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love (27)
Good girls love bad boys?
‘Why do good girls love bad guys?’ was one interesting article once posted on the web. This is one big question I found myself running from for a long time as it does not only scare me, it also reveals an amount of evil that resides in me and puts to shame my ‘goodness’. This is one question I have been unable to answer since. I have, at some point, fallen victim to this malfunction and so I am eager to discuss it with other girls. Why do a lot of good girls fall in love with the guy with the guarded eyes, mysterious ways, callous attitude, ‘devil may care behaviour’; what exactly is the attraction?
Why is it so difficult for the ‘good girls’ to just fall in love with the ‘good guys’? Oh, how ethereal will that be! Enough of all these Mills and Boons lifestyles/stories we have been brought up to believe, bad guys cannot make good husbands SIMPLE!
Facing facts
You have got to face it. A guy who does not give a hoot about the terrible menstrual cramps you endure month after month, will not be moved by the labour pains that grip you at childbirth! If a guy does not have the decency to call you every day in a relationship, you will not expect him to be accountable to you by the time you have gained 20 pounds in marriage! A guy who severally refuses to introduce you to his family as a girlfriend but delights in making out with you at the backseat of his car at night does not deserve you! Not forgetting the fact that he will not take you out on romantic dates after your ‘perfect size 8’ has forgotten its number.
My thoughts
In my little time on earth. I have surely seen the good, the bad and the ugly side of men. My advice to all the good girls including myself is that we henceforth boycott the ‘bad boys zones’ because they surely stand up to no good! They are wicked, selfish, childish (forget the muscles), and they do not deserve our love. I have this song on my phone by Frank Edwards — ‘You are beautiful’. This song stresses the fact that we are too beautiful, too intricately created to be mishandled, that means we need the love of the good guys in our lives.
Here is this problem, I have sampled the opinion of a lot of girls, and what I have heard is so discouraging. A lot of them believe that the good guys are boring, wimpy and not manly enough. Can someone please tell me the relationship between being good and being boring, have they become synonymous? Because the last time I checked, they were not the same, so why do we foolishly create this synergy between goodness and boredom.
As for me, I have strongly decided to give the next good guy in my life a big chance because I need him, as the flower needs the sun to bloom, so I do seriously need him. Enough of this evil magnet which keeps attracting me to that guy with guarded eyes and nonchalant ways. With this decision comes another challenge, how do I get this good guy? Because they are so scarce nowadays, the streets are filled with ‘bad guys’. They populate churches, they are the smooth talking brothers on the pulpits, and they are the tongues-speaking guys in church who will not stop ogling at the slits of your skirts. They are the Bible-carrying dudes who keep leading you on till eternity comes!
The Biblical stand
I recently stumbled on a chapter in the Bible which talks about being a wise girl and not walking as the unwise. In this chapter, I suddenly discovered that it’s simply not enough being a good girl, take a step further by including God in all things. I mean all things like your racing heartbeat whenever the so-called guy is around, those needy moments when you desperately want a man’s arms around you, those times you feel so sexually charged and don’t know what to do about it. Be a wise girl and talk to God about all these issues. He understands, He knows your struggles, He loves you so much that He is so interested in giving you that godly, good, romantic man who appreciates you and is willing to walk this life with you. Do not be in a haste to be loved by someone, remember God loves you, and I personally think that tops even a man’s love. Get to know yourself, love yourself, love God! Today, be a wise girl and delete the bad guy’s digits on your phone and embrace the good guy!
By Tolulope Odeyemi 234next.com
MEN BEWARE! •More women buy love charm in lipstick, powder
By RACHAEL AGUNTA
Owerri Road in Asata area of Enugu is as popular as they come. A place where so many things take place, it is always a beehive of activities. On both sides of the road are various business concerns including Bureau de Change, bakeries, restaurants, suya spots among others. However, one shop stands out from the rest. Situated at No 15, it has an inscription: Spiritual Shop. It is an old building with signs of wear and tear. The paint has faded and the structure begging for attention. Despite the condition of the building, customers are always trooping in and out of the shop. And most of them are women.
Saturday Sun investigation revealed that the shop is a place, where women solicit spiritual help to cage men. With the spiritual support as it were, the women ensnare men and turn them to toy to be manipulated at will. The patrons of the spiritual outfit target randy rich men in the society. When the under cover reporter visited the shop, all the elements were in place. Pretending to be in need of the spiritual wares, she told the shop owner that she wanted a ‘package’ that would get her attracted to men and also open their purse.
The owner of the shop confided in her, assuring her that the stuff he deals in has the efficacy to achieve the desired result. Boasting that he has been helping women like her over the years to charm men, he maintained it is effective hence “a lot of girls are always coming here to do it”. The man, who simply identified himself as Jonny, volunteered that he has different brands and specifications of the spiritual products. Explaining the various types available, he said some come in form of lipsticks. According to him, “ if you apply it and a man kissess your lips, he will give you whatever you ask from him”. The cost is N8000.
When the reporter brought out some money from her purse and started counting same, Johnny became convinced that she was actually interested. He then suggested that there was another one called ‘Love me alone Kit’. The kit, which could be used in different ways, also costs N8000. He said that the content was in power form and usually applied on the private part “and any man who makes love to me would do whatever I request him to do.
And if I want to have a man permanently, there is a mirror in the kit that would help me to achieve that. He said I would write the name of the man on a paper, call him seven times and place it in front of the mirror. I will also write my own name, call it seven times and place it at the back of the mirror. With this, the man would forget every other woman even if he is married.”The ‘spritualist’ described the product as “a bomb and that there is no day girls do not come here to get it”. While the reporter was there, young and not so young women were trooping into the shop to buy one product or another.
Oronto Douglas, the special assistant to the president on strategy, expresses optimism that his boss has done enough to win.
Why Jonathan deserves the votes of Nigerians
Because his story is one that most Nigerians can relate to. It is also one that best illustrates the positive attributes of this nation. He never had opportunity of shoes when he was going to school, just like millions of Nigerians. He had no school bag to put his school notes in. He had to trek kilometres to get to school. Yet he never despaired, in his words. He showed fortitude, like millions of ordinary Nigerians. There are problems besetting Nigerians, but they continue to strive to better their individual lots. So a man of that pedigree, who did not allow the circumstance of his youth to stop him from achieving his goals in life, represents the best aspiration of Nigerians. Of course, he also enjoys the support of God, without which most of his achievements would not have been possible..
