Emeka, Nigerian Borat

Posted by 9jabook.com on July 4, 2008 at 9:00am

Emeka, Nigerian Borat, cultural, commercial and Spiritual learnings to the world for make benefit glorious nation of Nigeria.. Part 1 Cultural learnings Borat, the movie must be a huge joke , most of all sacha baron cohen aka �ali G� the overly sexed rapping, woman loving, pot smoking, general all time idiot was at his best as Borat the envoy from Kazakhstan out to make cultural learnings for make benefit glorious nation of Kazakhsan. Only the fellow that played Uri in the Smirnoff ice advert, who with his homeboy Gul can compare in this eastern gritty cold bizarre humour ,brrrrrrrrrrrr. Personal message from emeka. �World people kedu o ! I salot una well .My name na Emeka and after I watch the home video Borat by one man wey dem call mr sacha, as naija man u trust say na pirate copy I buy from one chinko girl for wooleech for South East. I come say chei ! this nna borat don get am for plenty money so I come try to find a way to tell the whole world say new nna borat dey for town na im I come meet nna Frank Adeche who come helep me write this for hin email. I tell am say make him no forget to put my website wey be emekanaijaborat@ tokumbo.com for this email so that all my people for onitsha go no say I don arrive and dem go let me come marry nneka as money don plenty come.� That is the word from Emeka, Nigeria�s borat and just like borat you might not understand a lot of things he says, there is a small Emeka dictionary on the website or you can email him at emekanaijaborat@tokumbo.com. Sometimes emeka may sound like frank and Frank like emeka but as both are Nigerians it is best to consider them one and unique just as all true borats are. I pronounce Emeka as haymaykar. I haven�t seen the movie borat yet but I hope to download it using bittorent, I will try to before I finish this article but from what I have read in the reviews, it is a real laugh with clear and concise learnings but what Borat does for me is to remember the first time I thought of writing for my country . In a way England, is a sort of America for me, I grew up the American way amongst an �American� Family with a near perfect southern accent complete with drawl n twang. So you might say I am an all English, all American plus a generous spattering of Nigerian to boot, quite a formidable DNA cocktail. I was gonna write this article and title it �I weep for my country� this was a few years ago I forget where the draft is, somewhere within one of my past lovers, oops sorry laptops yeah I have run thru quite a number of them things, well that is another story. I finally realised there was jack worth weeping about except to make learnings for the world to make benefit glorious nation of Nigeria . I am targeting the whole world with this article, it is for make benefit of all and also some age groups of the country Nigeria with this article, the ones I exempt should not take it to heart , I am good people. I will start with the unborn kids and foetuses, seeds of existence that need the special grace of God to survive in Nigeria and I think God�s grace is quite prevalent because church to Streets ratios in the world clearly put Nigeria in the top spot because there are at least two warring churches on every major street in Nigeria, I don�t know about the ratios of mosques and I aint gonna push it . Salman Rushdie was an idealist, I am a realist today , I can safely say that Kazakhstan is a holiday resort compared to some places in Nigeria. The term armed robbery might not become real to you until you visit Nigeria where these robbers have a liken for murder and highway robberies not pitying the wayfarers who have to put up with the abundant natural speedbreakers Nigerians call potholes that exist on most Nigerian motorways. So whilst travelling you also have to be on the lookout for gunslingers , it is the real wild west in that country. There is also the militant threats from budding osama bin ladens in the North and gun toting oil rebels in the south. This paints a gory picture but there are also some places in Abuja, Nigeria�s capital city that would make even Buckingham palace look like a shoebox and within these places live the middle corrupt rich and super corrupt rich who are turning their faces away from the �glory� that Nigeria is turning into and will typically ignore this attempt to make benefit the glorious nation of Nigeria. It is a really weird place, what still amazes me are the strange things that happen there the ability to buy your groceries from meat cuts to shaving cream and I hear recently to cars in the flipping traffic ! which can take up to 4hours in a typical God blessed day , it is a case of Wal mart and Tesco on wheels , who needs internet delivery ! So foetuses and unborn kids the choice and conclusion is simple, beg God to not let you be born in Nigeria but don�t choose America you might end up a marine ! I am also focussing on the Six to Twelve year olds because they pretty well know and are aware by now that they wished they was born elsewhere because of the great YAWA coming upon my glorious country in a few years time. by the age of six you should be able to juggle three jobs and when you talk about tough jobs no job beats the Nigerian childs. Go to school, Sell stuff on the highways in traffic , dodge through motorbikes or okada as they are called , perfect the art of begging for a living and sell cigarettes at night . All that under sixteen crap does not work in Nigeria and if you are a girl by the age of twelve start grooming for geisha duty minus the memoirs because no one likes to remember . Six to twelve year olds in China and India need not worry about anything because their economy is booming and growing and they will catch up with it minus the rickshaws and the rice paddy fields.(unborn naija kids take note) Now comes up the Thirteen to Nineteen folks the teenagers ,aw sorry guys because most of you are already in the Nigerian Culture of National cake eating and gangbanging which are called Secret cults , you must have earned your toothache holes from eating the sumptuous portions dealt out via the scratch my back and I will scratch your back policies ,and the kickback kickfront and all other kicks that even Jackie Chan will give an arm to know how to master. One of our former military presidents or dictators or whatever because it is a rule in Nigeria that once you have been a head of State,it is your born right to gun for democratic president . This same fellow was known to have been nicknamed Maradona because of his specialty in all kinds of kicks at the Aso Rock (Nigeria�s white House) football field . The ideas of globalization and reparation were created by a few individuals in a southern university in Nigeria . That the best way to repay the world for not selling their great grandfathers into slavery so that they would be born in America or anywhere but Nigeria. They created the mugu syndrome also popularly known as 419,advanced fee fraud and the fabled Nigerian Scam. Years ago, Emeka, once had the glorious pleasure of trying out the scam business and after some really tough times typing up a storm and writing letters, about a thousand letters a day, sealing them in envelopes ,addressing them and sending them by post abroad. This was the days when email was not prevalent in Nigeria back in the early 90s, when this was unsuccessful he thought better and shifted back to high seas trading importing containers from china etc for sale in Nigeria at a tidy profit. Then and now imports and only oil exports were the mainstay of the Nigerian economy . He figured the successful scammers were into drugs or where doing some real crazy stuff by cutting off their mothers heads or having relationships with insane women in dark graveyards or some other sort of devilry and were just using the scams as a front. These days all you had to do was send a lot of email and in a few weeks to months money comes , that was alice in wonderland stuff .Well much later he had the opportunity to observe a scam from origin to success and at the end of it told this fellow a well known nineteen guy who had just hammered an american mugu and done him in for 10thousand dollars and point blank told him that �I don�t believe it ! all that money for nothing � and yoda style the scammer calmly said �you don�t believe that is why you fail, told you I did� This is the age group that needs these learnings because they have come to accept education and scamming and corruptions as a way of life. Put them in a church and they will make the Pope look like a choir boy, or invite them to a mosque and even the Imam would ask them for an autograph. This group has adorned a certain smugness because this ideology was derived from previous skirmishes within the jungle called the Nigerian system. The gangbanging I talked about sure beats that on the mean new york streets at least there they do it for drugs and money. In Nigerian high schools and universities from my research I hear it is for fun and mostly it is not your average drive by shooting but a Gangs of Newyork cutlass and homemade pistols