It’s the age old question, why is it that these men who have a track record of cheating, laziness and non reciprocation on an emotional, physical and mental level in their relationship always seem to hold on to that dedicated woman who just can’t seem to wake up and understand that her relationship is either going NOWHERE or just a deadbeat dream that will never amount to anything?

Click the widget below to hear the entire program! This show was a gem!

Urban Reproductive Health Initiative, NURHI, has disclosed that not less than 750,000 abortions are committed yearly in the country, bemoaning the lackadaisical attitude of the three tiers of government to family planning.

Among these women that commit abortion, 545 of them  die per 100,000 most of whom are married women whose percentage was put at 35. 

This was disclosed by Mrs. Stella Akinso, State Team Leader, NURHI, and Dr. Celina Johnson at a sensitization workshop organised for various stakeholders in the helath sector in Ibadan.

NURHI with other groups such as Development Communication Network, Planned Parenthood Federation of Nigeria and many others assembled participants to enlighten them more on safe motherhood.

The workshop which witnessed large turn out also called the attention of government to the need for disbursing money allocated to family planning to the appropriate quarters.

Some of the participants who were sourced from local governments in the state also appealed to the government to stop diverting the money meant for family planning to other concerns.

MEN BEWARE! •More women buy love charm in lipstick, powder

By RACHAEL AGUNTA

Owerri Road in Asata area of Enugu is as popular as they come. A place where so many things take place, it is always a beehive of activities. On both sides of the road are various business concerns including Bureau de Change, bakeries, restaurants, suya spots among others.  However, one shop stands out from the rest. Situated at No 15, it has an inscription: Spiritual Shop. It is an old building with signs of wear and tear. The paint has faded and the structure begging for attention. Despite the condition of the building, customers are always trooping in and out of the shop. And most of them are women.

Saturday Sun investigation revealed that the shop is a place, where women solicit spiritual help to cage men. With the spiritual support as it were, the women ensnare men and turn them to toy to be manipulated at will. The patrons of the spiritual outfit target randy rich men in the society.  When the under cover reporter visited the shop, all the elements were in place. Pretending to be in need of the spiritual wares, she told the shop owner that she wanted a ‘package’ that would get her attracted to men and also open their purse.

The owner of the shop confided in her, assuring her that the stuff he deals in has the efficacy to achieve the desired result. Boasting that he has been helping women like her over the years to charm men, he maintained it is effective hence “a lot of girls are always coming here to do it”.  The man, who simply identified himself as Jonny, volunteered that he has different brands and specifications of the spiritual products. Explaining the various types available, he said some come in form of lipsticks. According to him, “ if you apply it and a man kissess your lips, he will give you whatever you ask from him”. The cost is N8000. 

When the reporter brought out some money from her purse and started counting same, Johnny became convinced that she was actually interested. He then suggested that there was another one called ‘Love me alone Kit’. The kit, which could be used in different ways, also costs N8000. He said that the content was in power form and usually applied on the private part “and any man who makes love to me would do whatever I request him to do. 

And if I want to have a man permanently, there is a mirror in the kit that would help me to achieve that. He said I would write the name of the man on a paper, call him seven times and place it in front of the mirror. I will also write my own name, call it seven times and place it at the back of the mirror. With this, the man would forget every other woman even if he is married.”The ‘spritualist’ described the product as “a bomb and that there is no day girls do not come here to get it”. While the reporter was there, young and not so young women were trooping into the shop to buy one product or another.

Plateau State governor, Jonah Jang, broke down in tears on Monday in Jos while addressing thousands of protesting women, including female students of the University of Jos, at the State House.

The women, clad in black, showed up in their thousands and wailed and sang sad songs for several hours in Jos, the state capital. The women were protesting the recent violence which has claimed the lives of hundreds of people in Jos.

The governor, overwhelmed by the wailing women, some of whom flung themselves to the ground and rolled around, could not stop the tears from rolling down his face as he addressed them. His wife, Ngo Talatu, who welcomed the protesters, also wept quietly throughout her husband’s speech.