There has been a visible hand of God in Jonathan’s life. I think 99.9 percent of Nigerians can identify with that. He is a president that every household can look up to and be filled with hope, that their child who is today selling akara or carrot can tomorrow be president of the country. Mr. Jonathan has also promised to make sure that the infrastructure that will make that possible is put in place in the next four years that he will be in power. His emergence has rewritten the story of who can lead Nigeria. He has shown that Nigeria is a nation for all, rather than for a section or a clique. I also think if you give Nigeria to people who will sell the destiny of the country, then we will be in bigger trouble. The president has consistently said all he has is in Nigeria. He schooled in Nigeria and his children are being schooled in Nigeria. This is not to disparage those who schooled abroad, but it is where your heart is that you will defend at all cost. So in terms of commitment, I can confidently say there are few Nigerians as devoted to this country as President Jonathan. I respect all the other presidential [candidates], but we are saying at this time in our history, this man that has been in office for the past nine months and has laid out plans to rescue the nation is best placed to execute the plan and that man is President Jonathan.
Friction within the PDP following the primaries
The PDP is seen by many as a party whose ticket is halfway to getting to office. But people should know that this is a new PDP, where the most popular and competent candidates are picked to run elections. However, in places where there are constitutional issues, the strategy that President Jonathan and the PDP are adopting is dialogue. I can tell you that with respect to Ogun State, there was a time the president did not sleep for two days. He held meetings with the Jubril Martins Kuye and Gbenga Daniel groups and, at a point, brought all of them together at the Villa. The president is a man of peace and always tells people, “I have no enemies to fight. I want all of us to work together.” You remember that after presidential primaries, which he won, he still went out of his way to drive to Adamu Ciroma’s house to have a discussion with a view to keeping the party together. His view was that a statesman of Ciroma’s stature cannot be ignored. He also wants to be president of all, not president of a section or region.
Criticism of president’s ‘rascal’ comment
In the statement, the president praised southwesterners for their sophistication and high level of education. If a statement regarding that is being taken out of context and used for political purpose, it is unfortunate. The President, as a true statesman would came out to say, ‘I take responsibility for this statement, I offer my sincere regrets in this regard, that what I meant is to celebrate the excellence, greatness and leadership of South-West people. It is unfortunate that one or two individuals are appropriating it and pushing it to mean insulting the most educated and sophisticated people. The president will never insult his elders and leaders. If you knew the president well, he always answers ‘sir’ to anyone who is older than him. He will never insult the elders, leaders and people of the South-West. Take note that the president is educated, he did his NYSC in the South-West, has friends from the South-West and is one person who never forgets. Some of those he did youth service with from the South-West are now working with him.
The scanty crowd at the presidential Kaduna rally
My observation is that the crowd in Kaduna had been sitting there from 7am. As at the time the President and the dignitaries arrived, people were very tired. Take note, they were zonal rallies and most of the people had to return to their homes. People came from Sokoto, Kebbi and Kano and I believe that in a place like that, it is like what happened in Port Harcourt, when the occasion ended, people wanted to go back to their buses and travel. So, if the day is getting dark, you will want to get back home. The zonal rally was organised by the zonal coordinator who is from Kastina. The president won 53 percent of the votes of the North-West delegates at the PDP rally. He may have lost in some states, but he won with 53 percent over all, meaning that he had overwhelming support of the people. Democracy is about majority. At the election proper, what the president needs is 25 percent and he got more than that in majority of these states. Ordinary people in the North-West love Jonathan. Why would they not love him? He relates with them.
Challenges of the northwest for PDP
Every other candidate has work to do in every zone. Buhari has work to do in the South-West. He has work to do in the South-East, South-West and in the North-Central, North-East and North-West. Is it everybody in the North-West that loves Buhari? Nuhu Ribadu has work to do in every single zone. So, the challenges are challenges that are not restricted to one person. Let me just say that we have a lot of people who will like to identify with the president, his history and all that.
Alleged poor performance of the PDP in the last 12 years
The president came to transform Nigeria. We believe the place to start is transforming the PDP and the president has started that work. The PDP as a party has been in office for close to 12 years. There are perceptions about the PDP that may not be salutary to Nigerians. However, the determination of President Jonathan is to transform all aspects of our lives. The opposition has been very careful not to attack President Jonathan as a person. So they have been attacking the PDP. Well, if I was working for the opposition, I would probably adopt that strategy because Jonathan is popular with the Nigerian people. So he is fully aware that the PDP will be attacked and at some point the opposition will also attack him. Look at the statement he made in Ibadan, for example, that was blown out of proportion. I am a beneficiary of Obafemi Awolowo’s free education. If I am advising the president, would I tell him to do anything against the South-West? The president did his NYSC in the Southwest and has a lot of friends in the zone. Would he now do anything against the people?
The alleged mismanagement of the economy by the federal government
The President has been in the office for nine months. He promised what we call the three Es. He looked at Electoral reform, Electricity and Energy security. He believed there cannot be good government if you do not have constitutional and robust process for selecting the leaders who will govern the country. In practical terms of electoral reforms, he decided, ‘let us practicalise what we are preaching.’ When the first bye-election came up in the Edo Central, he said it was one of the first test of free and fair elections. He told INEC and security agencies that what he wanted was one man, one vote; one woman, one vote; one youth, one vote. The president insisted on free and fair election and the ACN won. Edo State governor, Adams Oshiomhole flew from Benin to Abuja to congratulate and thank the president for standing on the rule of law and insisting on free and fair election. That is the benchmark for this election.
On energy security, it is important that we note that before now, people stay on the queue for hours, while some people sleep overnight in filling stations. People were sleeping three days, three nights in filling stations. Now, that is a thing of the past. Secondly, the same amount you pay for a litre of fuel you buy in Lagos is what you are going to pay if you buy in Maidugiri. There has also been improvement in power generation and this will continue to be improved upon over time.
Demola Adegbile met Olufunmi between 1980 and 1981, when she accompanied her friend to visit his flatmate. "I remember telling her that she looked like someone I want to spend the rest of my life with," he says. "If that's love at first sight, then, that's it."
But it definitely wasn't love at first sight for her.
"I didn't want to marry initially because the women in most marriages around me then had been brutalized, traumatized and suffering." However, she believed in friendship and wanted to have fun with him. Eventually, she changed her mind after finding out that he was "trustworthy, open-minded, sincere and caring". "Always, we talked about everything and I looked forward to being with him, so when he proposed, I couldn't resist saying, yes," she says.
