Deep In the back woods of Tennessee, a hillbilly's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, "Here. You hold this high so I can see what I amdoing." Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world.Whoa there, said the doctor, "Don't be in such a rush to put that lantern down. I think there's another one coming." Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a baby girl. "Hold that lantern up, don't set it down there's another one!" said the doctor.Within a few minutes he had delivered a third baby."No, don't be in a hurry to put down that lantern, it seems there's yet another one coming!" cried the doctor.The redneck scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor, "You reckon it might be the light that's attractin' 'em?
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It might seem that to figure out how to catch a cheating husband one would need the equipment and [man]power of the team on the creepy TV series called Cheaters. Or, one might overestimate the cost or amount of expertise (and preceding study) of a private eye to learn how to catch a cheating husband. But as everyone from the writers of Cosmo articles to individuals who have done the dirty job themselves will tell you, there are relatively manageable strategies to use to discern the truth about your mate.Evidently, cheaters are "easy" to catch, for they leave clues. Your job of determining how to catch a cheating husband, then, is a fairly easy one, provided you1) STAY CALM, and2) GATHER ALL "PROOF" FIRST...BEFORE YOU ACCUSE or IMPUGN. Here are a list of sample clues/pieces of evidence:Phone bills/cell phone bills (even more so if your husband HIDES the bills, or snatches them from the mailbox before you get to see them).New purchases (especially underwear, cologne, or even jewelry or items for gifts for a woman that is not you). That is, if he is a slob and has been for twenty years, and all of a sudden is wearing new undies, is shaving regularly, etc., take note. He might be hinting to you for ways on how to catch a cheating husband (whether he intends for you to catch him or not).Passwords, keys, and other private entry items that used to be shared between the two of you. If you suddenly cannot access his internet activities or email, or if he takes away keys to strong boxes, sheds, cars, or other places you always were privy to, something’s up. A major strategy for how to catch a cheating husband? Try this if it involves passwords on your community pc:[He may THINK he can delete evidence by erasing history and all that. You can go into the bowels of the pc and find his snail trail. But you can also get his passwords—IF he is not as computer-savvy as he thinks he is.]Go online.At the top of the page is what is called the MENU BAR.Click on TOOLS.Then click on OPTIONS.Then click on PASSWORDS.Finally, click on VIEW SAVED PASSWORDS.There you will find a list of both the urls (the www. Or http sites he visits) and the passwords, which are automatically saved unless someone really up on this stuff has fixed the pc to NOT save passwords.In addition, many experts or specialists give advice on how to catch a cheating husband which include1) keeping a written record/diary of his behavior/activities, to see if there is a pattern; 2) checking for receipts; 3) making note of times the phone rings and the calls are hang-ups; 4) checking the mileage on the car; 5) showing up at his workplace; and 6) being unpredictable yourself (returning hime when he thinks you are gone for the weekend, etc.).Remember, though, to keep your wits about you until you have ample proof, and try not turn into a stalker yourself!Thanks 4 reading!! NAME is DON B..............B
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As a private investigator, a lot of people ask me how to find out if their wife is cheating on them. I tell them this – it requires three things: intelligence, dedication, and patience. Before you start to think about how to catch a cheating wife, the intelligence should kick in. Why do you think that your wife is cheating? Has she began to come home later than she said she would? Do you often smell the cologne of another man on her? Have you seen suspicious emails on her computer? It is possible that you are just being paranoid, and that there is no real evidence that your wife is cheating at all. In that case, you shouldn't be asking how to catch a cheating wife, but rather, how to get some psychiatric help.But, let's assume that you do have some reason to believe that your wife is cheating on you. What do you do next? Well, if you confront her, chances are that she will only deny it. The best thing to do is to start gathering evidence. Every expert on how to catch a cheating wife agrees that the more evidence you have, the more successfully you can deal with her infidelity. Fortunately, technology as always is there to provide a solution.To begin with, get a good book on how to catch a cheating wife. It will tell you everything that you need to know about all of the high tech gear available nowadays. I would recommend beginning by installing hidden surveillance cameras in the house. Many of these cameras are very small, and can be installed in a matter of minutes, allowing you to easily put them around the house while she is out getting groceries. Most of the how to catch a cheating wife books agree that this is usually enough, but if you still get no evidence, there are other things that you can do. You can put a password snooper on your computer, and use her password to log into and read her email. You can even go one step farther. It is possible for you to get a GPS tracker for her car. When this is installed, it will tell you everywhere that she goes, making it a cinch to figure out where exactly she is having her affair. Of course, now that you know how to catch a cheating wife you have to ask yourself another question; if she is cheating, do you really want to know?Thanks the Name is DON B.............B