party. They call these orca, I wonder if the killer whales name had anything to do with it. Anyway kill they are used for and a darn business that would make The Departed movie look like a chick fight. It is these same folks after being trained in the rudiments of gangwarfare that graduate into the 419ers and scammers that Nigeria has become so gloriously beneficial to. There is also the satisfaction that this is the most important age group to consider because they have seen the �affluent poverty� of a nation and will not be able to fathom the �decadent poverty� looming in the horizon. Whatever learnings they have presently are apt to find them in hot peppersoup ouchie ! ( I miss naija peppersoup pure fire in liquid form). You see this group of Nigerians are the ones that will see what it is to live in a Nigeria that doesn�t have oil. The Americanising of Nigeria cum the vast influence of England during its colonial days has coined the terms Yankee and Jand as symbols of success. This is another white elephant dream because in both these places people actually WORK ! especially immigrants. China and especially India have used their brains to earn them a place as the sweatshops of the world and my glorious country Nigeria has a good portion of smarts to achieve this too. This is one of the learnings Emeka had when he came to the good peoples of oyinbo whiteman.After passing a one year course in two months his supervisor was amazed and asked him how come he could do that . Emeka replied �in country I come from this is small thing, the problem is get job first not book, in Nigeria too many book people .� Most youth in Nigeria consider the golden fleece as living in the united States or the united kingdom and would give one (not both they are Nigerians and not stupid) of their soon to be kickback legs to reside there with some occasional jaunts to good old bongo for some general Insanity ! Snoop Doggy Cat or dog or whatever he is called now would call it heaven .Lagos is just like the Bronx in Newyork only tougher ! the title of his hit song �rolling down the street smoking indo sipping on gin and juice lay back ��you can certainly do just that in lagos and get away with it , if caught just slip the equivalent of a dollar or two to the cops and who knows they might confiscate the indo for their own private use. The trouble is The Englanders and the Yanks don�t want people in their country especially Nigerians and the funny thing is that I wonder very much because Nigeria has a lot of Oil and if bushie and blairy invaded eyeraq for the oil yet don�t give a hoot about Nigerians coming to their country . You have to hear the stories going on in American and British embassies in the glorious nation of Nigeria even Abu Ghraib would look like Sunday school to these places because of the kind of treatment Nigerians take. My question to this age groups is simple. If Yankee and Jandon don�t give a hoot about your butts when you have Oil yanfu yanfu , why in the world do you think they would breakdance if your oil becomes irrelevant . You say to yourselves Nigerian oil reserves are gonna last for eternity, well emeka says that the key word here is �irrelevant� which well said emekaspeak �dem no go need una petrol weder una get 419 oil blocks to lease for 419naira even if una give them advance fee for the 419 blocks dem no go agree dem go say una be fraudsters� Well this is a scenario that looks farfetched, When Emeka told some of his nna buddies these make benefit scary theories, they all said �no shaking, emeka you too dey yarn� that he should be worrying about his rice container on the high seas. You dear reader also might say at least in the next 50years Nigeria will still be in business and afterall there is good old Naija Gas, �with gas, as the crooked Nigerian politicians will say �we still dey kampe .� Okedoke, wait for part 2 of this make benefit series, una go tire ! That was a long time ago that it looked like this but before I give an explanation of how things are gonna jump from frying pan into fire lemme address the last age groups. Ok twenty to twenty nine you are next. Like the age group before you , by Gods grace you must have graduated or are hoping to graduate from the weird system of A doo kay shun in my glorious country, excuse my English pronunciation of the word Education afterall my name is Emeka. I am from the ibo tribe of Nigeria and am apt to commerce and general motor spare parts production and sales, I also am very cunning in working out thingys and contraptions. In the 70�s bloody civil war in Nigeria the biafran Ibo were known to have made guided rockets which they called ogbunigwe, as dubious as they sounded I heard an oldwives tale that claimed local shamans did most of the guiding but o yes they worked and quite well too. I wonder why they lost the war there would have been no need to write this article, the Chinese and Japanese would just love the ibo . Just as Emeka has made a real snowballing of the word Education, so also Nigeria has turned education into a quagmire of sorts, that is you do get educated in the end but ummmm well sort of . There was even a popular rap star called Eedris that made up a song that was a hit in Nigeria about a university lecturers antics with his female students with respect to marks in Exams. �My name is bimbo ,bimbo owoyemi � was a particular part in the song that had a nice rhythm and this same eedris fellow also wrote another song about the glorious nation Nigeria in which he gloriously coined it �Nigeria Jaggar Jaggar, poor man dey suffer suffer, everything scatter scatter, Gbosa Gbosa , gun shot inna the air !� You get the drift in that babble of syllables and tones depicting controlled chaos. This eedris and a host of his music friends I wonder how they would have made any records if my glorious nation Nigeria had not made itself �glorious� if you know what I mean. These are cultural learnings for make glorious nation Nigeria .Sorry Mr Borat Nigerian English is not as convoluted as yours the problem is the fact that some Nigerian English accents can break mirrors , Haba ! Well twenty to twenty nines to tell you the truth if I were you I would join the long American embassy queue or any embassy for that matter, don�t worry the Iraqi embassy is an option as I can assure you that for a certainty there is no where in the world a Nigerian can not excel . Another piece of advice, I would take up Chinese mandarin or bengali as a second language the reasons are obvious China is taking over from the British and Americans the rape of our resources via CNOOC oil Company . Moreover mandarin will come in handy because for every five people on this here earth there is a chinaman and please when you get your visa make sure you don�t use Nigerian airways or is it Virgin Nigeria Airways because Nigerian planes are still virgins, no wonder they crash so often, too much load and tension. If I were you I would take a bus or walk , it is safer ! why the name Virgin Nigeria Airlines ? They could as well have called it Richard Branson Airlines, Sir Richard could have kicked the backs of President Obasanjo and his cronies some more, knowing full well that Nigeria within the airline name might not attract a lot of foreign tourists very much. I heard only Nigerians fly virgin Nigeria and I hear the service is very very gloriously shitty . There was this story I read in the English media that irked the living daylights out of me I aint no James bond but to use such a story to describe my glorious nation and call it sleeping giant to boot .kai ! they might as well have called it drugged sleeping giant ! The story goes that a commercial flight just after take off from one of the Nigerian airports all of a sudden bucked and amidst the momentary horror the plane had to land immediately to which all (Nigerian) the passengers broke into laughter when it safely touched down ! this was a few days after a plane crash that whacked out a lot of lives ! Now it comes to the thirty and upwards age group .The fact is that if you are still in Naija then there is a high certainty expressed by the equation below for X Where X ~ infinity =x2 + e=mc2 = B If the equation makes any meaning to you dear reader or any of the Science boffins out there because I aint no Einstein but using my common okoro sense. X is the certainty that good ole bongo might just be the place for you , just prepare for a nation without oils make benefits and hope for the best, expect the worst, in God we trust ! insha allah . In the Next few weeks I will present part two and it is gonna be a shocker this might spike the stats to the embassy queues or mosques or church, at least there are many of the latter in my glorious country Nigeria .We will speak about the spiritual learnings in the third part of this series! I hope these few cultural learnings have made for make benefit of the World for glorious nation of Nigeria. Tank you so mosh Emeka This article comes from TOKUMBO.COM ! home of NeTcHuRcH from naija nigeria ! http://www.tokumbo.com The URL for this story is: http://www.tokumbo.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=50