Mrs Adegbile adds that her husband didn't initially have much money. "It was a bit tight," she says. But since money was not her focus, she contented herself with his numerous good qualities. "I cut down my taste as a single lady," she says. Prior to then, she had led an expensive life that included downing her lunch with a bottle of wine. Mr Adegbile was able to convince her that a bottle of Coke would do just as well until things got better. "He worked on me to help me see that the future was bright," she says.
Tough Times
The couple admit that they have had issues like other couples, but that they tried not to display anything in public because they wanted to maintain the image of a happy couple. For example, Mrs Adegbile confesses that her mindset of not wanting to be "under" any man initially affected their marriage.
"Being strong-willed," she says, "I always argued and wanted to have my way in any discussion." This often led her husband to switch off for days. She decided to change when she observed what she described as the "not palatable" result of always insisting on her way of doing things.
Mr Adegbile adds that they experienced other issues, the kind that come with two people with different backgrounds living together. "For example," he says, "she likes to sleep with the lights on and I don't."
Relationship Tips
Friendship is the first ingredient that Mr Adegbile ascribes their long-lasting union to. "At the time we met, I wasn't looking for a wife," he says. "When friends get married, they last longer." In addition, he set his mind on getting married only once and staying there. "Knowing that I couldn't leave made me try to make it work," he said.
Mrs Adegbile adds that communication is essential. "Keeping a secret is out of it. It kills the marriage."
"Our friendship makes it easier for me to communicate with my wife," Mr Adegbile says. "No matter what issues come, you can always resolve it," he says, adding that, every month, he took his wife out and they both wrote a list of things they didn't like about each other and talked about ways to tackle issues. Along the line, their lists started decreasing until they eventually disappeared, he says.
Staying Sweet
The couple say that they have never used sex as a weapon against each other. "I have a healthy sex life with my husband," Mrs Adegbile says. "Sex is not just having intercourse. Romance is the major part of sex." She adds that her husband prepares her for the "golden moment". He starts to make moves hours before the time. The inception of GSM and Blackberry, etc, have made things sweeter, she says, as they send "sweet nothings" to each other in advance.
"I call him ‘Sweet' because he is so sweet," she says. Her husband also calls her Sweet.
"Marry your friend," is the advice Mrs Adegbile has for singles. "Be open. A friend helps you have someone to share your life with."
"Loads of ladies and guys look out for husbands and wives in a way that is equivalent to getting another piece of furniture," Mr Adegbile says. "Marry your soul mate."
love, infatuation or obsession
From the time immemorial, many people have mistaken infatuation and obsession for love. People just don‘t know how to recognise and differentiate between each of these emotions. Incidentally, many singles are guilty of this. The universal misconception of each of these ideologies is one of the chief causes of divorce, single parent homes, and broken hearts. Read on to tell each of these emotions apart.
Love connects you to your partner in positive, enriching ways. Love is the energy you feel and exhibit which is used, unselfishly, to promote your partner‘s well-being, success and happiness. Love is much more than sweet nothings in your ear, sex and passionate feelings of longing. Love is concrete, measurable behaviour and action that demonstrates to your partner and the whole world that you respect and care for this person.
Words of love and romantic passion make promises to satisfy your needs and get you all worked up with the possibilities and the fantasies. However, love in action keeps those promises and satisfies those needs consistently and dependably until those fantasies become a reality. Loving moves your partner and yourself forward. You grow and develop and change to be the best you can be.
Infatuation and obsession, on the other hand, are the feelings that you must have or be with this person, no matter what. In many instances, this is someone you don‘t know very well, or someone that has flatly told you s/he is not interested in a relationship with you. You formed an attachment based strictly on fantasies of perfection or your wishes alone - no matter what the object of your affection feels about it. You cannot think, eat, or sleep without thinking of him/her.
Some people go off the deep end and become stalkers, calling and hanging up to see if s/he is at home, following them around to see where they are or whom they are with. The most dangerous obsessives are those that decide that if they can‘t have you, nobody will. Stories abound of obsessed persons that were shunned and turned around to become murderers.
Infatuation is superficial. One is usually infatuated by another person‘s looks, attitude and behaviour. When you know a person in and out, you tend to feel for him/her. This is pure infatuation and not love. Infatuation wears off fast and weakens with distance and time. If you are not in touch with your infatuated partner for a long while, it will tend to weaken and eventually wear off.
Infatuation is more common these days than actual love. One should know when it is infatuation and when it is true, romantic love, which develops slowly and gradually, while infatuation develops at almost no time. Those who rush into marriage learn by sad experience of self-made miseries. Infatuation is rushing into a bad decision, while true love is attracted to the total personality of the person. Infatuation is mainly interested in the physical features, which depend on a few non-sense things, while true love is attracted to most of the qualities of the one loved.
True love affects your whole personality. Willing to learn, adjust and change to bring out the better qualities. Infatuation is blind, illusion and fantasy, trying to believe that the only thing that matters is their love for each other. True love is not only interested in the whole person but that interest is growing warmer as the day goes by. In infatuation, the interest for each other grows between hot and cold, if not freezing.
It is on record that separation and distance make true love fonder; but infatuation will not survive the test of separation or distance but will seek happiness in another person. True love always cultivates to nurture the relationship, always complimenting, never dominating.
True love causes two different personalities to grow intimately together that even a short separation will help in evaluating that emotional love..
True love can easily resolve quarrels and disagreements for healthier relationship. Infatuation can ignite little disagreement into a massive forest fire, leading into permanent break-up. While true love is concerned with giving way to improve and build stronger relationship, infatuation is concerned only with getting and receiving from the relationship for personal gains and interest.
True love is always unselfish, always giving. Infatuation is always waiting to receive. True love dwells in genuine humility and sacrifice for the loved one. Infatuation dwells in human ego and castle of arrogance.
True love is always responsible, willing to pay the cost, willing to endure hardship and suffering. Infatuation is always ready to escape into the open sea of unreliability. True love is not love at first sight but the result of knowing and accepting the person just as he is. Love requires knowledge.
True romantic love distinguishes between a body and a person. Choosing a girl because of her beautiful figure is unstable criterion. She might become Coca-cola shape (in cans) in just the next few years. Selecting a guy for his physique and good looking face is a treacherous decision that may result in a lifetime of suffering. A person who easily falls in love with the appearance will also easily fall out of love.
True love is self-giving; it is not what you can get from another person but what you can give without expecting anything in return. The passionate desire for his/her body is not love but lust. Any prostitute can fully satisfy that burning desire.
