What do you do as a woman if your husband is a serial cheat and there are children involved? The question was put to me but I was stumped and I didnt have an answer.
1.Do you immediately divorce him?
2.Do you get your own back and start having affairs of your own?
3.Do you become a nervous, miserable wreck?
4.Do you pretend that it isn't happening & face the children instead?
or any other other solution?
As far as I'm concerned, aside from the death of a loved one, there is no greater trauma than to find out your 'significant other' has been seeing someone else.
In light of the aforementioned, and in particular due to the current media frenzy detailing the astonishing, alleged/supposed 'double life' debacle of Tiger Woods -I am re-printing here (with some tweaking) one of my most popular articles while, simultaneously, one by one his so-called mistresses seem to keep coming out of the proverbial woodwork to spill the beans on their liaisons. The victims in this tragedy are the children, and his wife, who never asked to be thrust into the national spotlight and dissected under a microscope and humiliated. Here, then, is one of my most-read and most-requested articles on the subject of 'serial cheaters'.
My personal opinion of married men who cheat is -- to kick them to the curb - the sooner the better. Of course, you have other options if you feel that you cannot live without the lying cheat.
These men have issues - deep-seated issues. These issues are not going to go away in a month or two. Sure, they got caught and now they are on their best behavior. But, how long will it last? until you start feeling comfortable - and look the other way -- then, one day - whammo...you're back to where you started from. The phone rings - the person on the other end just listens to you while you say 'hello'. No response. You finally hang up....wondering. Then, you quickly dismiss it. To ponder it too long might bring back unpleasant feelings and memories.
I was involved with two of these 'serial' cheaters in my life. I don't miss the pain of being in those negative, destructive relationships one iota. Yes, they made me wiser - they also made me older - in the respect that I wasted many years of my life on each one, thinking, or hoping, one day they would change. I realize in hindsight they were both deficient in a main ingredient needed as a building block in a relationship -- values. They were deficient in character, good character. They did not have the value system that I did. In my book, lying, cheating, manipulation and deception are not qualities you want to see in your 'significant other'.
No one wants to date someone who is a serial cheater. How do you know if someone is willing to cheat on you though? A number of different signs may indicate that someone has cheated many, many times in the past. Here are some of the common characteristics of serial cheaters.
HOW DO YOU KNOW HE WILL CHEAT ON YOU
Cheating in Past Relationships
If someone has cheated in a previous relationship, this may be a sign that they are a serial cheater. While there are some people who cheat once and never cheat again, the saying “once a cheater, always a cheater” is generally true in most cases. When you know that the person you are dating has cheated once or more, then you should know to be cautious when entering a relationship with them. Even if the person has not admitted to cheating, it is likely that you will still hear rumors about them that may or may not be true.
Lots of Short Relationships
Some serial cheaters remain in one long relationship with someone who they frequently cheat on. This is not always the case, however. Many serial cheaters have a lot of very short relationships. The best way to find out is to ask the person how many relationships they have been in. Also keep in mind that you will want to ask what the length of their longest relationship was. If the relationship was only a few months long, this may indicate that they do not have success in this department and it very well could be because they are a serial cheater.
Words and Actions
It is often easy to spot a serial cheater based on their words and actions. Anyone who makes themselves seem like the perfect person to get into a relationship with may be trying too hard. When someone is a really great person, they will not give you more complements than necessary or talk about a perfect future with you. If the person that you are seeing is insisting that you become sexually involved after one or two dates, this is also something that may indicate that they have been around the block more times than you can count.
Friends and Family
When you begin seeing someone, it is very common to not meet any of their friends or family members right away. Once the relationship is made official, it is very unusual to not be introduced to anyone that the guy or girl you are seeing knows. If you almost feel as though you are being kept hidden, it could be because you really are. Be sure to bring it up and if the person becomes defensive, it could be a sign that the person is really a serial cheater.
These are just a few of the signs that may indicate that someone is a serial cheater. The most important thing to keep in mind is that if someone has been willing to cheat in the past, they are also willing to cheat on you. Even though you may feel like you’re special or different, the truth is that you probably aren’t. Spotting a serial cheater early on will help prevent you from being the next brokenhearted victim.
Hope to hear from you!
Pet shop owner fined £1,000 and told to wear an electronic tag... for selling a GOLDFISH to a boy aged 14
Her offence was to unwittingly sell a goldfish to a 14-year-old boy taking part in a trading standards 'sting'.
At most, pet shop owner Joan Higgins, 66, expected a slap on the wrist for breaking new animal welfare laws which ban the sale of pets to under-16s.
Instead, the great-grandmother was taken to court, fined £1,000, placed under curfew - and ordered to wear an electronic tag for two months.
The punishment is normally handed out to violent thugs and repeat offenders.
The prosecution of Mrs Higgins and her son Mark is estimated to have cost taxpayers £20,000 and has left her with a criminal record.
Mark, 47, was also fined and ordered to carry out 120 hours of unpaid work in the community.
Last night, as an MP criticised the magistrates, Mrs Higgins - who has run the pet shop for 28 years - said the family's eight-month
ordeal had left them traumatised.
She added: 'It's ridiculous. I mean, what danger am I that I have to wear an electronic tag? These last few months have been a very stressful time.'
The seven-week curfew imposed by the court means she is unable to babysit her great-grandson at his home or go to bingo sessions with her sister, and will be unable to attend a Rod Stewart concert after tickets were bought for her by her nephew, actor Will Mellor.
Her son said: 'I think it's a farce. What gets me so cross is that they put my Mum on a tag - she's nearly 70, for goodness' sake.
'She's a great-grandma so she won't be able to babysit a newborn baby. You would think they have better things to do with their time and money.'
