HUSBAND (9)

For faking the death of her former husband, Mr. Bayo Akinsete, has divorced his wife, Kehinde. Akinsete, 48, who resides at Odongunyan, Ikorodu, Lagos State, had dragged Kehinde to an Ikorodu Customary Court, seeking the dissolution of the 10-year-old marriage.

 
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He had told the court that Kehinde informed him that her former husband, whom she claimed she divorced had died before Akinsete fell in love with her.
Akinsete said that the union was blessed with a son, Joshua, adding that he was surprised when Kehinde, who had gone on a pilgrimage to a mountain within the country, sometime in 2008, sent a text message to him that she would be going to her former husband.
Akinsete said, "One day when she went to pilgrimage, she sent a text to me that she was going back to her former husband. When I received the message, I was so amazed that I had read the text many times to be sure of what I was reading. I was totally at lost because this was the same woman who told me that her former divorced husband had died long ago. The woman went away with our son, Joshua.
"She also was in the habit of changing schools for Joshua without good reason and this could adversely affect his education. I am no more interested in the marriage."
Akinsete requested that Joshua should be in Kehinde's custody for proper care as he is a man and had not remarried...
However, Kehinde, 40, a midwife, said she only changed Joshua's school once when she observed that the school's standard was low.
She denied faking her former husband's death, saying that her former spouse had gone to a war and did not return on time. Kehinde said that she decided to remarry.
She said, "Akinsete and I started living together happily. We were blessed with a son. But one day, I got a revelation in my church that I should re-examine myself. I was disturbed when the revelation persisted. I discussed it with Akinsete and told him that we could no longer live as couple as my conscience was pricking me about the revelation.
"We even afterwards stopped love making even though we were still sleeping on the same bed. When the fear of the revelation became unbearable, I moved out of the matrimonial home and sent a text message to Akinsete that I had returned to my former husband."
The Acting President of the court, Mr. Nosiru Isiaka, granted the dissolution of the marriage and ordered Akinsete to always provide through the court, before 5th of every month N2,500 as alimony for Joshua's upkeep. This amount, he explained, excluded educational and medical bills. He also warned parties to keep the peace.
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It was a scene. Everyone was stunned; the unexpected had happened.

As the man and his bride were just about to be joined, at the Ikorodu Registry, his legally married wife stepped in with her lawyer and spoilt the show.

According to Toyin Ajao, who witnessed what happened in late January, Patience Balogun [not her real name] got a phone call from an anonymous caller who claimed that she [Mrs Balogun] had helped her in the past. The faceless caller told Patience that her husband, who had left the house that night on pretext of going to see somebody, was planning to get married to another woman the next day. The caller also gave details of location and time.

After this life shaking call, Mrs Balogun quickly contacted her mother and other family members who advised her to contact a lawyer, with whom she mapped out a strategy of handling the situation.

The action

While the strategy to foil the wedding plans is ongoing, Mr Balogun with his new bride were at the door of the court, waiting to be called in by the judge when his phone rang. It was Mrs. Balogun, his wife. They spoke for a while, and then he signed off with the usual ,“I love you and will see you soon.” Unknowingly to him, Mrs Balogun was downstairs in the compound, with their two daughters, her lawyer, her mother, and a few friends and family, watching him all the while. Shortly after, the ‘couple-to-be’ were called in, but Mrs Balogun and her crew remained outside, waiting for the right moment.

Just as the magistrate was about to pronounce Mr. Balogun and his bride, husband and wife, the lawyer walked in, armed with the first wedding certificate and asked the magistrate to stop the wedding. Mrs. Balogun and the others followed.

After looking at the wedding certificate, the magistrate stopped the wedding with the whole courtroom in disarray. Mrs Balogun, who was visibly furious, walked up to her dazed husband and gave him multiple slaps until he was moved to where she could not reach him. To the amazement of some on-lookers, she made no advances at the disappointed bride, who was quickly taken away from the scene in a car.

“There were lots of people who gave their confused, traditionally tainted and reasonable opinions about the shocking issue. Many felt Mrs. Balogun should have allowed the husband to wed the ‘other woman’ and then sue him for bigamy. Some felt she should have organised for people to beat the hell out of the husband” said Ms. Ajao, a women’s right and gender activist, who was at the magistrate to secure the release of her female friend from prison.

“I really commended the lady for what she did. So many women will not be brave enough to come to the court and stop the wedding, so they will allow their rights to be trampled upon. Some will say he is the man so what can I do. So because he is the man, the woman should just take rubbish. In my opinion, she would have let them get married then sue for bigamy. If my husband does that, I will divorce him and I will sue him for bigamy.”

General Awareness

According to Kate Ibeanusi, the programme officer, at Project Alert, a non-governmental organisation that is focused on protecting women rights said women in Lagos are generally getting more aware of their rights and more willing to enforce them. “I can say women are getting more aware of their rights. Today we have more women who are willing to talk about abuses they face in their marriages and they come to report. But then, some will start up the process, after sometime you won’t see them again and when you call them, they will say, ‘‘actually what happened is that he came and begged me. I think he has changed.’ And we ask them are you sure he has changed? What happens a lot of time is that some months later the same women will come back to us to talk about spousal abuse,” she said.

“The problem really is that a lot of men still have the mentality that women are just pieces of furniture; when you are tired of them you dump them somewhere and go for another one. Generally, we do not intervene in marriages without the consent of the couple. If a woman reports to us, we will call the husband to get his own side of the story then we talk to both of them together, then we will advise them on what to do. We have seen cases where after talking they conclude that they can no longer live together. They will decide on divorce. In cases where there is threat to life, we advise the women to leave the house.” In accordance with African culture, families usually play vital roles in troubled marriages.