True love can thrive without physical expression until full commitment for marriage. If your only reason for having a sweetheart is to have someone to hug and caress, you had better buy yourself a life-size doll!
True love seeks to build a life and permanent relationship of marriage. The objective and goal of any relationship is marriage. Marriage is a triangular relationship between God, a man and a woman, not a triangle between three persons. Lust will not settle for octagon.
True love embraces difficult and serious responsibilities. Marital responsibility is far more than money. It is commitment to love the other person come what may. Lollipops and roses have nothing to do with true love.
Terry G just announced on twitter that he is ok after the accident, He just needs some rest.
hitmanTerryG
I dey o. Thanks for all the love, God pass them, I wan go rest small!! Ginjah no go die. God guide us and One love my people! I appreciate
25 minutes ago
Previously:
Was He Drunk or high on weed ? With the latest takeaway of our Top indigenous Rap Artist Dagrin by Car Accidents .Terry G almost joined the crew of posthumous talents.See Dagrin here http://bit.ly/c2R9Xx
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Dear people get up in the morning grumbling do not understand what a difficult is routine, a basic attempt to to move forward in life, want to go to another country, to see another culture and it is very natural, I say that not all wat's shin is gold, the neighbor's grass is not always more beautiful, God Bless Nigeria with a beautiful country, with a fertile soil, trees, sea, oil, gold, minerals and much much best kind of human material North, South, West and East all pretty good pouple and they want the best i have one prayer to God Nigeria will find the largest most precious ore Mutual respect Yes to encourage each other to understand each other and give each other love then I believe nigeria will be a nation perched high above the rest like the Tower of Light !
so i wish you all peace love and understanding !!!
About two years after it stripped former anti-corruption czar, Nuhu Ribadu, of his police rank and dismissed him from service, the Police Service Commission, PSC, the agency with authority for employment, discipline, and posting of senior officers reversed itself yesterday.
In a letter dated 24 May 2010 and addressed to the Inspector General of Police, the PSC said Mr. Ribadu has been reabsorbed into the police in his full ranks of Assistant Inspector General, AIG, with effect from December 2008, adding however that he would immediately proceed on retirement from the police.
*Rank Stripping
In a July 2008 move, the PSC stripped 140 officers including Mr. Ribadu of their ranks claiming they earned undue promotion under the Obasanjo administration. Mr. Ribadu headed to court to challenge the move prompting the police authorities to fire him for insubordination in December of that year.
The police claimed he breached official process by going to court without official clearance as stipulated by the Police Act.
In a preliminary ruling on the case last year, Justice Adamu Bello slammed the police and said the provisions of the Police Act that require the aggrieved officer to take permission from the police authority before seeking legal redress were inconsistent with the provisions of the constitution.
Mr. Bello held that, by coming to court without the express permission from the police authority, Mr. Ribadu only exercised his discretionary right, as the provision does not make it mandatory for him to get the approval of his employers before seeking redress in a court of law.
*Police Act undermines individual liberty
"It would have been fool-hardy for. Mr. Ribadu to seek and await the approval from the authority as such approval may never come," Mr. Bello said. "To say that Mr. Ribadu must seek the approval of the police authority before instituting the action in court is inconsistent with the provisions of the constitution. Regulations 347 of the Police Act is inconsistent with the provisions of the constitution and is therefore void on the strength of this inconsistency."
The PSC letter reabsorbing Mr. Ribadu letter, signed by the permanent secretary of the agency, did not give reasons for the volte face but NEXT sources in the police reasoned that it was a result of an awareness in police circles that the December 2008 punitive measures lacked merit, amounted to a persecution, and was anyway going to fail in the current legal battle.
*Conspiracy Against Ribadu
Sources at the Force headquarters told NEXT in Abuja that the news came with shock and anxiety for many in the velvet rank of the police who were thought to have orchestrated Mr. Ribadu's exit in what was generally thought to be a malicious power play.
PSC Chairman, Parry Osayande, announced the demotion of Mr. Ribadu while the current Inspector General of Police, Ogbona Onovo, headed a disciplinary committee set up to try Mr. Ribadu. He never appeared before the committee because he had challenged the police in court.
This was later used against him in the PSC's definition of insubordination. With the restoration of Ribadu as an AIG, the former anti-corruption Czar is now entitled to pension and would receive all his entitlements and outstanding allowances due him as the period he was out of office.
*Asset Declaration Case
Early this month, the federal government discontinued the trial of Mr. Ribadu at the Code of Conduct Tribunal where he was facing charges for not declaring his assets while he was the chairman of the
anti-corruption agency.
Following Mr. Ribadu's controversial removal from office, and subsequent dramatic dismissal from the Nigeria Police Force, the former attorney general, Michael Aondoakaa, filed charges against Mr. Ribadu, accusing him of failing to declare his assets while he was the EFCC chairman. Mr. Ribadu, who has always denied the allegations, told journalists that his asset declaration forms were, "submitted on assumption of office in March 2003, and my exit from office in December 2008.
"I assert that there is no substance to this case; that my assets were declared. How could I have been confirmed for my position in 2003 if I did not submit an asset declaration form to the Senate, as all officers needing Senate confirmation are obligated to do?" he asked. He said the charges were trumped up basically to smear his name and persecute him because he had crossed some influential people while in office.
*Cleared from Watch-List
Last week the Nigeria's office of the International Police (INTERPOL), formally notified security and immigration agencies that Mr Ribadu has been removed from its security watch list, following the withdrawal of the charges against him by the Nigerian government. "I refer to the watch-listing of the above named person watch-listed for some specific acts. The charges against him have been withdrawn. The watch-listing has accordingly been cancelled," Mr. Nwodibo Ekechukwu, the Interpol anchor man, said in the notice.
*Doctorate Degree
Meanwhile, the Babcock University in Ogun State has chosen Mr Ribadu as a recipient of its honorary doctorate degree in law [Doctor of Laws (Honoris Causa]. The formal ceremony for the award is scheduled for the University's convocation ceremony to be held in Ilishan, Ogun on June 6, 2010. In a letter sent to Mr. Ribadu by the President and Vice Chancellor of the University, Kayode Makinde, the university said the award was in recognition of Mr Ribadu's "loyal breeding", "lofty aim" and "resolute courage" as well as what it called his, "fierce stance against corruption in the face of sponsored disgrace and certain death that has resulted into positive changes and global acclaim hitherto considered impossible"
Mr. Ribadu, was removed from the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) which he headed from 2003 to 2007, under controversial circumstances, escaped from the country and was declared wanted by the Nigeria police on November 20, 2009, after being accused of not declaring his assets as the chairman of the ant-graft agency.