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As a private investigator, a lot of people ask me how to find out if their wife is cheating on them. I tell them this – it requires three things: intelligence, dedication, and patience. Before you start to think about how to catch a cheating wife, the intelligence should kick in. Why do you think that your wife is cheating? Has she began to come home later than she said she would? Do you often smell the cologne of another man on her? Have you seen suspicious emails on her computer? It is possible that you are just being paranoid, and that there is no real evidence that your wife is cheating at all. In that case, you shouldn't be asking how to catch a cheating wife, but rather, how to get some psychiatric help.But, let's assume that you do have some reason to believe that your wife is cheating on you. What do you do next? Well, if you confront her, chances are that she will only deny it. The best thing to do is to start gathering evidence. Every expert on how to catch a cheating wife agrees that the more evidence you have, the more successfully you can deal with her infidelity. Fortunately, technology as always is there to provide a solution.To begin with, get a good book on how to catch a cheating wife. It will tell you everything that you need to know about all of the high tech gear available nowadays. I would recommend beginning by installing hidden surveillance cameras in the house. Many of these cameras are very small, and can be installed in a matter of minutes, allowing you to easily put them around the house while she is out getting groceries. Most of the how to catch a cheating wife books agree that this is usually enough, but if you still get no evidence, there are other things that you can do. You can put a password snooper on your computer, and use her password to log into and read her email. You can even go one step farther. It is possible for you to get a GPS tracker for her car. When this is installed, it will tell you everywhere that she goes, making it a cinch to figure out where exactly she is having her affair. Of course, now that you know how to catch a cheating wife you have to ask yourself another question; if she is cheating, do you really want to know?THANKS The Name is DON B
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I know all the ladies will love this…............ ......... .Never try to outsmart a woman!There was a man who had worked all his life, had saved all of his money and was a real miser when it came to his money.Just before he died he said to his wife, "When I die. I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me.I want to take my money to the afterlife with me."And so he got his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he died, she would put all of the money in the casket with him.Well, he died. He was stretched out in the casket; his wife was sitting there in black and her friend was sitting next to her.When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, "Wait just a minute!", She had a box with her; she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down, and the rolled it away.So her friend said, "Girl, I know you weren't fool enough to put all that money in there with your husband."The loyal wife replied, "Listen, I'm a Christian, I can't go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him.""You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!!!!? "I sure did" said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my account and wrote him a cheque. If he can cash it, he can spend it."*_Women Are Smarter Than Men_*Due to inherit a fortune when his sickly, widower father died, Charles decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with.Going to a singles' bar, he spotted a woman whose beauty took his breath away."I'm just an ordinary man," he said, walking up to her, "but in just a week or two, my father will die and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."The woman went home with Charles, and the next day she became his stepmother!*_Understanding Women (A Man's Perspective) _*I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.*_Wife Vs Husband_*A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted toconcede their position.As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?""Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."*_Words_*A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...30,000 to a man's 15,000.The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men.The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"*_Stupid And Beautiful_*A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time."The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!*_The Beast_*Husband and wife were in the midst of a violent quarrel, and hubby was losing his temper."Be careful," he said to his wife. "You will bring out the beast in me."So what?" his wife shot back. "Who's afraid of a mouse?"*_Coffee_*A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee." Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says.... "HEBREWS"Best RegardsIbrahim kadiri ............ .....BragadoeDo you know why the Rose that grew from the concrete had damaged petals???On the contrary.... ....We would all celebrate its tenacity and love its WILL to reach the sunWell........ ......We are the Roses!!!!Don't ask me why......... ....Thank GodRemember, if you’re headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns
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NORMAL PERSON : All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.Chris Okotie: Exclusive dedication to necessitous chores without interludes of hedonistic diversion renders Jack a hebetudinous fellowA NORMAL PERSON: People who live in glass houses should not throw stones.Chris Okotie : Individuals who make their abodes in vitreous edifices would be advised to refrain from catapulting perilous projectiles.************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *******NORMAL PERSON : Twinkle, twinkle, little starChris Okotie : Scintillate, scintillate, asteroid minim.************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *******NORMAL PERSON : All that glitters is not gold.Chris Okotie : All articles that coruscate with resplendence are not truly auriferous.************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *******NORMAL PERSON : Beggars are not choosersChris Okotie : Sorting on the part of mendicants must be interdicted.************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *******NORMAL PERSON : Dead men tell no talesChris Okotie : Male cadavers are incapable of rendering any testimony.