I have been so blessed this Christmas,with loving friends who care.I hope their dreams are answered,as they put their stockings on the tree.May they have every wish,dear God, please do it.Just for me.I pray they have a ur wish,some stuffing and some corn.I hope they never go hungry.May they live a life which is long.May their house be blessed a new.At Christmas and New Year tooMay Christmas be peaceful,the best they ever had.
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Posted by 9jabook.com on September 11, 2008 at 1:00am
Hi all
New today:
Security Check:
Spammers n scammers are not allowed on 9jabook o !
Anyone who gives their phone number online does so at their own risk !
Rankings system ! The more you do on 9jabook the more you go up in the rankings ! login to cee yr ranking !
! Of course I am the No 1 guy !
If anyone can beat my ranking by monday I will give you
100pounds! try me !
please dont bother, i virtually live on 9jabook ! lol !
Also We have a who is online banner, and now you can
holla or na halla the whole 9jabook family members at
once !
Other new additions:
Advert Section
Songs Page
and many many more !
Our Oldskool Videos week starts Next week .So upload all
your old skool videos on the videos or tv section from youtube!
We will vote for the best old skool BEFORE year 2000 !
am sure dem neva born some of una then ! lol ! The
winner becomes number 4 in the 9jabook big broda
competition !
E REMAIN 6 !
ok na let us Now get down into another underground
gist,Wen !
Basket mouth one leak o !
shhhhhhhh,
one of our members is piloting the first online Private
Investigation Company in Nig.eria. !
It is a very very big secret .shhhhhhhhhhh ! no talk
say i tell you o ! All those cheaters out there , time
is up !
Plus This secret company is also offering free training
(worth 500pounds GBP) to the first five applicants that
are approved to join the team ! Goto groups and look for
Naija Cheaters ! Thank you !
I hear there is huge market in naija o ! lol !
ok to more serious issues.
No forget today is the anniversary of a tragedy that
shook the world so waka small small and thank God for
his mercies and blessings ! God bless America and God
Bless Ni.geria 1000 times (we need am !)
no long thing !
tkia
webOga aka shrekkie JB
Abi John Balogun
for 9jabook team
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Posted by 9jabook.com on September 2, 2008 at 11:43pm
Hi 9jabookers !
kini big deal 9jabook ? someone was asking me yesterday .
ok here it is !
we are not all about socialising. we are also about education,business and trade !
We are Testing ! the following sites ! which you will also own subject to rules and regulations !but no worry they are not strict !
Sites are :
www.9jabay.com
ok, like ebay but 4 niger.ians . Finally a way to buy stuff on ebay from Nige.ria and a way to buy and sell your stuff in ni.geria.we use sendquicker.com for payment.
www.9jageeks.com
the open university site free video lectures on almost everything ! We are looking for Deans and lecturers ! You dont have to go to university no more ! i just dey joke o !
www.9jawiki.com
the encycleopedia site well it is time we had an ecncycleopedia for nige.ria or what do you think ?
www.ojoojoo.com ! wetin be dat ? google nigerian sites only !
coming soon !
www.ask9ja.com (figure that out yourself !)
www.9jaX.com ( this site is the future of special effects in nollywood movies check out maya training on www.9jageeks.com)
so now u know kini big deal 9jabook, now you know !
to your success
9jabook Team (dat is You ! and I )
gongo aso
oti so !
no be beans
no be moi moi
na so we dey do
power to the people !
searching for the Nigeri.an dream .
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My relationship was not good because there was no trust and we fought a lot. My boyfriend cheated on me and lied to me.I gave forgiveness to myself because I realized that it wasn't my fault that my boyfriend was playing around on me and lying to me constantly. I broke up with him and moved on. Praying For a Rainbow by Rebecca Walkins Randle was the LovePoetry poem that helped me through the pain because I found a rainbow inside of myself.As a result of my decision to break up with him and forgive myself, I got closer to my family and got a new boyfriend who treats me like an angel! I think I reacted wisely because if I hadn't broken up with him, I wouldn't be with my boyfriend right now. I would still be sad and depressed and my boyfriend now is also my rainbow.If you are in a bad relationship, don't stay in it. Get help and find your rainbow!