*Returning Soon
Presidency sources said at the weekend that Mr. Ribadu is expected to resume "in a matter of weeks" in Abuja. As part of his remit, Mr. Ribadu will be the presidential anchorman supervising the broad anti-corruption platform of the country which includes his former agency, the EFCC; the ICPC; the Code of Conduct Bureau and other related agencies. Mr. Ribadu is, at the moment, winding up a plum fellowship at the Centre for Global Development (CGD), a think tank in Washington D.C. dedicated to international issues of development.
In a letter dated 24 May 2010 and addressed to the Inspector General of Police, the PSC said Mr. Ribadu has been reabsorbed into the police in his full ranks of Assistant Inspector General, AIG, with effect from December 2008, adding however that he would immediately proceed on retirement from the police.
*Rank Stripping
In a July 2008 move, the PSC stripped 140 officers including Mr. Ribadu of their ranks claiming they earned undue promotion under the Obasanjo administration. Mr. Ribadu headed to court to challenge the move prompting the police authorities to fire him for insubordination in December of that year.
The police claimed he breached official process by going to court without official clearance as stipulated by the Police Act.
In a preliminary ruling on the case last year, Justice Adamu Bello slammed the police and said the provisions of the Police Act that require the aggrieved officer to take permission from the police authority before seeking legal redress were inconsistent with the provisions of the constitution.
Mr. Bello held that, by coming to court without the express permission from the police authority, Mr. Ribadu only exercised his discretionary right, as the provision does not make it mandatory for him to get the approval of his employers before seeking redress in a court of law.
*Police Act undermines individual liberty
"It would have been fool-hardy for. Mr. Ribadu to seek and await the approval from the authority as such approval may never come," Mr. Bello said. "To say that Mr. Ribadu must seek the approval of the police authority before instituting the action in court is inconsistent with the provisions of the constitution. Regulations 347 of the Police Act is inconsistent with the provisions of the constitution and is therefore void on the strength of this inconsistency."
The PSC letter reabsorbing Mr. Ribadu letter, signed by the permanent secretary of the agency, did not give reasons for the volte face but NEXT sources in the police reasoned that it was a result of an awareness in police circles that the December 2008 punitive measures lacked merit, amounted to a persecution, and was anyway going to fail in the current legal battle.
*Conspiracy Against Ribadu
Sources at the Force headquarters told NEXT in Abuja that the news came with shock and anxiety for many in the velvet rank of the police who were thought to have orchestrated Mr. Ribadu's exit in what was generally thought to be a malicious power play.
PSC Chairman, Parry Osayande, announced the demotion of Mr. Ribadu while the current Inspector General of Police, Ogbona Onovo, headed a disciplinary committee set up to try Mr. Ribadu. He never appeared before the committee because he had challenged the police in court.
This was later used against him in the PSC's definition of insubordination. With the restoration of Ribadu as an AIG, the former anti-corruption Czar is now entitled to pension and would receive all his entitlements and outstanding allowances due him as the period he was out of office.
*Asset Declaration Case
Early this month, the federal government discontinued the trial of Mr. Ribadu at the Code of Conduct Tribunal where he was facing charges for not declaring his assets while he was the chairman of the
anti-corruption agency.
Following Mr. Ribadu's controversial removal from office, and subsequent dramatic dismissal from the Nigeria Police Force, the former attorney general, Michael Aondoakaa, filed charges against Mr. Ribadu, accusing him of failing to declare his assets while he was the EFCC chairman. Mr. Ribadu, who has always denied the allegations, told journalists that his asset declaration forms were, "submitted on assumption of office in March 2003, and my exit from office in December 2008.
"I assert that there is no substance to this case; that my assets were declared. How could I have been confirmed for my position in 2003 if I did not submit an asset declaration form to the Senate, as all officers needing Senate confirmation are obligated to do?" he asked. He said the charges were trumped up basically to smear his name and persecute him because he had crossed some influential people while in office.
*Cleared from Watch-List
Last week the Nigeria's office of the International Police (INTERPOL), formally notified security and immigration agencies that Mr Ribadu has been removed from its security watch list, following the withdrawal of the charges against him by the Nigerian government. "I refer to the watch-listing of the above named person watch-listed for some specific acts. The charges against him have been withdrawn. The watch-listing has accordingly been cancelled," Mr. Nwodibo Ekechukwu, the Interpol anchor man, said in the notice.
*Doctorate Degree
Meanwhile, the Babcock University in Ogun State has chosen Mr Ribadu as a recipient of its honorary doctorate degree in law [Doctor of Laws (Honoris Causa]. The formal ceremony for the award is scheduled for the University's convocation ceremony to be held in Ilishan, Ogun on June 6, 2010. In a letter sent to Mr. Ribadu by the President and Vice Chancellor of the University, Kayode Makinde, the university said the award was in recognition of Mr Ribadu's "loyal breeding", "lofty aim" and "resolute courage" as well as what it called his, "fierce stance against corruption in the face of sponsored disgrace and certain death that has resulted into positive changes and global acclaim hitherto considered impossible"
Mr. Ribadu, was removed from the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) which he headed from 2003 to 2007, under controversial circumstances, escaped from the country and was declared wanted by the Nigeria police on November 20, 2009, after being accused of not declaring his assets as the chairman of the ant-graft agency.
*Returning Soon
Presidency sources said at the weekend that Mr. Ribadu is expected to resume "in a matter of weeks" in Abuja. As part of his remit, Mr. Ribadu will be the presidential anchorman supervising the broad anti-corruption platform of the country which includes his former agency, the EFCC; the ICPC; the Code of Conduct Bureau and other related agencies. Mr. Ribadu is, at the moment, winding up a plum fellowship at the Centre for Global Development (CGD), a think tank in Washington D.C. dedicated to international issues of development.
by AHAOMA KANU
According to Adewumi Adeyemi Fabarebo of Magic Wand publishers, A Heart To Mend has come Nigeria and has been circulated across the country.
“I am happy to announce that the book is now available in major book stores across the country. You can now go to the book stores and grab your copy,” he announced.
“I am happy to announce that the book is now available in major book stores across the country. You can now go to the book stores and grab your copy,” he announced.
