Yahoo Yahoo Boy just sent this to all his yahoo pals on yahoo messenger :"EFCC and ICPC....dey online ...dem dey always talk like whitie.......oooh ...and for networks dem dey hack into networks ...especially
starcoms,new browsing networks ....so they are hacking thru ..and they


will send money to someone via western union ...jasi bro i just dey tell
u cos i don see people wey dem don catch and it was on efcc show on
saturdays ....CAREFUL bro pass this to every one on your list Breaking
News to everyone. This is to let everyone know that Nigeria Telephone
Companies are now working with EFCC. Zain just called my pal on 27th of
feb. They are trying to get personal details about him. They called with
08021900000. Pls becareful out there"

Western Union, MTCN yahoo yahoo boys, and the mugu. A partnership of Criminals with western union as the principal Partner !

Underground Investigation out !

A typical 419 procedure

1.send out bulk email aka spam with a suitable (format) Charity,abacha family,Lottery etc

2. get a reply from a mugu/maga

3.Con maga/mugu/maye the 419 process (carry phone,wash wash process, etc )

4. Maga sends money to you posing as a british resident via western union

5.The Western Union Agent (a Scammer) recieves a text/call from the scammer in Nigeria with the details of the WU txn like the name ,amount,control number makes forged documents like a passport or drivers license. He fills the form and signs it !

6.Western union gets paid a commision for the transaction .The agent gets a commission from WU for the transaction

WU comes for periodic checks and forewarns the agent as they need time to get their books ready .

Western Union has long been known to be a conduit for the transfer of illegal sums of money by all kinds of scammers and conmen

This institiution for what it is worth has not been known to have any ties or alliances with instigators of these nefarious acts

until the advent of the Nigerian 419 phenomenom. As far back as 1999 Nigerian scammers have routed their scam proceeds through western union

to nigerian cities and agents based in Nigeria.

but with time as the advance fee fraud became international it attached an iconic stigma to nigeria , The losers or conned or mugu/maga/maye or the Americanised slang for them suckers, became smarter and were quick to protest if requested to send
funds through WU to nigeria. This was not good for business

and a solution had to be found .Root of the problem was the location of these WU agents .How about setting up WU agents in the UK ?

How about it !

Quickly as this was a matter of money and Nigerians are known to rise to the task immediately if it involved quick cash. Nigerian UK residents initially

made aquaintancers with WU Agents and a deal was struck .Most WU agents were Asian and not privy to the money making 419 empire took percentage cuts in being

recievers of these sums .

After steps 1-6 is over the Agent owner who gets about 5percent of the recived money natuarally becomes the winner in this deal as the volume of transaction

grows exponentially with cash recieved and per se per se infinitum admitum The need for such WU agents to be Nigerians gained ground and thereabouts became mainstream

WU began to grant approvals for WU agents to small businesses like Hairdressers,corner grocery shops etc and the WU agencies slowly shifted to Nigerians and a small stream of Ghanaians within the African
community in the UK

.This began the golden age of western union as business for these dummy WU agents grew so did commisions for WU grow also as it was a double commision transaction for most

deals as they had to be routed through WU in the UK and then through WU to Nigeria (to the original scammers) each leg of this txn accruing a commision payable to WU and the WU agent it self. !

Easy as stealing money from a baby.

But Then WU started to get complaints fron the mugus and magas and not wanting to be the spoilsports decided to investigate and what they found was alarming !

There was indeed serious 419 money laundering going through them !

Reprisal time you would think ? hmmmmmm yes uh uh .. hell no ! some of these Agents with ghost Receivers were pulling in close to a 100,000pounds a day and with WU charging at least 5percent.One of these shops was taking care of area targets !

How can a small barber shop have a footfall of twenty people all day yet you received over a 100,000pounds about 25million naira ! and sent about 60percent of these funds to Nigeria ! and WU does nothing ?

Well no The art of stealing can be elevated to the art of stealing aiding & abetting,error of omission and making it legal according to the laws of the land .WU pays tax to the UK
and this is good money for the Her majestys Revenue and customs. The
british poliuce largely ignores these activities and focus more on the drug
threat and gang violence which is more ruinous to their society as it generates
little or no tax .. If this was not so why do they sit back and watch WU prtner
with scammers.

To keep this credible,WU then went on a public flogging and suspended a few agents over non compliance received through them and then the inverse inquisition began as WU area managers
went around “educating” their
agents on how to detect fraud they were perpetrating ! LOL ! !!!!(laugh out
loud !)

Competition:

Then money transfer became very competitive as more and more people got into the money transfer business and Companies like Fexco another WU derivative and Moneygram became very active in taking a
market share in International Transfer.MG or mama gee as moneygram is known got
into the market and gave licenses to these corner shops in an attempt to beat
WU .MG is American and their Standards and policies are quite strict towards
laundry.

As at 2007 there was a steady crop of American Mugus who preferred to send money via MG as they became wary of WU any Nigerian MG agent therefore had a gold mine sitting in his laps and the MG was reserved for such stubborn mugus.by mid to late 2008 MG
introduced another set of guidelines to check Passports and other ID of individuals and required a photocopy of
the ID sent in for every transaction.Nigerians not to be outdone were more than
ready to make fake ID which cost about 40pounds each. This cost was borne by
the scammer who sent in the the MG Message control number (MTCN) or “control “
as it is called by scammers. Then the big shock came as Mugus began giving
feedback to MG who did a thorough audit of their Agents branches and found that
a good number of them in the peckham,dalston,woolwich,canning town areas were
actively involved in the money laundry of 419 scam proceeds.

MG quickly closed down such shops and instated new controls that required the id cards to be passports and had to be verified first on line via their databases .That was the beginning of the end of MG for the scammers .

Western Unions Reaction

Major compertition out of the way WU re-embarked on their Anti Fraud campaign but this time with a twist as specific Agents were Forewarned of audit and assurance days which contravened the policies of
surprise audit checks by WU audit dept.
A certain Area manager in east london used to

Call the 419 WU agents and warn them when they were coming for audit checks.