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9ice abolore akande to star in upcoming movie ..we say gongo aso !   The singer is currently shooting a Yoruba flick titled Jekere (Tumor), produced by Laide Bakare and featuring Fathia Balogun, Emeka Ike an…  Started by you in entertainment gist	0	1 hour ago
Corpers cry out for Salary .. FG has not paid allowances since march   The federal government have been unable to pay many corpers their monthly allowee since March  Started by you in Education	1	1 hour ago  Reply by Moses O.O. Famuyiwa
Man Kills Fiancée For Refusing Second Abortion; Her mother died at the News of her Disappearance   The police in Ebonyi State is currently investigating the gruesome murder of a 23- year-old girl, Chinagorom Lucy Agama, a first year st…  Started by webmadam iffy in Na Wa O !	0	1 hour ago
IGP Bans Tinted Glasses, Sirens, etc ... i thought he banned it before !   ABUJA—Following intelligence reports that terrorist groups and gunmen, who have been killing innocent people and destroying property across…  Started by you in EFCC Nigeria Crime Reports	0	1 hour ago
Ali Baba sets new record in comedy cracks jokes for 6 hours non stop live on stage @muson centre   On Saturday May 12th, during the deluxe edition of Bunmi Davies' Stand Up Nigeria comedy show which held at the Muson centre Onikan, th…  Started by you in Jokes	0	1 hour ago
Four drunken policemen allegedly kill two people at a nightclub in Apapa !   Two people were reportedly killed at a nightclub known as Monalido in Apapa, Lagos, on Friday May 11th after four allegedly drunk and a…  Started by you in EFCC Nigeria Crime Reports	0	1 hour ago
Edo 2012: One killed in BENIN-CITY over pre election rigging allegations   Crisis erupted yesterday in Benin City, the Edo State capital, among supporters of the Action Congress of Nigeria (ACN) who are equally mem…  Started by you in politics punch pmnews reporters 234next	0	2 hours ago
Robbers Kill Six Police Officers, One Soldier In Delta   By SaharaReporters Barely four days after the Delta State Commissioner of Police, Ikechukwu Adube, paraded some armed robbery suspects…  Started by webmadam iffy in general