Family meetings are usually convened to settle such matters when they arise. However, Ms. Ibeanusi said families are often not able to properly resolve issues of abuse in marriages. “Are families really playing roles well? Or are they busy taking sides? I have a brother. If she has a problem with his wife, it is easy for me to side my brother against his wife and so also her family will take sides with her. So at the end the day, all they will be doing is shifting blames” she said.

According Ben Ode, a lawyer with Project Alert, a man marrying another woman when he is still legally married, is bigamy, and it is a criminal offence with seven years imprisonment as punishment. He though it also applies to church and traditional marriages, the major setback is that it is difficult to prove in court.

When NEXT visited Mrs. Balogun about two weeks after her brave act, she said she has settled with her husband and was no longer willing to talk to the press.

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What Do You Do As A Woman If Your Husband Cheats continously ?


What do you do as a woman if your husband is a serial cheat and there are children involved? The question was put to me but I was stumped and I didnt have an answer.

1.Do you immediately divorce him?

2.Do you get your own back and start having affairs of your own?

3.Do you become a nervous, miserable wreck?

4.Do you pretend that it isn't happening & face the children instead?

5.Castrate Him ?

or any other other solution?


As far as I'm concerned, aside from the death of a loved one, there is no greater trauma than to find out your 'significant other' has been seeing someone else.

In light of the aforementioned, and in particular due to the current media frenzy detailing the astonishing, alleged/supposed 'double life' debacle of Tiger Woods -I am re-printing here (with some tweaking) one of my most popular articles while, simultaneously, one by one his so-called mistresses seem to keep coming out of the proverbial woodwork to spill the beans on their liaisons. The victims in this tragedy are the children, and his wife, who never asked to be thrust into the national spotlight and dissected under a microscope and humiliated. Here, then, is one of my most-read and most-requested articles on the subject of 'serial cheaters'.


My personal opinion of married men who cheat is -- to kick them to the curb - the sooner the better. Of course, you have other options if you feel that you cannot live without the lying cheat.

These men have issues - deep-seated issues. These issues are not going to go away in a month or two. Sure, they got caught and now they are on their best behavior. But, how long will it last? until you start feeling comfortable - and look the other way -- then, one day - whammo...you're back to where you started from. The phone rings - the person on the other end just listens to you while you say 'hello'. No response. You finally hang up....wondering. Then, you quickly dismiss it. To ponder it too long might bring back unpleasant feelings and memories.

I was involved with two of these 'serial' cheaters in my life. I don't miss the pain of being in those negative, destructive relationships one iota. Yes, they made me wiser - they also made me older - in the respect that I wasted many years of my life on each one, thinking, or hoping, one day they would change. I realize in hindsight they were both deficient in a main ingredient needed as a building block in a relationship -- values. They were deficient in character, good character. They did not have the value system that I did. In my book, lying, cheating, manipulation and deception are not qualities you want to see in your 'significant other'.

I AM SORRY HONEY I WILL NEVER DO IT AGAIN I LOVE YOU !

sorry for cheats is not the hardest words as they are usually ready and willing to sorry and they always sound like they mean it !
No one wants to date someone who is a serial cheater. How do you know if someone is willing to cheat on you though? A number of different signs may indicate that someone has cheated many, many times in the past. Here are some of the common characteristics of serial cheaters.

HOW DO YOU KNOW HE WILL CHEAT ON YOU

Cheating in Past Relationships

If someone has cheated in a previous relationship, this may be a sign that they are a serial cheater. While there are some people who cheat once and never cheat again, the saying “once a cheater, always a cheater” is generally true in most cases. When you know that the person you are dating has cheated once or more, then you should know to be cautious when entering a relationship with them. Even if the person has not admitted to cheating, it is likely that you will still hear rumors about them that may or may not be true.

Lots of Short Relationships

Some serial cheaters remain in one long relationship with someone who they frequently cheat on. This is not always the case, however. Many serial cheaters have a lot of very short relationships. The best way to find out is to ask the person how many relationships they have been in. Also keep in mind that you will want to ask what the length of their longest relationship was. If the relationship was only a few months long, this may indicate that they do not have success in this department and it very well could be because they are a serial cheater.

Words and Actions

It is often easy to spot a serial cheater based on their words and actions. Anyone who makes themselves seem like the perfect person to get into a relationship with may be trying too hard. When someone is a really great person, they will not give you more complements than necessary or talk about a perfect future with you. If the person that you are seeing is insisting that you become sexually involved after one or two dates, this is also something that may indicate that they have been around the block more times than you can count.

Friends and Family

When you begin seeing someone, it is very common to not meet any of their friends or family members right away. Once the relationship is made official, it is very unusual to not be introduced to anyone that the guy or girl you are seeing knows. If you almost feel as though you are being kept hidden, it could be because you really are. Be sure to bring it up and if the person becomes defensive, it could be a sign that the person is really a serial cheater.

These are just a few of the signs that may indicate that someone is a serial cheater. The most important thing to keep in mind is that if someone has been willing to cheat in the past, they are also willing to cheat on you. Even though you may feel like you’re special or different, the truth is that you probably aren’t. Spotting a serial cheater early on will help prevent you from being the next brokenhearted victim.


Women, remember, knowledge is power! Stay empowered - stay healthy.

Hope to hear from you!
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Three sisters, one hubby: Twin sisters snatch their elder sister’s husband • And the man says, it’s no crime
twins-market[1].gif
The story of three sisters: a set of twins and their elder sister, who married a single man may sound like fairy tale, but it is true. The twin sisters, Taiwo and Kehinde and their elder sister, Mama Wale, married a man called Akomeji (surname withheld) about ten years ago and have all had children for him.

