The deal about abstaining from sex

Posted by Myne Whitman on May 4, 2011 at 10:50pm

When you have no one you love or care for, you easily convince yourself sex doesn’t really matter. It’s no big deal, you say to anyone who raises an eyebrow, or asks. I am strong you persuade yourself on those nights you go out with friends to catch that romantic comedy with those beautiful love scenes.

Hmmmmm. I tell you it is not easy. Abstinence is not what nature planned for a healthy human body. You hit puberty and the hormones start raging in your system. You read mills and boon and thrills and boon and sex is this earth shattering experience. You read Joan Collins and Harold Robbins and the raunchy aspects are described in titillating detail. The blood pools in certain parts of your body and you can’t wait to meet your own love and share sex with him.

Why abstinence then? You are a teenager and your body is so ready, more than ready. But you are filled with romantic fantasies of there being just one person with whom it would be special. You also remember all the sunday school lessons you attended and if you’re like me, what the catechist made you vow before your confirmation. The years creep by and you become mature enough to realise that you are not emotionally ready no matter how much your body screams for it. You go back to your bible roots and tap some strength from being born again.

Abstinence. Sometimes you ask yourself, what does it really mean? If you make out with your transient boyfriends, does that count? Afterall you did get some pleasure and maybe an orgasm or two from them. You recreate these episodes in your mind those days during your cycle when you are so easily aroused. And if you’re like me you put yourself in the dock those nights you wake up horny from the erotic dreams stalking subconscious. There is afterall that guy that wanted to be your **** buddy.

The years continue to pass and you still abstain. Some of your secondary school friends get married, get pregnant and you wonder at their new found confidence. Your university mates are sexually active and talk about all manner of stuff in your presence. Sometimes you own up to your inexperience and if the company is hostile, you brazen it out with knowledge gleaned from books. You cringe when they mention their numerous abortions, are disgusted when they crawl back to abusive BFs just for the sex and your decision is strengthened.

But does that strengthen your body? Not for me. A case of the spirit being willing and the flesh weak. You help yourself out sometimes and other times you go out with that guy that has been hanging around and allow him cop a feel. Most of the time though you stiffen your upper lip and go to sleep. Your guilty conscience makes you backslide. Furthermore, trying to get busy with church shows up the corrupt underbelly and you lose faith. The choirmaster and the solo singer are having sex so why do you bother? The pastor and his wife wear only Armani and Prada while Brother Puis and his family starve so why do you bother?

You are almost an atheist but you know that’s not possible. You hold on to your decision but it’s no more for God. Some of your friends you shared the pact with had either fallen by the wayside or gotten married. You’re approaching your big 3-0 and your closest friend tells you it’s only fear holding her back. It is no more strength of will. It is no more saving it for that one special guy. The other says its just that after rejecting all the previous eligible suitors, why give it up to some of the yeye people coming around now. What to do? Your crown has become a millstone around your neck.

Then that friend gives in to one of those not so eligible guys, and he marries her after a bit. She’s lucky isn’t she? He’s a bachelor anyways unlike the majority married men that trail after you like flies to raw meat. There is one left and so you console yourself. Then out of the blues, she calls you. I have done it. Done what you ask? Had sex and girl it is so overrated, she blurts. You have heard that before but hearing it from her makes your heart plummet. Is that it? All that you’ve been looking forward to?

But that’s not the end. Did I say it was not easy? If anyone tells you abstinence is easy, they’re fibbing big time. You are now dating a guy you love more than all the others. He loves you so much and also understands you stance, he is ready to wait. But your friend is on your neck. Ahhh it gets better. The more you have sex, the better it becomes. She is having the time of her life and she wants you to join the league. Bobo is making subtle moves and your body is feeling him. A lot. What to do?

It is not easy I tell you. However, at the end of the end, it a decision you have to make yourself.

The curse of 'juju' that drives sex slaves to Europe

Posted by cozzy webtatafo on April 8, 2011 at 8:09pm

Nigerian traffickers use black magic to trap thousands of women and send them to Italy as prostitutes

It is 6pm on a Monday night on a highway outside Milan. The thermometer on the car dashboard says it is two degrees below zero, but every few metres our headlights pick out figures waiting along the roadside, some hunched with their palms splayed over makeshift fires. Silvio Berlusconi outlawed soliciting on the street three years ago, but the estimated 20,000 Nigerian women who work as prostitutes in Italy are easy to find. Even in winter, there is no shortage of customers.
Vivian Peter, 23, has sworn loyalty to her traffickers in a ritual carried out by the juju priest Dr Stanley
This is one of hundreds of highways throughout Europe where Nigeria's trafficking victims are forced to work. We could be in Barcelona or Madrid, Paris or Berlin, Glasgow or London. There are 100,000 trafficked Nigerians in Europe, and 80 per cent come from Edo – a southern state that is home to only three per cent of Nigeria's population. It is the trafficking capital of Africa, and home of the traditional West African religion they call juju.

The condom-strewn lay-by near Bergamo where Rita picks up clients is a far cry from the Europe she imagined five years ago when traffickers approached her in Edo. "I was happy that I was going to Europe to feed my family," explains Rita, 27. "I didn't know it would turn out to be like this." She now sleeps with about 10 men a day, seven days a week, for €20 (£17.50) a time. She will work even if she feels ill, even if she has her period, even though she has been badly beaten in the past.

Rita says she has no choice but to carry on working. Before she left Nigeria, she swore an oath of loyalty to her traffickers in a traditional religious ritual, a practice I was investigating for Channel 4's Unreported World programme. She promised to pay back the cost of her transportation to Europe and offered up her soul as collateral for the debt. When she arrived in Italy, she was told she owed her traffickers €50,000 (£44,000), as well as extortionate living costs, including €300 a month in "rent" for the right to solicit from her particular patch. "I can't escape this unless I pay," she says. "Africans have very strong charms that can destroy someone in the twinkle of an eye."

Nigeria's human traffickers are using black magic to trap thousands of women like Rita into a life of sex slavery in Europe. Eastern European gangs use violence to coerce the women they transport, but the "madams" at the top of the Nigerian trafficking chain don't need muscle – they have juju on their side. It is a form of ritualised extortion that allows Nigerian women to be both perpetrators and victims of the exploitation.

Three thousand miles away in the small Edo village of Ewhoini, I meet 23-year-old Vivian Peter – intelligent, beautiful and full of aspirations that are hard to realise in rural Nigeria. The £2 a day she earns selling tomatoes at the market isn't enough to put her younger brothers and sisters through school, and buy a home where she can live with her boyfriend, Elonel. But he says he has the answer to their problems: he is arranging for Vivian to go and work for someone he says is his sister in Italy.

Paved roads and reliable electricity may not have reached this part of rural Nigeria, but the myth of the "Italos" – the women who have made a fortune in Italy – has permeated every household. It is an open secret that the Italos earn their money by selling sex, and there is no shame in it – Nigerian women who travel are stigmatised only if they return home penniless. But many do, often beaten and HIV-positive, and are rejected by their families.

Vivian doesn't know exactly where she will be taken, or how much she will owe her traffickers, but she imagines her debt will be paid within a few months. "I won't have any idea until I get there," she tells me. Her boyfriend has no qualms about sending her to sell sex on Italy's streets. "A lot of people do it over there," Elonel, 27, says matter-of-factly, "I'm not going to stop her." All the arrangements are in place: he has bought her plane ticket to Rome and booked her in to see Doctor Stanley, the local juju priest. He says the ritual will "help her out" and bring her luck in Italy. Juju has been practised in West Africa for centuries, and it would be hard to find anyone in Edo who is prepared to say they don't fear it. Believers say invisible spirits govern the earth and control every aspect of human existence, and nothing can be hidden from their scrutiny. The spirits can be called on to protect people, but they can also destroy them.

"If she breaks the promise she makes at my shrine, we need blood from her," Dr Stanley tells me on the morning of Vivian's ritual. "I can use my power to destroy anything I want. I can throw any type of sickness to a person, whether cancer or stroke." He boasts that "uncountable" trafficked women have sworn oaths at his shrine. I ask if he feels responsible for compelling so many to a life of prostitution. He fixes me with a stern gaze. "When you promise this is what you will do, unfailingly you must do it."

Tall and muscular, with crimson robes adorned with talismans, Dr Stanley strikes an imposing figure next to Vivian's small frame. While not officially part of the trafficking chain, he provides the most important component: the oath that makes women compliant. It is a lucrative source of business for him. He is making £120 from today's ritual – a serious amount of money here.

The shrine is filled with juju fetishes: rattles, idols made out of feathers, bones and sea shells, crucibles filled with bright powders. Dr Stanley commands Vivian to undress and wash in the hut outside the shrine, and when she emerges he blows chalk dust over her body and smears clay over her forehead, marking her out so the spirits can identify the soul that is being offered to them. Then he asks her to kneel before him to swear the oath. Elonel watches impassively, smoking a cigarette. The ritual over, Dr Stanley lifts Vivian to her feet. "I feel safe in his hands," she says, visibly relieved.

A few days later, in a bar an hour's drive away, Elonel says he is doing another piece of business: he claims his sister has found two other women to travel alongside Vivian, and he is arranging for them to swear their oaths tomorrow so they can all go and work for her in Italy. "When they get there, she will make money. A lot of money," he says blankly, "and if things are going well, they will send me money." Poverty has absolved him of any moral responsibility for the women he's trafficking, he says. "I don't have to feel bad. I need money."

Vivian has been outside Edo only once – when Elonel took her to Lagos to get her travel papers – but the myth of the Italos has convinced her she belongs in Italy. "I know it will be a better place for me," she says when we meet for the last time. I tell her about the women I saw at the roadside outside Milan, about the cold, the beatings, and the €50,000 debt that Rita is still paying off, five years on. "I don't think so. Mine won't be like that," Vivian frowns. "If you are hard-working, you won't suffer. I know how to plait hair. There are lots of things I know how to do," she insists. Then she pauses. "I've made up my mind that I will go there, and I must go there. I chose it."

Europe's trafficking statistics are made up of Edo women like Vivian who do not conform to the stereotype of passive "victims". It is the most determined and driven who fall prey to Nigeria's traffickers – those without dreams to exploit are left alone. No matter how strong these women might be, the juju oath leaves them manipulated, abused and utterly trapped. Without faith in ancient, traditional beliefs, this modern form of slavery would not exist. And without a thriving market for their services, no Nigerian woman would be trafficked to Europe in the first place.

An ancient African ritual

* Little is known about the origins of juju – a West African tradition which encompasses a range of rituals and supernatural entities from auras, spirits and ghosts, to magical properties believed to be bound to objects.

* It is not uncommon for Nigerians from all walks of life to carry amulets to ward off evil spirits and bad luck. But it is also believed that the powers of juju can be summoned and used only by a witch doctor. Contrary to popular belief, juju is not related to voodooism.

* Believers hold that juju can be used for 'good' purposes, such as curing ailments, but 'bad' juju can also be used to impose a host of misfortunes, such as madness, disease and death.

