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love is giving sme1 d power to break your heart but trusting them not to

Posted by ogunsanya akinbosola on February 24, 2009 at 10:25pm

love is giving sme1 d power to break your heart but trusting them not to

My pals Blog P

Posted by Don Cray on February 22, 2009 at 10:30pm

How una dey 9ja peoples!!!.

i am so psyched

Posted by angie cepeda on February 21, 2009 at 3:41am

i love dreaming of things that can happen or that would happen but good ones thoughmy favourite words are init(love that word),you reckon,whats the shit!!!am a girl whose very ambitious and believes in herselfonce i my life time i played volleyball and i woni love being lovedbut one thingi hate gossipsso do me one favour love me!!!!and i will love you too...

Get Free Hi5 Glitters

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR BOSS

Posted by Dare Ayodele on February 20, 2009 at 5:56pm

1 When you take a long time, you're slow.When your boss takes a long time, he's thorough.2 When you don't do it, you're lazy.When your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy.3 When you make a mistake, you're an idiot.When your boss makes a mistake, he's only human.4 When doing something without being told, you're overstepping your authority.When your boss does the same thing, that's initiative.5 When you take a stand, you're being pig-headed.When your boss does it, he's being firm.6 When you overlooked a rule of ettiquette, you're being rude.When your boss skips a few rules, he's being original.7 When you please your boss, you're arse-creeping.When your boss pleases his boss, he's being co-operative.8 When you're out of the office, you're wandering around.When your boss is out of the office, he's on business.9 When you're on a day off sick, you're always sick.When your boss has a day off sick, he must be very ill.10When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview.When your boss applies for leave, it's because he's overworked

What do you think of yourself ?

Posted by Dare Ayodele on February 20, 2009 at 4:55pm

What you think of yourself is reflectedin the way you treat others.A very effective way to raise your own level of confidenceis by acting positively toward the people around you.Rudeness toward others, whether intentional or not,is a sure sign of a lack of confidence.When you have no respect or consideration for others,it's difficult to have much confidence in yourself.Ironically,one of the worst things you can do for yourselfis to think only of yourself.The more genuine respect, consideration andcourtesy you express toward those around you,the more your own confidence will grow.If someone is rude to you,make every effort to be sincerely pleasantand courteous in return.Just because someone else is allowing rudenessto drain away their own energy,doesn't mean you must do the same.Have the confidence to be courteous,and the confidence to act with genuinerespect toward others.Your positive attitude and positive actions willenergy

WHAT'S FOR DINNER?

Posted by DONHADLEY GIRLAND {WEBYARNER} on February 20, 2009 at 1:20pm

A concerned husband goes to see the family doctor and says, "I think my wife is deaf because she never hears me the first time I say something, in fact, I often have to repeat things over and over again.""Well," the doctor replies, "go home and tonight and stand about 15 feet from her and say something. If she doesn't reply, move about five feet closer and say it again. Keep doing this so we can get an idea about the severity of her deafness."Sure enough, the husband goes home and does exactly as instructed. He starts off about 15 feet from his wife in the kitchen and as she is chopping some vegetables, he says, "Honey, what's for dinner?"He gets no response. He moves about five feet closer and asks again. No reply. He moves five feet closer. Still no reply. He gets fed up and moves right behind her, about an inch away, and asks again, "Honey, what's for dinner?"She replies, "For the fourth time, vegetable stew!"

MEDICAL MIRACLES

Posted by DONHADLEY GIRLAND {WEBYARNER} on February 20, 2009 at 1:16pm

A Japanese man was boasting about how his country had such advanced medical technology. He said, "We take the lungs out of a man, perform an operation, put the lungs back in, and in 4 weeks, the man is looking for work."An Englishman said, "We are far more advanced than you. We can take the heart out of a man, perform surgery and have him ready for work in just 3 weeks."The Irishman says, "That's nothing; we can take a kidney out of a man, put into another man's body and have them looking for work in 2 weeks."The American says, "Well hell, that's nothin'. We had an idiot taken out of Texas, put in the Whitehouse and now half the country is lookin' for work!"

THE HEART OF THE MATTER

Posted by DONHADLEY GIRLAND {WEBYARNER} on February 20, 2009 at 1:12pm

A man who was having heart trouble went to the doctor to see what his options were. Naturally, the doctor recommended a heart transplant. The man reluctantly agreed, and asked if there were any hearts immediately available, considering that money was no object."I do have three hearts," said the doctor. "The first is from an 18-year old kid, non-smoker, athletic, swimmer, with a great diet. He hit his head on the swimming pool and died. It's $100,000. The second is from a marathon runner, 25 years old, great condition, very strong. He got hit by a bus. It's $150,000. The third is from a heavy drinker, cigar smoker, steak lover. It's $500,000.""Hey, why is that heart so expensive? He lived a terrible life!""Yes, but it's from a laywer. It's never been used."