GJ Inauguration to Gulp N5 billion,Bravest 9ja Lorry Driver,Foreman's Record Broken,Ancelotti Sacked,Omotola is NOT having Affair

Posted by 9jabook.com on November 30, 1999 at 12:00am

jpeg&STREAMOID=U3lWDZEL8kk5_rCN_R7SBS6SYeqqxXXqBcOgKOfTXxQdNKozmrTQOHBzWKXs9Z_$nW_PgxgftuECOcfJwS6Jtlp$r8Fy$6AAZ9zyPuHJ25T7a9GKDSxsGxtpmxP0VAUyHL6IDcZHtmM2t7xO$FHdJG95dFi6y2Uma3vSsvPpVyo-&width=234

Boxing: George Foreman "Loses" to Hopkins who becomes oldest world title winner http://bit.ly/myMvb8

Edo Lorry driver drives burning lorry for six kilometres to avoid Petrol Stations !:

http://bit.ly/kUzxXo

President Jonathan's Inauguration to Gulp N5 billion, Church Service N63 Million http://bit.ly/iVDCMJ

Naija Woman pours Boiling Water on 10-Year-Old Niece in Accra http://bit.ly/jU6FjK

Delta State Governor, Emmanuel Uduaghan Imports N200m Bullet Proof Bomb Proof Automobile http://bit.ly/myMRFc

Jonathan goes tough on kerosene scarcity Crashes Prices http://bit.ly/kwkgJ5

Carlo Ancelotti Sacked as Chelsea manager http://bit.ly/js2rqC

Omotola Jalade is NOT having an affair with Dr. Afolabi http://bit.ly/m6z0Yt

DMX : "Women threw themselves at me. All they got was di***c**k, my wife had my heart" hmmm na wa o IF Men throw themselves at you nko ? http://bit.ly/jppqNZ

8 Home Remedies for Prostate Problems by the Editors of Consumer Guide: It's a sad fact of growing older for t...http://bit.ly/lBaBBP

Police arrests man, herbalist for Sexually Mutilating five year-old for Ritual Purpoes

http://bit.ly/j9V1uw

How to share your brain http://bit.ly/mDVBfd

My new wife led me to T.B Joshua" - John Fashanu, Joseph Yobo's new Inlaw confesses: One thing I bless Abigail f...http://bit.ly/mpYJVC

Jim Iyke denies fighting with hawker in Abuja. His side of the storyhttp://bit.ly/lCpoU3

Breaking News: Plane Crash in Kaduna

Posted by cozzy webtatafo on November 30, 1999 at 12:00am

jpeg&STREAMOID=pGaj5K28acaYlpBHo$MHSy6SYeqqxXXqBcOgKOfTXxRAXv0dwzOxDKt6sFOYxDUQnW_PgxgftuECOcfJwS6Jtlp$r8Fy$6AAZ9zyPuHJ25T7a9GKDSxsGxtpmxP0VAUyHL6IDcZHtmM2t7xO$FHdJG95dFi6y2Uma3vSsvPpVyo-

A four passenger aircraft, with regristration number N364UZ, has crash landed in Barkallau village in Kaduna this afternoon.The green and white coloured aircraft, developed mechanical problem, minutes after take off, and went up in flames when it crash landed.

The incident happened at 12pm opposite the National Open University located in the village.

As at the time of filling this report, fire fighters had begun putting out the fire and carrying out rescue operations.

Those present at the scene of the incident said they saw the passengers hitting the window glass and calling for help before the aircraft went up in flames.

It is not clear yet if any of the four passengers are dead.

Another Soldier kills policeman over barricade in Port Harcourt !

Posted by 9jabook.com webmadam on November 30, 1999 at 12:00am

In Port Harcourt, pregnant widow of slain policeman begs Police, Army authorities to arrest her husband’s killers THIRTY-YEAR –OLD Peter Okeke, a Police Constable with the Rivers State Criminal Investigation Department (CID) had left home to supervise an on-going filling station project located at Onne in Onne Local Council of the state. As he hugged his sons and kissed his pregnant wife, Beatrice, goodbye, there was nothing whatsoever to suggest the enormity of the tragedy that would befall the young family before the day was over.

Constable Okeke was allegedly shot dead by a soldier, a few hours later, following an argument over a roadblock. Sources told The Guardian the road had been barricaded by RCC, a construction company doing major rehabilitation work on the road. A group of soldiers drove onto the barricaded road and assumed that Constable Okeke had blocked it, ordered him to dismantle the barricade. An argument ensued when Okeke told the soldiers he did not barricade the road and if it would be opened, then the workers of the construction company were in a better position to do so.

The soldiers became angry and jumped down from their Hillux truck and started beating the Constable. “As they were beating him, he was shouting, telling them he was a policeman and that they should please not kill him. “But it was of no use as one of the soldiers shot him at close range and they drove off.” Okeke died while being rushed to hospital. According to an eyewitness who pleaded anonymity: “The filling station where Constable Okeke was, was close to a road under construction by RCC. “When the soldiers arrived and found the road blocked because of the on-going reconstruction by RCC, they o

President Jonathan's Inauguration to Gulp N5 billion, Church Service N63 Million

Posted by 9jabook.com on November 30, 1999 at 12:00am

Boxing: George Foreman "Loses" to Hopkins who becomes oldest world title winner http://bit.ly/myMvb8

Police arrests man, herbalist for mutilating five year-old http://bit.ly/j9V1uw

My new wife led me to T.B Joshua" - John Fashanu, Joseph Yobo's new Inlaw confesses: One thing I bless Abigail f...http://bit.ly/mpYJVC