* Dried chameleons and chickens are often used in juju rituals.

Jenny Kleeman's film for 'Unreported World', called 'Nigeria: Sex, Lies and Black Magic', will be broadcast on Channel 4 tomorrow at 7.30pm. It can also be watched at channel4.com

Shocking: International preacher Albert Odulele admits sex offences

Posted by 9jabook.com webmadam on March 3, 2011 at 9:25am

Thursday 03 March 2011

Dr Albert Odulele, the 'charismatic' head of a London-based evangelical church faces jail after admitting two sexual assaults. The case came to light following an exclusive report from Channel 4 News.

Dr Albert Odulele, who runs Glory House International, admitted indecently assaulting a boy aged 14 and sexually assaulting a 21-year-old man - both former members of his congregation.

He entered the guilty pleas at Bexley Magistrates' Court in south east London and was committed for sentencing at Woolwich Crown Court on a date yet to be set.

Magistrates granted him conditional bail at the brief hearing.

Odulele, who describes himself as a 'teacher, preacher and evangelical preacher', is a major figure in the world of evangelical Christianity.

His east London-based church says it has a congregation of 3,000.

There are also branches of Glory House International in Leeds, Birmingham, Nigeria and Brazil.

Worldwide following

And Odulele has attracted many more followers around the world through appearances at international evangelic conferences, on religious TV programmes and videos on YouTube.

His website describes him as an author, speaker and preacher, and boasts of his 'charismatic style, prophetic delivery and prolific expression of truth'.

Channel 4 News understands the alleged assaults took place in 2003 and 2004.

The court heard how Odulele, 47, initially denied any wrongdoing after he was arrested last summer by the Metropolitan Police's Major Child Abuse Investigation Unit.

But he later admitted to police that he had been 'battling' with his sexuality for years. He denied the offences were pre-planned..

Glory House International has been a registered charity for 18 years and has a turnover of £2 million a year.

Church leaders were unavailable for comment when contacted by Channel 4 News.

Have more sex, look healthier, younger

Posted by cozzy webtatafo on January 27, 2011 at 6:45pm

Studies have revealed that regular sex does the body good, writes NNAEMEKA MERIBE. Do you dread the wrinkles that come with old age? If your answer is in the affirmative, then you may need to be more active sexually, because scientists say that sex does the body good. In fact, anti-ageing experts say that the more sex you have, the younger and healthier you become. A good sex life, they say, also helps you to live longer. Comment: Well what we need are two from each gender maybe A "nun" and one "eunuch" to verify this .probably we wont ask Tonto Dike or RMD . Certain we wont ask Senate President Mark or OBJ we hear he is quick to laff about his kampe ability in the bedroom . An active sex life is good for your heart, memory and immune system, and, as a new book, Younger (Sexier) You, reveals, you can boost yours just by drinking coffee and eating peanuts... The book, written by a United States anti-ageing expert, Dr. Eric Braverman, says sex not only raises your hormone levels (so keeping you young), but can also boost your metabolism, brain, heart and immunity. And if your sex life is tepid, rather than torrid, don't despair, says Braverman, according to the Mail of London. Whether you're 30 or 100, a combination of good diet, nutritional supplements and some 'natural' hormones will restore your drive and ensure that you enjoy the health benefits, too. Many sexual problems, says Braverman, can be addressed by eating particular foods. Drinking coffee, he says, can help boost a flagging libido, while snacking on peanuts can enhance arousal. Eating brown rice can help combat sexual coldness, while avocadoes might increase your capacity for pleasure. But while agreeing that regular sex can increase metabolism and boost hormones, one consultant family physician at the University of Calabar Teaching Hospital, Dr. Tony Aluka, doubts how regular sex can make one to look healthier and younger. However, Braverman says the other great physical enemy of a healthy sex life is the menopause - and the male version, the andropause (both of which entail the loss of sex hormones which affect sex drive and function). But it's not just about the mechanics of sex. Healthy sexual function is also about how your brain reacts to the messages it's receiving from your body, he adds. When your brain is working at its peak, brain chemicals are produced and dispersed at the correct levels. A reduced sexual desire can apparently be the first sign there's a problem with one of the four key brain chemicals. These are dopamine, acetylcholine, GABA and serotonin. A deficiency in each will produce specific types of sexual problem. In fact, some scientific studies have suggested that sex can bring many health benefits. A 2001 study, Sex and the heart: what is the role of the cardiologist?, published in European Heart Journal, notes that sex is good for the heart. According to the study, anything that exercises the heart is good for it, including sex. Sexual arousal sends the heart rate higher, and the number of beats per minute reaches its peak during orgasm. Sex can also be a stress buster. A study on blood pressure and sex published in Biological Psychology of February 2006 claims that sex can help you beat the stresses of 21st Century life style. The 46 men and women who participated in the study kept a diary of sexual activity, recording penetrative sex, non-penetrative sex and masturbation. In stress tests, including public speaking and doing mental arithmetic out loud, the people who had no sex at all had the highest stress levels. People who only had penetrative sex had the smallest rise in blood pressure. This shows that they coped better with stress. Researchers have also found a link between how often one has sex and how strong one's immune system is. A study, Sexual frequency and salivary immunoglobulin A (IgA), published in the June 2004 edition of Psychology Report found that students who had sex once or twice a week had higher levels of an important illness-fighting substance in their bodies. Immunoglobulin A (IgA) was 30 per cent higher in those who had sex once or twice a week than in those who had no sex at all. However, the lowest levels were in people who had sex more than twice a week. But the researchers say more research is needed before it can be proved that weekly sex helps your immune system. However, in another study correlating overall health with sexual frequency, Queens University in Belfast Northern Ireland tracked the mortality of about 1,000 middle-aged men over the course of a decade. The study was designed to compare people of similar age and health. Its findings, published in 1997 in the British Medical Journal, were that men who reported the highest frequency of orgasm enjoyed a death rate half that of the laggards. Sex has also been found to be therapeutic in many other ways. An article on reasons to have sex every week, published on the December 10, 2007 edition of Newsweek magazine lists the following as ways that sex can boost your health: * It's a beauty treatment. In a study at the Royal Edinburgh Hospital in Scotland, a panel of judges viewed participants through a one-way mirror and guessed their ages. Those who looked seven to 12 years younger than their age (labeled 'superyoung') were also enjoying lots of sex-four times a week, on average. OK, maybe they were having so much fun because they looked young. But it's likely the sex was helping, researchers say. One reason is that it raises a woman's estrogen level, which helps make hair shiny and skin supple. * It burns calories. A little over four calories a minute, or the equivalent of four Hershey's kisses in a half hour of love. * It can cure migraine. For a woman a migraine might actually be a reason for making love rather than avoiding intercourse: the increase in endorphins and corticosteroids during arousal and orgasm is analgesic. * It promotes regular menstrual cycles. A series of studies by behavioral endocrinologist Winnifred Cutler, and colleagues at Columbia and Stanford universities found that women who have intercourse at least weekly (except during their period) cycle more regularly than abstainers or the sporadically active. Cutler argues that intimacy is essential, not orgasms, "Regular exposure to a loving partner has extraordinary effects on health and well-being." * It can prevent accidents. Women use the muscles of the pelvic floor to stem the flow of urine. As they age, they need to keep these strong to avoid peeing accidentally. The same muscles are exercised during intercourse. But is there anything like too much sex? The answer is different for male and females. According to the article, Sex does the body good, published on www.msbn.com, Dr. Claire Bailey of the University of Bristol, says that there is little or no risk of a woman overdosing on sex. In fact, she says, regular sessions can not only firm a woman's tummy and buttocks but also improve her posture. As for men, Dr. J. Francois Eid, a urologist at Weil Medical College New York Presbyterian Hospital, says it's definitely possible to get too much of a good thing, now that drugs such as Viagra and Levitra have given men far more staying power than what may actually be good for them. The male organ, Eid says, is wonderfully resilient. But everything has its limits. Penile tissues, if given too roistering or prolonged a pummelling, can sustain damage. However, arguing that regular sex may not make one healthier and younger, Aluka says that a look at many commercial sex workers will give a lie to the claim. He said, "Yes, sex can increase hormones, raise metabolism and release tension. I have watched a documentary of an elephant on heat. It was very destructive and only became calm after having sex. It can be the same for humans. But that is how far that can go. "But I doubt whether regular sex can make one look healthier and younger. If you look at many commercial sex workers or some people living in rural areas that have more than one wife, you will notice that they do not appear healthier and younger. And these are the people that have sex regularly. He says while some of the studies' findings may be true in the Western world, it may not be replicated in the Nigerian environment where many people do not feed well. "So, telling somebody who is no feeding well to have sex regularly may be telling the person to commit suicide," he says.

13-year old sex slave (name withheld) has escaped from a hotel in Lagos State

Posted by 9jabook.com webmadam on February 5, 2011 at 5:12am

A 13-year old sex slave (name withheld) has escaped from a hotel in Lagos State, Southwest Nigeria, after sleeping with at least 10 men daily for almost two months.

She was forced into prostitution by her aunt simply called Victoria, who brought her from Akwa Ibom to Lagos in December last year.

The JSS 2 student said it was while she was making effort to escape back to Akwa Ibom State after she fled from the hotel that someone saw her on the street and took her to a police station.

At the station, she told the police how she slept with at least 10 men daily, that is, about 550 men had sex with her throughout the two months she spent in the hotel.

She said each man paid her N1,000 to have sex with her. And her aunt, Victoria, usually comes around to collect the day’s proceeds.

The teenager said Victoria lied to her parents in Akwa Ibom that she was bringing her to Lagos to attend school only for her to be taken to a hotel and asked to sleep with men.

According to the girl, she gave me a room and brought mini skirt and slide dress and asked me to wear them.

“I did not understand what that meant until men started to approach me and I saw other girls going into their rooms with men,” she said.

“My aunt came to my room and coached me on how I should behave and directed that if any man comes to me I should collect N1000 and allow him to have sex with me.”

She also warned her to behave well so that they can always come back.

“That was how I started sleeping with men and at least 10 men have sex with me on daily basis and my aunt will collect the money and leave only food money for me,” she narrated.

On why she ran away from the hotel, she said that she was having severe pains in her private part and “when I complained to her, she wouldn’t hear of it and gave me oil to be robbing inside it but the pain continued until I could no longer bear it.”

Narrating how she agreed to follow her aunt to Lagos, she said that she hails from Ukuda in Akwa Ibom State and was in JSS2 when Victoria came from Lagos in December to take her here.

“She told my parents that she would like to assist them by sending me to school,” adding that since she was living in Lagos, she will take the victim along with her.

“On the day we set out from the village to Lagos, she gave my mom N500 and we left,” she narrated.

When they got to Lagos, she took her to a popular hotel in Ejigbo, New Love Hotel, situated at Lafenwa area, NNPC, Ejigbo.

On how she came to the police station, she said that when she could not bear the pain any longer, she ran away. She said she was crying and looking for a way to go back to the village because she does not know any place in Lagos.

While she was looking for a way to escape to the village a man took her to the station after listening to her plight.