Not all money sent via WU to Nigeria is fraudulent but about 85percent of regular funds recived by the same persons is as there are companies who charge even much cheaper than WU and offer the same service. Any
Bank in Nigeria that acts as a WU agent should be wary of the same individuals
who keep coming to recive WU.In most cases they are fraudsters and scammers !

Who are those involved:

It is one thing to be a yahoo yahoo boy in Nigeria but a completely different thing to get the proceeds in nigeria.Lets assume the mugu sends 1000pounds(150,000naira) the Agents take about 5-10percent depending .
There are “control” pimps who act as intermediaries between the yahoo boys in
nigeria and the WU 419agents in england.A lot of these WU agents are Business
centres and Cybercafes owned by respectable nigerians who act as fronts for WU.
They are usually located in busy spots to fool people into thinking they are
doing legit business and another way to detect them is if you want to recive
legit WU money they usually decline as they tend to hold on to cash as much as
possible.But if you want to send money legitimately they are your best friends
as they need the cash to pay off local “control pimps” in the uk.

It is a very intense accounting business.

1.A steady crop of young Nigerian student studying in the UK do this as full time jobs and are liviing very large on the proceeds .Our sources indicate that slowly ladies are being initiated into this new form of Trading in MTCN.In short one of the
target shops a lady came and was enquiring if they do control as she had yahoo
yahoo boys connections in nigeria .

2.There are reports of it being a family business in some locations as audit checks require a complete rewriting of the send and receive forms with different handwriting and signatures and in some cases madam and kids are
called in to the family business as charity begins at home and anyway they are
more trustworthy !

3.A list of individuals and shops trading in london and thriving with pictures and conversations is to be published after this article.Please stay Tuned on 9jabook.com rebraining 9geria !

Yar’adua returns to work next week – Associates – Daily Trust

The on-going scramble for positions in a soon to be reconstituted Federal cabinet could shortly hit a brick wall because President Umaru Yar’adua intends to resume duties in his office next week, a top source close to the ailing president told Daily Trust yesterday. However, another family source separately told Daily Trust that Yar’adua will be fit to resume work by the end of next month.

According to the top sources, Yar’adua intends to make a national radio and television broadcast to signal his resumption of work as early as Monday or Wednesday next week. They said Yar’adua may not write a letter to the National Assembly intimating it of his return because he did not transmit a letter before he proceeded on medical vacation, even though his spokesman later said Yar’adua recognised Dr. Goodluck Jonathan as the Acting President.

Both sources said Yar’adua has made much progress physically since his return to the country late last month, and that his remaining medical problem now is speech-related. The sources said the ailing president now walks around the house and also around the garden, where there are many birds and animals.

They said Yar’adua brought a speech therapist with him from the Saudi Arabian hospital and the doctor has been working since then to improve his speech. Both sources said he has made progress in his speech. One of the sources told Daily Trust that Yar’adua’s return to the country last month was “premature,” and that he was brought back before he finished his therapy “for political reasons.”

Where in the World Is Sandra Bullock?

Warner Bros. Pictures

A month ago, Sandra Bullock was everywhere in the run-up to her big Oscar win.

Funny how quickly things change. The actress, embroiled in a personal drama bigger than any of her movies—i.e., the alleged affar of husband Jesse James with clothes-optional tattoo model Michelle "Bombshell" McGee—hasn't been seen in public since a visit (with James) to Walmart HQ more than a week ago, before her marriage became water-cooler fodder. Since then, she's canceled premieres inLondon and Berlin to promote the European launch of The Blind Side.

We know she's not staying at the home in Seal Beach, Calif., she shared with James, and she doesn't have any films currently in production. So where in the world is Bullock?

Here are some possible places where she could be lying low:

Jos massacre: 164 Face charges

Those arrested in connection with the massacre of women and children in Jos South Local Government Area of Plateau State on March 7, 2010 are in real soup

The police said yesterday that 164 people were arrested over the killings and most of them would be charged with offences ranging from terrorism to arson.Over 500 persons mostly women and children were killed by people suspected to be Fulanis in three villages of Dogo Nahawa, Rasat and Jeji in the local government on March 7, 2010, though the police claimed only 100 people lost their lives.

The police said: “In its resolve to deal decisively with perpetrators of violence in the nation, we have concluded investigation into the mass killings in Dogo Nahawa, Rasat and Jeji villages, which occurred on 7th March 2010.

“In all, 164 suspects were arrested, but two of them will serve as prosecution witnesses.

“Forty-one are to be charged with terrorism and culpable homicide, while 121 face multiple offences of unlawful possession of firearms, rioting, arson and causing grievous hurt.”

Homicide can result in a death sentence, while terrorism is punishable by a life jail term.

After the killings in the villages, another 13 were reportedly killed later at Biye and Betam villages.

The killings were part of a spiralling feud between the Fulani and Berom over land.

The March killings were, however, said to be a reprisal for the killings of more than 300 mainly Muslims in January in Jos North Local Government.

Police said 213 suspects had already been charged with various offences connected to the January violence and are being held in various prisons across the country

New method of Pay ransom collect body tactics

PHOTO:DELTA STATE POLICE COMMISSIONER ALHAJI YAKUBU ALKALI.

As security remains an issue unsolved in the Niger Delta originating from agitations due to a long marginalization of Niger Deltans by the Nigeria government, reports of kidnapping, vandalization of oil facilities and other related criminal activities have continued to dominate national discourse.

it was learnt that two workers of National Petroleum Development Company (NPDC), Benin City, Edo State, Messrs. Danjuma Bashir and Malabu Ahmad, believed to have been kidnapped since March 13, have been found dead in a bush at Mosogar area of Delta State.

Unconfirmed report claimed that an un-identified contractor with the company was also kidnapped last Wednesday and his fate currently hangs in the balance.