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Posted by OBAJE AFREECA on October 17, 2008 at 1:36pm
It’s nice and lovely joining this great site and meeting my Naija brothers and sisters in sharing the message of One Pure Love peace and unity. Our great Home Naija has come of age and so has gone through many difficult times notably, the Biafran war, religious riots and other civil unrests that we all had to deal with to survive up to this very moment.This and many more challenges we have faced as a people struggling to make our mark on planet earth but never before have we faced a dilemma like the current crisis in the Delta region of our great Country Nigeria.I have only heard and read happenings there but not enough to say I know what really is the problem and why we have been unable to solve our problems ourselves calling foreigners to come and resolve it.Here I’m asking you my loving brothers and sisters why? Why can’t we resolve this problem?
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The continued ill health of the Nigerian President, Mr Umaru Yar'Adua has put the cabal, consisting mainly of the President's close friends and relatives, who recently hijacked the Presidency and have been calling the shots in recent times, in a quandary.The Nigerian President, chidi opara reports can now report is recuperating from a major surgery in Saudi Arabia.The President whom well placed Presidency contacts informed us was scheduled to visit the moslem holy land for the lesser hajj and from there pay an official visit to Brazil, suddenly took ill and was taken to Saudi Arabia for treatment, because according to our contact, "it was a minor ailment initially", and the President's family and private doctors "thought that he would just get some treatment and continue with the lesser hajj and visit to Brazil", the contact concluded."On arrival in Saudi", another Presidency contact volunteered, "serious complications set in, infact the President was unconscious for several hours". A contact close to someone in the President's entourage however informed chidi opara reports that "the President's condition have been critical since after the surgery".Our investigation have however revealed that the President's ill health is not the major source of worry for this present cabal that rules Nigeria, while the President reigns. The major worry of this cabal is the position of the Vice-president, Dr. Goodluck Jonathan in the power hierachy. The constitution provides that the Vice-president should assume power in the event of death, physical/mental disability or resignation of the President.We learnt that this cabal, who have cornered major government patronages and even clears important policies before they are debated in the Federal Executive Council(FEC), have been planning to use its contacts in the National Assembly to compile impeachable offences against the Vice-president, which they hope to use to put pressure on him to resign. "Assasination may even be considered", a security contact in Abuja whispered to us.The fear of what will be the raction of the Niger Delta militants if any thing happen to the Vice-president, we learnt further have been the major restraining factor. The Vice-president is an Ijaw from Bayelsa State, an oil producing state in the Niger Delta region of Nigeria.A senior Presidency official who pleaded not to be named informed us that "in the meantime, Babagana Kingibe is the acting President". Mr. Kingibe is the secreatary to the Federal Government of Nigeria and a peripheral member of the cabal.
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Posted by 9jabook.com on October 13, 2008 at 12:57am
The federal government is sending each of us a N60, 000 rebate. If we spend that money at Shop-rite, the money goes to China. If we spend it on fuel it goes to the Arabs. If we buy a computer it will go to India. If we purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala. If we purchase a good car it will go to Germany. If we purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan and none of it will help the Nigerian economy. The only way to keep that money here at home is to spend it on Mama -put, Nkwobi, Soldier Root, Peppersoup, Opa-eyin,cow leg, Jedi, Juju, Monkeytail, Isi-Ewu, Beer and Prostitutes, since these are the only products still produced in Nigeria..Cheers All
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Nuage entertainment in conjunction with 2WINZ Entertaintment & Brown Sugaz maiden launch XMAS Party 26th of Dec '08. Featuring a dizzying array of london's top DJ's together in one place for this night only.Nuage entertainment is about taking club nights to a whole new level, join us and enjoy the rideABOUT THE VENUEFriday Night Club is situated on the water's edge next to Canary Wharf. A prime location with fantastic panoramic views overlooking the London Skyline with every up to date facility and is only minutes walk from South Quay on the Docklands Light Railway and Canary Wharf on the Jubilee Line. London City Airport, Excel Exhibition Centre, The O2 Arena, Greenwich and the West End of London are all within easy reach.HIGHLIGHTS OF THE NITETwo talented belly dancers on the floorFree bottle of champagne for the sexiest group of girlsA one day pass to stay at the Britannia international hotel which includes full continental breakfast, swimming pool, gym and of course an opportunity to take a tour of canary wharfs and its environ.Please book in advance for V.I.P as spaces are limitedPlease book Birthday Parties, Hen Night or any special occasion so that we can provide you with appropriate complimentary giftsSophisticated and mature crowdMusic by London’s top and famous DJ’sOur intention is to blow your mind awayDRESS CODEDress like a starSECURITYOur security staffs guarantee’s a peaceful atmosphere
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answer from frank at the naijatech guy ! lol !