Following her escape, the police have arrested the manager of the hotel identified as Johnson while Victoria was said to be on the run.

Though the manager has been granted bail, he was ordered to produce Victoria who brought the little girl to Lagos as a sex slave.On how she came to the police station, she said that when she could not bear the pain any longer, she ran away. She said she was crying and looking for a way to go back to the village because she does not know any place in Lagos.

P.M.NEWS gathered that the Area Commander Zone D, Mushin has ordered full investigation into the matter.

The matter is now being investigated by Inspector Tina in the human rights section.

Both Ejigbo Police and area Commander confirmed the incident and said that full investigation has commenced into the matter.

The girl has been handed over to her parents...

—Cyriacus Izuekwe

Nigerian Association of Prostitutes Our lives as sex workers' Why we do it Ojo Maduekwe Investigates

Posted by cozzy webtatafo on November 7, 2010 at 6:00am

Prostitution. It is one of the oldest professions and the practitioners can hardly own up or tell the real reasons they are into it. However, OJO MADUEKWE tries to find out why some ladies who go into prostitution sometimes remain prostitutes

Ask them why they do what they do, and the answer is the same; and just as they, readily available, "there is no job and man must eat. Or what do you think" Both prostitutes and their sympathisers, hurriedly and constantly cite unemployment and poverty as reasons why the female child gets into prostitution.

Making it sound like all prostitutes are poor and all poor are prostitutes waiting to happen. Counting both years and a bank account huge enough to show for 'back-work' and start a petty trade, it seems like poverty is not just the only reason a lady takes to prostitution as a profession.

Going through various definitions of prostitution, like the one found in Wikipedia's site that describes it as "the act or practice of providing sexual services to another person in return for payment" the two main and constant features you will come to observe are money and sex. Money either because people are poor (which like was stated above is the most common excuse) or just love for free money to lust after and sex for the love of it, as testified by some prostitutes.

"I love sex and have been in the business for four years. I make hundreds of naira in one night and enjoy rounds of sex. I can't seem to break away; it's like a bad drug habit. I want to stop and live a normal life but the sex and money always draw me back." Linda has passed from the stage where money is no more a concern for her because right now she can boast of a good account, because she's been able to save, but then like she said, the sex and greed for more money always makes her want to continue.

This is not to rule out the fact that the twin of poverty and unemployment are major causes. With the majority of the world's country living from foreign aid, countries from mostly the African continent and Southern America are known to have high rate of prostitutes. Based on moral, health or religious grounds like in most Islamic nations, the legal status of prostitution varies from country to country, from being a punishable crime to a regulated profession. But with the annual revenue generation from the global prostitution industry estimated to be over $100 billion, it is not surprising when some countries make it a legal trade.

Marian's own reason for going into prostitution was more on the 'sex side'; she loved sex a lot and couldn't seem to get enough of it from her boyfriend who had a regular job as a factory worker. "Apart from the money, I enjoy sex so much. I have a boyfriend, John, but he comes back from work and most times is not able to satisfy me...

"I became a prostitute at age 11. It was my choice, it was my ambition and it is my career. I enjoy what I do I will not lie. I do not feel exploited at all. I do not hide who I am or what I do, my friends all accept this is who I am and are cool with it. Anyone who isn't can move on down the road," she said.

Because of the assumptions of the society as to the true reasons some ladies engage in prostitution, narrowing it down to money, necessitated by poverty, it is now constant to have people come up to offer one succour or the other. The promises have now taken the form of a cliché, with everybody touting one solution to another, claiming that if only there can be jobs for the prostitutes (this is minus the teeming number of other class of jobless people like armed robbers, unemployed graduates); if only the people can stop living under the one dollar a day situation, the oldest career in the world will be pronounced dead and buried for the good of all forever.

Good thought though, but like it is a thought, could only be imagined. Why do you think it's called the oldest profession in the world? Because solutions like the ones we are having today have been the same ones since the time of Solomon, Sodom and Gomorrah yet there have been no serious record to scrap the job. Even in places where the law seem to be strict; where you have both spiritual and political rules guiding their conduct, prostitution still strive there a lot.

Like in Kaduna, where a group of prostitutes operating in a region called Obalande in the state, last year November 1 to December 31, 2009 had a two months sex freebie for their customers. Obalande, which has been addressed as Sodom and Gomorra in Kaduna State originated in 1980s, the region operates from 7pm to 4am featuring high-class prostitutes along with different kinds of assorted bars in every nook and cranny.

The group head, nicknamed 'Presido' as reported by Victor Ulasi, writing for Article Base, an online magazine, said "Nigerian economy is getting worse on a daily basis and the government does not give a shit about the situation. This is what we do to survive; this is where we make our daily bread. Also am proud of my job, and to keep the business going on there is the need to step up the price with a bonanza to please the customers," the Presido was quoted as saying. Like sellers of products, prostitutes want to start giving out bonanza and then to protect themselves, form an association that can table their case before relevant authorities.

She categorically stated to love what she does to the point of thinking of giving bonanza to clients, in a way to boost clients craving for more. Such a person would obviously mock peoples pledge to assist her. People like Navy Captain Caleb Olubolade, who said "I will just urge them to do something else and assist them as much as possible so that they can lead a happier life" when she and her co-prostitutes, in a way of protecting themselves from security agencies harassments and exploitation, have decided to register an association.

That's with a capital IF, because before he might think of popping the champagne, he needs to hear this. "The sex bonanza should have started before now but the police constant patrol in the region could not allow us to hold the rarely, but that will soon come to an end. We want to form a union which will be known as Nigerian Association of Prostitutes because the same people who arrest us are the same people who patronise us."

It is this kind of statement by Minister of State for the Federal Capital Territory (FCT); Navy Captain Caleb Olubolade (Rtd) that makes them appear like people who are in dire need of assistance. He goes on to say that he will just urge them to do something else and also assist them as much as possible so that they can lead a better and happier life. Its like telling the touts who for just chasing after bus drivers make an average of five thousand naira a day to quit their very lucrative job, bagged a degree after years of waiting for JAMB and strikes in school to go and work for a bank at fifty thousand as a front desk officer. How is this possible, of "urging them to do something else" after they have had a feel of what good money taste like.

Statements like this, made from assumptions are the ones that assume ladies take onto prostitution solely because they are poor and in need to eke out a living. Fine, we can choose to help the prostitutes collaborate their excuses of poverty as to why they went into it in the first place. But then you'd think that after a while, when they must have made a substantial amount of start-up capital that they will resign and live a normal life.

How many of them get to resign is the question to ask. As we can see above, the story of Linda and Marian means that the love of money and not the lack thereof is the strong reason behind their entering into the trade in the first instance.

Who says prostitutes are not busy people; who say they do not have an option of other means of living? A look at 'Presido' can tell you that although she may be a prostitute, she is not a dunce. As you can read, she likes her job. A shift of perspective to discover the exact reasons that people enter into the act of prostitution instead of assuming for them is the basic step the authorities must take if they are really serious about limiting prostitution to its barest minimal.

Onitsha "Fela" Shrine Another Kalakuta in the East• Where illicit drugs, sex thrive

Posted by cozzy webtatafo on October 12, 2010 at 9:53pm

From ALOYSIUS ATTAH, Onitsha

Tucked within the boundary between Onitsha and Obosi, behind an Army Barracks is Solar Lawrence Road, the unofficial headquarters of illicit drugs in Anambra State. It was the thick choking smoke of marijuana that announced another dimension of human activity on the narrow road that led to this doppers’ enclave one early Saturday morning..

Eight out of ten commercial motorcyclists plying Awada routes in Onitsha along MCC junction may not know the location of Solar Lawrence Road by any other means, but by simply placing two fingers on your lips and feigning smoking they’ll exclaim “oh yes, let’s go” provided you can pay the right fare since the area attracts a special fare on Okada. Apart from being a jungle of sorts threaded only by brave hearts, the route leading to Solar Lawrence Road is deplorable due to erosion and neglect.

In this area of Onitsha, every resident is a smoker. Those who don’t smoke do so passively. Wheeling and dealing in cannabis sativa popularly known as Indian hemp, Igbo or marijuana and other narcotics is their stock-in-trade.

Jamaican reggae legends like Robert Nester Marley, Peter Tosh , and artistes like Prof. Linkin, the jogodo master who sang popular lyrics calling on governments to legalize Indian hemp may have wasted their precious time singing out their hearts, because at Solar Lawrence Road, it’s done with impunity. 365 days in a year, youths “burn down the walls of Babylon” with their lighter and Rizla..

Sunday Sun spent some days in the ghetto and the decadence was quite amazing and depressing .

Startling revelations. Solar Lawrence Road, Awada used to be a thick forest behind an Army barracks inhabited by few poor and homeless individuals . The wheeling and dealing in marijuana along the street was a pastime of barrack boys who saw the bush paths as shields for their indulgence and illicit trade. With the urbanization of Onitsha, residential real estate mostly four storey buildings have been erected in the area thereby attracting families to the area. Since then , the narcotics trade has been flourishing .

A large cartel supplies narcotics from Asaba, the Delta State capital while users from far and near converge in the area unhindered. The narcotics are subsidized in this part of Nigeria. “king size” marijuana for instance sells for N100, the “middle size” goes for N50 while the smallest size goes for N20. Among the users, two fair complexioned ladies were spotted puffing away as if their life depended on marijuana . Though homeowners in the area have a landlords association, the “real landlords” are dealers in narcotics . They’re untouchable . Complementary products in the area include dry gin and other spirits, nylon envelopes for rationing the weeds and various native concoctions including paraga, “cow tail” and dongoyaro laced mixed locally made spirits popularly known as kai kai.

The Army connection

Sunday Sun learnt that the illicit drug business thrives in the area because of the involvement of some soldiers . A resident in the area who identified himself as Anayo said “this place is no man’s land and many people you see here smoking are soldiers and others live in the barracks. Some soldiers bring the narcotics and they will resist any attempt to disrupt their operations tenaciously”. Some men in Army camouflage were spotted puffing way without hindrance. Further investigation revealed that detachments from the Nigerian Army raid the enclave once in a while arresting smokers and dealers and confiscating their “stock” but they have not been deterred. A twisted logic brings them back.

Their greatest enemy

A well-known method the police, including the Special Anti- Robbery Squad(SARS) in Anambra has devised to raise illicit money from hapless citizens in the state is by combing and raiding secluded areas in search of Indian hemp smokers and dealers. Some innocent passers-by are arrested and detained in the process until money “exchanges hands”. Obviously the area is a no-go-area for the police. Any rookies who dared step into the dungeon didn’t live to tell their stories while others had scars to deter them from ever venturing into an uncharted sea.

The boys at Solar Lawrence Road are battle-ready for the police anytime. The Police from Awada Division under whose jurisdiction the area falls have avoided the area like a plague. Some policemen in two patrol vehicles from the station were reportedly overpowered in the area and beaten to a pulp with their vehicles vandalized.