PHOTO:The twins’ wing at Gbag Itutu market

Mama Wale, the twins’ elder sister, was first married by Akomeji years before her twin sisters joined the large family. Mama Wale and the man’s marriage had produced three children. Things went smoothly with the nuclear family until Mama Wale decided to bring her two beautiful younger twin sisters to her matrimonial home because their parents were had died and the responsibility of taking care of her twin sisters fell on her.

It was gethered that the twins were just getting into adulthood when Mama Wale accommodated them. They were to assist her in domestic chores and to be taken care of and empowered, in return, during the short time they would stay with her family. After the training, there were expected to either get married to the man of their choice or stay on their own, once they could afford it. They later got married as expected, but to the least of Mama Wale’s imagination: Her husband

AKomeji welcomed the idea and was very supportive to the twins.

He took care of them. He made sure there was enough food, clothing and even made effort to empower them by sponsoring their schooling and trade acquisition. His wife was happy, as it is indeed, rare to have a caring and understanding husband like him.

Another story

However, things began to take a different shape months later. Taiwo, one of the twins, started becoming too rude to her sister. Her twin sister, Kehinde, joined later in the act. They could look their elder sister straight in the face and tell her to go to hell if she threatened to punish them for failing to obey her instructions. Using her husband as threat no longer cowed the twins. They just laughed at her scornfully and told her they had equal rights with her in the home.

Attempts to make her husband tame the twins were futile. But that was just a tip of the iceberg. The bombshell that was to come later was that one of the twins was pregnant!. For who? Mama Wale asked, only to get a shocker that it was an in-house act, a home game and domestic meddling. “Ask your husband,” was the reply her younger sister gave her. Mama Wale had not believed her. She surely must be joking or acting a movie scene or better still going gaga! She promptly told the girl to go have her knots screwed.

Some days later, Kehinde, the other twin sister, also showed signs of being pregnant. Mama Wale detected it from her so much sleeping, laziness and spitting around the home. Were the twins going mad the same time? How could they become pregnant coincidentally under her nose? Is that contagious pregnancy or an epidemic form of it? They must reveal the men responsible for their pregnancies. That was her verdict as she was prepared to send them packing from her matrimonial home if they failed to own up.

Little did she know that she was planning the process of evicting herself and her three children permanently from their home.

The bubble bursts

Having chalked up enough courage, given by peps from friends and advisers, Mama Wale confronted her husband. She demanded to know if the allegation levelled against him by her younger twin sisters was true. The man did not waste time or mince words. He simply confirmed it and added that he wanted the duo to be his wives as well. A swell party, you may guess.

The world came to a standstill for Mama Wale. She has been betrayed, like the biggest fool on earth. She was both confused and upset. She made for the relations of her husband and reported the man’s ways to them. Tension mounted, as relations, from both sides rose and raged calling for the head of the erring Akomeji. He was undaunted and stark faced. He insisted on marrying them. The twins also agreed that he must be their husband. Case seemed closed.

“The whole of Gbagi Tuntun was at war that day. Everyone who heard the story rained curses on Akomeji and the twins. Mama Wale’s relations demanded the head of Akomaji. It took the intervention of elderly people to calm nerves. It was really a devil’s own day,” a trader in Gbagi Tuntun area of Ibadan, Oyo State, where Akomeji has his business told Saturday Sun.

Asked what later happened. The trader said that Mama Wale has since left the husband’s house for her twin sisters and moved on. Many elderly ones believe Akomeji must have used something to win the twins to his side. “He must have used juju on them for a purpose only he can reveal; that is the opinion of the elders”, the anonymous trader added.

Saturday Sun visited Gbagi Tuntun in the LGA of Ibadan. What was first noticed is that virtually everyone you asked know who Akomeji is. He is popularly called Baba Akomeji or akometa alankara. This is because he is a dealer in ankara wears. He has two shops in the market. This reporter went to the twins who are now married to Akomeji. One of them did not deny the allegation, but she refused to grant an interview on the issue. The twins are popularly called Ibeji Akomeji, (twins of akomeji).

The fair complexioned women are very identical twins and beautiful as well. They carried on with their business of selling ankara as if nothing ever went wrong.

Saturday Sun made efforts to speak with the man at the centre of the issue. Having been earlier warned not to call him Akomeji (harvester of two), the reporter called him his surname and he confirmed it. Saturday Sun also asked to know if he was the one who had married the twin sisters. He frowned and hesitated. He then asked how the reporter got to know about the story? He was assured he would be told that if he confirmed the story.

Akomeji insisted on knowing the source of the allegation before he opened up. The reporter continued and asked how he felt marrying twin sisters. He said: “That is not your business; your business now is to bring the person and I will tell you how it happened.”

The reporter had said: “Sir, I am not going to blackmail you, I will only tell your story as one of the wonders of life.”

He replied: “If you like, blackmail me, I have not committed any crime. But you will not hear my side of the story until you bring to me the person spreading such story about me. I am not denying the story but I must see the person who told you before I talk,” Akomeji insisted.

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After 14 years: Our sex life is still hot -Captain Mathew Ekeinde and star actress, Omotola Jalade Ekeinde
By Samuel Olatunji
Sunday, February 21, 2010
When they got married in an aircraft 14 years ago not a few expected the marriage to crash. An actress and pilot couple is a tricky combination. But against all odds, Captain Mathew Ekeinde and star actress, Omotola Jalade Ekeinde are still very much in love and the marriage is waxing stronger. Captain Matthew spoke to us on the marriage and their Valentine experience.