nice review ! who paid you mr originality .if i even decide to review yr site u will cry .lol ! in 3mths we are clocking 3000members plus we have an alexa rating of 170,000 ! have you ever heard of a guest book that is where facebook originated from . ok maybe u are new to the web.! jambanjatis and soxl are new originations of the words . naijatechtalk is not original mr original so called original .goto techtalk.com . its dumbasses like u that nigeria does not need ! ok
so hw come u use wordpress ? why not create your own blogging platform ? thank Hod you have heard of ning . i smell jealousy here ! lots of it ! lol ! i love you man honest ! this means we are doing sumthin roite .lol like ma english ?
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Posted by 9jabook.com on October 10, 2008 at 4:28am
The future of Social Networking is in your wallet! ...and the wallet of your closest friends, and their closest friends, and so on and so on.
Forget the hype about total networks on each of the many social networking platforms ... it's just that... hype. There is no point in building a platform of social networks without also providing the means, method, and support system to allow those Network Creators and their members to make money... lots of money! The halcyon days of Social Networking version 1.0 are OVER my friends. The world economy, and the Web 2.0 economy, are now into RED ALERT mode.
Unless you plan on surviving the financial "nuclear winter" by living off your rich uncle's inheritance money, you need a PLAN on how you can build a home-grown, bootstrapped business that can generate real profits through Social Networking.
The Secret is in getting back to Basics - Human Nature 101
Humans are pack animals. Call it a "herd" mentality. We like to believe that we think for ourselves, but in reality most of us follow the lead of the others around us and try to pick up the signals of "danger" or "opportunity" in our immediate environment. This reactionary mechanism can be harnessed by those who understand it.
If Network Creators are provided with a means, a method, and a support system to create MICRO ECONOMIES within their own particular niche, then the entire world of Social Networking will be turned on its head. They can draw other members of their own "herd" who have similar interests and who likewise are spooked by recent economic events to focus their energy and spending on focused activities, both business and pleasure. These members will also want to participate in the profit-generating potential of a niche Network that is empowered with the proper membership tools.
Rather than thinking that people simply want to create destinations based on a hobby, activity, business, or a sport - we should be thinking that people want to create ECONOMIC destinations based on these niches, and give them an ability to utilize the wealth of information and interaction that goes on within each of them.
It's the DATA stupid!
It is patently absurd for a platform to suggest that Network Creators can create any sort of network they wish and take their data with them -- when in fact it is technically impossible without hiring a special developer to write custom tools or programs at a cost exponentially higher than that platform's premium membership fees. Why would a person interested in creating profit waste time with this nonsense?
Instead, the future of Social Networking is with platforms that provide INHERENT TOOLS that give FULL CONTROL to the Network Creator to build MICRO ECONOMIES that generate extremely valuable DATA from the interactions between the members of that niche network. This data can be recycled within the network itself for a multitude of purposes that perpetuate the financial cycle, including, but not limited to:
1. Cross Marketing between members;
2. Trading Posts / Barter exchange between members;
3. Advertising by members to others that come to the niche network for information;
4. Reselling of premium content generated by members themselves;
5. Aggregation of data by many members regarding shared events or reference points, where the sum of the whole is worth more than the individual pieces (crowd-sourcing);
Who shall lead us to the Promised Land?
One word... TRUST! Is the Emperor wearing any clothes today? Are you being told one thing and then given another? Does the leader of your platform have a history of behavior that is contradictory to the goals that they promote publicly? These are all relevant questions to ask.
Those who survive the present "panic mode" will do so because they turn LOCAL instead of GLOBAL, and try to focus on making the most money from the smallest group of similarly situated members. They must also TRUST that the PLATFORM they choose has a business model that is designed to make this possible. Once a Network Creator commits to building a network on a platform, it can be a DISASTER if that Platform's leader decides to exact a pound of flesh and BAN or DELETE the Network or Network Creator from the platform - destroying months of work and hundreds of thousands of valuable data objects.