Sources say that their remains were found on Saturday morning by a joint search team of Police, State Security Service and workers put in place by Edo State government.

Petroleum and Natural Gas Senior Staff Association (PENGASSAN), the union to which the deceased workers belonged, in a swift reaction, described the kidnap and subsequent murder of the workers as not only shocking, but a renewed act of criminality against oil workers that would not be tolerated.

The victims were said to have left Benin separately for the Delta State University, Abraka but never got there. They were stopped and taken by suspected gunmen who drove heading towards Delta State. Although it could not be ascertained whether they were driven away in their own cars or not, a source, however, lamented that all efforts to trace them proved abortive until they were found dead in the bush over a week later.

Police authorities are investigating but no persons have been arrested.

From Akwa ibom:

The doctor, who was identified as Justin Edet, was said to have been held hostage by his abductors for six days while negotiation went on over the amount that would be paid as ransom.

But Edet's family was shocked to have seen the corpse of their breadwinner by the side of the road, even after they had promised to pay N300,000 as ransom.

An eyewitness revealed that the medical doctor's abductors had demanded N5m as ransom, moments after seizing him.

According to the eyewitness, members of the family, had expressed their inability to provide the huge sum demanded by the kidnappers and only promised to provide N300,000.

"They were about providing the money when they saw the corpse of the man by the roadside. We are still shocked over this development," the eyewitness, who preferred not to be mentioned, said.

Confirming the incident on Sunday, the Commissioner of Police, Akwa Ibom State Command, Mr. Walter Rugbere, said the deceased's wife had explained that the husband was ill before he was abducted.

He pointed out that there was no trace of any gunshot or sign of any injury on the deceased when the police checked Edet's body.

Rugbere said, "We learnt that the body of the late medical doctor was dumped by the roadside somewhere and we did not notice any sign of gunshot or machete cut on the body of the deceased.

"It is surprising. There was also no sign of strangulation. But the wife of the man had already told us he (the deceased) was ill before he was kidnapped. It is quite unfortunate."

He, however, assured that the police would continue with their investigation and apprehend those behind the abduction of the late medical doctor.

Fear grips Lagos residents over acid rain

Niyi Odebode

fear gripped many residents of Lagos on Sunday over a text message warning people against an acid rain between March 20 and 28..

According to the text message, "There is a possibility of acid rain. The dark circle appeared around the moon on March 17 and this was an indication of an acid rain.

"Apparently, this happens once in 750 years. It rains like normal rain, but it may cause skin cancer if you expose yourself to it."

Residents, who received the text message forwarded it to their friends and family members. They advised them to stay indoors whenever it rained on any of the days mentioned in the SMS.

A resident of Yaba, Fidelis Okon, who said that he had received the text message, said that he would not go to work anytime it rained during the week.

According to http://library.thinkquest.org, "The primary causes of acid rain are sulfur dioxide and nitrogen oxides. These chemicals are released by certain industrial processes, and as a result, the more industrialised nations of Europe as well as the United States suffer severely from acid rain."

The online publication, however, stated that sulfur dioxide came from power plants that use it as fuel. It added, "These plants emit 100 million tons of sulfur dioxide. There is 70 per cent of that in the world.

"Automobiles produce about half of the world's nitrogen oxide. As the number of automobiles in use increases, so does the amount of acid rain. Power plants that burn fossil fuels also contribute significantly to nitrogen oxide emission."

It also listed fire, volcanic eruptions, bacterial decomposition as natural causes of acid rain.

When contacted, the Coordinator of the Federal Ministry of Health's Cancer Control Programme, Dr. Patience Osinubi, said that acid rain had not been listed as one of the causes of skin cancer.

She said, "I need more scientific information. I am, however, of the opinion that it may be a slight lowering of the PH (acidity) of atmospheric vapour that is referred to as acid rain. I must tell you that acid rain has never been listed as an etiology for skin cancer."

The United States Environmental Protection Agency explained the health implications of the rain. It said, "Acid rain looks, feels, and tastes just like clean rain. The harm to people from acid rain is not direct. Walking in acid rain, or even swimming in an acid lake, is no more dangerous than walking or swimming in clean water.

In another report:

A Meteorologist has said the hazy weather currently observed around Lagos and some South-western states in the last few days is due to an unusual dust storm from the Sahara desert.

This haziness observed since Saturday, has led to the cancellation of several flights and could also lead to a rise in upper respiratory disease such as catarrh, cold and flu. The meteorologists advised people not to panic as it was normal for such to occur.

The hazy weather stemmed from a mixture of the dust haze blowing from the Sahara Desert through the north eastern part of Nigeria to Lagos and other south western states, explained Modupe Ogunwale, director of Research and Training at the Nigerian Meteorological Agency.

Climate change is here

Coincidentally, the rain which occurred on Friday (March 19) trapped the dust particles, thus causing the humidity, she said.

“This is unusual because this kind of dust storms usually occur around November/December; for it to occur in March means it is part of the climate change we are talking about.” She however said the situation may remain for a couple of more days as another dust storm was recorded in the Sahara on Sunday.

John Babatunde, a medical doctor advised residents to wear clothes that are warm as respiratory diseases are bound to be common at this time. He, especially advised parents to ensure that their wards are well dressed and covered up to prevent flu attacks.

Already Lagosians have been worried about the changing weather and especially about a phenomenon called acid rain. To this effect a text message has been circulating round town that there may be an acid rain between 20-28 March and that people should beware as the rain may cause skin cancer.

Mrs. Ogunwale, however, dispels this fear. “It is not acid rain. It is because of this dust haze that we are having this kind of rain. It is not pure rain because it traps a lot of dust particles and since people collect rain water for drinking and other uses, they are advised not to drink or use this kind of rain.” The United States Environmental Protection Agency, says acid rain occurs when gases such as sulphuric acid and nitric acid react in the atmosphere with water, oxygen, and other chemicals to form various acidic compounds.