Photos by Kelechi Amadi Obi/Family magazine



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What does love mean to you sir?

I don’t think somebody has ever asked me that question; nevertheless, I think love means where you heart is, and where your heart is, is where you concentrate your energy. Love is giving your best to the ones you love.

Is Valentine’s Day of any significance to you?

My brother, all this Valentine thing does not make any difference to me. I don’t have to wait till it is Valentine to buy my wife a car or buy her a gift or let her know how much I love her. I do these continuously and it’s part of me. I think Valentine’s Day is just a day set out by white men to do something extra-special which is usually not the case. It is a day to look back on your love life with your partner and see ways you two can improve, what you can add and what you can do without. For me, it’s no big deal because there is nothing I’ll do to my wife on Valentine’s Day that I haven’t done to her on a normal day.

Are you sure this is not your own way of dodging Valentines gifts?

(Laughs) It’s not my way of dodging; it is just the way I am .But she’ll surely get her gift.

So, where are you spending Valentine’s Day?

To be honest with you, I don’t even know because I might not be in the country by then .I am supposed to go for a training course. Secondly, she is actually doing a recording, so I am not really sure if she is going to be around but if we are both around, I might take her out or do something extra-special for her. I know she likes Chinese food a lot, so maybe I’ll take her to a Chinese restaurant but I don’t think I am going to travel far because of Valentine’s Day.

Are you buying her any special gift?

(Sighs) Well, I have been thinking of buying her shoes and bags because she loves them, so I’m going to buy her shoes she has never had before but she doesn’t know about it.

What is it that you cannot do for love?

I can’t commit suicide (laughs). I can do anything for love, but I don’t think I can commit suicide for love.

How long have you been together?

This year marks our 14th year.

How have you been coping for 14 years with a celebrity?

First of all, I think it is God , because a few people have asked me that question and I have searched over the years and I’ve come to know that if she was not my God- given partner, I can guarantee you that we wouldn’t still be together today and that is the problem with a lot of married couples especially the pilot and the entertainer. If you want to compare those marriages that are not God approved, you’ll see that they don’t last a year talk less of 14 years. So, if I’m opportune to preach to singles, I will tell them to wait for their God-given partner because if they don’t wait, they’ll always fall apart. She (Omotola) is my God -given partner and that is why we both can tolerate each other and be patient with one another.

Some people say to build a working marriage, you should play the fool or you need to be a fool. Sometimes, do you play the fool?

No, because I think we are open and honest with one another. I get the feeling that my wife travels much more than I do and I’ve never had to fear whether she is cheating on me or something. I trust her with the whole of my heart, 100%. So, I don’t play the fool, there is no need for it. I believe I am straight forward with her and I believe she’s straight forward with me.

Are you saying that it has never crossed your mind that she may be cheating?

No. I don’t think about it.

But is it possible not to think about things like that especially when you are married to an actress?

When I say I don’t think about it, I mean, even when the thought comes, I just change channel. It is like when you are watching the T.V. and you switch to a T.V. station but don’t like what they are doing, you just change the channel to another station to see what might interest you. So, when the thoughts come, I’m like, it’s not possible and I change my mind and concentrate on something else or do what I have to do.

What is it that your wife can do that you can never forgive her?

If she cheats on me, I’ll never forgive her.

But someone said, you have caught her once and have forgiven her.Is this true?

(Laughs); That’s the press for you. For the past six years now, there is this rumor that has been spreading, they alleged that we were no longer together. In fact, when I went to Germany last year to do some things on our aircraft, I met some Nigerians there and they said, “Oga, why did you leave your wife now? We heard that you are now married to a white woman and she has a child for you”. I was dumbfounded by this statement and I had to tell them it wasn’t the truth. We still get emails and phone calls up till date asking why we separated and stuffs like that. So, it is not true. I have never caught my wife cheating, there has not been such experience.

Recently, some newspaper had it that she wanted to go for breast enlargement; I just don’t know where people get these stories from. Some people just sit down, write a story and publish it on the net, waiting to see how people will react. My wife does not have the intention of doing breast enlargement, neither have I caught her in any unfaithful act. They are all rumors.

Are you beating your chest that your wife has never cheated on you?

I am not only beating my chest, I’m beating the back of the chest too. (both laugh)

Somebody once alleged that you are a flirt, is this true?

Have they caught me before? If I am a player, that means I am a regular player and if I am regular, I am bound to slip once if not twice. So, if they think they’ve got evidence, they can show it.

Are you saying you have been absolutely faithful?

I have been trying my best. No one is perfect but I am trying. There is nobody that doesn’t get tempted. I am sure all married men had instances where they see a pretty lady and they wished they weren’t married but the next step you take after the temptation is what distinguishes you. My wife is not the only pretty woman in Nigeria. I have had instances where is see pretty women and I am like, I wish I had this one. It’s a thought, so, I just move on and get it off my head.

Can you tell us about your love story so far?

Our love story so far has been great though it’s been quite challenging. Challenges especially from the press about things they write about her but like the bible says, those who know their God shall never be shaken like Mount Zion. So, for me, I know my wife and my wife knows me and like I said earlier, I trust her with everything I am. When these issues come up, we talk about it and we move on. Our love story so far has been good and I know a lot of people look up to us. So even when we don’t have any other reasons, we’ll stay together because of the people that look up to us.

How did you meet her and how did the loving start?