When smaller IS better!
The PLATFORM must not have a goal of creating the greatest number of total networks. This merely creates a dilution of the Platform's capital and resources. Rather, the Platform must create tools and services that allow a SMALLER group of networks to make a larger NET PROFIT. The less mouths there are too feed, the more likely it is that the tribe will survive.
Why would a Platform brag to its tribe members (Network Creators) that it has hundreds of thousands members ... when the reality is that all of these tribes are feeding from the same plate of Platform resources? The only possible rationale would be an desire to sell out the tribe to a bigger tribe down the road since the more mouths there are to feed, the less resources are available for each tribal member.
Instead of trying to grow infinitely large, a platform should give each member the tools to go out and hunt and gather for themselves... with each successful kill being shared up the chain with the tribal leader (Platform). This symbiotic method ensures the survival of both the indidudal Networks as well as the platform as a whole.
Who's your Daddy?
Let us not forget the most important three letter word in the dictionary... FUN! It is a proven fact that people who are having fun are more willing to spend money. Can you say "VEGAS" anyone? Why should Social Networking be so serious?
The future of Social Networking involves a RELAXED and self-effacing educational process for Network Creators. The PLATFORM must have an open and supportive environment for the Network Creators who are trying to learn how to build profitable MICRO ECONOMIES. It should not be PUNITIVE or RETRIBUTIVE towards those who express their opinions, fears, concerns, or complaints. The Successful Platform will be the one that LAUGHS AT ITSELF when necessary, while also making sure that there is no hypocrisy in their own actions. It is FINE to be the guardian of the greater good and to sequester trolls when needed, but this does NOT mean censorship of those who indicate that the platform's PROMISES have not been met. And when the time comes for an explanation... PUHLEASE... "just the facts ma'm"... no hyperbole or double-talk!
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Emeka, Nigerian Borat, cultural, commercial and
Spiritual learnings to the world for make benefit glorious nation of Nigeria..
Part 1 Cultural learnings
Borat, the movie must be a huge joke , most of all sacha baron cohen aka �ali G� the overly sexed rapping, woman loving, pot smoking, general all time idiot was at his best as Borat the envoy from Kazakhstan out to make cultural learnings for make benefit glorious nation of Kazakhsan.
Only the fellow that played Uri in the Smirnoff ice advert, who with his homeboy Gul can compare in this eastern gritty cold bizarre humour ,brrrrrrrrrrrr. Personal message from emeka.
�World people kedu o ! I salot una well .My name na Emeka and after I watch the home video Borat by one man wey dem call mr sacha, as naija man u trust say na pirate copy I buy from one chinko girl for wooleech for South East.
I come say chei ! this nna borat don get am for plenty money so I come try to find a way to tell the whole world say new nna borat dey for town na im I come meet nna Frank Adeche who come helep me write this for hin email.
I tell am say make him no forget to put my website wey be emekanaijaborat@ tokumbo.com for this email so that all my people for onitsha go no say I don arrive and dem go let me come marry nneka as money don plenty come.�
That is the word from Emeka, Nigeria�s borat and just like borat you might not understand a lot of things he says, there is a small Emeka dictionary on the website or you can email him at emekanaijaborat@tokumbo.com. Sometimes emeka may sound like frank and Frank like emeka but as both are Nigerians it is best to consider them one and unique just as all true borats are.
I pronounce Emeka as haymaykar.
I haven�t seen the movie borat yet but I hope to download it using bittorent, I will try to before I finish this article but from what I have read in the reviews, it is a real laugh with clear and concise learnings but what Borat does for me is to remember the first time I thought of writing for my country .
In a way England, is a sort of America for me, I grew up the American way amongst an �American� Family with a near perfect southern accent complete with drawl n twang. So you might say I am an all English, all American plus a generous spattering of Nigerian to boot, quite a formidable DNA cocktail.
I was gonna write this article and title it �I weep for my country� this was a few years ago I forget where the draft is, somewhere within one of my past lovers, oops sorry laptops yeah I have run thru quite a number of them things, well that is another story. I finally realised there was jack worth weeping about except to make learnings for the world to make benefit glorious nation of Nigeria .