A Corporal attached to the division said he doesn’t go for patrols in the area even when he needed money, because “I need to train my children first before I die so I’m not in a haste to go yonder”

On Sundays

Solar Lawrence Road is not too different on Sundays. In the morning , it’s a replica of Marakana field at Ajegunle in Lagos. It’s not menacing as suchs . Football teams play on the street and sweat-it-out. Narcotics dealers and smokers take turns to play with wraps of marijuana and downing spirits recklessly .

In the evening, the atmosphere turns wild as merry makers block the road with local musical equipment and engage in wild frolicking with a bevy of ladies, food, cheap liquor, cigarettes, and of course narcotics.

Inside Government Restaurant.

One of the hot spots that make Solar Lawrence Road irresistible is Government Restaurant. Owned by a “woman of substance” said to be a local government health officer, it derived its name from her connections among the soldiers. Once you enter the restaurant, there’s no shaking. The place is a haven of sorts for drifters too and they only eat, drink, play snooker and get merrier.

In the night, live bands play and half-nude ladies dance seductively to mapouka music to entertain men of unruly libido.Tables with assorted drinks and meat adorn both sides of the road to accommodate the crowd . Some portion of land belonging to the Nigerian Army was cleared for this purpose.

The 404 Joint

Few meters from Government Restaurant is another joint for lovers of dog meat.

A wooden shack with a red ribbon on top to indicate that meat is ready, this joint is patronized mainly by the Calabar residing in the barracks. At one corner of the shack, a few elderly sip paraga. A local concoction of cheap whisky and herbs. They all look grotesque with bulging yellow or red eyeballs, bloated faces and decayed teeth. Shadows of their old selves and a result of several years of riotous living. Despite this, they appear lively even in their degenerate state. These men don’t have the strength to smoke marijuana again or give lustful pleasures to a woman. Lurid jokes are among their past time. Seated on broken benches, they do not mind the boisterous youths around them who remind them of their heydays.

The orgy of crime

Among the price residents of Solar Lawrence Road pay for cohabiting with these special breed of neighbors is the crime wave. Burglary, bag and phone snatching are rife. A resident, Ekene Okoro told Sunday Sun that life is risky and perilous in the area. According to him, a cleric from Holy Trinity Parish, Awada was shot recently on his way to mass by 5:30am and cases of armed robbery are rampant. “After robbing you, they run inside the bush behind the Army barracks”, he said.

The landlords association employed some vigilante operatives to guard the neighborhood, but not surprisingly they focus mainly on the inside streets while avoiding areas around the barrack areas where crime thrives.

The predicament of residents

Some residents who spoke to Sunday Sun who did not want their names mentioned worry about the fate of children living in the area who may imbibe the life style in the area. For instance, the Chairman of Wisdom Landlords Association, Ozalla Layout, Chief Egojuluoyi Enemuo deplored the activities of these outlaws and lamented the association’s helplessness . He called on Anambra State government to sanitize the area.

Speaking to Sunday Sun on the dangers of inhaling marijuana smoke , the Coordinator, Anti-drug Abuse Movement of Nigeria (ADAM), Dr. Anthony Idimogu said that it can trigger some allergic reactions which can worsen conditions of people prone to cancer and other forms of illness. He urged Anambra State government to take measures to check the nefarious activities of the drug pushers and users in the area and protect lives and property.

Reprieve on the way?

There’s a flicker of hope for residents of Solar Lawrence Road and its environs . Speaking to Sunday Sun on phone, the Anambra State commander of the National Drug Law Enforcement Agency(NDLEA), Timipreye Zikiye said “my boys have raided the place before , but the dealers regrouped . We are strategizing on how to effectively block any loopholes and storm the place to dislodge them and ensure that they don’t come back. Anybody arrested among them shall also be prosecuted .”

Sunday Sun also visited the Onitsha Military Cantonment for comments from the Army. The Commander of the 302 Artillery Regiment, Colonel Patrick Miri was recently redeployed while the Acting Commander, Lt. Col. Akpan traveled on official duty. The Army Public Relations Officer, simply referred to as Mr. Patrick, refused to comment on the matter on phone saying that he will make out time to discuss one on one with our reporter later.

However, a Sergeant in the barracks who craved anonymity told Sunday Sun to expect something different very soon as the command has concluded arrangements to cleanse the area of all miscreants. “Go behind the barracks now and you will see that the clearing of bush has commenced. Remember that the Federal Government through the efforts of Governor Peter Obi recently flagged-off the fencing project of the barracks. When the project is completed, the problem of these smokers and criminal activities within the area will be a forgone issue as there will be no hiding place for them”, he said.

Kano Sharia Former Lawmaker almost beaten to death for suspected underage solicitation by okada men

Posted by Paul "EFCC" Hawk Adams on August 30, 2010 at 7:31pm

Censorship chief escapes lynching for soliciting sex from minor

The director general of the Kano State Film and Censorship Board, Abubakar Rabo Abdulkarim, was nearly lynched over the weekend when a mob attacked him for soliciting sex from an under-aged girl.

Mr. Abdulkarim, the former Hisbah commander was trying to escape from a patrol team which had accosted him when they saw his car parked in a secluded environment - with a young girl inside - when he ran into a motorcyclist. Other members of the Okada union quickly surrounded him and he was only saved a lynching by the police who had been in pursuit of his car.

The censorship board, under his leadership, has waged a scorched earth campaign against actors, musicians and producers in the state for allegedly promoting immorality. As a result, many artistes fled the state and now ply their trade elsewhere..

Mr Abdulkarim, who insisted that the girl he was found with was his niece, said he was not having an affair with her. But when the former enforcer of Sharia law discovered he could not convince the contingent of policemen on night patrol on the propriety of having an under-aged girl in his car at such an odd hour, he panicked. The whole thing looked even more suspicious because for some curious reason he had parked behind a shopping complex along Maiduguri Road that night.

A police source said when the patrol team attempted to arrest Mr Abdulkarim he took flight in his car.

Double trouble

While trying to escape however, he knocked down an official of the Kano History and Culture Bureau who was riding on a motorcycle. This incurred the wrath of Okada riders, who thought that he had knocked down a member of their union and promptly proceeded to give him a thorough beating.

Ironically, it was the patrol team that he had been trying to avoid that finally came to his rescue, although by then the okada riders, who saw he had a girl with him, had damaged the car and were already on the verge of beating him to death.

He was later taken to the Hotoro police division where he was made to write down a statement.

Not a wayward one

When contacted, Mr Abdulkarim said members of the opposition Peoples Democratic Party, and film practitioners, were responsible for his ordeal.

The man, who has been having a running battle with film makers and writers in Kano in his attempt to force them to comply with the Sharia legal code, spoke to NEXT before he travelled to Saudi Arabia for the lesser hajj.

“The girl found in my car was my niece and not a wayward one as insinuated,” he insisted.

Spokesperson of the Kano State police command, Baba Mohammed, said he was not aware of the incident because he was in the hospital at the time. The police commissioner, Mohammed Gana also said he couldn’t speak on the matter because he just returned from Saudi Arabia. He however promised to find out the details from his men at the Hotoro Police Division.

Man, 28, to die for killing wife, 14, over sex

Posted by 9jabook.com webmadam on June 16, 2010 at 4:24am

WRITTEN BY SHARAFA DAUDA AND YAHAYA IBRAHIM, MAIDUGURI

WEDNESDAY, 16 JUNE 2010 05:26

A twenty eight year old qur’anic school student resident in Bulabulin Ngarnam Ward, Maiduguri was yesterday sentenced to death by hanging for killing his 14-year old wife, Amsa Usman Abdu, over disagreement on sex.

The convict said for seven months,his wife only allowed him access to her three times.

A Maiduguri High Court ruled yesterday that Abubakar Goni should be hang by his neck until he is certified dead, declaring that he used a kitchen knife to stab his wife on several parts of her body until she died because she refused to have sexual intercourse with him around 3:00am on October 22, 2003. The presiding judge, Justice Abdullahi Sanya Yerima, said the man committed culpable homicide punishable with death as provided for in Section 221(b) of the Penal Code..

Goni had during his arraignment told the court that the marriage between him and late Amsa was contracted by his father against his wish, but he accepted his father’s decision in good faith and endured to live with the wife despite her “stubbornness”. He said, “My father married Amsa for me. I never knew her before then but I accepted her as my wife in good faith. During our married life, which lasted for seven months, she disregarded and disrespected me. Whenever I wanted to have sex with her, she refused. For the seven months we lived together, we only had sex three times. I reported her conduct to my father several times, but he begged me to approach her gently as she was still a small girl. My father even reported her to her father, who personally advised her on two occasions”, parts of his statement to the police read.

Goni said on that day, around 2:00am while they were asleep in the same room within his father’s compound where they lived, his late wife repeated her usual turn down.

“I demanded to have sex with her, but she refused. I begged her several times but she still refused. I then left her inside the room, went out and searched for a knife, which I got in the kitchen. I took possession of the knife and went back to the room with annoyance and stabbed her several times at different places,” he confessed.

In his testimony, Goni’s father, Alhaji Goni Umara, said an unusual sound woke him from sleep in the night and he rushed to the scene and found his son with a knife, who told him that he had stabbed his wife. Bintu Goni Umara, a step mother of the husband said, “The knife used by Goni in stabbing his wife belongs to me, and on that day, I left it in the kitchen.” The judge said he convicted Goni as charged even though his counsel pleaded for leniency on ground of age, being a first time offender, and the fact that Goni was legally married to the deceased but was denied sexual intercourse. The counsel said sex is an undisputable right in marriage and refusing Goni made him to act in anger and frustration.

But Justice Abdullahi Sanya Yerima insisted that the act was a grave and heinous crime and the section under which he was charged provides no option.

In another homicide case heard in the court, one Fadimatu Ibrahim who was accused of killing her husband, Ibrahim Usman, by stabbing him on the chest with a knife was freed.

Fadimatu, a native of Baram in Hawul Local Government Area of Borno State, was said to have stabbed her husband with a knife on May 17, 2004 and was charged with culpable homicide, which is not punishable with death as provided under section 224 of the Penal Code.

Justice Sanya discharged and acquitted Fadimatu for want of evidence. According to him, the prosecutor failed to prove beyond reasonable doubt that the accused was guilty of the offence as required in any homicide case, saying there was no proof that Usman died or that Fadimatu caused his death as earlier filed in the case of no submission by the defence counsel, Barrister A. Shettima.

Ebonyi SSG drags journalist to court over sex story

Posted by Paul "EFCC" Hawk Adams on May 25, 2010 at 8:10pm

ABAKALIKI — EBONYI Secretary to the State Government, SSG, Mr. Fidelis Mbam, has dragged the publisher of Golden Truth Newspaper, a local tabloid based in the state, Mr. James Nwite, to an Abakaliki Magistrate Court for the publisher’s intent to investigate a story which alleged the SSG to be involved in a sex escapade.

Though the publisher was granted bail in the sum of N100,000 with a surety and four passport photographs, he was detained for four days in Abakaliki Police custody.