Jim Iyke denies fighting with hawker in Abuja. His side of the storyhttp://bit.ly/lCpoU3

Rapture passes - believers downcast, pastor silenthttp://bit.ly/jh6wWl

DMX : "Women threw themselves at me. All they got was d**i**k, my wife had my heart" http://bit.ly/jppqNZ

Abuja:Bombs kill 10 after GJ sworn in

Posted by 9jabook.com on November 30, 1999 at 12:00am

ABUJA (AFP) - Bomb blasts at a beer garden and eatery at a Nigerian military barracks killed at least 10 people hours after President Goodluck Jonathan was inaugurated, an emergency source said. Three bomb blasts hit a "mammy market" -- commonly found at Nigerian military barracks and open to civilians -- in the northern city of Bauchi, located in one of the states hard hit by post-poll riots last month. The attacks at the market were caused by "locally made devices", Bauchi state police commissioner Abdulkadir Indabawa said. Authorities gave varying death tolls as is often the case in Nigeria, with officials frequently seeking to downplay the number of victims. An emergency source who declined to be named said at least 10 people were killed, calling the incident "devastating," while Indabawa said four were dead and some 20 people

NYSC won’t be scrapped, says Jonathan !

Posted by 9jabook.com on November 30, 1999 at 12:00am

Bloodbath in Lagos: Soldiers kill 8 Policemen including DPO, DCOhttp://bit.ly/jEEVdE

Police parade 17-year-old suspected gangster in Edo: A 17-year-old student, Uyiosa Ehigiamusoe was among the 31 ...http://bit.ly/kGlYHa

NYSC won’t be scrapped, says Jonathan ! We will still send Southerners to the North http://bit.ly/jXv0WS

Kaduna Plane Crash: Passengers were ALive and waving for Help before Aircraft burst into flames ! http://bit.ly/iEwErT

NASA plans capsule to take humans into deep spacehttp://bit.ly/juSNQC

You cant make it in Nigeria without being corrupt.True or false?: I've often heard Nigerians say, "you cant ma... http://bit.ly/jqO9EP

techcrunch: Tech Startups in Nigeria. Here Are My Favorites.

Posted by technology on November 30, 1999 at 12:00am

Last week a friend wrote about Computer Village, on techcrunch where many of the gadget-hounds in Lagos go to get their gadgety fix. But what about new technology being developed in the country? The city’s tech entrepreneur scene is small, but several people are working on changing that.

Oo Nwoye– or @oothenigerian as he’s known on Twitter– is one of the more enthusiastic champions of this nascent scene. (That’s him on the left.) I met him two years ago in London, where he cornered me at an event and made a case for me going to Nigeria, so he was one of the first people I contacted when I finally did.

Since then, he’d moved back home. He’s working on a to-be-determined startup and spending the meantime trying to galvanize a startup community. He organized a fantastic demo day to give me a taste of what people are working on.

In the days leading up to the pitches, I spoke with half a dozen tech entrepreneurs in Nigeria who had a lot of complaints about the ecosystem. There was the ever-present emerging market complaint of not enough venture capital, but the entrepreneurs also complained about the extremely high costs of doing business in Nigeria given how small the online market is so far, the spotty infrastructure, and the lack of enough developers who want to work for startups instead of the big oil companies.

Victor Asemota (pictured at Demo Day with me to the left) moved to back to Nigeria after starting his mobile technology services company in Ghana, lured by the juicy 150 million person population. He pays the same amount for his office space in Nigeria that he used to pay for a house and a comparable office space in Ghana. More galling: Because the infrastructure is so poor in Nigeria, he also has to provided his own power and water backups. “I have to build my own city just to live here,” he said, exasperated.

Asemota also talked about a bigger challenge to building a tech company in Nigeria: The stigma of illicit 419 scams. He’d negotiated a deal with a customer in Florida one time and was wrapping up the meeting by handing the man his business card. Simply seeing that he was from Nigeria killed the deal instantly, Asemota says. The man wouldn’t even keep his business card. I noticed at the end of our dinner, when Asemota handed me his card it listed his company as located in Ghana. And, he says, ground down by the frustrations of doing business in Nigeria, he’ll probably move back there.

So I entered Demo Day halfway through my trip, desperately looking for some hope. I found the first glimpse of it, appropriately, in a guy wearing an Obama Hope T-Shirt. His name was Gbenga Sesan, and he runs a organization called Paradigm Initiative of Nigeria. It takes small delegations of Lagos’s techies into less developed and frequently more violent parts of Nigeria to convince 13-year-olds to get interested in computers. “If you don’t start at 13, they can’t be millionaires by the time they are thirty,” he says.

Another group called Co-Creation Hub immediately caught my attention. It is building an incubator to help entrepreneurs with business advice, funding and mentoring. Their focus is using technology to solve real problems Nigeria faces, not just copying what people read on TechCrunch. It welcomes more than just coders, but teachers, doctors, or anyone from any background that has a dramatic idea of how to make life in Nigeria better. A new co-working space to be opened later this year will operate like an open living lab for social change.

I love that strategy. I always advise entrepreneurs if they want to build a Western-facing consumer Internet company to move for the Valley; it will just be easier. But if they want to be pioneers in their own markets, focus on the problems and endemic strengths there. (And probably read sites like TechCrunch a little less too.)