After several months of meetings and negotiations between Google and the Chinese government over the accusation that Chinese government hackers had attacked its search engine to retrieve very relevant information from its users and the United States.

The outcome is that Google's China domain, Google.Cn, would now redirect to a new site google.com.hk, a new uncensored site just constructed by Google for its Chinese visitors according to Business Insider.

The new development now means google no longer censors visits and search results done by Chinese visitors. The initial censorship idea from Google, caused disagreement between Google and China. But it's still uncertain if the Chinese government would embrace this new development or out rightly block the new site.

According to Business Insider, Google explained that they tried to "make good of their promise to stop censoring search on Google.cn"

The company said, "We intend to continue R&D work in China and also to maintain a sales presence there, though the size of the sales team will obviously be partially dependent on the ability of mainland Chinese users to access to google.com.hk" also according to Business Insider.

Google says it has been difficult to grant their promise to stop censoring search by Chinese visitors, but also wanted to provide services to as many people around the world, including the Chinese people. Google believes their latest approach is the most sensible a medium to tackle its present disagreement between Google and china.

Speaking moments before the vote, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said the health care reform honoured the nation's traditions.

"We will be joining those who established Social Security, Medicare and now, tonight, healthcare for all Americans," she said, referring to the government's pension program and health insurance for the elderly established nearly 50 years ago.

Although Democrats pushed the measure through with three votes to spare, 34 members joined Republicans in voting against the bill, worried about paying a political price in the November mid-term elections.

In a last-minute move designed to win the support of a bloc of anti-abortion lawmakers, Mr Obama earlier on Sunday announced plans to issue an executive order assuring that healthcare reform will not change the restrictions barring federal money for abortion.

Next steps

The bill's final approval represented a stunning turnaround from January, when it was considered dead after Democrats lost their 60-seaty majority in the Senate, which is required to defeat a filibuster.

To avoid a second Senate vote, the House also approved on Sunday evening a package of reconciliation "fixes" - agreed beforehand between House and Senate Democrats and the White House - amending the bill that senators adopted in December.

Bright Okpocha (Basket Mouth)

Who would have thought that the small boy born in slum of Ajegunle would one day stand on world stage to entertain black and white?

He shares his untold story in a visit to his Lekki home.

Few years ago after you left Benin and came to Lagos, you were a struggling man, what are you doing right now that you were not doing then?

I think I am still doing the same thing. It’s still the same struggle and hustle but you know that there is always a time that it pays-off. You know those who work expect to get paid at the end of the month, so let’s just say all the struggle I was putting into my career paid-off at the end of the day. Although I am still hustling, but maybe in another two or three months it will pay off again. Nothing has changed, I am still hungry. The same hunger I experienced then is still there, and I do all I can no matter what happens to stay hungry.

So it wasn’t as if you were doing something wrong then?

No. It’s the same thing. It’s just that with time some opportunities came along as a matter of time and choice and these were the things that were not available to me back then. I wasn’t doing things wrong then, it was just a case of timing.

If you think back now, how did you pay your dues?

More or less respect and acknowledgements are the things I actually quantify as paying my dues. You know there are sometimes I walk into a company or an organization and the way they relate with me now tend to be different from the way they related with me years back. These are the things I see that make me conclude that I have paid my dues. That money is coming through more now not because I am funnier, but because of the professionalism I have added to my own style and because of the worth of the brand. We have built the brand to the point we can say that this is the value of Basket Mouth. I have been paid my dues in so many ways.

When I walk on the streets of Lagos and people show me love, that is payment for me, going to the bank and I don’t get to queue is payment for me. When I am boarding a flight and for no particular reason, I am being upgraded from business class to first class is payment for me too. So that’s how I derive my own payment. When I look back, I see it all more or less like a journey. I know where I was, where I am now and where I am going to. It’s more or less like growth for me, so when I look back I value more the love people have shown to me than the financial returns.

For those aspiring to stardom, the struggle is tough. Some of them manage to come out of the struggle while others die in it. So for those of you who made it, some people say it was easy, particularly because you only spent some time with Ali Baba and before you knew it you were up there?

Let me just say a part of my life that many people didn’t know. Before I started as a comedian I used to play the drums for a church. It wasn’t really my church. I was being paid as a contract instrumentalist. I was paid N2, 000 per month then. The church was Christ Pentecostal Mission, in Lagos. That was between 1991and 1996. Although I started playing since 1991, I was still in school then and I didn’t use the skill professionally as a means of making money until 1995 when I finished. While I was doing that I was also into rap music. I was a rapper, and we did a series of competitions including the one held at FHA at FESTAC. I can’t remember the name now , but we came third.

As a rap artiste, I did gigs. I did shows at Ife in 2007. I did shows in Ibadan but most people wouldn’t know. A lot of people that saw me perform that day as a rapper may not even remember. All of these are part of the struggle. The reason why I switched to comedy was that we were doing a show in Benin and while we were on stage the crowd started booing us. Apparently they were impatient. So I told my group members to chill because apparently from the beginning I get bad mouth. So as the crowd was insulting us I held the mic and gave it back to them. I yabbed them back. I was on stage for like 15 to 20 minutes throwing yabbs at the crowd and they were laughing. At the end of the day one guy walked up to me ….

You don’t know the guy’s name?

It wasn’t just him, Bayo Adekeye was there also. Bayo was the first person that told me I should go into comedy. He is now in London; eventually he became my manager. Now as a comedian I used to come to Lagos every weekend from Benin. I will enter that 14-14 bus from AP Filling Station in Benin and I will stand from Benin to probably Ijebu-Ode where some people will now come down and that’s when I will sit. Most people don’t know this. But the reason I was doing the trips was because I was coming to Lagos to do gigs on weekends.