I met her in church. My immediate elder sister introduced us because I was ready to get married. Then my sister said, there is this cute girl in my church, although, she is a bit young. Tola, was just sixteen (16) and I was twenty-six (26). So, she invited me to their Wednesday service. I got there from work around 7:30pm when the service was up and I met her there. We were friends until she turned eighteen (18), but I have always liked her but I wasn’t really interested because of her age. When she turned eighteen, I saw her from another perspective and that was when I told her I was going to marry her. At first, she thought I was joking, so I went behind her back and told her mom because during our two years of friendship, I have known her mom very well.

So, you went to church looking for a wife?

(Laughs) No. I didn’t go to church to hunt for a wife, I went to church to meet Tola because my sister wanted to introduce her to me. So, I didn’t go to church hunting for a wife, rather, I went to church to meet Tola. To me, hunting for a wife means, to scan all the women in the church and finally pick one. I didn’t do that, I was only there to meet her.

How has it been with the press? Has any of those reports gotten to you?

Some of them give me cause for concern. I just wonder why people would go out of their ways to imagine things, just like the recent one that has been going on both in the papers and on the internet that she is going to New Jersey to go and do breast enlargement so that she can compete with Mercy Johnson. I don’t know why people will just sit down and come up with such a story, I don’t understand. It amazes me.

Have you seen anything that made you call your wife to ask questions?

Yes, when she played in the movie, Prostitute. That was the film where they showed a purely naked woman with her nipples, her buttocks and all that. She didn’t know and we bought the film like any other person and watched it. When I saw it, I asked her ‘what is this! That definitely can’t be you’. Of course, I know my wife’s breast and my wife’s body and what I saw was different plus the person was a lot darker in complexion. Immediately, she called KINGSLEY Ogoro, who was the producer, and she said, ‘Kingsley, you never told me you are going to show something like this, why did you do that?’ I also spoke to him and I told him it was unprofessional, to deceive your artistes after you have finished a movie.

Aside the movies, has there been any other thing that made you ask her questions?

No. There have always been rumors. A rumor had it that my wife wanted to do breast augmentation because she was dating Desmond Eliot. They said, Desmond did not like the size of her boobs, that they were too small, that he wants it like Mercy Johnson’s. So, that is why Omotola wants to go to New Jersey for breast augmentation so as to satisfy Desmond Eliot. (Laughs) I am sick of their rumors. They once alleged that she has gone out with RMD and some producers. One of the things I enjoy about the rumor is that, when they will report the truth, it will be too hard to believe. I have come to realize that most of the stories they write have no substance.

Does it cross your mind that it could be true ..?

No. Tola has been very fortunate with the press. They started writing anything after six, seven years of our marriage. She never got any negative story from the press during our first six, seven years. When it started, of course, I was concerned but I later got to understand that, they write these things because they are looking for what to write and if you are in the public eye, they will try to trump-up something that is not true about you to make the headlines. So, initially when it started, I was worried but when I investigated and found it was without substance, I just didn’t worry about what they say. They can say she’s sleeping with Yar’Adua, for all I care, it doesn’t bother me.

So, there is nothing they will say that will shake your marriage?

Nothing, though they have tried. If you have been in this media business since ten years, you’ll know that they have tried. There is no kind of story that they haven’t tried. I try to buy every magazine that has her story, either good or bad. I wonder why they continue to try.

Why did you decide to get married in the air?

Oh, excellent; that was my idea. I told her and she complied. We’ve always wanted to do something different and in the uncommon way. If you’ll remember, I was the first to start using a personalized plate number and she was the first in the industry when I bought her a brand new car .The number plate was ‘OMOTOLA1’. A few months after I bought her the car , Saint Obi bought the same car and used ‘SAINT’ as his plate number. I like to do my things in a unique way; I mean, everybody goes to church to get married, let’s do ours differently. Luckily for me, I was able to convince the MD of the Israeli airline (Sky Line) that I was working for then and I told him that it would be a marketing medium for airlines because I know newspapers and television will cover it. So, we got married because we wanted to do something different.

There is this tendency for one to be married and the love fades, when you get to that stage, what do you do to renew your love?

The good thing about it is that it is God’s doing. Don’t forget that it is not your doing that makes a marriage work. You do 10% and God does the rest because if you are married to your God-given partner, there’s nothing that can break you two up, nothing. Not only that, you need to be strong in the Lord as well. There are a lot of people that have gotten their God-given partner but they have allowed the devil to come in to scatter it. So, spiritually, it is God that is renewing it. Of course, there are times I don’t feel like I am 100 percent in love, but it happens once in a blue moon and for just few minutes. I mean there are times I see her maybe after taking her bath and I still get turned on and she’ll say ‘oh boy, you no dey tire? After fourteen years your blood is still pumping’ (Laughs). For me, I am not tired at all and the good thing is that she keeps her figure and that was why I gave her the nickname because the first car I bought her was ‘OMOTOLA1’, the second was ‘OMOT’ and third one, which is the Jeep, is ‘OMOSEXY’ because she has got this sexy figure that is a turn-on for me.

What do you do to renew the love when you have a down moment?

I don’t do anything.

Some people will go on vacation or do away with the kids, what you do think?

I don’t think that will renew anything. It is all in the mind. It’s your mindset that matters. For example, If you and your wife are having a misunderstanding, especially during this Valentine period, and you took her to Dubai for a day, will that bring the love back? I don’t think so. If you guys were fighting from home and you had to go to Dubai because you have booked the flight like two weeks before the day and you go, do you think because you are travelling now, you guys will come back? No. So if your mind is programmed to always love your wife even when she is wrong or when she’s not happy, you’ll have a good home. I don’t know how to keep someone in mind, so when you offend me, I tell you immediately and it ends there, I learnt that from my dad.

Have you had a serious quarrel before?

Ah, I can’t tell you that.I can’t tell you that, you can talk from now till next year laye, I can’t tell you that.