The spokesperson for the protesting women, Rhoda Wal, condemned the failure of the government to address the violence.

“Innocent and harmless women, children and students are being killed in the attacks in our communities and nobody is doing anything about it,” Mrs. Wal said.

“Few attackers were arrested but that was the last that we heard about them while our sons who are defending their communities are indiscriminately arrested and put in prisons,” she added.

The women also complained that they and their children were no longer safe in their homes and in the markets, and urged the appropriate authorities to do something urgent to address the situation. They also protested against the continued presence of the military’s Special Task Force, whom they accused of being biased, and urged the federal government to reconstitute the force...

The protesters alleged that specific sections of Jos and places of worship were being protected by armoured tanks and heavily armed security personnel while other areas were unguarded and left wide open to attackers. Hausa youth and University of Jos students clashed over the weekend, leading to an intervention by the task force which ended with a few students shot.

“Market women are not safe in their markets and children are not safe in the schools; the majority of casualties in the Christmas Eve bomb blast in Kabong were women,” said Ms. Wal.

The women demanded the immediate relocation of the Farin Gada tomato market, Angwar Rogo settlement, and Bauchi road motor-park, saying that these places constituted security threats to the university communities. They also called on retired military officers, former governors, and traditional rulers in the state to mediate in the crisis.

Operation Rainbow to the rescue

Mr. Jang, pulling himself together, responded to the women by saying that the continued crisis in the metropolis was a ploy to disrupt the ongoing voter registration and forthcoming general elections.

The governor said that Plateau State and federal governments were working on a security outfit he called ‘Operation Rainbow’, to take over the maintenance of security in the state from the military.

Mr. Jang also said that the outfit would comprise of police, retired military officers, and villagers who would be trained to provide security for their various communities.

The governor appealed to the protesters to be patient with the military, saying that they were humans and not saints, an appeal the women rejected with resounding chants of “No!”

Mr. Jang promised the women that all markets close to the University of Jos would be relocated to ensure the security of students and staff.

The speaker of the State House of Assembly, Istifanus Mwansat, also informed the protesters that the legislature was working with the executive to find a lasting solution to the crisis. The protesters had earlier stopped at the State Police Command headquarters where they presented their grievances to the commissioner of police, Abdulrahman Akano.

Court of Appeal resumes sitting

Judges of the Court of Appeal have resumed work in Jos after they rounded off a routine sitting in Gombe State on Friday. The return has put an end to speculation that the court had been relocated to Gombe State following the persistent crisis in Plateau State.

Ambrose Momoh, the director of press and public relations, Federal Ministry of Justice, Abuja, had said the rumour was untrue. Mr. Momoh had told the News Agency of Nigeria that he was not aware of any such order.

Also, public schools in Jos remained closed on Monday as students did not resume despite the directive from the federal government that all schools should open following the expiration of the three weeks ordered for voter registration.

Cassano (right) with a WAG

Sampdoria striker Antonio Cassano is known for his short temper and on-pitch hissy fits, yet in his autobiography, the 26-year-old reveals his near-legendaryinability to keep his pants on when attractive women are around. Cassano, whoonce called the irrefutably-gifted Rosaria .Cannavò his girlfriend, claims tohave put away somewhere in the region of 700 ladies. Our German friends at Bildreport:

“I was engaged four times in 11 years, and I experienced some adventures. I slept with between 600 and 700 girls, 20 of whom belong to the world of the showbusiness.”.

During his time at Real Madrid – where his constant unprofessional behaviour and displays of “disrespect” towards Fabio Capello saw him sidelined andsuspended – Cassano enjoyed some of his best steamrollering years. The Italiansays sex before games was frequent, and he could invite whomever he wanted tothe team hotel.

Between a rock and a hard place: Husband emerges to face warring women who had to be pulled apart

Probably the bravest of all the 33 trapped miners was the one who asked for both his wife and his mistress to greet him on reaching the surface.