Eventually, I met 2face at a show I did in Benin as a rapper. I was the one that promoted the show and he came in to perform. Eventually I did comedy at the show because I had started doing comedy then. 2face saw me and told me he liked my work and that anytime I come to Lagos we should hook up, that there is this show they are doing every last Saturday of the month. Then Lagbaja was featuring on a show every last Friday of the month. Also I met Ali Baba. So apart from the fact that I was coming to Lagos every last weekend of the month, I was coming in every weekend with or without money. By 3am every Saturday I don dey filling station for Lagos because there was no money then.

It cost N100 or N50 to come to Lagos standing. So when I was in Lagos I was doing shows with Teju Baby Face and we were being paid N2000every month and we were going there every Tuesday and Thursday. To resume as early as 7 o’ clock , I had to leave my house like 5.30am in order to beat the traffic. Sometimes, I will take a bike from Ebute Meta down to VI. When we finished we would take a bus down to Ali Baba’s office. Nobody knew this then, but it was a tough struggle. What younger comedians are doing now is not struggling. In my time there were no comedy clubs and there was no platform for comedians to perform. Now AY is doing his show and Gbenga Adeyinka is also doing his show, back then there was nothing like that.

It was only Nite of a thousand laughs and nothing else. To get to Nite of a thousand laughs then you have to do series of auditions and someone has to recommend you. Then it was Ali Baba that recommended me and even after the recommendation I still had to do an audition and amongst the lot I came first. When comedians say Basket Mouth had it easy I say I did not. The reason I came on the platform Nite of a thousand laughs was because I won the audition, I came first and they liked me, so it was my work that paid off for me. 85% of the younger comedians, I mean the new breed are lazy.

I don’t want to mention names, but I was standing with two upcoming comedians and one of them was laughing and told me a joke that the other cracked saying the guy killed the show, and it happened that it was my joke. It was a joke that I had dropped like ten years ago. So I ended the joke for the guy but I did not tell him it was my joke. So these people are lazy and that is why it is a little bit difficult for them because they are not really working.

When Klint the Drunk entered he sky rocketed, when Gordons entered it was the same story, so when you get to a level what works for you is your packaging, how you present yourself. The industry will allow you to come in, but it is whether you will be able to stay there that matters. So your platform, your packaging, and the way you present yourself, the way people love you, your relevance to the industry and the society is what keeps you there. So I suffer well well, if you know how many places I don trek go you would be surprised. I had to trek from railway compound down to UNILAG high rise to meet Tee A. I didn’t see him and I trekked back (laughs)… from high rise to railway compound .

Where is Railway compound?

It’s in Ebute Metta. So you can imagine the long trek. We were supposed to go for a show then and there was no GSM; it was just pagers and I couldn’t afford one. It was a tough struggle.

Why did you leave Benin?

I was done with school and aside that there were more opportunities in Lagos. I was born in Lagos, Ajegunle to be precise and as at the time I finished school, my parents were in Isolo. So when Isolo became too far for me I started staying with a friend of mine at Ebute Metta , because it was close to the Island and Surulere . In fact in the course of the struggle I also stayed with Dare Art Alade. He put me in his crib for a couple of months.

When was that?

2000, 2001. When he was still with Cool FM, I was staying in his apartment.

Not so many people knew you were born in Ajegunle

Yes. I was born in Ajegunle. At least four out of five of us siblings in my family were born in Ajegunle. My late eldest brother was the only one that wasn’t born in Ajegunle. My immediate elder brother Godwin and I were born in Uzo Street in Ajegunle and later we moved to Alafia Street where my two sisters were born. From there, we moved to KiriKiri town. So we be Paco, (laughs)…. But when I say we be Paco that does not mean we weren’t well trained and all that. My Dad was a hardworking man and there was never a time we needed to eat breakfast, lunch or dinner and it wasn’t there. I refer to the Ajebos as those who travel to UK for holidays but we the Pacos will just go visit an uncle and that’s it. So that’s why I refer to us as Paco.

I am sure you have heard it before that all of a sudden when Basket mouth became big he also became proud and doesn’t relate with his friends like he used to. As a matter of fact you hardly even have friends among comedians. You don’t call people to your shows and all that. Is Basket Mouth proud?

No. I personally don’t use the word proud to refer to someone, because if I do, it makes me feel I am intimidated by that person. So those who refer to people as being proud are insecure and probably have low self esteem. I have tried as much as possible to live the life that people want me to live. I cannot tell the number of fans I have out there but I know I have quite a number of fans which I appreciate. Some of them don’t like my dread locks and some of them love it but I cannot just decide to cut my dread locks because some of my fans don’t like it.

I cannot meet the demands of each person. About being proud I would say I am a proud man, I am proud to be who I am, I am proud to be a Nigerian and I have self pride. I am happy not because I am famous but because of whom I am and I have moved. If I move from Iponri to Surulere I cannot still be living in Iponri when I have already moved to Surulere. When I moved, I made new friends and I cannot keep more than 300 friends at the same time. Life is a journey, you meet people every day. So when people say he has dropped his friends it’s not true. I did not drop my friends but you know when you move the demand is higher and the hustle doubles. Gone are the days when I leave a show and then go to the bar to go hang out with my friends.

Now when I leave a show I have to think about how to go take care of my family. I have a son and I have to pay bills, so when I calculate what bill a bottle of champagne will take care of I just relax. So when you are not doing all of these things some of your friends conclude he has left us. The truth is this, you cannot do all these things everyday because it is a waste of time. We live, we grow, we change, and we advance in the way we think. Let me break it down a little more, the guy that is my PA right now I have known him for like twenty years, my manager is in South Africa doing his masters. I have known him for twenty years, my prior manager I have known him for like sixteen years, the other girl that works for me happens to be my cousin and I have known her like all my life.