I noticed that the children are in the boarding house… are you not scared that they might imbibe foreign values?

No, my kids are in a very good school and their school is costing me a lot…a beautiful school that they treat them like an ajebo. Too much of an ajebo self and they are here in Nigeria. It’s a private school and we see them once every month. It is just the last one that is with us because he is not old enough to go to secondary school.

Has sex actually become boring for you and your wife?

If I tell you this you may not believe but God is my witness, 14 years on sex with my wife is not boring, you can understand why I could dig deep to give her that name omosexy. When you find something sexy can you be tired of it? You see the same appetite a man has to look for different women because they are bored with one, is the same appetite I use in looking at her all the time . That is why I gave her that name and like I said she has managed to keep her figure even after four children …she is looking more gorgeous. That is the truth my brother.

So despite the fact that you said it is not boring, why do you get tempted and you still fall sometimes?

Well I don’t fall, if you say I have fallen that means I’m done but I have not fallen.

So you’ve not fallen to the hands of another woman?

No.The bible says resist the devil and he will flee.

Sometimes you see the devil and you don’t want to resist him…

(Laughs) I agree with you my brother, that is why I said for me the way I have decided to handle it is that when I see them I think… yes you can admire but I move on. By the time you stay concentrating on looking at the woman and you are admiring her and by that time you know you are lusting after her, before you know you are tempted to say ‘Hi’. That is where the problem is but if you discipline yourself, there is no crime in admiring a girl after all, when we go out, she’ll say, ‘men that guy is fine o’ and I’ll say he’s a fine guy. So, for me, that is the way I have trained myself to deal with it; I admire and I move on.

Has money been an issue before because your wife once said that romance without finance is not sweet, what’s your take?

Well, she can say that now because I am there buying her all the cars. (Laughs) If I didn’t have the money to buy her a thing, I don’t know what would have happened; but then, she’s a well brought up child; there is no woman that doesn’t like to be pampered, there is no woman that doesn’t like money, there is no woman that wants to suffer; but I thank God that we are both independent. In fact, it is one of those things we’ve never argued about from day one. Sometimes, when we talk about it, I call her attention and say, ‘OMOT’; you know we have never argued about money? The reason is simple, my salary and my allowances as a captain is paid into an account that she has access to and her money is also paid into that account. So, what we do is that, whatever project we have, either to build a house or buy a car, travel abroad and stuffs like that, we’ll put it in our monthly budget and if the money we have in the bank is not enough to cover to budget, we sit down and sort out things we can eliminate or carry over till next month. So, we do it together and that is one reason why we have never quarrelled over money matter. We are open to each other, we know how much we have and then we do things together and that is where some people have problem.

Do you maintain a joint account?

Yes. All our joint accounts and current accounts, our shares, our house, our cars bear our names, Matthew and Omotola Ekehinde.Yes because we have learnt and by God’s grace, we watch T.V. programmes and we hear what’s happening. It has been in my upbringing because if you are open from day one, there is nothing that can bring you back.

Do you foresee anything breaking your marriage?

Only God can and I am sure He won’t because the Bible says “what the Lord has joined together, no man should put asunder” I trust my wife to the extent that, even if she’s in bed with a man, naked, nothing can happen. (Chuckles)

When did you put that thing there?

I will not tell you, when you see God, you ask Him. She can go anywhere in the world, act a nude film, of course, she can never act nude, but just for the sake of argument, if she’s in bed, naked with seven men, nothing can ever happen; that is how confident I am.

It started from day one. She knows; it is just like saying, if you eat this thing, you will die, so if you don’t want to die, will you go and eat it?

What is your advice for married couples?

Well, the first advice I have for them is that, they should stick to the Lord; they should continue to have the fear of God in them. God will show you how to treat your spouse, how you guys can live in harmony, how you can raise your kids, how to relate with your relatives. So, the first thing any person that wants to get married should do, is to seek the face of God because marriage is a life-long thing. So if they can observe a three- day fasting and prayer session and have their Pastors pray with them they will succeed. Once they can pray and God gives them the go-ahead they should proceed. Also, they both need to be disciplined because the devil is always at work, they must learn to resist temptation
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why Nollywod Stars Divorce

The topic of divorce is no longer new; it has remained a subject of discussion for some time now. But a celebrity divorce rings a bell. There is a belief that if a very well known spouse manage to succeed in marriage for at least five of marriage, they’ve arrived at very important event in their marriage. Anytime, famous people or celebrities make current event in media headlines with their quarrelsome attitude with continuous public outrage, no doubt that the public is excited with the close relationship being disclosed. Apart from that, why those couple colored like gold divorce nearly after honeymoon remains unanswered.

The Type of Job

Majority of notorious marriage in Nollywood appear to be those that begun on the assigned films. Going on for a lengthy period of time, from elsewhere and closeness that foster close relationship. Most people in ordinary jobs always agree how simple it is to relate with colleagues who share a common interest or profession.

The reason is understandable: if you are a celebrity having paid jobs in a little or no personal privacy of category brings the needed environment for involving in sexual relation with someone other than your married partner. Functioning intimately at work with others on any task that needs much bodily contact and emotionally inspired ability that frequently attracts fellow celebrities. Two people with common goals have the tendency of being separated from one’s husband or wife (on regular basis) --- and divorce appears to be irresistible.

The News

You and I understands that dangerous love affair in Nollywood on the headline news attracts almost every reader. The scandal seeking media is always on the lookout for shocking or scandalous news to make their living. As soon as celebrities embrace each other, the pictures are almost automatically published or later on, on the internet! A welcoming embrace, light kiss on the cheek, any unusually greetings can speak volume as deadly love affair to the public and freelance photographer. They just repeat somebody’s statement within and a succulent title for newspaper article is begun. Only a fraction of those stories will go round and it is enough to trigger off crisis for married celebrities. When the marriage is not promising as they initially believed, the spouse is usually divorced, or become irreconcilable.