So right away between Nwoye’s evangelism, Paradigm Initiative of Nigeria’s efforts to build a young generation of coders and Co-Creation Hub’s cushy nest for social change, there was a pretty impressive mix of people actively working to foster an ecosystem. Things were looking up for Nigerian entrepreneurs. The demos started, and I was impressed by many of the companies too. They ran a tight ship doing pitches of no more than five minutes, and there were only a few copy-cat Western Web ideas in the bunch. My favorites are below. I should mention there was also a Garage48 hacker event over the weekend in Lagos that I wasn’t able to attend. The demos from that day are here.

Gyst: This was one of two truly long-term, big-idea, swing-for-the-fences startups I saw in the country. (I’ll write about the other one on Saturday.) Sim Shagaya (pictured to the left) has a Harvard MBA, but don’t hold that against him. After studying in the US and bouncing around the tech and banking world, he returned home to build a traditional old media billboard business.

He’s now leveraging the cash-flow of that to build two exciting new media companies. One is a daily deal site called DealDey. The other is super exciting. It’s called Gyst, and it’s a very local business directory search engine. He hires a bunch of kids throughout the country and gives them each a smart phone with a camera. They go door-to-door, manually getting information and GPS coordinates on every small businesses in the city, gathering the information in a database. Amazingly, nothing like this exists in Nigeria– no Yellow Pages, no local search engines, no 411 service. Like most emerging markets, many cities in West Africa don’t even have a formal system of streets and addresses or a working postal system.

This is an insanely expensive and ambitious project, and it’s 100% bootstrapped by the parent company. The opportunity is huge. It’s Google on a local level combined with Yelp, JustDial,SMSOne, Gigwalk, and a bunch of other exciting companies who rethink cost effective ways to amass huge amounts of local data in one easy-to-access place. “It will take a long time to show the true value of this business, but we’re willing to wait,” Shagaya says. Right now the company has 20,000 business listings, and its ultimate ambition is to index every city in West Africa with more than one million people. And the company will make all that information completely free for users. Whoa.

There are obviously huge synergies between these three businesses. A daily deal site that is tied to billboards and the region’s onlycomprehensive small business directory is a lot more powerful and exciting than a run-of-the-mill Groupon clone. It’s a textbook example of how industries develop in parallel, not serial, in emerging markets, utterly transforming how they develop. Imagine if Clear Channel, Google and Groupon were all the same company. And I love the ambition: Shagaya said he is focused on building nothing less than the Naspers of Nigeria.

Naspers– the South African media conglomerate– is not only one of the most dominant new media companies in Africa, it’s investing in the most important new media companies in the emerging world. One of their companies, DealFish, was even a sponsor of this Demo Day. It’s about time a continent as big as Africa has more than one new media powerhouse. This company is one to watch.

Skoola: This company has taken several years of Nigeria and Western Africa’s standardized tests and converted them into a basic test prep app that can run on any mobile phone, smart or dumb. I asked how big the market is and the whole room laughed. This is the test everyone takes if they have any ambition of higher education.

The business– which is so clear that the entrepreneur pitched in under three minutes– is a no brainer on a lot of levels. More people have phones in the developing world than toilets so it’s the ideal medium, and it’s a way to kill time sitting in traffic and further your education at the same time. It’s a perfect example of how to build a mass market product in a country like Nigeria: It’s distributed on the broadest possible platform, solving a problem a huge percentage of the population has, and priced for volume at less than $.30 per test. The company is working on French translations so neighboring West African countries can use the product too. I’m amazed I haven’t seen something like this in India. I’m sure it already exists. If it doesn’t, it should.

Traffic Nigeria: Speaking of the need to kill time in traffic, this company uses crowd-sourcing to monitor the traffic in Lagos, delivering results over the Web or SMS.

Also not featured on The Techcrunch Article we have

9jabook.com a nigerian social network powered site who are presently offering members partnership options

9jax.net a link sharing and advert partnership site

9jamovies.com a youtube embedding website

http://ojoojoo.com a search nigeria site powered by google search modified greatly for nigerian websites !

Businessman stabs female student in the eye …Victim risks blindness, cries for justice

Posted by cozzy webtatafo on November 30, 1999 at 12:00am

Businessman stabs female student in the eye …Victim risks blindness, cries for justice
By

Miss Goodness Moses has just finished the Ordinary National Diploma (OND) at the Institute of Management Technology (IMT), Enugu and came to Lagos for her one year Industrial Training (IT). The 26-year-old lady had actually approached Nestle Foods Plc for the training and was hopeful of being given the opportunity to serve in the multinational company, for her practical experience, before going back for her Higher National Diploma (HND).

Miss Goodness Moses

Miss Goodness Moses has just finished the Ordinary National Diploma (OND) at the Institute of Management Technology (IMT), Enugu and came to Lagos for her one year Industrial Training (IT). The 26-year-old lady had actually approached Nestle Foods Plc for the training and was hopeful of being given the opportunity to serve in the multinational company, for her practical experience, before going back for her Higher National Diploma (HND).

Miss Goodness Moses

Presently, verifications are going on in the school to know those who qualify for the HND. But the Marketing student may not have the opportunity again, at least, not for now. She is battling to ensure she doesn’t go blind, after she was allegedly hit and stabbed in the eyes by a businessman, Uzoma Nwezie. The incident occurred on Sunday, March 13, 2011, at 6, Ajayi Street, Catholic Road, Ipaye, Iba Town, Ojo, Lagos.

Trouble started for Goodness, when she was trekking to Ipaye bus-stop that fateful day alongside one of her sisters. According to her, Nwezie, who was driving, almost ran over her if not that she ran into the bush where she fell flat.

The victim, who said it was the fall inside the bush that saved her from being crushed by Nwezie’s car told Daily Sun how she got up, cleaned herself and they continued their journey, only for him to reverse and challenged her for allegedly calling him devil.