So all the people that work for me I have known for a minimum of five years. I do not really make new friends. Like I said earlier, it’s like a journey so even when I meet new people they’re more of acquaintances, they don’t kick out my old friends. This is why I try as much as possible to keep my old friends closer. Also, I live in Lekki; when I was in Surulere most of my friends were in Surulere and meeting them was easy, but now I am in Lekki, meeting them cannot be as easy as before. when I want to go to Surulere now, I go at night, think of the traffic, the risk of armed robbery and all sorts so what I do is I tell my friends to come over or I fix an appointment for weekends but you know I work on weekends. So all these instances actually make it a little difficult seeing my friends but I keep them close at heart and I still love every one of them and that’s why I make sure that the people working with me are the ones that know me, my secret is their secret. Those around me are like my brothers. Going back to the issue of pride, if some people refer to me as pompous I like them to know till date I still visit white house to eat amala, I still go to Belgium in Amuwo Odofin.

Last week, I was at Olaiya in Surulere buying Amala. I still go to the local bars to drink. Why? Because these are the places I get my materials from, that is where I grew up, na there I belong. I cannot be thinking of eating amala in all these big places . Who I dey form for?. I still go to Ajegunle once in a while to meet my people. I still go to Benin to see I go die and I hook up with my friends from school but people don’t know this. Coming to my events and the fact that I do not carry other people along, I was the first comedian that started an event, and I did that event not just for myself but to project and promote upcoming comedians and I think I was the first person that did that and the reason I did that was to pay back. Ali Baba did it for me and I think it was only proper and professional for me to pay back, because that was what he told me, that I should make sure I carry people along. I am not into carrying people along by having them come to stay in my house because I love my privacy.

I don’t need to mention the names of at least five known comedians that have stayed with me. I will let them do the mentioning themselves, not because they were homeless but because I wanted them to, I was giving back. When I started Laffs and Jamz I was promoting all sorts. I told them come to the show if you are good but after a while that has to change as change is the only constant thing in life. I had to move from that platform of Laffs and Jamz to normal annual shows. When I did my first annual show it was called Humor unlimited with Basket Mouth. That was in 2004, I featured Ali Baba, Tee A, Okey Bakassi, Basorge, everybody was at that show.

After that event I decided to start doing a one man standup comedy show because I found out that my previous shows were only promoting a comedy event… imagine in an even that was to last for 4hrs I end up performing for like 30 minutes, and when I did my research I found out that it’s just one standup comedian to a show. That was what Chris Rock and the like of him were doing and I needed to go through that route too. Till date what I just do to give back is to give out shows I cannot attend to other comedians. People don’t really know all these things because I don’t go around bragging about it the way some others do.

Do you think this rumor is the result of you not relating well with other comedians?

The thing is this, I have not actually started the journey, I have not actually gotten to where I am aiming for, so when people say I am forming, I say no . I am not a big boy yet, and I have not started forming. I will start forming when I have hosted the Oscars or the Grammys and so on. For now I am still struggling, I am still an upcoming comedian as far as I am concerned. I don’t want to be No 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, I don’t want to win awards I just want to be relevant to the industry. I want my name to be mentioned when people talk about the first 10 comedians in Nigeria and that is the reason I try as much as possible to keep fresh. I am close to each and every one of my colleagues . At least you saw Onyebuchi, in my house recently. I was with Bovi and Buchi so everyday I’m with one comedian or the other.

How about you and Julius Agwu?

People have said a lot about what happened between me and Julius. Julius and I are still friends. Unfortunately, a lot of events have happened that made people believe we are fighting. When he did his wedding ,I was doing my event and I had booked my event three or four months before that time so I didn’t know he was going to have a wedding at that time. When he was doing another show was when I was celebrating my son’s birthday, so all these things clashed and people say, I intentionally fixed those programs on those days but I and Julius are still friends, we talk when we see.

But you know you cannot be too close to everybody because you are hustling, I am on the road. I run an event management company and I have a couple of clients that are very demanding. So aside the fact that I am a comedian I also work as a staff for my company, so I am always busy. Then with other comedians, when we were doing the Glo Lafta thing they were all part of it. We had close to 20 comedians rotating. If I was the kind of comedian that does not carry people along, when that opportunity came I won’t have given it to anybody. I would probably just kill it but you know I carry my people along.

The Chairman said he wants to affect the lives of comedians but I could have discouraged the idea if I didn’t have the interest of others at heart and for me if I have to work with comedians I don’t pick anyone out of sentiments. I pick comedians according to their work. If you can deliver I will use you… if you cannot I won’t. I am that kind of person that calls a spade a shovel. So if there is any comedian I am not using right now, it is either because the client don’t want him or I don’t find the guy funny.

But you have never used Julius?

Yes, because most of the clients that would call me already has his contact address. Julius is my Egbon, he is my senior brother in the industry so if my clients need him they will call him directly.

Is it true that after Ali Baba you are the biggest?

I disagree. Even if I am being labeled the next king after Ali Baba I will take it as a compliment but I cannot say that with my mouth. I appreciate the fact that people see me as such but I know I am not the funniest comedian. I know I am not the most creative. There is Gandoki, Seyi law, Buchi, Bovi, Okey Bakassi (that’s one comedian I learn from), so when people say such things about me I ask what about all these other talented comedians.

There seems to be so much of a business side to some of you now. How true is that?

This thing we do is called Show Biz. There is a business side to it and there is a show or entertainment side to it. Entertainment is business one way or the other if you look at it and we as entertainers do not have any retirement benefit so more often than not we always build up our own retirement benefit. Because of this, we diversify into so many businesses which is the right thing for someone who is having little change here and there to do, because it can’t always be rosy so you have to invest. Even if you study rich men, you will find out that they have hands in so many other things and there is no law that says comedians cannot also do the same. We also do this because of the family.

You know one cannot always be funny, our voice cannot always be sweet, you will always have your time and I have learnt from a lot of people and a lot of my colleagues who were so prominent in the media and after a while their names just disappeared. That doesn’t make them poor, it’s just that it would have cut down their income as comedians, so if any of them had invested earlier it won’t affect them. That is why we learn from the older ones. For example Tee A is one of the most businesse minded artistes I have seen, but I don’t like diversifying into what I am not in love with.