From http://lovergist.com

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advertisement It is a strange world we live, where friends snatch their friends' husband Our writer today needs your advice to go on with her life after her husband left her for her best friend. Please, read and advise her. Thanks, My name is Funmi. I met my husband in Ondo State after my NCE programme. We were friends for sometime but later things started getting serious between us. Dare was very understanding and caring and, moreover, we are from the same town. This earned him my family's love. Dare was not educated; he dropped out of school because of financial constraint. I didn’t see that as a problem because I believe Dare would go back to school when things get better for him. In the interim, he learnt tailoring somewhere in town. The love I had for him then did not allow me to see anything wrong in what he was doing. I got transferred to Ibadan to teach in a primary school and, after, I persuaded Dare to join me so that we could continue our relationship. He did not agree at first, but after so much persuasion, he agreed. We started living together. For about three years, Dare could not lay his hands on anything; he was always complaining that there were no customers. When things did not get better, he said he wanted to be a cab driver, I agreed with him and we saved some money and bought him a Mistibushi car. After some months, I discovered that I was pregnant and well, Dare did not deny this and he was ready to marry me. My parents were not happy with me because I got pregnant before marriage, but because Dare was ready to have my hand in marriage they had no choice, they conceeded. The wedding day was fixed and we started preparing. I called my childhood friend, Funke, to inform her of my intentions and also to ask her to be my chief bride’s maid. Funke had been in Ibadan before I relocated there. She and I went for shopping in preparation for the wedding. Funke was very supportive even after the wedding, she was a shoulder to lean on. Our friendship took another dimension after; we got closer. I forgot to tell you that she was a fashion designer too and things were quite okay with her, so I advised her to try and get a man to settle down with and to this, we started praying for a God-sent man who would be her husband. In due time, God answered our prayers; a brother to one of her customers showed interest in her and after some months, they did introduction and started living together; this was when I had my first baby, a girl. Just like a true friend, Funke played a prominent role during the naming ceremony; it was as if it was her child and after some months, she also became pregnant, and my advice to her as a friend was that she should formalise the wedding so that she would not have the baby out of wedlock. She took my advice and got married. After some years, my husband started behaving funny; he started keeping late nights. He neglected his responsibilities at home and stopped caring for the children. I became worried over this and raised the issue with him, but all to no avail; he wouldn't bulge. I was itching so much to pour out my mind to someone but I couldn't since Funke rarely came visiting like before and I was also very busy with my work. However, I went to our home town to report Dare to his people; I didn't know I was digging the grave for my marriage. By the time I got home, Dare had completely abandoned the children and went away. The children later told me that he came the night I left for Ondo, asked after me and went ahead to pack some of his clothes and went out that night. I was perplexed when I heard this. Where could he have gone to? Nobody knew his whereabouts. I tried to look for him, but to no avail. On a fateful day, Lekan, one of my children, said he saw him around Funke’s place at night. My heart beat with hope and I thought I had found my man. But the boy reported that when Dare saw him, he didn’t say anything but went in quietly into Funke’s apartment. I was shocked and confused and wondered what he could be doing in Funke’s flat at that time of the night. When Lekan sensed I was very worried he let the cat out of the bag. He said one of Funke's sons in his school had told him secretly that Dare had been in their house all these while. I was so confused at that piece of information that I almost ran crazy. I cried myself to sleep that night. The following morning, I decided to see Funke to confirm what Lekan had told me. To my surprise, I saw Funke with a bulging tummy! Of course, she couldn’t have been impregnated by her husband who had been in London. She was shocked when she saw me but she summoned courage and confronted me when I asked about Dare. To my utmost shock, Funke ordered me out of her house and warned me not to come there again. She shouted on me and called me all sorts of names. I was dumbfounded even as passersby were asking me what happened, I couldn’t say anything. I couldn't believe Dare and my best friend could connive to do this to me. I accepted my fate and pulled myself together. I knew I needed the strength to bring up my children and to continue with my life. I got closer to God. However, I later learnt that Dare and Funke had packed out of the house to live in a street, not quite far from ours. Funke gave birth some months after and had a baby boy. I learnt that some people in our street attended the naming ceremony. I didn't allow that to bother me as I was ready to go on with my life without him. It wasn't long after this, that I heard the rumour that Dare was sick and was admitted to a hospital. I pitied him and wanted to go and see him, but I didn't want Funke to see me and start calling me names. Things, however, did not get better for him because he died after some weeks. I felt terrible and cried bitterly. As if this was not enough, some weeks after, Funke also died mysteriously. Taiwo, this was the last straw that broke the camel's back. People on the street believed I did something; they accused me and called me a witch, alleging that I was the brain behind their deaths. This was enough pain for me and my children. How could I have done a thing like that, after all he left me and my children and met his end. How am I to be blamed? Please, advise me on what to do.
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Caught on camera: naked love rival flees furious husband A naked man who climbed out of a window and hid on the ledge to escape his lover's furious husband has been caught on camera. Sun Meng has been given the cold shoulder by his community after the extraordinary picture of him cowering naked outside the flat were posted on the internet. The terrified 25-year-old fled from the balcony window when he was caught in bed with the man's wife at the married couple's flat in Chengdu, central China. Photographs of the angry showdown, taken by a startled neighbour, were uploaded to a local community website. They show Sun perched on the first floor ledge while his lover is confronted by her unnamed husband inside. "My family is ashamed and none of my own neighbours will talk to me any more," said Sun. "I know what I did was wrong but I was afraid he would kill me. "People are even laughing at how I look naked – but I have to point out it was a very cold day," he added. Chengdu, capital of the Sichuan province in south-western China, has a population of about 11 million. In 2003, the Chinese government relaxed its traditional hold over the private lives of its subjects by allowing them to marry without the permission of their bosses. The government published three lengthy documents dealing with marriage laws and population control.