The SSG’s ordeal is coming on the heels of a similar clamp down on two journalists in Enugu State who have been detained in Enugu Prisons over a similar sex story allegedly involving the Chief Judge of Enugu State, Mr. Innocent Umezulike.

While Ebonyi SSG’s sex story is alleged to be with his housemaid, Enugu Chief Judge was alleged to have had an affair with a young girl in the house of a popular Enugu-based publisher.

Yet unpublished.

All the journalists involved in both cases were at investigative stages of their stories when they were hounded into police custodies with either stringent bail conditions or no bail applications entertained.

According to Abakaliki Magistrate Court charge sheet, the local tabloid publisher, James Nwite, and one other now at large, on or before 9 April 2010 in Abakaliki did conspire with each other to commit felony to wit: Publishing defamatory matter with intent to extort and thereby committed an offence punishable under Section 516A..

When the matter came up for mention at Magistrate Court 4, Nwite pleaded not guilty to the two-count charge and was granted bail.

The presiding Magistrate, Mr. Alobu, later adjourned the matter till 9 June 2010.

Defence counsel speaks

Briefing newsmen immediately after the court session, the counsel to defendant, Mr. Onyeka Nwebonyi, said every Nigerian had the right to go to court to seek redress on any matter, adding that he had not seen any publication by his client on the matter being alleged by the plaintiff.

“I maintain strongly that my client, the defendant, has not committed any offence in the eyes of the law,” he said.

A Heart to Mend comes to town

Posted by Myne Whitman on May 24, 2010 at 4:00am

by AHAOMA KANU

According to Adewumi Adeyemi Fabarebo of Magic Wand publishers, A Heart To Mend has come Nigeria and has been circulated across the country.
“I am happy to announce that the book is now available in major book stores across the country. You can now go to the book stores and grab your copy,” he announced.

NIGERIAN

S and literary lovers who have been longing to get their hands on the new novel by new kid on the literary block, Myne Whitman can now heave a sigh of relief as A Heart to Mend has come to town. Last week, at the a media presentation, Magic Wand Publishing, unveiled the Nigerian edition of the debut novel that presents the gripping tale of a young woman finding her feet in the world and how her life intersects with that of the wealthy egoist she meets.

At the presentation held at the Down Syndrome Association of Nigeria centre at Surulere, the organization that takes care of people living with Down Syndrome of which the author is a partner, journalists were availed a copy of the book and interacted with the representatives of the author who is based in the United States of America (USA) and was not present. One of the many questions that came up was if Myne Whitman is a Nigerian. Adewumi explained that the author is a full blooded Nigeria.

“The author's real names are Nkem Akinsoto, she is also known as Myne Whitman. She is a Nigerian writer. Myne Whitman is a name she coined herself while still in secondary school and is a play on the transliterated words of her maiden name, Nkem Okotcha . She grew up in the academic city of Enugu and studied Biological Sciences at the Nnamdi Azikiwe University Awka, in Anambra State before going to do her post graduate studies in the United Kingdom. undergraduate level in Nigeria, then went She presently lives with the husband in the US,” he informed.
A Heart To Mend narrates the relationship between Gladys and Edward and offers a unique reading experience. Direct and action packed, the masterful use of emotion and suspense will keep readers totally engrossed and guessing till the end.

Sheltered Gladys Eborah has spent most of her life in a suburb of Enugu brought up in a deprived single parent household after losing her father as a young girl. After finishing her education, she moves to Lagos to seek a job and moves in with an estranged aunt who now wants to be forgiven for all perceived wrongs. Gladys suspects Aunt Isioma abandoned them out of disdain for their poverty, and has the uneasy role of the bridge between both families.

Her new friendships and career achievements gradually transition Gladys into an independent young woman. Soon, she begins to fall for wealthy Edward Bestman who, though physically attracted to her, is emotionally unavailable. Edward is very wealthy, but he is haunted by the past of his illegitimate birth and other secrets he will not share.

The themes of premarital sex, social class mobility, and romantic ups and downs that mark a budding love are fully explored. However, Myne Whitman takes the story even further. Some unnamed people are about to take over Edward's business empire and Gladys is implicated. Filled with suspense and twists that will make one keep turning the next page in a bid to find what lies ahead, any prospective reader of this novel better be prepared to be taken through a jolly romantic ride through a beautifully woven story of love, friendship and victory in a Nigerian perspective as readers will be pleasantly surprised by the description of Lagos, the Nigerian stock market, and other business intrigues. Myne Whitman weaves an interesting story that elevates Nigerian literature to the next level. Adewumi urged Nigerians to go out an get a copy of the A Heart To Mend and stand a chance of winning so many appealing prizes.

British Couple have sex everyday for a month Experiment. Result: she loses two pounds he is very tired !

Posted by jackie webLondonGirl on April 27, 2010 at 2:11am

It sounds an impossible challenge: to make love every day for a month. But a series of studies have found that as well as bringing you closer together, it could help improve your well being. SARAH KAVANAGH, 31, a project co-ordinator, and her husband Colin, 40, a builder, from Cheshire, decided to try it. So how did they fare? Sarah says:

On the eve of the 12th anniversary of our first date, I told my husband Colin that I'd got him a very special gift that would remind us both just how much we still mean to each other.

As he tried to guess what it might be I assured him that this was something far more meaningful than a weekend away or a blown-up photograph from our wedding album.

His gift was, in fact, to make love with me every day for the following month.

Happy bedfellows: Sarah and Colin Kavanagh wanted to revive their <br /

romance" class="blkBorder" height="505" width="468"">

Happy bedfellows: Sarah and Colin Kavanagh wanted to revive their romance

Colin's immediate reaction, just as I'd hoped, was to look like a man who'd been told he'd won the Lottery.

But almost immediately his face then fell.

'We used to have sex every day as a matter of course,' he said grumpily. 'Now you're offering it up as a gift and I'm supposed to be grateful?'

This really wasn't what I'd expected, having just offered love on request to the man I married seven years ago and who is always bending my ear that we don't do it enough. Somehow my well-meant offer had suddenly brought us to the brink of a row.

I'd come up with the idea because, in common with so many couples, in recent years lovemaking had been relegated in my agenda.

Unlike the heady days when Colin and I first met, now there is always something else that takes precedence - from work to domestic chores and even the simple pleasure of a full night's sleep.

More...

When we met, I was 19 and Colin ten years older - the sexual attraction was mutual and instant. For the first few months, our passionate love life defined us, but as months turned to years and we got engaged and then married, things inevitably changed.

Over time, familiarity, the stresses of work and day-to-day life and the fact my sex drive just isn't what it used to be have combined to dampen the passion we once took for granted.

Colin was 'delighted' with Sarah's special anniversary present

Groundhog Day: Colin was delighted then concerned that Sarah's special anniversary 'present' would take the spontaneity out of their love life

These days we make love about once a week. And, in common with many of my friend's husbands, Colin regularly complains that this just isn't enough.

Which is why I'd presumed that this gift would be welcomed rather than the cause of a row.

Later that evening, we talked it through.

'At least when we do it, it's spontaneous,' Colin told me. 'You putting it into your diary isn't exactly a turn on.'

But despite his reservations, we decided to give it a go.

Somehow I felt certain that in the years ahead he would look back on this as the most intimate gift of our marriage.

DAY ONE

There's no time like the present, so, for the first time in at least five years we make love on a work day before I've even put the kettle on.

'It's amazing what the promise of frequent sex brings out in a manbold;" color="#d42699"">'font-weight: bold;" color="#d42699"">1.6em;" color="#d42699"">

So much for Colin worrying about this taking the spontaneity out of sex: this feels impulsive and slightly wicked.

I arrive at work with a smug smile on my face (though guiltily note that this also means I'm off the hook at bedtime, having done the day's deed already).

DAY TWO

Home from work later than usual, I walk in to find the table beautifully set with candles and flowers and dinner in the oven.

The last time Colin did this was our wedding anniversary, but this is just an ordinary evening. It's amazing what the promise of frequent sex brings out in a man.

DAY THREE

Home to find the table set and Colin's cooking again - I could get used to this. I feel spoilt, especially when he refuses to let me wash up and sends me upstairs for a soak in the bath. This is beginning to feel as much a gift for me as for Colin.

DAY FOUR

I've stayed late at work and missed the last bus home, so I've had to fork out for a taxi when I'm dangerously close to payday. I'm in a foul mood when I walk into the house and am greeted by the same scene as the last two days.

'God, this is starting to feel like Groundhog Day,' I snap unkindly. We eat in silence, and I start to feel guilty when I think how much effort Colin is making. 'Leave the dishes,' I tell him. 'It's time for your present.'

DAY FIVE

Last night could so easily have ended with us going to sleep not speaking after I arrived home so tired and grumpy.

Instead we slept wrapped up in each other's arms, just like the old days. It's Saturday, so we're less restricted on when we can make love. We decide to get our chores done: the house needs cleaning and Colin needs to tackle the garden.

We're shattered and fall asleep on the sofa. Colin's snoring wakes me up just before midnight. 'Quick,' I tell him, as I shake him awake and push the cats out of the room. 'Otherwise it won't count.'

DAY SIX

Sundays in our house are normally lazy affairs, but today we've got a christening to go to and we're running late.

We vow to make love as soon as we get home, but while Colin doesn't drink, I'm partial to champagne, and it's been flowing all afternoon.

Back home, all I want to do is go to bed and sleep, but, of course, I can't.

Struggle: Sarah has to wake Colin up on day five to make love before midnight so that 'it still counts'

DAY SEVEN

I'm beginning to wonder if this was such a good idea.

Last night, love-making felt like a chore for the first time, and because neither of us was particularly in the mood we just went through the motions.

I'm not looking forward to bedtime and Colin admits he's not interested either. Sure enough, we fall asleep without any marital relations taking place. Looks like this could be over before it got started.

DAY EIGHT

I wake up cross with both of us that we've given up so easily, and tell Colin we've got to make up for last night by making love twice today.

We tackle the project with renewed vigour before work and then again straight after dinner.

'At least now we can go to bed and go straight to sleep,' says Colin. I feign indignation, but he's only said exactly what I was thinking.

DAY NINE

Colin wakes up hoping for a repeat performance of yesterday, but I'm not playing. I have to be in work early. 'Tonight, I promise,' I say as we kiss goodbye.

What's normally a brief kiss turns into a passionate one - not bad considering we've been together more than a decade. I think about Colin regularly through the day.

DAY TEN

My sister calls to remind me that I've promised to baby-sit my 11 and 14-year-old nieces this weekend. I tell her that I'm worried this might impact on our lovemaking.

'Welcome to my world,' she scoffs, before telling me I can't back out on my sisterly duties. I tell Colin that we have to practise being very quiet.

DAY 11

The girls arrive armed with DVDs and bags of sweets, and announce they want to stay up really late, just like they did last time they stayed over. By 11pm, I'm pleading with them to go to sleep.

'Forget it,' I snap at Colin when I finally get under the duvet. There's no way I can do that with the girls awake on the other side of the wall.

DAY 12

'I've lost 2lb. All this extra exercise is doing me good'

Little wonder couples with children complain they don't have enough sex: finding an opportunity with these two in the house is all but impossible.