“I didn’t call him devil, I only said, ‘it would not be well with the devil’. I even apologized to him and he still used sharp object to hit me in the jaw and I started seeing stars. My eyes later went blank and I started screaming for help. People tried to stop him from further torturing me but he refused. He tore my clothes and bra. The incident occurred between 7.30 and 8 pm. I lost my purse, money and the torn dress,” she said.

According to her, the businessman, his wife and group of boys stormed their compound, fuming with rage.

“He resumed the attack on me and even extended it to my father. That was the time he stabbed me in one of my eyes. Because of the hitting and the stab, I started vomiting blood and was quickly rushed to the El-Shaddai Hospital, Iba Town, but the doctors referred me to the Lagos University Teaching Hospital (LUTH). At LUTH, I was referred to St. Edmund Clinic and Eye Hospital, which later referred me to Eye Foundation, Ikeja, where they performed Rectinal detachment.”

After the operation, Goodness said she couldn’t see with one of the eyes, while the other one is getting worse.

“Pus is also gushing out from one of my ears,” she lamented. She was supposed to be going for medical check-ups and further treatment, but her alleged attackers have refused to take responsibility for that and refuse to show up.

Businessman stabs female student in the eye …Victim risks blindness, cries for justice

Posted by cozzy webtatafo on November 30, 1999 at 12:00am

Businessman stabs female student in the eye …Victim risks blindness, cries for justice
By

Miss Goodness Moses has just finished the Ordinary National Diploma (OND) at the Institute of Management Technology (IMT), Enugu and came to Lagos for her one year Industrial Training (IT). The 26-year-old lady had actually approached Nestle Foods Plc for the training and was hopeful of being given the opportunity to serve in the multinational company, for her practical experience, before going back for her Higher National Diploma (HND).

Miss Goodness Moses

Miss Goodness Moses has just finished the Ordinary National Diploma (OND) at the Institute of Management Technology (IMT), Enugu and came to Lagos for her one year Industrial Training (IT). The 26-year-old lady had actually approached Nestle Foods Plc for the training and was hopeful of being given the opportunity to serve in the multinational company, for her practical experience, before going back for her Higher National Diploma (HND).

Man kills mother in Church Premises,Army Clashes with Militants,first class graduates get Cars

Posted by 9jabook.com on November 30, 1999 at 12:00am

9jabook FriDay Feed

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YOUR M.O.N.E.Y B.A.C.K A.N.Y T.I.M.E ! Own a facebook like site 9jabook.com investments start from just 100 naira ! see list of those who have PAID .http://bit.ly/hARciM

Have a Great Weekend !

Newsblogs:

Funeral Thieves Nabbed: As you mourn they Steal

Army clashes with militants in oil delta..after months of "vacation"

Man kills mother in Church Premises

Naija Mayor Dies In UK

Previously:

lV5dhV

Ten Murdered Corpers Families get Ten Million Naira each.Photos Late Obinna & Ukeoma http://bit.ly/kfdYbE

FCMB MD, Ladi Subomi-Balogun -Accused of Having Extra-Marital Affairs With Married Woman http://bit.ly/lwrmcK

Family Members Jubilate Over Dora Akunyili’s Misfortunehttp://bit.ly/m7FsHC

Top Nige.rian Celebrities Who Are Gigolos http://bit.ly/jnaAWO

Pakistan grants U.S. access to Bin Laden’s widows ! Na Wa o Why ? dem wan marry dem !

9jas Most wanted man

Posted by 9jabook.com on November 30, 1999 at 12:00am

9jas Most Wanted Man in Police Net: Ebulu aka Stone Cop Killer captured ADC to Late osisikankwu: The Police have...http://bit.ly/jZwSaK

Standing vs Sitting While working ! Try this this week if you are not weak ! http://bit.ly/mg0hX5

Give alms to beggars, go to jail -Lagos State Authority http://bit.ly/lWK8rN

U.S. strengthens Nig.eria's security, donates two warshipshttp://bit.ly/mkLBAk

N10bn loan: Dimeji Bankole owns up as Tenure expires

Posted by Paul "EFCC" Hawk Adams on November 30, 1999 at 12:00am

John Ameh, Abuja

The Speaker of the House of Representatives, Mr. Dimeji Bankole, may have owned up to borrowing N10bn from a commercial bank to manage the affairs of the lower arm of the National Assembly, investigation has revealed.

Mr. Dimeji Bankole

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A member of the House leadership, told our correspondent that Bankole, who was absent at Wednesday's plenary when the issue came up, gave satisfactory reasons for the loan during a closed-door session by the House leadership on Thursday.
The member said, "He gave reasons why the loan was taken. We were satistified. In fact, most of us who make up the House leadership were in the know about the loan.
"We just agreed that he should convey our decision at the plenary which will have all members in attendance. The decision was to prevent a row in the House."
Bankole had come under fire during Wednesday's plenary with members giving him till Thursday (yesterday) to explain why the loan was taken by the House leadership without carrying them along.
The bank had reportedly withheld the second quarter allowances of members on account of the loan, resulting into anger and anxiety in the chamber.
But on Thursday, rather than hear the speaker in the open, the House went straight into the closed-door session, which lasted for nearly two hours.
When it reverted to plenary, Bankole read out two resolutions he said were taken at the closed-door meeting.
He claimed that the members "discussed House matters and issues and the Speaker offered satisfactory explanations."
The speaker added that the meeting also resolved that the remuneration of the 11 re-admitted lawmakers led by Mr. Dino Melaye should be paid to them immediately.
However, mixed reactions greeted the resolutions. Some lawmakers shouted "no", "no", indicating disagreement, while others shouted "yes", "yes" as Bankole asked whether what he said was the true reflection of the resolutions of the meeting.
Findings however revealed that at the closed-door session, the speaker clarified that the loan was an institutional loan as against the rumour that he used the name of the House to take a personal loan.
He was reported to have said that the money was used to manage the affairs of the House.
The development confirmed allegations that lawmakers jacked up their entitlements, collecting jumbo salaries and allowances.
A disgruntled member said that the loan was used to fund the "recklessness" of lawmakers, who raised the quarterly allocation of each member from N28.9m to about N42m in July last year.
The decision, in addition to other "unnecessary expenditure", reportedly left the accounts of the House in the red, necessitating the pressure to resort to borrowing.
One of the lawmakers told our correspondent after the plenary that the loan would have been as high as N60bn if not for conditions set for banks by the Central Bank of Nigeria.
The lawmaker, who did not want his name in print, said, "Besides the N42m, they were even demanding other money. The real loan would have been N60bn; but any bank doing this type of transaction needed the approval of the Central Bank of Nigeria.
"It was because there was no CBN approval that they were left with what they got (10bn)."
The money for the repayment of part of the loan was said to have be