************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *******NORMAL PERSON : Beginner's luckChris Okotie : Neophyte's serendipity.************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *******NORMAL PERSON : A rolling stone gathers no mossChris Okotie : A revolving lithic conglomerate accumulates no congeries of small, green, biophytic plant.************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *******NORMAL PERSON : Birds of a feather flock togetherChris Okotie : Members of an avian species of identical plumage tend to congregate.************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *******NORMAL PERSON : Beauty is only skin deepChris Okotie : Pulchritude possesses solely cutaneous profundity.************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *******NORMAL PERSON : Cleanliness is godlinessChris Okotie : Freedom from incrustations of grime is contiguous to rectitude.************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *********NORMAL PERSON : There's no use crying over spilt milkChris Okotie : It is fruitless to become lachrymose of precipitately departed lactile fluid.************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *******NORMAL PERSON : You can't try to teach an old dog new tricksChris Okotie : It is fruitless to attempt to indoctrinate a superannuated canine with innovative maneuvers.************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *******NORMAL PERSON : Look before you leapChris Okotie : Surveillance should precede saltation.************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *******NORMAL PERSON : He who laughs last, laughs bestChris Okotie : The person presenting the ultimate cachinnation possesses thereby the optimal cachinnation.************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *******NORMAL PERSON : All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.Chris Okotie : Exclusive dedication to necessitous chores without interludes of hedonistic diversion renders Jack a hebetudinous fellow.************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *******NORMAL PERSON : Where there's smoke, there's fire!Chris Okotie : Where there are visible vapours having their provenance in ignited carbonaceous materials, there is conflagration
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Forget about the dayswhen its been cloudy, butdon't forget your hours in the sunForget about mistakesthat you can't change now, butdon't forget the lessonsthat you've learnedForget about the timesyou've been defeated, butdon't forget the victories you've wonForget about misfortunesyou encounter, butdon't forget the times your luck has turnedForget about the dayswhen you've been lonely, butdon't forget the friendly smiles you've seenHave a Healthy and Wealthy day!
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Thinking of becoming president ? well we have great deals on our sale week .Amazing deals on women like michelle obama on our dating site www.naija2naija.com .Extreme networking on www.9jabook.com the hottest soxl network in 9ja right now .Video clips to show you how to pose on www.9jamovies.com and wait ! we have JB himself He who wants to become president of Nigeria come 2011 Fashola willing or not !
ready and willing to guide you into the greatest year this side of the century Where slumdogs and Black men show that It takes an idea to change the world.
Yes We fit.
thanks for your time
and maybe deep deep in our hearts we all really want to be president .
I pledge Allegiance to The Federal Republic of The United States of Nigeria where the pursuit of happyness is the right of every man woman and child .....Think about it .
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StressA lecturer when explaining stress management to an audience,Raised a glass of water and asked'How heavy is this glass of water?'Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g.The lecturer replied, 'The absolute weight doesn't matter.It depends on how long you try to hold it.If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem.If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm.If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance.In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.'He continued,'And that's the way it is with stress management.If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later,As the burden becomes increasingly heavy,We won't be able to carry on. ''As with the glass of water,You have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again.When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden.''So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down.Don't carry it home.You can pick it up tomorrow.Whatever burdens you're carrying now,Let them down for a moment if you can.'So, my friend, Put down anything that may be a burden to you right now.Don't pick it up again until after you've rested a while.Here are some great ways of dealing with the burdens of life:* Accept that some days you're the pigeon,And some days you're the statue.* Always keep your words soft and sweet,Just in case you have to eat them.* Always read stuff that will make you look goodIf you die in the middle of it.* Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can beRecalled by their maker.* If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.* If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again,It was probably worth it.* It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply be kind to others.* Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time,Because then you won't have a leg to stand on.* Nobody cares if you can't dance well.Just get up and dance.* Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.* The second mouse gets the cheese.* Birthdays are good for you.The more you have, the longer you live.* You may be only one person in the world,But you may also be the world to one person.* Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.* We could learn a lot from crayons... Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull.Some have weird names, and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.*A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.Have an awesome day and know that someone has thought about you today...I did.