In the end, I send them out with a long shopping list, set the timer on my phone to go off in ten minutes and drag Colin upstairs. 'Look on it as a challenge,' I tell him.

DAY 13

The girls go home and we've got the house to ourselves. Midmorning I say breezily: 'I'll just vacuum and then we can go to bed.'

Bad move. I accidentally suck up one of the girl's hair bobbles and it gets stuck in the machine.

It takes Colin an hour to get it going again, by which time love is the last thing on either of our minds. But we do it anyway and then go out for lunch, something we realise we just don't do often enough.

DAY 14

I go out for a drink after work with a girlfriend and tell her about our project. 'You must be mad,' she says, before warning me that our friendship will be ruined if Colin or I tell her husband what we're up to. 'Don't you dare go giving him any daft ideas.'

DAY 15

I'm going to be working late tonight, so I set the alarm for 6am so we can get our duties out of the way before the day gets started. Colin grunts when I try to nudge him awake. 'I need my sleep,' he groans.

Maybe he'll be a bit more understanding when he's in the mood for love and I say that I'm too tired.

DAY 16

Friends come round for a midweek dinner and comment on how attentive we seem to each other. I keep quiet about why, having taken note of my friend's reaction earlier in the week, but throw Colin a wink.

We're definitely a lot more tactile with each other, and have started flirting again.

DAY 17

I spoke too soon - we've had a huge row over the fact that Colin forgot to put out the bin last night and now we're up to our eyes in rubbish.

He can't see why I'm making such a fuss, which only makes me madder. The last thing I want to do is to make love with Colin. Normally something like this would be the perfect excuse to withhold sex, but that's not an option.

It's difficult to stay cross with someone you've made love to - Colin promises to make a trip to the tip and all is forgiven.

DAY 18

I've got a streaming cold and a headache. Colin is keeping his distance. 'What about a cuddle?' I ask as I splutter into a tissue. 'No thanks,' says Colin. 'I'm sleeping in the spare room.'

DAY 19

Still poorly, so I stay in bed. Colin spends the day bringing me hot drinks and homemade soup, and does all the housework so I can rest.

He's never been this attentive when I've had a cold before - all this lovemaking has made him a changed man.

DAY 20

The weekend has been a write-off on the sex front, yet Colin and I feel closer and more relaxed than we have in a long time.

It brings it home to me how important regular sex in a marriage is to nurture the bond you share.

DAY 21

Back to work, and I'm almost restored to full health. I send Colin a flirty text hinting at the fun we'll be able to enjoy when we see each other later. I can't believe I'm chatting up my own husband.

DAY 22

I notice that my trousers are a little looser, so I step on the scales and discover I've lost 2lb. All this extra exercise is doing me good.

DAY 23

A friend is in town and stays the night. I'd emailed her at the start of the month and told her what we were doing, which she brings up over dinner, joking that we'd better not keep her awake tonight.

This puts Colin in a bad mood because I've let slip what we're up to, and when she goes to bed he has a go at me for being indiscreet. I try to laugh it off, but he's really cross about it. He refuses to make love. I lie awake fuming - isn't it supposed to be the woman who withholds favours?

DAY 24

Colin wakes feeling guilty and suggests we make up for missing out yesterday. I realise that the argument will only escalate if I refuse. Instead, we make love and the grumpiness vanishes. We make love again that evening, our row long forgotten.

DAY 25

I meet my mum for lunch and she comments on how fresh-faced I appear. 'Have you discovered a new foundation?' she asks.

I must say I feel more attractive and better about myself than I have in years. Feeling desired does wonders for a woman's self-esteem.

DAY 26

I'm having to factor in an extra ten minutes into my daily grooming regime so I can shave my legs, and I'm wearing more make-up than usual.

I'm going to continue with this after the month is up - it's nice to feel groomed, whether it's with sex in mind or not.

DAY 27

We're near the end of Colin's gift, so we decide to spend the entire day in bed, just as we did on Sundays when we first became a couple. It's not just about sex - it's about relishing shutting out the rest of the world. We'd like a family, so we need to make the most of days like this.

DAY 28

We've made love 25 times in 28 days, and there's no question that we've grown closer as a result.

I thought I might be relieved to get to the last day, but I'm just determined to make sex far more of a priority than it used to be.

My friend has lent me a DVD I've wanted to watch for ages, so I put it on after dinner. Colin and I cuddle up on the sofa together to watch it - normally he spreads out on one chair while I take over another.

'When did we stop doing this?' I ask him. We go to bed tired and we've got work in the morning.

'Let's just cuddle,' says Colin, and as we drift off to sleep it feels like the perfect end to the present that ended up being a gift not just for Colin, but for our marriage, too...

border: medium none;"">

Indian holy man calls sex tape 'false campaign' (CONTAINS MILDLY EXPLICIT CONTENT)

Posted by Jane Okinedo on March 30, 2010 at 5:33am

Nine people have been arrested after ransacking the headquarters of one of India's most famous Hindu holy men, Paramhamsa Nityananda, after a local television played a video that appeared toshow him in bed with two women.

Nityananda seems to have gone into hiding before the villagers attacked his compound, some 19 miles from the southern city of Bangalore. 100 police officers are now reported to be protecting the ashram, which houses a variety of Nityananda's followers.

A Hindu holy man, Swami Nityananda is reported to have over 2 million followers and has over 11 ashrams in India and 26 in different countries around the world.

The video tape of the swami, though relatively tame by Western standards, has greatly angered both his followers and critics. One villager told the BBC, "He is a high-flying Swamiji doing fraud on innocent people, he should not be spared."

The Nithyananda Mission ashram released a statement calling the video "a mix of conspiracy, graphics and rumours".

A Hindu holy man in India has denied any wrongdoing, days after video emerged apparently showing him engaging in sexual acts
with two women.

A spokesman for Nithyananda Swami said he was at the Kumbh Mela festival and would soon "clear the air".

In a video released on Sunday, the guru said he had done nothing illegal and
the scandal was "a false campaign".

His ashram near the southern city of Bangalore was vandalised last week after TV channels broadcast
the video..

'Nothing illegal'

In a message on his official website on Sunday, the guru asked his followers
to remain calm and patient.

"I assure all of you that nothing illegal has been done by me or my organisation. We are in the process of
collecting evidence to establish this lie and the motive behind this
false campaign," he said.

Swamiji, as he is known to his followers, said he would soon provide an explanation and answer all
their queries.

"There is total transparency at the ashram and all allegations of illegal activity are baseless and motivated," ashram
spokesman Satichandananda told a press conference on Monday.

Meanwhile, cases have been filed against the holy man in the southern city of
Madras (Chennai) for "outraging the people's religious sentiments".

The guru's followers allege the video was created and distributed by a
jealous inmate of the ashram in a bid to defame him.

Last week the ashram called the footage "a mix of conspiracy, graphics and
rumours".

Nithyananda Swami has a huge following in southern India and the video shocked his devotees and angered locals.

WATCH: This appears to be the original broadcast, but can't say for certain (CONTAINS MILDLY EXPLICIT CONTENT)

Omotola's husband says: After 14 years: Our sex life is still hot -Captain Mathew Ekeinde and star actress

Posted by NollywoodMohits on February 22, 2010 at 2:16pm

After 14 years: Our sex life is still hot -Captain Mathew Ekeinde and star actress, Omotola Jalade Ekeinde

By Samuel Olatunji

Sunday, February 21, 2010

When they got married in an aircraft 14 years ago not a few expected the marriage to crash. An actress and pilot couple is a tricky combination. But against all odds, Captain Mathew Ekeinde and star actress, Omotola Jalade Ekeinde are still very much in love and the marriage is waxing stronger. Captain Matthew spoke to us on the marriage and their Valentine experience.

Photos by Kelechi Amadi Obi/Family magazine

What does love mean to you sir?

I don’t think somebody has ever asked me that question; nevertheless, I think love means where you heart is, and where your heart is, is where you concentrate your energy. Love is giving your best to the ones you love.

Is Valentine’s Day of any significance to you?

My brother, all this Valentine thing does not make any difference to me. I don’t have to wait till it is Valentine to buy my wife a car or buy her a gift or let her know how much I love her. I do these continuously and it’s part of me. I think Valentine’s Day is just a day set out by white men to do something extra-special which is usually not the case. It is a day to look back on your love life with your partner and see ways you two can improve, what you can add and what you can do without. For me, it’s no big deal because there is nothing I’ll do to my wife on Valentine’s Day that I haven’t done to her on a normal day.

Are you sure this is not your own way of dodging Valentines gifts?

(Laughs) It’s not my way of dodging; it is just the way I am .But she’ll surely get her gift.

So, where are you spending Valentine’s Day?

To be honest with you, I don’t even know because I might not be in the country by then .I am supposed to go for a training course. Secondly, she is actually doing a recording, so I am not really sure if she is going to be around but if we are both around, I might take her out or do something extra-special for her. I know she likes Chinese food a lot, so maybe I’ll take her to a Chinese restaurant but I don’t think I am going to travel far because of Valentine’s Day.

Are you buying her any special gift?

(Sighs) Well, I have been thinking of buying her shoes and bags because she loves them, so I’m going to buy her shoes she has never had before but she doesn’t know about it.

What is it that you cannot do for love?

I can’t commit suicide (laughs). I can do anything for love, but I don’t think I can commit suicide for love.

How long have you been together?

This year marks our 14th year.

How have you been coping for 14 years with a celebrity?

First of all, I think it is God , because a few people have asked me that question and I have searched over the years and I’ve come to know that if she was not my God- given partner, I can guarantee you that we wouldn’t still be together today and that is the problem with a lot of married couples especially the pilot and the entertainer. If you want to compare those marriages that are not God approved, you’ll see that they don’t last a year talk less of 14 years. So, if I’m opportune to preach to singles, I will tell them to wait for their God-given partner because if they don’t wait, they’ll always fall apart. She (Omotola) is my God -given partner and that is why we both can tolerate each other and be patient with one another.

Some people say to build a working marriage, you should play the fool or you need to be a fool. Sometimes, do you play the fool?

No, because I think we are open and honest with one another. I get the feeling that my wife travels much more than I do and I’ve never had to fear whether she is cheating on me or something. I trust her with the whole of my heart, 100%. So, I don’t play the fool, there is no need for it. I believe I am straight forward with her and I believe she’s straight forward with me.

Are you saying that it has never crossed your mind that she may be cheating?

No. I don’t think about it.

But is it possible not to think about things like that especially when you are married to an actress?

When I say I don’t think about it, I mean, even when the thought comes, I just change channel. It is like when you are watching the T.V. and you switch to a T.V. station but don’t like what they are doing, you just change the channel to another station to see what might interest you. So, when the thoughts come, I’m like, it’s not possible and I change my mind and concentrate on something else or do what I have to do.

What is it that your wife can do that you can never forgive her?

If she cheats on me, I’ll never forgive her.

But someone said, you have caught her once and have forgiven her.Is this true?