Tell me about your event company. I learnt it is thriving as well?

I told you earlier that when I was in school I used to package events, but then there was no company name. We were just more or less like show promoters, myself and Bayo Adekeye. We meet the rich kids in school and tell them to invest N100, 000 and get back N130,000. So when we get the money we do the investment and give them back their money and then we have our profit. That was what we were doing for a long time. In the course of that I learnt a lot and when I settled down as a comedian, the love for packaging events was still there.

Regarding the events I have done, I am the one that built up the concept, the publicity, venue and every other thing. So at a point in time I felt it was high time I made it professional because a lot of people pay companies to do what I do so I decided to start providing content that was when I formed Baron World Entertainment. We are not into décor and all that. What we do is we provide content, we give you what is going to happen on the stage, you don’t have to bother about artistes or venue. All you do is just come to the event and focus your attention on the stage. For example if it’s an award program, we work with your award plans and then input entertainment. We are trying to also get into wedding planning.

We also promote artistes but we have not gone professional with that one yet. We intend to promote known artistes and upcoming ones too. I am already discussing with Eldee de Don, and some other upcoming artistes but we are still trying to get a good financial base and get the company stronger before we carry that much load but at Baron World Entertainment we are more into content provision.

Who are the clients you have had?

We have had Multilinks, Sahara and some names I cannot mention because of the brand I represent but mainly my major clients are Virgin Atlantic and Guarantee Trust Bank.

I read somewhere that GLO paid Basket Mouth N40m as an ambassador, is that true?

They paid me some money, and I cannot disclose the exact figure but it was good enough to make me happy.

What role did Ali Baba play in your life?

Ali Baba played all the roles I needed as an upcoming comedian at a point that I met him. Ali was a friend, a colleague, a brother, a teacher, he was the one that actually made me start tilting towards anchoring events . Before I was just a plain standup comedian… I just go on stage and I was really into jokes . Ali Baba was the one that made me start creating materials and doing more story telling because I have stories. So he was like look, stop cracking jokes start telling stories because that was my strength.

Ali Baba cracked jokes but at a level he said you know what, you tell stories, talk about life, you’ve been through all these things and that’s your style. So I said okay, and fed on all that I had in my head and he guided me and I would say I owe it to a lot of people.I can’t start mentioning their names now but Ali Baba was the first person. The only reason why I always say I owe everything to this man is that he was the first person that brought me in without any sense if insecurity. He was always saying this boy is hot….

Where did you meet him?

We met at Benin. When he came to do a show, I went as a fan to watch him perform and I went back stage to greet him. The next time we met I was practicing comedy and when I finished he actually stood up to give me a standing ovation and that was the opportunity. So I went to meet him afterwards and we hit it off from that point and since that point he’s been very supportive.

You worked for him as a P.A?

Yeah I worked for him as a P.A. (laughs) but it’s unofficial. I worked with him for like two years and while I was his P.A I was like a dummy …like if he has two events he would say “Bright come in and perform. I have another event stand him for me”, he would go and come back. I was always like one of the guys that stay to guide the event. He was training me at that point because at that time I never thought I would be able to stand before dignitaries to hold a microphone.

At that point he liked me so it was never a problem for him to leave a venue and come back only for people at the event to be shouting at him or talking to him recklessly. They won’t even know he left for somewhere else when he comes back. If anyone asks, I just say bros go ease himself, he dey come back, so you do this and you do that and that was actually what he was doing. So he introduced me to most of his clients. That was why the growth was faster. So apart from just being his P.A I was always going to every event and he was always giving me opportunities to perform for top people and that was how the name spread a little bit faster than it would have . If I had not met Ali Baba, I might still be here at the level I am right now or the growth may be slower, who knows, but he was one of the people that kick - started me.

We heard your colleagues were not at your father’s burial, what happened?

Not all of them. I go die , Don Jazzy , Gandoki, I go save, Sim Card, and Buchi came . But Gandoki, Sim card and I go save were actually on their way. They thought it was going to be an all night thing not knowing it was a day thing, so we met on the way and we slept in Owerri. Some of them couldn’t come because they had an event, some didn’t come because they didn’t feel like it because coming to my village is quite a long journey.

I understand if anybody said look I can’t come I won’t be able to make it and aside that they didn’t come because they felt that in the past I have not really be present at their own event which I understand . So I don’t hold any grudge against anybody. The reason why you hardly see me around during events organized by my colleagues or friends is because I’m extremely busy. If I can’t make it, I’ll tell you friend I can’t make it but most people don’t understand.

Did you invite all of them?

I invited all of them. Some of them didn’t tell me they won’t come and some of them after the event didn’t even call to say how did it go and I was like is this a sign to let me know that guy “we are angry at you or whatever”. But I don’t think so, because I have been at most of their events …wedding, birthdays whatever. That shouldn’t be the reason it has to be something else .Whatever their reasons I don’t want to know. I’m not going to hold any grudges against anybody.

But didn’t you feel bad?

I felt bad , because when I celebrated my son’s 1st birthday everybody came.All my comedian colleagues were there and when I was now celebrating death most of them didn’t come and I was like are we fair weather friends or are we friends for real? So that was the only thing that made me feel bad.

Have you been able to get to any of them?

I got to a few of them. Those that I really hold dear to me… I told them guys I don’t like what you did… you should have called me. Most of them I let go because it’s fine. It’s just that I’m that kind of person…. if I invite you to come eat and celebrate with me and you come, and I later invite you to come feel the pain that I’m facing right now and you don’t come I will find it hard to invite you to come and eat with me again. So just in case I don’t invite some people to my wedding they will probably understand.

So let’s come to this your son, how old is he now?

My son is going to be two years in May.

When are you getting married?

I’m thinking of getting married this year. My younger sister is getting married this year; so I’m trying to give a little bit of space because it will consume a lot of money. Regarding my wedding we’re trying as much as possible to make it very small and at the same time very loud and so I don’t want to rush, but definitely I’m getting married this year.