BILL GATES IN HELL

Posted by DONHADLEY GIRLAND {WEBYARNER} on February 20, 2009 at 11:25am

Upon dying, Bill Gates went to purgatory.St. Peter said to his, “Now Bill, you have done some good things, and you have done some bad things. Now I am going to let you decide where you want to go".So, Bill takes a look at hell and see's these beautiful women running around, in 80 degree temperature, on beautiful beaches.Then he took a look at heaven and it was nice, you know harps and singing and worship and stuff like that.So he said to St. Peter that he would like to go to hell.About a week later, St. Peter went down to hell to check on Bill. There he saw him, being whipped by demons.He said to St. Peter, “What happened to all the beautifull women, and the beaches and the 80 degree temperature?”Peter replied, “That was just the screen saver"

ROSTER IN HIS DECLINING YEARS

Posted by DONHADLEY GIRLAND {WEBYARNER} on February 20, 2009 at 11:08am

An old farmer decided it was time to get a new rooster for his hens. The current rooster was still doing an okay job, but he was getting on in years and the farmer figured getting a new rooster couldn't hurt. So he buys a new cock from the local rooster emporium, and turns him loose in the barnyard. Well, the old rooster sees the young one strutting around and he's a little worried about being replaced. He walks up to the new bird."So you're the new stud in town? I bet you really think you're hot stuff don't you? Well I'm not ready for the chopping block yet. I'll bet I'm still the better bird. And to prove it, I challenge you to a race around that hen house over there. We'll run around it ten times and whoever finishes first gets to have all the hens for himself."Well, the young rooster was a proud sort, and he definitely thought he was more than a match for the old guy."You're on," he said, "and since I'm so great, I'll even give you a head start of half a lap. I'll still win easy!"So the two roosters go over to the henhouse to start the race with all the hens gathering to watch. The race begins and all the hens start cheering the old rooster on. After the first lap, the old rooster is still maintaining his lead.After the second lap, the old guy's lead has slipped a little -- but he's still hanging in there. Unfortunately, the old rooster's lead continues to slip each time around, and by the fifth lap he's just barely in front of the young fella. By now the farmer has heard the commotion. He runs into the house, gets his shotgun and runs into the barnyard figuring a fox or something is after his chickens. When he gets there, he sees the two roosters running around the henhouse, with the old rooster still slightly in the lead. He immediately takes his shotgun, aims, fires, and blows the young rooster away."Damn. That's the third gay rooster I've bought this month."

erm.......randomness

Posted by jennifer rittner on February 20, 2009 at 11:02am

Get Free Hi5 Glitters
wanna hit me i don't think you should lol!!!!it's just outta boredomno doubtI'm just like wo!!am a teenagerwanna know mewell i don't think soCHECK THIS OUT PEEPZ, BARE JOKES!Money and looks aren't everything.... But itâ€™s all I got!*I wanted to kill the sexiest person alive then I realized....Ohh ya! Suicides a crime!Don't be a guy; the world is full of guys. Be a man.Basically don't stress me, u can't impress me.Roses are red violets are blue,sugar is sweet and so are you.But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,the sugar bowls empty and so is your head.My door is always open, so feel free to leave !You laugh because I'm different I laugh because you're all the same.ALL THESE ARE ~~~~****BITCHY QUOTES~~~~****

WAYS TO TELL A REDNECK IS ON YOUR COMPUTER

Posted by DONHADLEY GIRLAND {WEBYARNER} on February 20, 2009 at 10:55am

1. The mouse is referred to as a "critter."2. The keyboard is camouflaged.3. There is a skoal can in the CD-ROM drive.4. The password is, "bubba."5. The numeric keypad only goes up to six.6. "Winders 95" has a Dale Earnhardt sticker on it.7. Outgoing faxes have beerstains on them.8. The printer goes really slow since Bubba don't read too fast.9. The extra RAM slots have Dodge truck parts installed in them.10. The menus all have Budweiser, Black Label, and Old Milwaukee options.11. Jeff Foxworthy *.wavs.12. The monitor is up on blocks.13. Seven blue tick hounds under the desk.14. Deer jerky in the desk drawer.15. The screen saver consists of pictures of Ned Beatty with Dueling Banjos playing in the background.16. The six front keys have rotted out.17. John Deere Pocket Protectors.

Contemporary Nigerian Cuisine

Posted by Funke on February 20, 2009 at 7:46am

Funke Koleosho's Contemporary Nigerian Cuisine cookbook now available on Amazon Online Booksellers.http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0956148808Order your copy now.

bitch!!!

Posted by jennifer rittner on February 19, 2009 at 11:10am

Get Free Hi5 Glitters
none of you bitches can stop my flow because i trust no nigga and fear no hoe i remain cute and sexy without doubt no matter what am wildin' about i just keep 'em saying ooh please can i give it to you

Get Free Hi5 Glitters

The Anger of A Writer

Posted by Public Sweetheart on February 19, 2009 at 5:54am

But you think I am too scared to talkCan I borrow your voice to speak my words?And if you think that would not reach,Can I borrow your legs to trek to Czech?If that would be too painfulCan you give me wings to fly the sky?But then you think I am too dullCan I borrow your charm to toast the girls?And if you think I am too weakCan I borrow your strength to win the race?And for those who think I am just hideousCan I borrow your beauty just for a while?Of course you think I am a cowardHave you a hammer? Show me the nail.And if you think I cannot strikeWill you stand in for a guinea pig?And now you say I am just poorHow much can you lend that I’ll live upon?Can you borrow me some food,Water,Salt,Rice?Can you just borrow me your life, Fool?Well, let all man be themselves!