(Laughs); That’s the press for you. For the past six years now, there is this rumor that has been spreading, they alleged that we were no longer together. In fact, when I went to Germany last year to do some things on our aircraft, I met some Nigerians there and they said, “Oga, why did you leave your wife now? We heard that you are now married to a white woman and she has a child for you”. I was dumbfounded by this statement and I had to tell them it wasn’t the truth. We still get emails and phone calls up till date asking why we separated and stuffs like that. So, it is not true. I have never caught my wife cheating, there has not been such experience.

Recently, some newspaper had it that she wanted to go for breast enlargement; I just don’t know where people get these stories from. Some people just sit down, write a story and publish it on the net, waiting to see how people will react. My wife does not have the intention of doing breast enlargement, neither have I caught her in any unfaithful act. They are all rumors.

Are you beating your chest that your wife has never cheated on you?

I am not only beating my chest, I’m beating the back of the chest too. (both laugh)

Somebody once alleged that you are a flirt, is this true?

Have they caught me before? If I am a player, that means I am a regular player and if I am regular, I am bound to slip once if not twice. So, if they think they’ve got evidence, they can show it.

Are you saying you have been absolutely faithful?

I have been trying my best. No one is perfect but I am trying. There is nobody that doesn’t get tempted. I am sure all married men had instances where they see a pretty lady and they wished they weren’t married but the next step you take after the temptation is what distinguishes you. My wife is not the only pretty woman in Nigeria. I have had instances where is see pretty women and I am like, I wish I had this one. It’s a thought, so, I just move on and get it off my head.

Can you tell us about your love story so far?

Our love story so far has been great though it’s been quite challenging. Challenges especially from the press about things they write about her but like the bible says, those who know their God shall never be shaken like Mount Zion. So, for me, I know my wife and my wife knows me and like I said earlier, I trust her with everything I am. When these issues come up, we talk about it and we move on. Our love story so far has been good and I know a lot of people look up to us. So even when we don’t have any other reasons, we’ll stay together because of the people that look up to us.

How did you meet her and how did the loving start?

I met her in church. My immediate elder sister introduced us because I was ready to get married. Then my sister said, there is this cute girl in my church, although, she is a bit young. Tola, was just sixteen (16) and I was twenty-six (26). So, she invited me to their Wednesday service. I got there from work around 7:30pm when the service was up and I met her there. We were friends until she turned eighteen (18), but I have always liked her but I wasn’t really interested because of her age. When she turned eighteen, I saw her from another perspective and that was when I told her I was going to marry her. At first, she thought I was joking, so I went behind her back and told her mom because during our two years of friendship, I have known her mom very well.

So, you went to church looking for a wife?

(Laughs) No. I didn’t go to church to hunt for a wife, I went to church to meet Tola because my sister wanted to introduce her to me. So, I didn’t go to church hunting for a wife, rather, I went to church to meet Tola. To me, hunting for a wife means, to scan all the women in the church and finally pick one. I didn’t do that, I was only there to meet her.

How has it been with the press? Has any of those reports gotten to you?

Some of them give me cause for concern. I just wonder why people would go out of their ways to imagine things, just like the recent one that has been going on both in the papers and on the internet that she is going to New Jersey to go and do breast enlargement so that she can compete with Mercy Johnson. I don’t know why people will just sit down and come up with such a story, I don’t understand. It amazes me.

Have you seen anything that made you call your wife to ask questions?

Yes, when she played in the movie, Prostitute. That was the film where they showed a purely naked woman with her nipples, her buttocks and all that. She didn’t know and we bought the film like any other person and watched it. When I saw it, I asked her ‘what is this! That definitely can’t be you’. Of course, I know my wife’s breast and my wife’s body and what I saw was different plus the person was a lot darker in complexion. Immediately, she called KINGSLEY Ogoro, who was the producer, and she said, ‘Kingsley, you never told me you are going to show something like this, why did you do that?’ I also spoke to him and I told him it was unprofessional, to deceive your artistes after you have finished a movie.

Aside the movies, has there been any other thing that made you ask her questions?

No. There have always been rumors. A rumor had it that my wife wanted to do breast augmentation because she was dating Desmond Eliot. They said, Desmond did not like the size of her boobs, that they were too small, that he wants it like Mercy Johnson’s. So, that is why Omotola wants to go to New Jersey for breast augmentation so as to satisfy Desmond Eliot. (Laughs) I am sick of their rumors. They once alleged that she has gone out with RMD and some producers. One of the things I enjoy about the rumor is that, when they will report the truth, it will be too hard to believe. I have come to realize that most of the stories they write have no substance.

Does it cross your mind that it could be true ..?

No. Tola has been very fortunate with the press. They started writing anything after six, seven years of our marriage. She never got any negative story from the press during our first six, seven years. When it started, of course, I was concerned but I later got to understand that, they write these things because they are looking for what to write and if you are in the public eye, they will try to trump-up something that is not true about you to make the headlines. So, initially when it started, I was worried but when I investigated and found it was without substance, I just didn’t worry about what they say. They can say she’s sleeping with Yar’Adua, for all I care, it doesn’t bother me.

So, there is nothing they will say that will shake your marriage?

Nothing, though they have tried. If you have been in this media business since ten years, you’ll know that they have tried. There is no kind of story that they haven’t tried. I try to buy every magazine that has her story, either good or bad. I wonder why they continue to try.

Why did you decide to get married in the air?

Oh, excellent; that was my idea. I told her and she complied. We’ve always wanted to do something different and in the uncommon way. If you’ll remember, I was the first to start using a personalized plate number and she was the first in the industry when I bought her a brand new car .The number plate was ‘OMOTOLA1’. A few months after I bought her the car , Saint Obi bought the same car and used ‘SAINT’ as his plate number. I like to do my things in a unique way; I mean, everybody goes to church to get married, let’s do ours differently. Luckily for me, I was able to convince the MD of the Israeli airline (Sky Line) that I was working for then and I told him that it would be a marketing medium for airlines because I know newspapers and television will cover it. So, we got married because we wanted to do something different.

There is this tendency for one to be married and the love fades, when you get to that stage, what do you do to renew your love?

The good thing about it is that it is God’s doing. Don’t forget that it is not your doing that makes a marriage work. You do 10% and God does the rest because if you are married to your God-given partner, there’s nothing that can break you two up, nothing. Not only that, you need to be strong in the Lord as well. There are a lot of people that have gotten their God-given partner but they have allowed the devil to come in to scatter it. So, spiritually, it is God that is renewing it. Of course, there are times I don’t feel like I am 100 percent in love, but it happens once in a blue moon and for just few minutes. I mean there are times I see her maybe after taking her bath and I still get turned on and she’ll say ‘oh boy, you no dey tire? After fourteen years your blood is still pumping’ (Laughs). For me, I am not tired at all and the good thing is that she keeps her figure and that was why I gave her the nickname because the first car I bought her was ‘OMOTOLA1’, the second was ‘OMOT’ and third one, which is the Jeep, is ‘OMOSEXY’ because she has got this sexy figure that is a turn-on for me.

What do you do to renew the love when you have a down moment?

I don’t do anything.

Some people will go on vacation or do away with the kids, what you do think?

I don’t think that will renew anything. It is all in the mind. It’s your mindset that matters. For example, If you and your wife are having a misunderstanding, especially during this Valentine period, and you took her to Dubai for a day, will that bring the love back? I don’t think so. If you guys were fighting from home and you had to go to Dubai because you have booked the flight like two weeks before the day and you go, do you think because you are travelling now, you guys will come back? No. So if your mind is programmed to always love your wife even when she is wrong or when she’s not happy, you’ll have a good home. I don’t know how to keep someone in mind, so when you offend me, I tell you immediately and it ends there, I learnt that from my dad.

Have you had a serious quarrel before?

Ah, I can’t tell you that.I can’t tell you that, you can talk from now till next year laye, I can’t tell you that.

I noticed that the children are in the boarding house… are you not scared that they might imbibe foreign values?

No, my kids are in a very good school and their school is costing me a lot…a beautiful school that they treat them like an ajebo. Too much of an ajebo self and they are here in Nigeria. It’s a private school and we see them once every month. It is just the last one that is with us because he is not old enough to go to secondary school.

Has sex actually become boring for you and your wife?

If I tell you this you may not believe but God is my witness, 14 years on sex with my wife is not boring, you can understand why I could dig deep to give her that name omosexy. When you find something sexy can you be tired of it? You see the same appetite a man has to look for different women because they are bored with one, is the same appetite I use in looking at her all the time . That is why I gave her that name and like I said she has managed to keep her figure even after four children …she is looking more gorgeous. That is the truth my brother.

So despite the fact that you said it is not boring, why do you get tempted and you still fall sometimes?

Well I don’t fall, if you say I have fallen that means I’m done but I have not fallen.

So you’ve not fallen to the hands of another woman?

No.The bible says resist the devil and he will flee.

Sometimes you see the devil and you don’t want to resist him…

(Laughs) I agree with you my brother, that is why I said for me the way I have decided to handle it is that when I see them I think… yes you can admire but I move on. By the time you stay concentrating on looking at the woman and you are admiring her and by that time you know you are lusting after her, before you know you are tempted to say ‘Hi’. That is where the problem is but if you discipline yourself, there is no crime in admiring a girl after all, when we go out, she’ll say, ‘men that guy is fine o’ and I’ll say he’s a fine guy. So, for me, that is the way I have trained myself to deal with it; I admire and I move on.

Has money been an issue before because your wife once said that romance without finance is not sweet, what’s your take?

Well, she can say that now because I am there buying her all the cars. (Laughs) If I didn’t have the money to buy her a thing, I don’t know what would have happened; but then, she’s a well brought up child; there is no woman that doesn’t like to be pampered, there is no woman that doesn’t like money, there is no woman that wants to suffer; but I thank God that we are both independent. In fact, it is one of those things we’ve never argued about from day one. Sometimes, when we talk about it, I call her attention and say, ‘OMOT’; you know we have never argued about money? The reason is simple, my salary and my allowances as a captain is paid into an account that she has access to and her money is also paid into that account. So, what we do is that, whatever project we have, either to build a house or buy a car, travel abroad and stuffs like that, we’ll put it in our monthly budget and if the money we have in the bank is not enough to cover to budget, we sit down and sort out things we can eliminate or carry over till next month. So, we do it together and that is one reason why we have never quarrelled over money matter. We are open to each other, we know how much we have and then we do things together and that is where some people have problem.

Do you maintain a joint account?

Yes. All our joint accounts and current accounts, our shares, our house, our cars bear our names, Matthew and Omotola Ekehinde.Yes because we have learnt and by God’s grace, we watch T.V. programmes and we hear what’s happening. It has been in my upbringing because if you are open from day one, there is nothing that can bring you back.

Do you foresee anything breaking your marriage?

Only God can and I am sure He won’t because the Bible says “what the Lord has joined together, no man should put asunder” I trust my wife to the extent that, even if she’s in bed with a man, naked, nothing can happen. (Chuckles)

When did you put that thing there?