Yonni Barrios initially became known as the group’s ‘doctor’.

He used knowledge gained from looking after his diabetic mother to work with medical teams on the surface to diagnose and help the men trapped with him. ..

Trapped miner Yonni Barrios Rojas is greeted by his girlfriend Susana Valenzuela after reaching the surface

Very public display of affection: The entire world watches as Susanna kisses her lover

Row: Marta Salinas, left, wife of trapped miner Yonni Barrios, did not greet him on his return to the surface after it emerged he was having an affair with Susana Valenzuela, right

But very soon the 50-year-old miner became even better known for something rather less noble. His wife and another woman were both holding a vigil for him in Camp Hope.

Marta Salinas, 58, whom he married 28 years ago, reportedly almost came to blows with Susana Valenzuela, 50, when they faced off in the mine’s dining area. The pair had to be pulled apart.

According to Miss Salinas, Barrios had been dividing his time between the two women for the last couple of years. And it was Miss Valenzuela who broke the news to her that there had been an accident at the mine.

As his wife began to get involved in his affairs on Camp Hope, he instructed teams on the surface to deal with his lover instead.

Incredible: Susanna appears unable to believe Barrios is safe as she cusps his face in her hands and clings to him in a long hug

Moments later Barrios, centre, was carried on a stretcher to the triage centre

And as the day of the rescue finally approached, he asked for both of them to wait for him as he emerged from the borehole.

‘He is either very cheeky or very idiotic,’ said a source within the rescue team. ‘He didn’t seem worried at all.’

In the end he was greeted by his mistress, his wife choosing to stay away. He emerged at 8:32pm UK time to be met by tearful Miss Valenzuela.

Enlarge

'Alone at last! All right Maria, you can come out now.'

He looked calm as he gingerly walked towards his mistress, who gave him a long hug, crying on his shoulder and occasionally pulling back to look at him as if to make sure the reunion was really happening.

After he emerged, his wife, who has three sons from an earlier relationship, said she is over Barrios and did not feel ‘anything in particular’.

'Cocky': Barrios, waving to the crowd, was slammed by his ex-wife - but Susanna was unable to hide the joy from her face at his escape

She said: ‘I watched it on television. I’m very pleased they are all coming out well.

‘I’m glad I didn’t go to the mine, it was the correct decision. It would have been wrong if the two of us were there – I have children and grandchildren. That kind of situation wouldn’t have been good for my family, and my sons come first.

‘He is crazy and cocky to think I would do such a thing. I have a sense of decency.’

She said she could tell Barrios was ‘holding back’ in the reunion, as his girlfriend held him tightly and cried.

Rock and a hard place: Miner Yonni Barrios

‘I know she is impulsive, while he behaved properly. He knew I was going to be watching.’ She said she would not be visiting him at the hospital. ‘If he wants to see me or talk to me he can come find me. Otherwise we will talk through our lawyers.

‘I have his belongings and all these gifts people have sent him – he is welcome to have them.’

She said she is not bitter but had a parting shot for her husband and the other miners.

‘This is historic but soon it will be over to the next thing. People move on – in a few years everyone will have forgotten about this.

‘They think they will all be millionaires overnight but it’s not like that. Only the skillful ones will make something from this.’

Mr Barrios is thought not to be alone in his complex domestic arrangements.

According to reports, another Barrios – Carlos – who was rescued yesterday has a five-year-old son with a woman he has not divorced and his girlfriend of seven months is pregnant.

Another miner is said to have four women claiming his affections and perhaps soon-to-be-increased income – a wife he has not divorced, his current live-in girlfriend, a third woman who claims to have had his son and another who says she is having an affair with him.

Forget candlelit dinners, bouquets of flowers and endless compliments.

The way to a woman’s heart lies in wearing a red shirt, it seems.

