this great site and meeting my Naija brothers and sisters in sharing the message of One Pure Love peace and unity. Our great Home Naija has come of age and so has gone through many difficult times notably, the Biafran war, religious riots and other civil unrests that we all had to deal with to survive up to this very moment.This and many more challenges we have faced as a people struggling to make our mark on planet earth but never before have we faced a dilemma like the current crisis in the Delta region of our great Country Nigeria.I have only heard and read happenings there but not enough to say I know what really is the problem and why we have been unable to solve our problems ourselves calling foreigners to come and resolve it.Here I’m asking you my loving brothers and sisters why? Why can’t we resolve this problem?
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Posted by 9jabook.com on October 13, 2008 at 12:57am
The federal government is sending each of us a N60, 000 rebate. If we spend that money at Shop-rite, the money goes to China. If we spend it on fuel it goes to the Arabs. If we buy a computer it will go to India. If we purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala. If we purchase a good car it will go to Germany. If we purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan and none of it will help the Nigerian economy. The only way to keep that money here at home is to spend it on Mama -put, Nkwobi, Soldier Root, Peppersoup, Opa-eyin,cow leg, Jedi, Juju, Monkeytail, Isi-Ewu, Beer and Prostitutes, since these are the only products still produced in Nigeria..Cheers All
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answer from frank at the naijatech guy ! lol !
nice review ! who paid you mr originality .if i even decide to review yr site u will cry .lol ! in 3mths we are clocking 3000members plus we have an alexa rating of 170,000 ! have you ever heard of a guest book that is where facebook originated from . ok maybe u are new to the web.! jambanjatis and soxl are new originations of the words . naijatechtalk is not original mr original so called original .goto techtalk.com . its dumbasses like u that nigeria does not need ! ok
so hw come u use wordpress ? why not create your own blogging platform ? thank Hod you have heard of ning . i smell jealousy here ! lots of it ! lol ! i love you man honest ! this means we are doing sumthin roite .lol like ma english ?
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Posted by 9jabook.com on October 10, 2008 at 4:28am
The future of Social Networking is in your wallet! ...and the wallet of your closest friends, and their closest friends, and so on and so on.
Forget the hype about total networks on each of the many social networking platforms ... it's just that... hype. There is no point in building a platform of social networks without also providing the means, method, and support system to allow those Network Creators and their members to make money... lots of money! The halcyon days of Social Networking version 1.0 are OVER my friends. The world economy, and the Web 2.0 economy, are now into RED ALERT mode.
Unless you plan on surviving the financial "nuclear winter" by living off your rich uncle's inheritance money, you need a PLAN on how you can build a home-grown, bootstrapped business that can generate real profits through Social Networking.
The Secret is in getting back to Basics - Human Nature 101
Humans are pack animals. Call it a "herd" mentality. We like to believe that we think for ourselves, but in reality most of us follow the lead of the others around us and try to pick up the signals of "danger" or "opportunity" in our immediate environment. This reactionary mechanism can be harnessed by those who understand it.
If Network Creators are provided with a means, a method, and a support system to create MICRO ECONOMIES within their own particular niche, then the entire world of Social Networking will be turned on its head. They can draw other members of their own "herd" who have similar interests and who likewise are spooked by recent economic events to focus their energy and spending on focused activities, both business and pleasure. These members will also want to participate in the profit-generating potential of a niche Network that is empowered with the proper membership tools.
Rather than thinking that people simply want to create destinations based on a hobby, activity, business, or a sport - we should be thinking that people want to create ECONOMIC destinations based on these niches, and give them an ability to utilize the wealth of information and interaction that goes on within each of them.
It's the DATA stupid!
It is patently absurd for a platform to suggest that Network Creators can create any sort of network they wish and take their data with them -- when in fact it is technically impossible without hiring a special developer to write custom tools or programs at a cost exponentially higher than that platform's premium membership fees. Why would a person interested in creating profit waste time with this nonsense?
Instead, the future of Social Networking is with platforms that provide INHERENT TOOLS that give FULL CONTROL to the Network Creator to build MICRO ECONOMIES that generate extremely valuable DATA from the interactions between the members of that niche network. This data can be recycled within the network itself for a multitude of purposes that perpetuate the financial cycle, including, but not limited to:
1. Cross Marketing between members;
2. Trading Posts / Barter exchange between members;
3. Advertising by members to others that come to the niche network for information;
4. Reselling of premium content generated by members themselves;
5. Aggregation of data by many members regarding shared events or reference points, where the sum of the whole is worth more than the individual pieces (crowd-sourcing);
Who shall lead us to the Promised Land?
One word... TRUST! Is the Emperor wearing any clothes today? Are you being told one thing and then given another? Does the leader of your platform have a history of behavior that is contradictory to the goals that they promote publicly? These are all relevant questions to ask.