I will not tell you, when you see God, you ask Him. She can go anywhere in the world, act a nude film, of course, she can never act nude, but just for the sake of argument, if she’s in bed, naked with seven men, nothing can ever happen; that is how confident I am.

It started from day one. She knows; it is just like saying, if you eat this thing, you will die, so if you don’t want to die, will you go and eat it?

What is your advice for married couples?

Well, the first advice I have for them is that, they should stick to the Lord; they should continue to have the fear of God in them. God will show you how to treat your spouse, how you guys can live in harmony, how you can raise your kids, how to relate with your relatives. So, the first thing any person that wants to get married should do, is to seek the face of God because marriage is a life-long thing. So if they can observe a three- day fasting and prayer session and have their Pastors pray with them they will succeed. Once they can pray and God gives them the go-ahead they should proceed. Also, they both need to be disciplined because the devil is always at work, they must learn to resist temptation

Mother of five dies in hotel after sex romp

Posted by Jane Okinedo on February 1, 2010 at 7:48pm

A 52-year-old housewife simply identified as Folorunsho was on Friday found dead in a guest house where she lodged with a male companion.advertisement hereFolorunsho, a mother of five, was said to have arrived Ayoola Guest House on Old Ota Road, Isale Odo, Agege, Lagos with the suspected lover at about 10pm.The man, whose identity is still unknown, was said to have sneaked out of the guest house apparently when he discovered that the woman had died.The corpse of the woman, who was said to be a mother of three sets of twins, was later discovered in one of the hotel rooms by attendants who were on routine check.At the time of the discovery, the deceased was said to be almost stark naked.The hotel management later reported the case at Elere Police Station from where detectives were drafted to the scene.The Public Relations Officer, Lagos State Police Command, Mr. Frank Mba, confirmed the incident to our correspondent on Sunday.Mba, a superintendent of police, said that the woman died "in very controversial circumstances."He said it was suspected that the deceased and the male companion had lodged in the guest house for "some amorous games."The police spokesman said that the corpse had been deposited at Isolo General Hospital for autopsy.He added that the police had already launched a manhunt for the fleeing man.Our correspondent learnt that some hotel attendants who saw the man when he came in hand-in-hand with the deceased were said to have described him to policemen and were helping in the investigation.

Tragic sex in Calabar: Man, 54, dies atop 20-yr-old girl

Posted by 9jabook.com on December 22, 2009 at 8:53pm

Tragedy struck last Friday at about 11:30pm as a 54-year-old man, Mr. Patrick Omini Ewoh, died having marathon sex with his 20-old heart throb at a guest house in Ugep, Yakurr Local Government Area of Cross River State. advertisement The late Mr. Ewoh was said to have met his untimely death when on that fateful day, he decided to have fun with his little damsel. An eye-witness told Daily Sun that the lover-man after he had gone out with his wife to visit one of the family friends, who lost the husband decided to drop off the wife and then called up the girlfriend on phone to meet him at their usual sex zone that evening. A few minutes after, the account continued, the young girl showed up at the guest house, located in the outskirts of Ugep, where they had treated each other to some bottles of beer spiced up with cans of energy drinks and suya in apparent readiness for the marathon. Having done with little entertainment, Ewoh, who was the treasurer of Ugep General Hospital, proceeded with his ‘baby girl’ to his hotel room for a short time. But barely 30 minutes, the young girl quickly dashed out of the room and headed for the road pretending she wanted to buy something outside. However, the burble burst when after about one-hour and-forty-minutes the man did not come out. One of hotel attendants tapped at the door persistently, but was shocked that there was no response from inside. The attendant forced the door open and saw to his chagrin the fun-seeking man panting and gasping for breath, perhaps after a round of sex. He quickly called up the owner of the hotel, one Mr. Thomas Eteng, a retired military officer, who in turn reported the incident to Ugep Police Station for necessary action. When police arrived the scene, they rushed Ewoh to Ugep General Hospital where doctors on call battled to resuscitate him but to no avail. Fearing that he might die at the same hospital, where he served as treasurer, the doctors advised that he be taken to Calabar General Hospital for urgent medical attention. However, 30 minute after they took off to Calabar, the ‘lover man’ gave up the ghost. A close relative, who was in the pick-up jeep that brought him back, confided in Daily Sun that the corpse had been deposited at Ugep General Hospital mortuary while arrangements are on to bury the late Ewoh. The relative, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said the family is trying to fish out the girl and that they have reported to the police for necessary action, adding that the death of his uncle is a shameful thing that does not deserve public attention and wondered how the news leaked out to a journalist. When Daily Sun visited the Ugep Police station, the authorities refused to comment on the matter claiming that the matter has at Calabar Police Command.

Yahoo News: Prostitutes to charge Nothing to UN climate summit participants

Posted by 9jabook.com webmadam on December 10, 2009 at 2:00am

Prostitutes of a Danish sex workers association will offer their services plus no charges to delegates of the UN climate summit in Copenhagen, an association official told AFP Saturday. Skip related content

An undated photograph showing a prostitute solliciting a client Enlarge photo Susanne Moeller said the move was meant to protest an anti-prostitution initiative undertaken by Copenhagen city hall. The city, host of the December 7-18 UN climate summit, distributed postcards in Copenhagen's hotels that said "Be sustainable: Don't buy sex." It also sent letters to hotel managers inviting them to take measures to avoid prostitutes meeting clients in their establishments. The prostitutes, whose work is not illegal in Denmark, promptly reacted to the move. "All delegates who come to Copenhagen for the world climate summit will be able to use the postcards for payment after making a request on our website," Moeller, of the Danish association for the defense of sex workers, said. "We do not expect many delegates (to make use of the offer), but we want to protest what we consider discrimination," Moeller said, adding the offer was good for the duration of the climate talks. The Copenhagen summit aims to craft an international climate accord to replace the Kyoto protocol, which expires in 2012.

Lagos: Married woman dies during sex romp with lover

Posted by 9jabook.com on October 27, 2009 at 10:49pm

It was a show of shame on Sunday when a woman who lied to her husband that she was going for a night vigil died in a popular hotel (names withheld) during a sex romp with her lover. advertisement The mother of seven identified as Modinat Alabi, 45, of Ereko Street, Fadeyi, Lagos, had lied to her husband a devout muslim that she was going for a night vigil but ended up lodging in a hotel with one Hezekiah Ladipo, 62, who also lives in the same street with the deceased. The duo, Daily Sun learnt, lodged in the hotel as husband and wife. Daily Sun also gathered that the suspect, Ladipo also is married with three children. It was gathered that on the fateful day, the two lovers had lodged in the hotel, at about 2.45 am. Hezekiah reportedly rushed to the reception, where he complained that his wife collapsed and was gasping for breath during sex romp.

It was further gathered that when the receptionist rushed to the guest room, the woman who was naked had already given up the ghost. Daily Sun learnt that when it dawned on Hezekiah that the woman was dead, he attempted to run away. The hotel management who suspected foul play arrested him and called in the police. A police source told Daily Sun that it was during investigation that the suspect confessed that the woman he initially claimed as his wife was actually another man’s wife. When the deceased’s husband was contacted, he was shocked, as he expected the wife to be at the night vigil. However, the state police spokesman, Mr. Frank Mba, who confirmed the story told Daily Sun that the suspect was being investigated to know if there was ulterior motive rather than sex romp before the woman died. He described the act as shameful. He said the corpse has been deposited at a public mortuary for autopsy while investigation is going on.

Married man's Cry:HELP ME ? Condom Broke While Having Sex With "prostitute"

Posted by cozzy webtatafo on July 15, 2009 at 4:48am

akeem's real name is with held . I am a 34 year old hapily married man with a fantastic wife and 2 kids. My wife is the greatest, but last night I got tempted into going to a brothel to see what it's like after many of my friends told me that as long as you wear a condom you wont get hiv . My firends normally call me woman wrapper and We went out clubbing one night i normally go out with my wife but this time she went for one owambe party/ I ended up going with this nice girl and she gave oral sex (unprotected) and then we had full sex. i was quite drunk too. However the condom broke, I realised this after about 30 seconds and tried to withdraw but she held me back until ejaculation. She got a new condom, I put it on and then I finished. She says that she has an AIDS test every 3 months and she has not had a test in 4months and must have had sex with over 60 men including students. But I was not sure until A friend of mine got tested positive recently and he flew out of the country for treatment. Rumours are he has slept with all the girls we had met at the party we went .All from Lasu (Lagos state university.) All the guys in my click have run tio take tests but no one is saying anything ! I am a very sad man, I do not understand why I did it and I WISH I could turn back the clock. I am sorry for myself today. I feel guilty as sin and pray to be forgiven. What are my chances? I want to tell my wife to protect her but she may leave me and if not probably NEVER forgive and trust me again. We have sex quite regular (without protection) and will know something is wrong if I don't want sex. I really do love her very much. I will NEVER ever do this again! What do I do? it has been like 2months since and i am afraid to take a test ! Please help this foolish foolish man. akeem

Say a prayer before sex

Posted by frank adeche Mr Netchurch on September 5, 2009 at 3:09am

Couples are being encouraged to pray together before sex in a new book published by prominent church group Catholic Truth Society.

A special prayer to help couples "purify their intentions" is one of a number set out in the Prayer Book for Spouses. The Prayer Before Making Love implores God "to place within us love that truly gives, tenderness that truly unites, self-offering that tells the truth and does not deceive, forgiveness that truly receives, loving physical union that welcomes". It adds: "Open our hearts to you, to each other and to the goodness of your will". The 64-page book, sold for £1.95, has been published by the London-based Catholic Truth Society, which has links to the Catholic Bishops' Conference of England and Wales. The Rt Rev Paul Hendricks, who is the Auxiliary Bishop of Southwark, told the Daily Mail: “'It is important for the Church to affirm the value of marriage and family life and I suppose this is a particular way of doing that. “Perhaps it is something that has not been tried, certainly for a while – I can't remember seeing something like that before.” The book contains prayers for every stage of marriage and family life, including engagement, planning for parenthood, pregnancy and caring for children and elderly parents. The book expresses criticism of “those who, in our times, consider it too difficult, or indeed impossible, to be bound to one person for the whole of life, and those caught up in a culture that rejects the indissolubility of marriage and openly mocks the commitment of spouses to fidelity”. The prayer Father, send your Holy Spirit into our hearts. Place within us love that truly gives, tenderness that truly unites, self-offering that tells the truth and does not deceive, forgiveness that truly receives, loving physical union that welcomes. Open our hearts to you, to each other and to the goodness of your will. Cover our poverty in the richness of your mercy and forgiveness. Clothe us in our true dignity and take to yourself our shared aspirations, for your glory, for ever and ever. Mary, our Mother, intercede for us. Amen.

Censorship chief escapes lynching for soliciting sex from minor

The director general of the Kano State Film and Censorship Board, Abubakar Rabo Abdulkarim, was nearly lynched over the weekend when a mob attacked him for soliciting sex from an under-aged girl.

More...

Note: this page contains paid content.

Note: this page contains paid content.

Note: this page contains paid content.