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When husbands become unfaithful most wives find it very hard to stomach such betrayal. They go to any length to restore their homes which they guide so jealously. So, what solution would you proffer to a girl friend that snatches your husband? Advertisement 9jabook.com 9jamovies.com are the hottest sites in naija right now Amazing selected articles & Videos.Great music! and best of ALL YOU GET F.R.E..E AD.VER.TISI.NG CRE.DIT ! wow ! join now ! click to join 9jabook now where your space is really yours Excerpts: MRS. JOSEPH No, I don’t need to pay her a dime. I have no issues with her but with my husband. We will sit and sort it out amicably, mind you, sorting it out does not mean taking it violently with him, no. It is quite unfortunate and disappointing that despite the care and love showered on some men, they still engage in extra-marital affairs with other ladies or women, who may not have the smallest quality as the house wife, so why should I pay her? What I would do is to check myself and we will sort things out. Finally, there’s no need knowing the girl friend, I don’t want to know her for reason because she might be embarrassed at what I would do. DOLA AMOSU Such bargain has ruined so many homes rather than creating solutions. It has pushed many families into bankruptcy, structured some to the road of abject poverty; it has made some hypertensive. When a girl becomes too close to my husband, I would ask these questions: Who is the problem, who is the cause, my husband or the girl? Basically it should be my husband. If he does not give her any attention; she would have shifted her target to somebody else. If he threatened her, she would not try it the second time. So, there is no negotiation that can work out between the girl and me. If I give her money, she would come back for more, and when I fail to meet up, it would eventually lead to blackmail. So, I won’t start something I cannot accomplish. I have no business with the girl, and the only thing I can offer her is give her a stern warning to desist from my husband. The next point of call should be my husband, we both need to sit down and talk because he should give me reasons why he is cheating and also give me solutions to the problem on ground. I have no time to pet any irresponsible girl. I would not. IFEYINWA OKPARA Going by conventional understanding, paying off one’s husband’s girl-friend could be the best option to save some people’s marriages but to some other people, that will not work. Biblical wisdom is profitable to direct, it would lay the right foundation without option of pay-off or running into unnecessary debt neither creating an atmosphere for anxiety and hypertension. Paying her off would not stop her from her mission, but would rather send her the signal that she has so much control over your husband and your home. The monetary resolution gives her an edge over you. The wife has no alternative than abide by all the girl friend’s commands. On the other hand, the girl might agree to stop disturbing the man but what if the husband himself would not let her be? So, the best option is winning his heart over again. MRS. KOLADE ONIYIDE No, I won’t pay her a dime; rather I will call her and talk to her the way a good mother would talk to her daughter. I will advise her in her best interest to quit the mission if she wants peace for herself and if she wants to live long; because it is a curse for a young lady to date married men. If she does not yield to my warning, I’ll report her to her parents and hope that they will call her to order. If nothing positive comes up, then I would not be held responsible for any action I take. Although my husband has a role in this, so I will not apportion the entire blame on the poor girl. I believe some ladies who do such still find heart to heed to warning from anybody who threatens them. So, if my husband did not give her the courage to continue she will stop at once if not I might resolve to threats. IDOWU HELEN Paying her off or having a deal with her won’t make things better. There are instances where wives took such decisions, thinking it was the best way to bring sanity back to their homes, but at the end, they had to regret such deed. We have seen it in movies; we have also read about other peoples’ true life stories. In most cases, when this girls demands for money, they only make empty promises but they never let go. If I were in that position, I would rather let the world know about the illicit affair than wasting my money on a demonic girl. MRS. AMOSU No, I can never do such, because she has done contrary to the will of God. I would rather advise her for her life’s sake. But if she refuses to listen, then I would report her to God because if I don’t, she might use that as an avenue to extort money from me. JENNIFER ANICHO Absolutely nonsense! Paying off my husband’s girl friend means i’m scared of losing my husband to her. Of course, it is a sensitive issue, but i will not confront my husband, no! It has nothing to do with the girl. Rather it is the wife that should be patient and should use wisdom in bringing her husband ‘home’. I would pray and counsel him and also work on myself in order to ensure that I am desirable, elegant and clean inside-out. In addition, I will make sure that l always look hot and sexy. I should be able to make my husband jealous, protective and proud of me. PAT ALOYE I don’t think so, because this issue is between my husband and I, not the girl. In other words, I have no business with the girl. It is my role to talk to my husband, we will sit and discuss that, I don’t want to have anything do with the girl. ABIBAT LAWAL No, I cannot. It is left for my husband to decide whom to choose, he should make up his mind about it. If he chooses me, he must stop seeing her and cut off every contact with her. If I decide to pay, she might use that as black mail against me; that means the more I pay, the more the black mail and the more she comes for more money. So the best bet is to face my husband and let him decide the best thing he wants for himself. After that, I will commit everything to God. I would also remind him about our wedding vows to God and those present during our wedding. OSASONA YINKA I would not pay her a dime because she might use that as black mail and keep coming for more. Rather I would want us to meet personally and talk it over and to know what her problem is. If she claims she’s pregnant for my husband, we’ll have to clear it in the law court. No monetary negotiation or plea for her.
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