A chap becomes instantly more desirable to the opposite sex if he has on a scarlet shirt or crimson tie, research shows..

Even a pair of pillar-box red socks could do the trick. The finding could help explain the appeal of Tiger Woods, who sports the colour on the final day of a golf tournament.

And a red suit may have helped Muse singer Matt Bellamy

Photo:One of the photos used in the study, (with the faces in focus) which worked out that the men in red are seen as more attractive by women

The researchers showed women from around the world, including some Britons, pictures of a ‘moderately attractive’ man.

The photos had been doctored to show him wearing shirts of different colours or standing against several backgrounds.

Others were framed in various colours. A dash of red led to the man being viewed as more attractive and desirable. He was also seen as having a higher social status, the Journal of Experimental Psychology reported.

Researcher Andrew Elliot, of Rochester University in the U.S., said that red is associated with power, passion and fertility in the animal kingdom – and people are no different.

‘This suggests that women’s thoughts and feelings toward men are, at least in part, primitive,’ he said.

‘The question “What do women want?” with regard to sexual attraction and desire has puzzled men and scholars for many years.

‘Our research suggests that the answer may be more provocative, than anticipated.’

Wearing red may also make a man feel more self-assured.

Dr Elliot added: ‘The red shirt that Tiger Woods adorns on the final day of golf tournaments likely provides him with a confidence-boosting reminder of his alpha status in the golf world as it simultaneously reminds his competitors they are probably facing another long day.’

Red is also associated with dominance on the football pitch, with previous research finding that teams wearing red strips win more matches.

Its association with dominance and aggression may enhance players’ game. Or perhaps red shirts are simply easier to see, improving their accuracy of passing.

It took a few weeks for Chioma Akachi to accept that her money was truly gone. She had saved N2,000 daily for 22 days with the local ‘ajo’ man popularly called Mr. Matthew, who made rounds every week day at shops and homes in Fola-Agoro and Akoka areas of Lagos. ‘Ajo’ is a Yoruba term that refers to contributory savings, usually by workers, petty traders and small scale business owners, and managed by an individual who gets a percentage of the money gathered at a time as his or her benefit.

Operating under the business name ‘Matt Daily Savings’, he collected an agreed amount from interested savers for 31 days and deducted one day’s savings before returning the customers’ money. However, sometime last month, after collecting over two weeks savings from a number of his customers, he disappeared without giving them any notice and has not been seen since then.

It was not her first time of saving with Mr Matthew, she said. She had been his customer for six months and had some amount of trust in him.

“I have been doing ‘ajo’ with Mr Matthew since I got this shop in January. When I started, I was saving N500 every day. Then later I increased it to N1,000, and then to N2,000. I have been seeing him every weekday for the past six months, until he disappeared last month with a lot of people’s money.”

Even after rumors of his disappearance spread, Mrs Akachi said she still believed that he would show up but had recently given up hope. She said she was introduced to him by a friend who has been his customer for more than two years. The friend, a certain Beatrice Nnaji who sold food stuff and drinks, had a shop two blocks away from hers. Mrs Nnaji recounted a sorry tale. “Because of Mr Matthew, a lot of people are now fighting with me. I introduced him to more than 10 people and he ran away with all our money. They have reported me to my pastor and my husband. Some of them even wanted to take me to the police because they thought I was working with him. He has just spoilt my name.”

No trace.

The only insurance Mr Matthew’s customers had was the fact that he was well known in the area and had most likely been introduced by a loyal customer. However, it proved useless when the only thing most people knew about him upon his disappearance was that he used to ride a bicycle, wore a black cap always and wrote the details of his customer’s savings in a big, hardcover note book.

His Somolu address which was printed on the small booklet he gave to his customers was a dead end as it revealed a recently vacated one room apartment which the landlord had already put up for rent. His phone number was expectedly switched off. One of Mr Matthew’s customers, Ugochi, confirmed that he changed the savings booklet in April, a move which she and most other people did not count as suspicious.