Those who survive the present "panic mode" will do so because they turn LOCAL instead of GLOBAL, and try to focus on making the most money from the smallest group of similarly situated members. They must also TRUST that the PLATFORM they choose has a business model that is designed to make this possible. Once a Network Creator commits to building a network on a platform, it can be a DISASTER if that Platform's leader decides to exact a pound of flesh and BAN or DELETE the Network or Network Creator from the platform - destroying months of work and hundreds of thousands of valuable data objects.
When smaller IS better!
The PLATFORM must not have a goal of creating the greatest number of total networks. This merely creates a dilution of the Platform's capital and resources. Rather, the Platform must create tools and services that allow a SMALLER group of networks to make a larger NET PROFIT. The less mouths there are too feed, the more likely it is that the tribe will survive.
Why would a Platform brag to its tribe members (Network Creators) that it has hundreds of thousands members ... when the reality is that all of these tribes are feeding from the same plate of Platform resources? The only possible rationale would be an desire to sell out the tribe to a bigger tribe down the road since the more mouths there are to feed, the less resources are available for each tribal member.
Instead of trying to grow infinitely large, a platform should give each member the tools to go out and hunt and gather for themselves... with each successful kill being shared up the chain with the tribal leader (Platform). This symbiotic method ensures the survival of both the indidudal Networks as well as the platform as a whole.
Who's your Daddy?
Let us not forget the most important three letter word in the dictionary... FUN! It is a proven fact that people who are having fun are more willing to spend money. Can you say "VEGAS" anyone? Why should Social Networking be so serious?
The future of Social Networking involves a RELAXED and self-effacing educational process for Network Creators. The PLATFORM must have an open and supportive environment for the Network Creators who are trying to learn how to build profitable MICRO ECONOMIES. It should not be PUNITIVE or RETRIBUTIVE towards those who express their opinions, fears, concerns, or complaints. The Successful Platform will be the one that LAUGHS AT ITSELF when necessary, while also making sure that there is no hypocrisy in their own actions. It is FINE to be the guardian of the greater good and to sequester trolls when needed, but this does NOT mean censorship of those who indicate that the platform's PROMISES have not been met. And when the time comes for an explanation... PUHLEASE... "just the facts ma'm"... no hyperbole or double-talk!
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AM ON PROMO PAROLEI know you don't know me but am an artist.DAAFROOCOOL a.k.a CORPORATE RAPPER that is the name.i am on promo. two CLASSIC tracks. won't mind if yoube the first to give my songs to djs, friends and music lovers to play my jamz. they are tight, that is a promise.pls get back to me asap. thanks in anticipation of your supportand God lift you high. 1Pls do send me your e-mail, so i could attach and send my songs....use this links and listen to my musicshttp://www.showcaseyourmusic.com/corporaterapperand www.xplitcity.com/daaf .... do drop anote in the comment boxes . thanks
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When they tell youthat you should knowyour limitations,tell themyou have no limitations.When they tell youthat you won't make it,tell themYou will make it.When they tell youthat you aren't good enough,remember thatyou are good enough.When they tell youthat it's hard to succeed,tell themyou'll try your best anyway.When they tell youthat they can't understand,thank them for trying.When they tell you thatyou're not cut out for it,show them that you are.Even when othersdon't believe in you,you must believe in yourself.Be true to youand your dreams will come true.
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As long as there's a breathleft in your body,there's hope.As long as mankindhas prowled the earth,miracles have happened,restoring life and health.As long as you havea loving heart,God will send muchwarmth and loveto you in return.As long as you've been alive,God has been watching over youand answering your prayers.As long as the heavenand stars exist,God will be therefor you.