You want to get married to the mother of your son… is it as a result of necessity or as a result of love?

Love really. I’ve known her for like six years and apart from the fact that she’s the mother of my son we are also friends and it’s easier to live a happily married life with someone that understands you and someone that you really have a good communication with. Mainly I’m not particular about love itself .I’m particular about communication, friendship, and understanding which is what we have. I can’t start a new relationship dealing with anybody else.

The Lord of the Ribs is a new show replacing Basket Mouth Uncensored. Before you talk of the one that will take place in Nigeria let’s talk about the one that took place in U.K. The show attracted a lot of accolades. What did you do right and how do you feel?

Okay I didn’t know that it was going to be another sell-out by a black comedian in the UK. Eddie Kaddie was my M.C. What we did right was actually the publicity. The publicity was elaborate and the venue was extremely perfect we couldn’t have made a better choice. There was something about the 02. The biggest concert has been held at the 02. So we were like okay, we’re going to do this because I didn’t want to get into a mini show in London and just pick one cheap venue.

The show is not registered, there is no work permit, I am performing and scared of immigration, you know all that. So we went through the right sources and we applied for work permit, paid tax, insured the show, did everything right and because of what we did there was no limitation to the amount of publicity that we were going to do. Talking about how it became a success, I think apart from the fact that it was well publicized, what we are selling was worth it. A lot of people came there to watch me perform and I gave them what they came for. I tried my best to make sure that they got what they wanted. And it was a good show … it was extremely good, it wasn’t just directed to us Nigerians, there were Ghanaians, South Africans, Zimbabweans even the British people we had a couple of them there. I’m still hoping that I will still repeat that event there because it was something I never thought could happen and after this one I might do one next year .

I don’t know yet but there was no other way to start because I stopped doing Basket mouth uncensored last year and I wanted to bring up a new brand which was the Lord of the Ribs and there was no other way to start Lord of the Ribs than to start the way it started. The platform we used, the crowd and all that would make the next edition which is in Lagos easier to achieve. I’m also bringing in some comedians from U.K to join me. They all said the show was great thanks to all the people that came…

What should we expect from the Lord of the Rib in Nigeria?

Lord of the Rib in Nigeria will be featuring two U.K comedians and one South African comedian. One of the U.K comedians is white and he speaks Pigin English and Yoruba. He’s extremely funny. His name is Kevin J and he’s one of the biggest comedians in the U.K right now. The other comedian, Eddy Carle is a Congolese but he’s also British. He was actually at the show at the Old 02 arena the one with the 20,000 seating capacity. The C.Ds will be sold out because since September the thing is almost half gone. The comedian from South Africa, David Cow is extremely good also.

He is black and he’s one of the biggest comedians in South Africa. I’ll also be featuring two or three comedians from Nigeria like Bovi, Buchi, and I go die. I won’t be able to feature more Nigerian comedians because there would be no time but I’m also trying to build a platform, a new show that will give other comedians an opportunity to also be on stage but right for Lord of the Rib in Lagos we are trying as much as possible to make it extremely different because I’m not going to be the only comedian. We are trying to make it as big as possible using the new venue at the new Expo Center that has 25,000 seating capacity and we are looking at making it a little bit affordable unlike my previous shows that tilted towardsN5000, and N10,000.

This one is going to be a little bit cheaper but definitely we intend to make it one of the biggest comedy events ever in the history of comedy in Nigeria. That’s my plan. I intend to do it to the point where even the foreigners too will be part of it.

When will it take place?

We are looking at June. I heard that there are a couple of events in May so I’m looking at June and July but it won’t go beyond the summer because a lot of the people will be traveling. So it will be right before summer.

Will it be cheaper than N5, 000?

Yes, it might be. We are still looking at it. N5, 000

Give us a bit of yourself what did you do in school?

I attended UNIBEN . I studied sociology and I left in 2001. I didn’t do a BSc degree. I did two diplomas, in sociology and anthropology and also sociology on its own. I was supposed to do my direct entry and go further. I just felt the one I had already don do, make I face comedy which is my talent. For me it’s not about the certificate but it’s about the talent. I definitely don’t see myself using my certificate to work. I cannot do the 9am – 5pm thing except I’m going to my own company. I started professional comedy in 2000 so I’m supposed to be celebrating my ten years on stage but I don’t believe in all these celebrations because I feel like I’ve not really done anything. So I’ll probably wait till I am twenty years old on stage and by then I’ll probably be in my early forties so I will still be young in the industry.

What would you say of other comedians that copy other people’s jokes …. have you ever copied other people’s jokes?

I have not copied other people’s jokes but I have copied their subject matters. So when people talk about something and I like it, I’ll elaborate on it. So it’s all about ideas. You pick an idea on someone else’s jokes. It’s natural . I’ve used Ali Baba’s joke before not because I ran out of jokes but because I liked it. I told him bros this joke I am seizing it; it’s no more your joke. When it comes to copying other people’s jokes, some comedians do so due to laziness. It is also an act of disrespect for the originators because these people go through a lot in getting a good joke and someone from nowhere comes up and uses the joke.

Who are your top five upcoming comedians?

I won’t call them upcoming comedians. I’ll call them young comedians and they can’t be five. I’ll have to mention ten. I like Seyi law, D Don, Mr Patrick, Buchi, I like Bovy a whole lot because his style is actually like mine and the same thing with Buchi.He is very, very spontaneous I like both of them. I can take both of them out of the whole lot and if I say I want to choose my first two I will choose them. I don’t want to mention names because they may feel bad if I don’t mention their names . There are other comedians like Ele nu, Mc Shakara, then the lecturals. I admire their work , because they have it in them although I can’t really remember all their names.

Let’s come to your own class, your top five biggest comedians?

Hmmm number one is Oke bakasi, I go die, Gandoki, Ali Baba and Basorge

Okay who are the five worse comedians?

I can’t say that … I can’t say that, I’m sorry