N10bn loan: Dimeji Bankole owns up as Tenure expires

Posted by Paul "EFCC" Hawk Adams on November 30, 1999 at 12:00am

John Ameh, Abuja

The Speaker of the House of Representatives, Mr. Dimeji Bankole, may have owned up to borrowing N10bn from a commercial bank to manage the affairs of the lower arm of the National Assembly, investigation has revealed.

Mr. Dimeji Bankole

advertisement

A member of the House leadership, told our correspondent that Bankole, who was absent at Wednesday's plenary when the issue came up, gave satisfactory reasons for the loan during a closed-door session by the House leadership on Thursday.
The member said, "He gave reasons why the loan was taken. We were satistified. In fact, most of us who make up the House leadership were in the know about the loan.
"We just agreed that he should convey our decision at the plenary which will have all members in attendance. The decision was to prevent a row in the House."
Bankole had come under fire during Wednesday's plenary with members giving him till Thursday (yesterday) to explain why the loan was taken by the House leadership without carrying them along.
The bank had reportedly withheld the second quarter allowances of members on account of the loan, resulting into anger and anxiety in the chamber.
But on Thursday, rather than hear the speaker in the open, the House went straight into the closed-door session, which lasted for nearly two hours.
When it reverted to plenary, Bankole read out two resolutions he said were taken at the closed-door meeting.
He claimed that the members "discussed House matters and issues and the Speaker offered satisfactory explanations."
The speaker added that the meeting also resolved that the remuneration of the 11 re-admitted lawmakers led by Mr. Dino Melaye should be paid to them immediately.
However, mixed reactions greeted the resolutions. Some lawmakers shouted "no", "no", indicating disagreement, while others shouted "yes", "yes" as Bankole asked whether what he said was the true reflection of the resolutions of the meeting.
Findings however revealed that at the closed-door session, the speaker clarified that the loan was an institutional loan as against the rumour that he used the name of the House to take a personal loan.
He was reported to have said that the money was used to manage the affairs of the House.
The development confirmed allegations that lawmakers jacked up their entitlements, collecting jumbo salaries and allowances.
A disgruntled member said that the loan was used to fund the "recklessness" of lawmakers, who raised the quarterly allocation of each member from N28.9m to about N42m in July last year.
The decision, in addition to other "unnecessary expenditure", reportedly left the accounts of the House in the red, necessitating the pressure to resort to borrowing.
One of the lawmakers told our correspondent after the plenary that the loan would have been as high as N60bn if not for conditions set for banks by the Central Bank of Nigeria.
The lawmaker, who did not want his name in print, said, "Besides the N42m, they were even demanding other money. The real loan would have been N60bn; but any bank doing this type of transaction needed the approval of the Central Bank of Nigeria.
"It was because there was no CBN approval that they were left with what they got (10bn)."
The money for the repayment of part of the loan was said to have been built into the 2011 budget which is yet to be singed by President Goodluck Jonathan.
Another member of the House disclosed that one of the decisions taken at the closed-door session was that the leadership would "meet with the Presidency to find ways of freeing the allowances of lawmakers being held by the bank."
The loan was allegedly taken in three tranches of N6.1bn, N2.5bn and N1.5bn in May 2010.
However, some lawmakers were said to have insisted that the leadership was also reckless on its part by undertaking certain expenditure that they were not briefed on.
One of them said, "We are funding the recklessness of the leadership. What pains me most is that the people who will suffer for this recklessness are the Nigerian tax payers.
"We are kept here at the expense of the tax payers who are suffering. The speaker did not say it all; the loan was taken to fund their own recklessness, which they can no longer defend.
"What they have decided to do is to roll the loan over in the budget at compound interest."
On the separate case involving the allowances of 11 suspended members, Bankole allegedly appealed to them to exercise patience.
"He was practically begging; he assured us that something would be done very soon to pay the money," one of the 11 re-admitted legislators confided in our correspondent.
Each of them is said to be owed about N120m for allowances covering 11 months.
As the House rose, Melaye stormed out, still protesting that Bankole did not offer satisfactory explanations.
"No sinner will go unpunished, I repeat. I have been vindicated. I have always shouted that this House has lost focus," he said.
A four-time member and Chairman of the Integrity Group, Mr. Farouk Lawan, blamed the development in the House on "communication breakdown."
Lawan, whose group ensured the exit of a former Speaker, Mrs. Patricia Etteh, from office in 2007, claimed that there had been a communication breakdown between the leadership and members over the handling of House finances.
He said, "What has happened today is that the communication

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