I am targeting the whole world with this article, it is for make benefit of all and also some age groups of the country Nigeria with this article, the ones I exempt should not take it to heart , I am good people.
I will start with the unborn kids and foetuses, seeds of existence that need the special grace of God to survive in Nigeria and I think God�s grace is quite prevalent because church to Streets ratios in the world clearly put Nigeria in the top spot because there are at least two warring churches on every major street in Nigeria, I don�t know about the ratios of mosques and I aint gonna push it .
Salman Rushdie was an idealist, I am a realist today ,
I can safely say that Kazakhstan is a holiday resort compared to some places in Nigeria. The term armed robbery might not become real to you until you visit Nigeria where these robbers have a liken for murder and highway robberies not pitying the wayfarers who have to put up with the abundant natural speedbreakers Nigerians call potholes that exist on most Nigerian motorways.
So whilst travelling you also have to be on the lookout for gunslingers , it is the real wild west in that country. There is also the militant threats from budding osama bin ladens in the North and gun toting oil rebels in the south.
This paints a gory picture but there are also some places in Abuja, Nigeria�s capital city that would make even Buckingham palace look like a shoebox and within these places live the middle corrupt rich and super corrupt rich who are turning their faces away from the �glory� that Nigeria is turning into and will typically ignore this attempt to make benefit the glorious nation of Nigeria.
It is a really weird place, what still amazes me are the strange things that happen there the ability to buy your groceries from meat cuts to shaving cream and I hear recently to cars in the flipping traffic ! which can take up to 4hours in a typical God blessed day , it is a case of Wal mart and Tesco on wheels , who needs internet delivery !
So foetuses and unborn kids the choice and conclusion is simple, beg God to not let you be born in Nigeria but don�t choose America you might end up a marine !
I am also focussing on the Six to Twelve year olds because they pretty well know and are aware by now that they wished they was born elsewhere because of the great YAWA coming upon my glorious country in a few years time.
by the age of six you should be able to juggle three jobs and when you talk about tough jobs no job beats the Nigerian childs. Go to school, Sell stuff on the highways in traffic , dodge through motorbikes or okada as they are called , perfect the art of begging for a living and sell cigarettes at night .
All that under sixteen crap does not work in Nigeria and if you are a girl by the age of twelve start grooming for geisha duty minus the memoirs because no one likes to remember .
Six to twelve year olds in China and India need not worry about anything because their economy is booming and growing and they will catch up with it minus the rickshaws and the rice paddy fields.(unborn naija kids take note)
Now comes up the Thirteen to Nineteen folks the teenagers ,aw sorry guys because most of you are already in the Nigerian Culture of National cake eating and gangbanging which are called Secret cults , you must have earned your toothache holes from eating the sumptuous portions dealt out via the scratch my back and I will scratch your back policies ,and the kickback kickfront and all other kicks that even Jackie Chan will give an arm to know how to master.
One of our former military presidents or dictators or whatever because it is a rule in Nigeria that once you have been a head of State,it is your born right to gun for democratic president . This same fellow was known to have been nicknamed Maradona because of his specialty in all kinds of kicks at the Aso Rock (Nigeria�s white House) football field .
The ideas of globalization and reparation were created by a few individuals in a southern university in Nigeria .
That the best way to repay the world for not selling their great grandfathers into slavery so that they would be born in America or anywhere but Nigeria.
They created the mugu syndrome also popularly known as 419,advanced fee fraud and the fabled Nigerian Scam.
Years ago, Emeka, once had the glorious pleasure of trying out the scam business and after some really tough times typing up a storm and writing letters, about a thousand letters a day, sealing them in envelopes ,addressing them and sending them by post abroad.
This was the days when email was not prevalent in Nigeria back in the early 90s, when this was unsuccessful he thought better and shifted back to high seas trading importing containers from china etc for sale in Nigeria at a tidy profit. Then and now imports and only oil exports were the mainstay of the Nigerian economy .
He figured the successful scammers were into drugs or where doing some real crazy stuff by cutting off their mothers heads or having relationships with insane women in dark graveyards or some other sort of devilry and were just using the scams as a front.