Stunned By Some Funny Names?

Posted by Public Sweetheart on February 19, 2009 at 5:46am

We just finished cooking Rice when Condolesa came inShe asked after George but we said he was in the Bush.She went so mad seeing Nicholas locked in the CageBut we made her understand that a vicious Tiger lurks in the Wood.

blah blah all about myself

Posted by jennifer rittner on February 18, 2009 at 10:30pm

am a cute girl erm.... dunno wat 2 say lets enjoy more of memy laptop trez importantmy lip gloss my heromy room my privacymy popsy and mumsy ma padiez cant live without 'emi love looking for troublefrom caleb international school lekki full of 'em razz dudezloves chocolatebrushes down golden brown and blackdo not disrespect merespect mei miss my sisteri want chicken jovery nice but sometimes meanook you are the sugar in ma cocothe butter in my breadthe roach in ma cupboard

WHY COFFEE IS BETTER THAN WOMEN

Posted by DONHADLEY GIRLAND {WEBYARNER} on February 17, 2009 at 3:01pm

You don't have to put cream in your coffee to make it taste good.Coffee doesn't complain when you put whipped cream in it.A cup of coffee looks good in the morning.You won't fall asleep after a cup of coffee.You can always warm coffee up.Coffee comes with endless refills.Coffee is cheaper.You won't get arrested for ordering coffee at 3 AM.Coffee never runs out.Coffee is out of your system by tomorrow morning.You can make coffee as sweet as you want.You can smoke while drinking coffee.You can put out a cigarette in a cup of coffee.Coffee smells and tastes good.You don't have to put vinegar in your coffee.If your coffee pot leaks, you can use a regular paper towel.You can always get fresh coffee.You can turn the pot on, leave the room, and it'll be hot when you get back.They sell coffee at police stations.You can always ditch a bad cup of coffee.Coffee goes down easier.If you put chocolate in your coffee, it doesn't put on weight.No matter how ugly you are, you can always get a cup of coffee.A big cup or small cup? It doesn't matter.Your coffee doesn't talk to you.Coffee smells good in the morning.Coffee is good when it's cold too.Coffee stains are easier to remove.Coffee doesn't care when you dunk things in it.Coffee doesn't care what kind of mood you're in.Coffee doesn't shed.Coffee is ready in 15 minutes or less.You can't get a cup of coffee pregnant by putting cream in it.Coffee doesn't mind being ground.No matter how bad coffee is, you can always make it better.Coffee doesn't have a time of the month... it's good all the time.When coffee gets old, you can throw it away.When you have a coffee, you don't end up with a pube in the back of your throat.Coffee doesn't take up half your bed.Coffee doesn't mind if you wake up at 3 AM and decide to have a cup.INSTANT COFFEE!You can have an intelligent conversation with coffee.It can take up to 2 weeks for coffee to grow mold.Your coffee won't be jealous of a larger cup.

SOLITARY CONFINEMENT WOES

Posted by DONHADLEY GIRLAND {WEBYARNER} on February 17, 2009 at 1:18pm

Three guys are convicted of a very serious crime, and they're all sentenced to twenty years in solitary confinement.They're each allowed one thing to bring into the cell with them. The first guy asks for a big stack of books. The second guy asks for his wife. And the third guy asks for two hundred cartons of cigarettes.At the end of the twenty years, they open up the first guy's cell. He comes out and says, "I studied so hard. I'm so bright now, I could be a lawyer. It was terrific."They open up the second guy's door. He comes out with his wife, and they've got five new kids. He says. "It was the greatest thing of my life. My wife and I have never been so close. I have a beautiful new family. I love it."They open up the third guy's door, and he's slapping at his pockets, going "Anybody got a match?"

WHY AM SO TIRED

Posted by DONHADLEY GIRLAND {WEBYARNER} on February 17, 2009 at 11:13am

For a couple years I've been blaming it on iron poor blood, lack of vitamins, dieting and a dozen other maladies. Now I found out the real reason. I'm tired because I'm overworked.The population of this country is 237 million. 104 million are retired. That leaves 133 million to do the work.There are 85 million in school, which leave 48 million to do the work.Of this, there are 29 million employed by the federal government.This leaves 19 million to do the work.Four million are in the Armed Forces, which leaves 15 million to do the work.Take from the total the 14,800,000 people who work for State and City Government and that leaves 200,000 to do the work.There are 188,000 in hospitals, so that leaves 12,000 to do the work.Now, there are 11,998 people in Prisons. That leaves just two people to do the work.You and me . . . and you're sitting there chating on 9jabook.

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Note: this page contains paid content.

Note: this page contains paid content.