“That Somolu address is different from the one he was using before. He changed the books we were using in April and brought new ones. It was after he ran away that I remembered that the address on the former book was in Palmgrove, and I can’t remember that one.”

It’s a risky affair

Lanre Sofowora, a member of a taxi drivers’ cooperative group in Somolu says that cooperatives are more credible for such daily savings. “People should learn to form co-operatives,” he said. “This way, their money is safer and they can even get loans for their business. The age of doing daily ‘ajo’ with an unknown person is over. This is not the first time I’m hearing about this sort of thing and I’m surprised people still patronise them.”

Nike Bankole, a marketer with a bank says that people should save their money in banks rather than with people who aren’t trustworthy.

“There are banks everywhere now - in markets, in commercial areas. People don’t need to do ‘ajo’ anymore. It is not safe to trust one person with your money like that.” But Mrs Akachi said that her reason for patronising Mr Matthew’s services is not because of an ignorance of banks.

“It’s not that I don’t have a bank account. I do. But when someone comes like that every day to collect money from you, it makes you save more. This ‘ajo’ has really helped me before. I just don’t know why Mr Matthew disappointed us.”

Speaking anonymously, a police officer at Somolu Police Station, where the case was reported admitted that he had heard about the incident but that investigations were hampered by the fact that those reporting the case had no photograph of Mr Matthew and very little information about him.

In the early 90s, when Nollywood was less than a decade old, I had in a three-part studycharacterised it as “providing instant fame for the girl and boy nextdoor and instant fortune for a hybrid of producers.” Nollywood was aphenomenon which in its development had minimal links; technically,professionally and ethically with the older Nigerian Television andCelluloid-film industries. It set its own standards, which sadly, werebased on the business ethics of its principal financiers, electronicequipment traders turned producers/marketers. These basicallyuncultured traders with limited education shaped and called the shotsin Nollywood, driven by the desire for huge profits from littlefinancial, aesthetic and cultural investments.

Women as commodities

They viewed women as ‘commodities’ and worked on the perception that any pretty faceand/or attractive figure (in their eyes) is an automatic actress andstar. Naturally, hordes of all manner, shapes and shades of Nigeriangirls and women propelled by a mixture of poverty, the need forself-promotion and notoriety as well, flocked to the venues where theseproducers and their directors hung out.

It is instructive to note that these Nollywood moguls didn’t need to go out scouting foractresses. Rather, their hang-outs like Winnie’s Hotel in Surulere,became flesh bazaars of aspiring actresses. Skimpily dressed andflaunting their assets they came in droves to attract the attention ofproducers and directors who practically carried out spontaneous publicrehearsals and castings.

Predictably, the Nollywood moguls could bluff, pick and choose whilst the eagerpotential actresses were literarily ready to do anything for bit-parts.That these star-struck girls and women ‘fought’ each other to secureparts and, the moguls in turn well aware of the seemingly unendingtraffic of aspirants, confidently and callously discarded them at willto create a fast turnover, soon became the established rules of theNollywood casting game!

Celebrity driven

It was not dignifying or respectful of women. But what was expected of theseNollywood moguls who held the aces, given their socio-culturalbackground? Nonetheless, the girls and women equally share the blame asthey were willing partners in Nollywood’s early ‘debasement’ ofNigerian women which set a trend that has not been completelyobliterated. There were noticeable improvements as better-educated(mostly Mass Communication and Theatre Arts graduates) women got intothe industry. This raised the social profile of actresses in Nollywoodbut they were still at the mercy of the scriptwriters andproducer-financiers who determined the type of roles they were cast in.

Interestingly, rather than concern themselves about the cinematic image of Nigerianwomen, Nollywood was consolidating, the actresses seemed moreinterested in relatively frivolous talk about whether they would kissin films or act nude. Being celebrities with huge media (particularlyprint) attention became their sole career goal and fulfilment.