S and literary lovers who have been longing to get their hands on the new novel by new kid on the literary block, Myne Whitman can now heave a sigh of relief as A Heart to Mend has come to town. Last week, at the a media presentation, Magic Wand Publishing, unveiled the Nigerian edition of the debut novel that presents the gripping tale of a young woman finding her feet in the world and how her life intersects with that of the wealthy egoist she meets.At the presentation held at the Down Syndrome Association of Nigeria centre at Surulere, the organization that takes care of people living with Down Syndrome of which the author is a partner, journalists were availed a copy of the book and interacted with the representatives of the author who is based in the United States of America (USA) and was not present. One of the many questions that came up was if Myne Whitman is a Nigerian. Adewumi explained that the author is a full blooded Nigeria.
“The author's real names are Nkem Akinsoto, she is also known as Myne Whitman. She is a Nigerian writer. Myne Whitman is a name she coined herself while still in secondary school and is a play on the transliterated words of her maiden name, Nkem Okotcha . She grew up in the academic city of Enugu and studied Biological Sciences at the Nnamdi Azikiwe University Awka, in Anambra State before going to do her post graduate studies in the United Kingdom. undergraduate level in Nigeria, then went She presently lives with the husband in the US,” he informed.
A Heart To Mend narrates the relationship between Gladys and Edward and offers a unique reading experience. Direct and action packed, the masterful use of emotion and suspense will keep readers totally engrossed and guessing till the end.
Sheltered Gladys Eborah has spent most of her life in a suburb of Enugu brought up in a deprived single parent household after losing her father as a young girl. After finishing her education, she moves to Lagos to seek a job and moves in with an estranged aunt who now wants to be forgiven for all perceived wrongs. Gladys suspects Aunt Isioma abandoned them out of disdain for their poverty, and has the uneasy role of the bridge between both families.
Her new friendships and career achievements gradually transition Gladys into an independent young woman. Soon, she begins to fall for wealthy Edward Bestman who, though physically attracted to her, is emotionally unavailable. Edward is very wealthy, but he is haunted by the past of his illegitimate birth and other secrets he will not share.
The themes of premarital sex, social class mobility, and romantic ups and downs that mark a budding love are fully explored. However, Myne Whitman takes the story even further. Some unnamed people are about to take over Edward's business empire and Gladys is implicated. Filled with suspense and twists that will make one keep turning the next page in a bid to find what lies ahead, any prospective reader of this novel better be prepared to be taken through a jolly romantic ride through a beautifully woven story of love, friendship and victory in a Nigerian perspective as readers will be pleasantly surprised by the description of Lagos, the Nigerian stock market, and other business intrigues. Myne Whitman weaves an interesting story that elevates Nigerian literature to the next level. Adewumi urged Nigerians to go out an get a copy of the A Heart To Mend and stand a chance of winning so many appealing prizes.Giving reasons why she took up the name Myne Whitman, Nkem said she grew up during the 80s in Enugu, Nigeria. In an online interview, she wrote, “my earliest memories are of studying, reading everything I could lay my hands on, and then trying to play as much as I could. I have worked as a teacher, NGO consultant, banker, skate-hire attendant, researcher and Scottish government worker.
The young author said she started to write while still in primary school. “My writings then were about the kind of adventures the tomboy I was wished I had. When I started writing seriously later, I found my pen tilting to the romance genre. You can blame it on all the category romance novels I ran through in secondary school, and still read once in a while. The only difference was that I based all my stories in Nigeria, with local characters and continues to do so. However, I decided on a pseudonym and since I was writing in English, Myne Whitman was born.”
She describes herself as friendly, caring and fun loving. After a postgraduate degree and a few years in Edinburgh, Scotland, she now lives in the United States with her husband.
Myne Whitman is, however, a creation of her blogging. “I decided to start the Myne Whitman Writes blog because of the feedback I received from readers at my favourite online forum, Nigeria Village Square and from my writing group. I had a poetry blog on NVS and had been reading other blogs, but it never occurred to me to start blogging because most of the ones I read were personal blogs. Some of the members of my meet-up had blogs where they shared previews or excerpts of their work. They advised that I could start one to get more feedback on the story I was writing then, and know when it's ready for the market.”
How did she then create the niche as a writer? She replies, “most times, I’m very private until I feel I have established a rapport with the people I meet. So, I knew I could never start a personal blog. I used to read two writing blogs, which gave me an idea of what I wanted to do and they were by Favoured girl and Flourishing Florida. I’m happy I have been able to establish my blog as a story and writing site but it has just been luck. I salute all the naija blogsville members especially those who have stood the test of time and made it the community it is today.
“But horning my writing skills, I have taken some free online courses and workshops for Creative and Fiction Writing from the University of Utah, MIT, Open University UK and Suite 101. These courses are an on-going project. I am also a member of a Writing meet up group in my area, which includes traditionally/self-published authors and gifted writers/editors. The members were a great help in the course of writing A Heart to Mend.”
Thinking of her home country, she is not only looking for an inroad with student representatives in Nigerian universities, she thinks there is no better time to launch herself than the month of February. “This is just in time because the book will make perfect Valentine's Day gifts.”
The Nigerian author, last December, wrote a captivating novel that presents the gripping tale of a young woman finding her feet in the world and how her life intersects with that of the wealthy egoist she meets. This main story line runs through the subplots of a tear-soaked family reunion and high-powered company acquisitions.
The topic of divorce is no longer new; it has remained a subject of discussion for some time now. But a celebrity divorce rings a bell. There is a belief that if a very well known spouse manage to succeed in marriage for at least five of marriage, they’ve arrived at very important event in their marriage. Anytime, famous people or celebrities make current event in media headlines with their quarrelsome attitude with continuous public outrage, no doubt that the public is excited with the close relationship being disclosed. Apart from that, why those couple colored like gold divorce nearly after honeymoon remains unanswered.
The Type of Job
Majority of notorious marriage in Nollywood appear to be those that begun on the assigned films. Going on for a lengthy period of time, from elsewhere and closeness that foster close relationship. Most people in ordinary jobs always agree how simple it is to relate with colleagues who share a common interest or profession.
The reason is understandable: if you are a celebrity having paid jobs in a little or no personal privacy of category brings the needed environment for involving in sexual relation with someone other than your married partner. Functioning intimately at work with others on any task that needs much bodily contact and emotionally inspired ability that frequently attracts fellow celebrities. Two people with common goals have the tendency of being separated from one’s husband or wife (on regular basis) --- and divorce appears to be irresistible.