These days all you had to do was send a lot of email and in a few weeks to months money comes , that was alice in wonderland stuff .Well much later he had the opportunity to observe a scam from origin to success and at the end of it told this fellow a well known nineteen guy who had just hammered an american mugu and done him in for 10thousand dollars and point blank told him that �I don�t believe it ! all that money for nothing � and yoda style the scammer calmly said �you don�t believe that is why you fail, told you I did�
This is the age group that needs these learnings because they have come to accept education and scamming and corruptions as a way of life. Put them in a church and they will make the Pope look like a choir boy, or invite them to a mosque and even the Imam would ask them for an autograph.
This group has adorned a certain smugness because this ideology was derived from previous skirmishes within the jungle called the Nigerian system. The gangbanging I talked about sure beats that on the mean new york streets at least there they do it for drugs and money.
In Nigerian high schools and universities from my research I hear it is for fun and mostly it is not your average drive by shooting but a Gangs of Newyork cutlass and homemade pistols party.
They call these orca, I wonder if the killer whales name had anything to do with it. Anyway kill they are used for and a darn business that would make The Departed movie look like a chick fight.
It is these same folks after being trained in the rudiments of gangwarfare that graduate into the 419ers and scammers that Nigeria has become so gloriously beneficial to.
There is also the satisfaction that this is the most important age group to consider because they have seen the �affluent poverty� of a nation and will not be able to fathom the �decadent poverty� looming in the horizon. Whatever learnings they have presently are apt to find them in hot peppersoup ouchie ! ( I miss naija peppersoup pure fire in liquid form).
You see this group of Nigerians are the ones that will see what it is to live in a Nigeria that doesn�t have oil. The Americanising of Nigeria cum the vast influence of England during its colonial days has coined the terms Yankee and Jand as symbols of success. This is another white elephant dream because in both these places people actually WORK ! especially immigrants. China and especially India have used their brains to earn them a place as the sweatshops of the world and my glorious country Nigeria has a good portion of smarts to achieve this too.
This is one of the learnings Emeka had when he came to the good peoples of oyinbo whiteman.After passing a one year course in two months his supervisor was amazed and asked him how come he could do that . Emeka replied �in country I come from this is small thing, the problem is get job first not book, in Nigeria too many book people .�
Most youth in Nigeria consider the golden fleece as living in the united States or the united kingdom and would give one (not both they are Nigerians and not stupid) of their soon to be kickback legs to reside there with some occasional jaunts to good old bongo for some general Insanity !
Snoop Doggy Cat or dog or whatever he is called now would call it heaven .Lagos is just like the Bronx in Newyork only tougher ! the title of his hit song �rolling down the street smoking indo sipping on gin and juice lay back ������you can certainly do just that in lagos and get away with it , if caught just slip the equivalent of a dollar or two to the cops and who knows they might confiscate the indo for their own private use.
The trouble is The Englanders and the Yanks don�t want people in their country especially Nigerians and the funny thing is that I wonder very much because Nigeria has a lot of Oil and if bushie and blairy invaded eyeraq for the oil yet don�t give a hoot about Nigerians coming to their country .
You have to hear the stories going on in American and British embassies in the glorious nation of Nigeria even Abu Ghraib would look like Sunday school to these places because of the kind of treatment Nigerians take.
My question to this age groups is simple.
If Yankee and Jandon don�t give a hoot about your butts when you have Oil yanfu yanfu , why in the world do you think they would breakdance if your oil becomes irrelevant .
You say to yourselves Nigerian oil reserves are gonna last for eternity, well emeka says that the key word here is �irrelevant� which well said emekaspeak �dem no go need una petrol weder una get 419 oil blocks to lease for 419naira even if una give them advance fee for the 419 blocks dem no go agree dem go say una be fraudsters�
Well this is a scenario that looks farfetched, When Emeka told some of his nna buddies these make benefit scary theories, they all said �no shaking, emeka you too dey yarn� that he should be worrying about his rice container on the high seas.
You dear reader also might say at least in the next 50years Nigeria will still be in business and afterall there is good old Naija Gas, �with gas, as the crooked Nigerian politicians will say �we still dey kampe .�
Okedoke, wait for part 2 of this make benefit series, una go tire ! That was a long time ago that it looked like this but before I give an explanation of how things are gonna jump from frying pan into fire lemme address the last age groups.