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vinkfbrealuvI WISH YOU ENOUGHRecently I overheard a father and daughter in their last moments together. They had announced her departure and standing near the security gate, they hugged and he said, "I love you. I wish you enough."She in turn said, "Daddy, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Daddy." They kissed and she left.He walked over toward the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see he wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on his privacy, but he welcomed me in by asking, "Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?""Yes, I have," I replied. Saying that brought back memories I had of expressing my love and appreciation for all my Dad had done for me. Recognizing that his days were limited, I took the time to tell him face to face how much he meant to me. So I knew what this man was experiencing."Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?" I asked."I am old and she lives much too far away. I have challenges ahead, and the reality is, the next trip back will be for my funeral," he said."When you were saying good-bye I heard you say,'I wish you enough.' May I ask what that means?"He began to smile, "That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone." He paused for a moment and looking up as if trying to remember it in detail, he smiled even more."When we said 'I wish you enough,' we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them," he continued and then turning toward me he shared the following as if he were reciting it from memory:I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.posted 2 days ago
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BEING IN LOVEWell, I told THE LORD that I love Him today. And He said to me, 'How much do you love me? You haven't told anyone how good I've been to you. You haven't shared how perfect my love is. You haven't spread the good news that I am always there to listen to your problems.You haven't told your family how I helped you pay your bills when you didn't have a high paying job, or how I got you a better one. You haven't shared with anyone how I took away that addiction that would have cost you not only your job, and everything that was just what you were looking for. So how much do you really love me?'So, I said I would share with my friends and family (for starters) just how wonderful, perfect, understanding, patient, loving, unselfish, considerate and forgiving GOD really is. He has blessed me with a family that loves me and friends that I can confide in. But even more than that, He has saved me from destruction I couldn't even see coming.He gave to me the peace of knowing Him, and He has never broken a promise. Truly He is the best thing that has ever happened to me. And I stand in my stadium today to tell to you all, 'I LOVE THE LORD!'Be blessed
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A happily married couple, who were having their first baby were invitedto test the use of a new equipment and technology that would transfer aportion of the mother's labour pains to the biological father of a babywithin a stipulated diameter / distance.Of course,the expectant couple were happy to try it and the man feeling for hiswife, intended to use this wonderful opportunity to show his love byoffering to "share" the labour pain / experience with his lovingwife. The pain transfer was set to 10% but the husband felt nothing.Therefore, the doctor increased it to 20%. With a tinge of excitementhe said he felt fine and upon scrutiny his blood pressure was normal.He invited the doctor to tune it up to 50%. Still there was no reactionand he was doing okay.The doctor was amazed and slowly transferred all the pain until the Wifedelivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain! She and her husbandand the doctor were ecstatic. However, on getting home, they foundtheir gardener lying at the gate, half dead, writhing in pain!!Hmm, I'm astounded as you probably are!!
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Posted by angie cepeda on February 21, 2009 at 3:41am
i love dreaming of things that can happen or that would happen but good ones thoughmy favourite words are init(love that word),you reckon,whats the shit!!!am a girl whose very ambitious and believes in herselfonce i my life time i played volleyball and i woni love being lovedbut one thingi hate gossipsso do me one favour love me!!!!and i will love you too... Get Free Hi5 Glitters Read more…
Posted by Dare Ayodele on February 20, 2009 at 5:56pm
1 When you take a long time, you're slow.When your boss takes a long time, he's thorough.2 When you don't do it, you're lazy.When your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy.3 When you make a mistake, you're an idiot.When your boss makes a mistake, he's only human.4 When doing something without being told, you're overstepping your authority.When your boss does the same thing, that's initiative.5 When you take a stand, you're being pig-headed.When your boss does it, he's being firm.6 When you overlooked a rule of ettiquette, you're being rude.When your boss skips a few rules, he's being original.7 When you please your boss, you're arse-creeping.When your boss pleases his boss, he's being co-operative.8 When you're out of the office, you're wandering around.When your boss is out of the office, he's on business.9 When you're on a day off sick, you're always sick.When your boss has a day off sick, he must be very ill.10When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview.When your boss applies for leave, it's because he's overworked
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Posted by Dare Ayodele on February 20, 2009 at 4:55pm
What you think of yourself is reflectedin the way you treat others.A very effective way to raise your own level of confidenceis by acting positively toward the people around you.Rudeness toward others, whether intentional or not,is a sure sign of a lack of confidence.When you have no respect or consideration for others,it's difficult to have much confidence in yourself.Ironically,one of the worst things you can do for yourselfis to think only of yourself.The more genuine respect, consideration andcourtesy you express toward those around you,the more your own confidence will grow.If someone is rude to you,make every effort to be sincerely pleasantand courteous in return.Just because someone else is allowing rudenessto drain away their own energy,doesn't mean you must do the same.Have the confidence to be courteous,and the confidence to act with genuinerespect toward others.Your positive attitude and positive actions willenergy
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A concerned husband goes to see the family doctor and says, "I think my wife is deaf because she never hears me the first time I say something, in fact, I often have to repeat things over and over again.""Well," the doctor replies, "go home and tonight and stand about 15 feet from her and say something. If she doesn't reply, move about five feet closer and say it again. Keep doing this so we can get an idea about the severity of her deafness."Sure enough, the husband goes home and does exactly as instructed. He starts off about 15 feet from his wife in the kitchen and as she is chopping some vegetables, he says, "Honey, what's for dinner?"He gets no response. He moves about five feet closer and asks again. No reply. He moves five feet closer. Still no reply. He gets fed up and moves right behind her, about an inch away, and asks again, "Honey, what's for dinner?"She replies, "For the fourth time, vegetable stew!"
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