The News
You and I understands that dangerous love affair in Nollywood on the headline news attracts almost every reader. The scandal seeking media is always on the lookout for shocking or scandalous news to make their living. As soon as celebrities embrace each other, the pictures are almost automatically published or later on, on the internet! A welcoming embrace, light kiss on the cheek, any unusually greetings can speak volume as deadly love affair to the public and freelance photographer. They just repeat somebody’s statement within and a succulent title for newspaper article is begun. Only a fraction of those stories will go round and it is enough to trigger off crisis for married celebrities. When the marriage is not promising as they initially believed, the spouse is usually divorced, or become irreconcilable.
From http://lovergist.com
He pretends to be a nice guy who would readily offer a free ride to a willing female. But he’s actually a criminal whose ploy is to rob his victims. Olalekan Kazeem is currently telling police detectives in Lagos why he’s been going about the city robbing women of their personal effects. He was arrested by the police after one of his victims sighted him in Lagos. He is currently cooling his heels in a police cell, awaiting his date with the law.
Khadijat Ope was one of his victims. Her ordeal happened on a hot, sunny Saturday in Ikorodu, a Lagos suburb.
That day, she had waited without success for a commercial bus to take her to Victoria Island. Just as the she was contemplating calling a cab, a private car, a Toyota Camry, stopped and the driver offered her a ride.
The young man driving the car, later identified as Olalekan Kazeem, said he too was going to the island but that he had already missed his way.
The 23-year old student, who had gone to collect her West African Examination Council (WAEC) result, promised to guide the man.
Few minutes into their journey, Kazeem pretended that the car had developed some fault and stopped.
After alighting and examining the car, Kazeem implored the girl to assist him in pushing the car. The unsuspecting girl dropped her bag inside the car and climbed out. In the bag were her handset, some money, her identity card, a WAEC certificate and two ATM cards. But as soon as she came out of the car, Kazeem started the engine and zoomed off with Ope’s belongings.
That was not all. Through the girl’s data on her birth certificate in her bag, Kazeem got the password for the girl’s ATM card and promptly cleared her account at the First Bank.
Khadijat wasn’t the only victim. Kazeem also employed the same method to rob another lady, Jennifer Chizoba, of the sum of N150, 000 and other personal effects.
Chizoba, who spoke with Daily Sun said: “When the man picked me, he stopped on the road, saying that his vehicle was bad. He begged me to assist him in pushing the car. While I was pushing the car, the man zoomed off with my bag containing N150,000 which my relatives contributed for me to set up a business.”
Many other girls have been similarly defrauded by Kazeem. But luck recently ran out on the man who has for long made life unbearable for his victims. He’s now cooling his heels in a police cell.
Kazeem, who is currently singing like a bird at the Alapere police station was arrested when one of the victims sighted him at a car wash at the Alapere area and called in the police. He was subsequently picked up.
Recovered from him were five female handbags, 28 ATM cards, 12 identity cards, four national ID cards, two voters registration card, a Joint Matriculation Examination result, and other items.
The suspect who claimed he only targeted women told Daily Sun that he decided to start robbing them because he had earlier been robbed by a woman.
He said his journey into crime began in November last year. According to him, somebody had given him the sum of N160,000 to keep on trust at the Eko Le Meridien Hotel, Lagos.
Said he: “That day, I decided to eat at the Ocean View Restaurant. As I was eating, two beautiful young girls appeared from the blues. I approached one of them and I even paid her bill of N2, 500. I also bought drinks for them.”
‘Why I rob only women’
In his words, trouble started for him when he was fondling the breasts of one of the girls. According to him, he was sucking the girl’s breast when he slept off. He regained consciousness the following day, he said, adding that the girl might have coated her breast with a sleep-inducing drug.
While he slept, he said, the girl searched his pockets and collected all the money. She was also alleged to have taken his car keys and stole the N160, 000 inside the car.
According to him, the man who gave him the money on trust did not believe the story even after he had explained what happened and ordered Kazeem detained for a week at a police station in Abeokuta, Ogun state.
“My real predicament started when my wife came to visit me at the police station and a policeman told her how I sucked a prostitute’s breast. My wife could not take the insult, so she abandoned me to my fate.”
After his release, Kazeem said he decided to avenge his humiliation on any woman he came across. “Any time I pick a woman, I derive immense pleasure in dealing with her. I regard all my victims as prostitutes because a responsible woman would not be looking for a free ride with a total stranger,” he informed.
Kazeem has a word of advice for ladies. “They should stop looking for free ride with strangers. They should try to patronize registered taxis.”
The 37-year old Abeokuta indigene begged those he had offended to forgive him but said they should thank God that he had no gun when he was perpetrating the act as he would have used it on them.
Another victim, a model, Cynthia Kodu said the man had also applied the same method to rob her of her handbag containing handsets, N18, 000, underwear and make-up.
Lagos state police spokesman, Mr. Frank Mba said preliminary investigations have shown that the man has robbed over 30 female victims.
Mba, who said the man would soon be charged to the court, warned members of the public to stop patronizing unregistered taxis. “They should go to the recognized taxi parks to board taxis,” he said.
Beware of 'hot' love
Kemi ashefon.
SENI, 35, is heartbroken. But that was not her state a few months back. "Then, I was excited to have got a mate after many years of searching," recalls Seni. "Dehinde came and proposed to me. He had seen my picture on my friend's laptop in his office and decided to call. By the time we went on our third date, he told me he was single, was searching and was ready to get married within six months.
Live-in lovers, live-in trouble
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"That was what I needed to hear. Promptly, I started telling everyone who cared to listen that I was getting married. Dehinde was not talkative about it, but smiled whenever I told a friend or relative about our wedding plans. He said our honeymoon was going to be in the Caribbean and I would have to stay abroad and have our baby when I got pregnant.
"Though he had an old car he was using, he was expecting a contract worth billions of naira and would change his and mine. Little wonder, I quickly gave in to his suggestion that we sold my car, got a house and used a part for furniture. I was in love and all that he suggested were accepted.
"I sold my car, which was worth N1.2m at N700, 000. I sold my jewellery and my shares for the new set of furniture he desired and to buy him a brand new car. I was happy doing all this because I wanted a home and a husband. I was happier when our wedding invitation cards were out and eventually, we got married.
"I settled down to my new life, only to discover I was the third wife he would be marrying in seven years. Two other women had kids for him, but later divorced him due to his womanising ways. He confessed these to me when I discovered some strange text messages in his phone and some receipts of school fees he paid.
"He had five kids. After a year, he stopped coming home and was said to be dating another lady. It was a terrible year for me: two miscarriages, lost my job due to negligence, was broke and had to run back to my sisters for help. Just two months ago, I heard he was married again. I'm back to my single state and so scared to date again."