Ok twenty to twenty nine you are next. Like the age group before you , by Gods grace you must have graduated or are hoping to graduate from the weird system of A doo kay shun in my glorious country, excuse my English pronunciation of the word Education afterall my name is Emeka.
I am from the ibo tribe of Nigeria and am apt to commerce and general motor spare parts production and sales, I also am very cunning in working out thingys and contraptions.
In the 70�s bloody civil war in Nigeria the biafran Ibo were known to have made guided rockets which they called ogbunigwe, as dubious as they sounded I heard an oldwives tale that claimed local shamans did most of the guiding but o yes they worked and quite well too. I wonder why they lost the war there would have been no need to write this article, the Chinese and Japanese would just love the ibo .
Just as Emeka has made a real snowballing of the word Education, so also Nigeria has turned education into a quagmire of sorts, that is you do get educated in the end but ummmm well sort of .
There was even a popular rap star called Eedris that made up a song that was a hit in Nigeria about a university lecturers antics with his female students with respect to marks in Exams.
�My name is bimbo ,bimbo owoyemi � was a particular part in the song that had a nice rhythm and this same eedris fellow also wrote another song about the glorious nation Nigeria in which he gloriously coined it �Nigeria Jaggar Jaggar, poor man dey suffer suffer, everything scatter scatter, Gbosa Gbosa , gun shot inna the air !� You get the drift in that babble of syllables and tones depicting controlled chaos.
This eedris and a host of his music friends I wonder how they would have made any records if my glorious nation Nigeria had not made itself �glorious� if you know what I mean.
These are cultural learnings for make glorious nation Nigeria .Sorry Mr Borat Nigerian English is not as convoluted as yours the problem is the fact that some Nigerian English accents can break mirrors , Haba !
Well twenty to twenty nines to tell you the truth if I were you I would join the long American embassy queue or any embassy for that matter, don�t worry the Iraqi embassy is an option as I can assure you that for a certainty there is no where in the world a Nigerian can not excel .
Another piece of advice, I would take up Chinese mandarin or bengali as a second language the reasons are obvious China is taking over from the British and Americans the rape of our resources via CNOOC oil Company .
Moreover mandarin will come in handy because for every five people on this here earth there is a chinaman and please when you get your visa make sure you don�t use Nigerian airways or is it Virgin Nigeria Airways because Nigerian planes are still virgins, no wonder they crash so often, too much load and tension.
If I were you I would take a bus or walk , it is safer ! why the name Virgin Nigeria Airlines ? They could as well have called it Richard Branson Airlines, Sir Richard could have kicked the backs of President Obasanjo and his cronies some more, knowing full well that Nigeria within the airline name might not attract a lot of foreign tourists very much. I heard only Nigerians fly virgin Nigeria and I hear the service is very very gloriously shitty .
There was this story I read in the English media that irked the living daylights out of me I aint no James bond but to use such a story to describe my glorious nation and call it sleeping giant to boot .kai ! they might as well have called it drugged sleeping giant !
The story goes that a commercial flight just after take off from one of the Nigerian airports all of a sudden bucked and amidst the momentary horror the plane had to land immediately to which all (Nigerian) the passengers broke into laughter when it safely touched down ! this was a few days after a plane crash that whacked out a lot of lives !
Now it comes to the thirty and upwards age group .The fact is that if you are still in Naija then there is a high certainty expressed by the equation below for X
Where X ~ infinity =x2 + e=mc2 = B
If the equation makes any meaning to you dear reader or any of the Science boffins out there because I aint no Einstein but using my common okoro sense. X is the certainty that good ole bongo might just be the place for you , just prepare for a nation without oils make benefits and hope for the best, expect the worst, in God we trust ! insha allah .
In the Next few weeks I will present part two and it is gonna be a shocker this might spike the stats to the embassy queues or mosques or church, at least there are many of the latter in my glorious country Nigeria .We will speak about the spiritual learnings in the third part of this series!
I hope these few cultural learnings have made for make benefit of the World for glorious nation of Nigeria.
Tank you so mosh
Emeka
This article comes from TOKUMBO.COM ! home of NeTcHuRcH from naija nigeria !
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