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A--AcceptAccept others for who they are and for the choices they've made even if you have difficulty understanding their beliefs, motives, or actions.B--Break AwayBreak away from everything that stands in the way of what you hope to accomplish with your life.C--CreateCreate a family of friends whom you can share your hopes, dreams, sorrows, and happiness with.D--DecideDecide that you'll be successful and happy come what may, and good things will find you. The roadblocks are only minor obstacles along the way.E--ExploreExplore and experiment. The world has much to offer, and you have much to give. And every time you try something new, you'll learn more about yourself.F--ForgiveForgive and forget. Grudges only weigh you down and inspire unhappiness and grief. Soar above it, and remember that everyone makes mistakes.G--GrowLeave the childhood monsters behind. They can no longer hurt you or stand in your way.H--HopeHope for the best and never forget that anything is possible as long as you remain dedicated to the task.I--IgnoreIgnore the negative voice inside your head. Focus instead on your goals and remember your accomplishments. Your past success is only a small inkling of what the future holds.J--JourneyJourney to new worlds, new possibilities, by remaining open-minded. Try to learn something new every day, and you'll grow.K--KnowKnow that no matter how bad things seem, they'll always get better. The warmth of spring always follows the harshest winter.L--LoveLet love fill your heart instead of hate. When hate is in your heart, there's room for nothing else, but when love is in your heart, there's room for endless happiness.M--ManageManage your time and your expenses wisely, and you'll suffer less stress and worry. Then you'll be able to focus on the important things in life.N--NoticeNever ignore the poor, infirm, helpless, weak, or suffering. Offer your assistance when possible, and always your kindness and understanding.O--OpenOpen your eyes and take in all the beauty around you. Even during the worst of times, there's still much to be thankful for.P--PlayNever forget to have fun along the way. Success means nothing without happiness.Q--QuestionAsk many questions, because you're here to learn.R--RelaxRefuse to let worry and stress rule your life, and remember that things always have a way of working out in the end.S--ShareShare your talent, skills, knowledge, and time with others. Everything that you invest in others will return to you many times over.T--TryEven when your dreams seem impossible to reach, try anyway. You'll be amazed by what you can accomplish.U--UseUse your gifts to your best ability. Talent that's wasted has no value. Talent that's used will bring unexpected rewards.V--ValueValue the friends and family members who've supported and encouraged you, and be there for them as well.W--WorkWork hard every day to be the best person you can be, but never feel guilty if you fall short of your goals. Every sunrise offers a second chance.X--X-RayLook deep inside the hearts of those around you and you'll see the goodness and beauty within.Y--YieldYield to commitment. If you stay on track and remain dedicated, you'll find success at the end of the road.Z--ZoomZoom to a happy place when bad memories or sorrow rears its ugly head. Let nothing interfere with your goals. Instead, focus on your abilities, your dreams, and a brighter tomorrow.
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I feared being aloneuntil I learned to likemyself.I feared failureuntil I realized that I onlyfail when I don't try.I feared successuntil I realizedthat I had to tryin order to be happywith myself.I feared people's opinionsuntil I learned thatpeople would have opinionsabout me anyway.I feared rejectionuntil I learned tohave faith in myself.I feared painuntil I learned thatit's necessaryfor growth.I feared the truthuntil I saw theugliness in lies.I feared lifeuntil I experiencedits beauty.I feared deathuntil I realized that it'snot an end, but a beginning.I feared my destiny,until I realized thatI had the power to changemy life.I feared hateuntil I saw that itwas nothing more thanignorance.I feared loveuntil it touched my heart,making the darkness fadeinto endless sunny days.I feared ridiculeuntil I learned howto laugh at myself.I feared growing olduntil I realized thatI gained wisdom every day.I feared the futureuntil I realized thatlife just kept gettingbetter.I feared the pastuntil I realized thatit could no longer hurt me.I feared the darkuntil I saw the beautyof the starlight.I feared the lightuntil I learned that thetruth would give mestrength.I feared change,until I saw thateven the most beautiful butterflyhad to undergo a metamorphosisbefore it could fly.
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Posted by 9jabook.com on October 6, 2008 at 1:11am
fellow 9jabookers,
I hereby declare the official launching of my humble aspiration to become the next president of Nigeria.
This will take place online on various websites .Starting with Facebook and then 9jabook.com and then coming soon to a site near your browser.
the following please take note for bad belus reasons:
Former Presidents
open teethmakaveli 2pac i go chop your dollar n give u change
Gen oloose gun OBJectives not met in 8yrs gimme gimme more time .
Aspired presidents
Prof Kris Kotierus speech master so so talk n no aktion
Dr Patrickus Atomi tito do gooder all round general nice guy.Change requires turning yr gang into real gangleaders.nice guys finish last in 9ja.we love u but you will neva be president of nigeria.
Present Presidents
musa sicko yay! nuclear power yadua (i love iran !)
secret police:
Top copper chop i chop balogun , my namesake (i disown u o !) naija FBIs BPE EFFCC NASS NNPC na God go save una all
9ICE, 2face,Dbanj, Ice block , pure water and all d other numeral stars .being a start comes with great responsibilty ask spiderman a fictitious cartoon xter.u guys can give the youths a real message ! A REAL MESSAGE of CHANGE !
Owners of:
Linkserve ltd for wasting my time thinking dis was 9ja answer to microsoft
Standard Chartered Bank for wasting my time X2 for making me do a three year olds job for three bloomin years n getting paid 3000years salary of some people i know !
SPDC na mend go settle una
Now for enjoyment and pleasure reasons:
all JB 4 presido members,Former girlfriends ,former churches and pastors , former niteclubs and beer parlours , Ocean view pls take note ! 9jabook and its friends.big south alleluia to ma homie brian zuckerberg Fbook owner .i love ya .Massive shout to ma main man Barrack Osama saddam hussein(na 4 only yankee e fit happen ! blk man with dat name !) .borrow me yr wife 4 campaign.
peace am out !
Jb4presido the 9ja obama !
aka Sanni fellow nigerians Abacha aka johnbull bakassi ahunna PA to lawrence d law anini plus all d plenti enemies number one for 9ja.
ps all dis demo na make una join 9jabook.com !lol.
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