Had Nollywood finally succeeded in producing Nigerian actress-equivalents ofHollywood’s dumb blondes? There were other manifestations of earlyHollywood, like strong rumours of sex with the producer/director forbit parts and the presence of big-boobs-exposing no-talent equivalentsof Hollywood’s Jayne Mansfield and Diana Dors!

Stereotypical portrayals

It could be argued that Nollywood finally took the Nigerian woman out of ‘her place’ inthe kitchen, but in return it put her in the bedroom for too long!Given that Nollywood, from the beginning, was trade-driven not creativeor talent-driven, is it coincidental that its first huge success wasDomitilla? It was a story of Nigerian prostitutes in Italy desperateand depraved to the level of having sex with dogs! A true story and rawslice of life, we are told. A major creative handicap of Nollywood isthat themes that are basically documentary-film material are stretchedout to become movies.

Nollywood has generally not been kind to Nigerian women. In its quest to create reelchicks, young, hip/modern and city-wise as against real women,Nollywood has sold the impression that glamour, fame, money and thegood fast life are all that matter for Nigerian women. So, they havebeen stereotyped in Nollywood as pretty, seductive, devious, cunning,quarrelsome, money-grabbing gold diggers who will readily use theirbodies, juju/charms and love potions to “catch men!” Subliminallyportrayed as ‘pretty toys’ they are also obliquely cast as hard nailedfight-to-finish/death ‘demons’ in a never-ending and escalating battleof the sexes in Nigeria.

Not all Jagua Nanas

We have culturally unacceptable scenes where women slap men and overdoses of men batteringwomen in horrific scenes of domestic violence. Then there are thegun-totting bad girls to boot. Two decades after Domitilla, we areoffered a film in which women fight each other with spiritual,witchcraft and physical weapons in their struggle to “catch” white menin Nigeria. Definitely, Nigerian women are not all Jagua Nanas andOpios as Nollywood would want us to believe.

In a country that has female chief justices, deputy governors, ministers, professors,Pilots and bank chief executives, where are these women featured inNollywood as nation and home builders? Where are the model roles formothers, sisters and loving peace-makers? For every waywardundergraduate soft-prostitute there should be a female Deputy ViceChancellor putting right the savage male cults on campuses.

We acknowledge that Nollywood has produced a number of Nigerian superstar actresses who arerich, internationally famous, brand ambassadors and shinning rolemodels to millions of Nigerian girls and women. Nollywood has alsogiven employment and careers to many thousands of Nigerian women.Nonetheless, a lot more needs to be done content-wise and in theprofiling of Nigerian women.

Generation Next

The time has come for another generation of young Nigerian women to come forward and givea better gender balance and meaning to Nollywood. Three years ago Itaught a practical documentary filmmaking course at the National FilmInstitute, Jos, for diploma and degree students. I was amazed at thepotential of these students I later dubbed the ‘Generation Next ofNigerian Filmmakers.’ Amongst them were skilled and confident femalescriptwriters, producers, directors, camera(wo)men, sound(wo)men andeditors who, given more opportunities and needed encouragement, willmatch their counterparts anywhere in the world, including Hollywood.Let us not forget that the great film ‘Mississippi Masala’ was made bya ‘Third World’ woman!

We must be wary of the new clique of Nigerian women and their white counterpart so-called‘experts’ now on a questionable missionary crusade to ‘help’ theNigerian film industry. Hollywood and its European counterparts havestill to come up with genuine visual proof that they respect and canhonour black women and men in their films and TV. We should embrace ourNigerian sisters from Jos; who are well-trained and intentioned to makeNollywood do the right thing on gender issues and cinematic role modelsfor Nigerian women!

The first ever African Women in Film Forum holds at the Colonades Hotel, Ikoyi, Lagos on June 16 and 17, 2010.

related articles

More News

multimedia

videos"">More VideosMore PhotosMore Audio

video |photos |audio

VIDEO: Danny Glover interview

VIDEO: Forest Whitaker

VIDEO: The Killz identity