Seni was not the only victim. Mike, 32, met Meg at a party. "I was 32 and my mother wanted me to get married," he says. "Not that I was desperate, but I wanted to get it over with marriage and children so that I could face my career. Meg was 22, looked innocent and was an undergraduate.
"I fell head over heels in love with her and took up her educational expenses. I was shocked recently when she decided to call off the relationship. She confessed to me that she was seeing another guy, where she was having her internship.
"Though she confessed to have loved me, her other excuses were that we quarrelled a lot on the phone and she could not cope with the distance (I was in Abuja; she in Lagos) because she believed in regular physical contact. She confessed to have slept with the guy and left me with no assurance of coming back because she said the guy in Lagos was fun to be with.
"I was shattered and I stopped calling her. But she had not stopped calling me. She spent more than five minutes talking to me, but she didn't talk about the broken relationship and sometimes, she sent platonic text messages. Really, I don't know why she called me. Knowing that I loved her, she knew I would readily accept her back, but why would Meg play on my emotions? Do I stop her from calling me or not?"
With Bitrus, 33, and Beatrice 26, everything came in a rush and they did all things with the speed of light. Bitrus says, "I was posted to Abuja on official duties and while trying to settle down, I met Beatrice, who was a civil servant," recalls Bitrus. "She was young and she helped me with whatever I went to do at the ministry.
"Because she spoke my language fluently, we became friends and I knew my way round the city, courtesy of her. Suddenly, we became lovers and neither wooed nor spoke to her on marriage, but I thought I was in love. I didn't have any time with other women because she was all over me. At work, she called, before I closed, she would have arrived and made sure we went home together.
"She packed her things to my place and assumed the role of a wife without any of our parents knowing. I couldn't travel to anywhere but was always with her. She put a check on who I called, who called me and went through my text messages. But I have discovered that she would run after men, close late from work and abandon me at home. She would feign pregnancies and after three months, would declare she had miscarriages. I have fallen in love with her and would not think of leaving her."
Poets, novelists and songwriters have described it in countless turns of phrase, but at the level of biology, love is all about chemicals.
Although the physiology of romantic love has not been extensively studied, scientists can trace the symptoms of deep attraction to their logical sources.
"Part of the whole attraction process is strongly linked to physiological arousal as a whole," said Timothy Loving (his real name), assistant professor of
human ecology at the University of Texas, Austin. "Typically, that's
going to start with things like increased heart rate, sweatiness and so
on,"
When you catch sight of your beloved and your heart starts racing, that's because of an adrenaline rush, said Dr. Reginald Ho, a cardiac electrophysiologist and associate professor of medicine
at Thomas Jefferson University Hospital in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
Here's how it works: The brain sends signals to the adrenal gland, which secretes hormones such as adrenaline, epinephrine and norepinephrine.
They flow through the blood and cause the heart to beat faster and
stronger, Ho said.
The response is somewhat similar to a fast heartbeat while running on a treadmill, although exercise has other benefits, he said.
For people with serious heart problems, love could actually be dangerous, Ho said. That's because when the heart rate goes up, the heart uses more oxygen, which can be risky for
an older person with blood vessel blockages or who has had a prior
heart attack. But good medicines such as beta blockers help curb the
adrenaline response, Ho said.
It is also likely that norepinephrine, a stress hormone that governs attention and responding actions, makes you feel weak in the knees, said Helen Fisher, professor
at Rutgers University and author of the book "Why Him? Why Her? Finding
Real Love by Understanding Your Personality Type."
Fisher's research team did brain imaging of people who said they were "madly in love" and found activity in the area of the brain that produces the
neurotransmitter dopamine. Dopamine and norepinephrine are closely
related.
"What dopamine does is it gives you that focused attention, the craving, the euphoria, the energy and the motivation, in this case the motivation to win life's greatest prize," she said.
This norepinephrine response has never been precisely studied in relation to romantic love, but the system seems to be more activated in people in love, she said..
Also likely involved is the serotonin system, she said. Some data from an Italian study indicate that a drop in serotonin levels is associated with obsessive thinking.
The stress hormone cortisol has also been shown to have implications for love, Loving said. His lab showed study participants who had recently
fallen in love a picture of a romantic partner or friend, and had them
describe or "relive" the moment of falling in love or wanting to be
friends, respectively. Those who recalled falling in love showed an
increase in stress hormones such as cortisol even 30 minutes after they
were asked to think about it.
Generally, there are three brain systems involved in romantic love: sex drive, love and attachment, Fisher said. The sex drive evolved to get you to look for a lot of partners, the "love" portion is for focusing mating energy on one specific person at a time, and
attachment is for allowing you to tolerate the partner -- at least,
long enough to have children with him or her.
These systems are often connected, but can operate separately, she said. That means you can start out with one of them -- casual sex, or an intense feeling of
love, or an emotional connection -- and move on to the others. For
example, what may start out as a one-night stand may feel like more
because the hormones oxytocin and vasopressin, released during orgasm,
make you feel deeply attached to someone. You may feel in love after
that, or instead feel somehow responsible for the person, because of
these hormones.
Fisher's team has found that romantic love doesn't have to die -- they found the same activity in the brains of people who said they were in love after 20 years of marriage as in
people who had just fallen in love. This brain area makes dopamine and
sends it to other areas.
In the days of early humans, in hunting-and-gathering societies, these qualities were especially advantageous for finding a person to bear and raise children with, she
said.
Why, then, do small children fall in love if they are not trying to reproduce? Fisher hypothesizes that kids -- even 4-year-olds -- practice at love and learning more about themselves
before it begins to become important to them.
Love also has health benefits for people who have aged beyond their reproductive years, she said. Being in love makes people feel optimistic, energetic,
focused and motivated, which were all positive for health and societal
contribution in the early days of humans, she said. So, it makes sense
evolutionarily that people can still fall in love after their
childbearing period.
Romance also is good for you. Studies have shown that people who have frequent sex are generally healthier, with a longer life, fewer coronary events and lower blood pressure. A 1995
study in the journal Demography found that marriage adds seven years to
a man's life and two years to a woman's.
Loving's team is studying how people who have recently fallen in love respond to stressful situations. They hypothesize that people for whom the love is
still new will respond to the stress and recover from it quicker than
those who have recently been in a breakup or have been in a relationship for a long time.
"The guess is that when individuals are falling in love, they are walking around with rose-colored glasses," he said.