Mr Higgins claimed the undercover operation was a clear case
of entrapment - when a person is encouraged by someone in some official
capacity to commit a crime - and said the case should never have gone
He said: 'The council sent the 14-year-old in to us. It is hard to tell how old a lad is these days. He looked much older than 14.'
He added that his mother almost fainted in the dock when magistrates told her she could go to prison for the offence.
'I told her they wouldn't send her to prison but she was still worried,' he said. 'The only other time she has been in court is when she did jury service.'
Under the Animal Welfare Act 2006 it is illegal to sell pets - including goldfish - to children under the age of 16 unless they are accompanied by an adult. Pet shops must also provide advice on animal welfare to buyers.
The maximum penalty is imprisonment for up to 12 months, or a fine of up to £20,000, or both.
The Higgins family's ordeal began when council officials heard that Majors Pet Shop in Sale, Greater Manchester, was selling animals to children.
They sent the 14-year-old schoolboy into the shop to carry out a test purchase and Mr Higgins sold him the goldfish without questioning his age or providing any information about the care of the fish.
A council officer in the shop at the time also noticed a cockatiel in a cage that appeared to be in a poor state of .health. A vet found the bird had a broken leg and eye problems. It was later put down.
Mrs Higgins and her son were charged with selling the fish to a person aged under 16 and with causing unnecessary suffering to a cockatiel by failing to provide appropriate care and treatment.
Pleading guilty, Mrs Higgins told Trafford magistrates the cockatiel had not been for sale and she had been bathing its eye daily.
She had intended to take it to the vet but had been distracted and worried because her other son was in hospital.
The court heard that Mrs Higgins had possessed a licence to sell animals for many years and had never had any problems before.
She was fined £1,000 and given a community order with a curfew requiring her to stay home between 6pm and 7am for seven weeks.
Mrs Higgins did not have her licence to sell animals removed, but both she and her son were told that if they ever appeared in court for a similar offence they could face a jail sentence.
David Davies, Tory MP for Monmouth, said: 'You simply couldn't make it up. It is absolutely ludicrous that old ladies should be hounded through the courts and electronically tagged for something like this.
'At a time when courts are being told not to lock up career burglars we have them issuing severe punishments like this on little old ladies.' Mr Davies, who has served as a special constable for three years, said: 'Not only is it traumatic for her but it is a complete waste of time and taxpayers' money. It is ridiculous.
'Instead of getting 14-year-old boys to act in this type of sting they should have them trying to nail people who sell drugs outside our schools.'
Trafford Council said it launched an investigation after an unsubstantiated complaint that the shop had sold a gerbil to a 14-year-old girl with learning disabilities. The council claimed the animal later died after the child placed it in a disposable coffee cup with a plastic lid on top.
But the complaint did not form part of the legal action in court and its truth cannot be verified.
Mrs Higgins said the shop had not stocked gerbils for months before the complaint anyway.
Defending the goldfish case, Iain Veitch, head of public protection at Trafford Council, said: 'The evidence presented for this conviction clearly demonstrates that it is irresponsible to sell animals to those who are not old enough to look after them.
'Let this conviction send out a message that we will not tolerate those who cause unnecessary suffering to animals. The council will always try to support pet and business owners so that they are able to care for their animals properly, but where they continually ignore the advice they are given, we will not hesitate to use our statutory powers.'
The goldfish was later adopted by an animal welfare officer and is in good health.
LOS ANGELES, California (CNN) -- Pop singer Ricky Martin declared publicly this week what he avoided discussing for years: He isgay.
"I am proud to say that I am a fortunate homosexual man," Martin wrote on his official Web site. "I am very blessed to be who Iam."
A decade ago, when ABC's Barbara Walters pressed Martin to address rumors about his sexuality, he declined to confirm or deny them."I just don't feel like it," Martin said.
Now, Martin wrote, "these years in silence and reflection made me stronger and reminded methat acceptance has to come from within and that this kind of truthgives me the power to conquer emotions I didn't even know existed."
The 39-year-old Puerto Rican native started off with the Latin boy bandMenudo before launching his solo career in 1991.
His song "Livin' La Vida Loca" rose to the top of the music charts in 1999 and propelledMartin to stardom.
Martin said he decided years ago to not share "my entire truth" with the world because people he loved warned himthat "everything you've built will collapse."
"Allowing myself to be seduced by fear and insecurity became a self-fulfilling prophecy ofsabotage," he wrote. "Today I take full responsibility for my decisionsand my actions."
The decision to come out was initiated a few months ago, when he began writing hismemoirs, he said. "I got very close to my truth," he wrote.
"From the moment I wrote the first phrase I was sure the book was the toolthat was going to help me free myself from things I was carrying withinme for a long time," he wrote. "Things that were too heavy for me tokeep inside."
Martin said that disclosing his secret is important because of his two sons,born via surrogate.
"To keep living as I did up until today would be to indirectly diminish the glow that my kids were born with," hewrote.
"Enough is enough. This has to change. This was not supposed to happen five or 10 years ago, it is supposed to happen now.Today is my day, this is my time, and this is my moment.".
Writing the seven paragraphs, he said, "is a solid step towards my inner peaceand vital part of my evolution."
"What will happen from now on? It doesn't matter. I can only focus on what'shappening to me in this moment."
A Hindu holy man in India has denied any wrongdoing, days after video emerged apparently showing him engaging in sexual acts
with two women.
A spokesman for Nithyananda Swami said he was at the Kumbh Mela festival and would soon "clear the air".
In a video released on Sunday, the guru said he had done nothing illegal and
the scandal was "a false campaign".
His ashram near the southern city of Bangalore was vandalised last week after TV channels broadcast
In a message on his official website on Sunday, the guru asked his followers
to remain calm and patient.
"I assure all of you that nothing illegal has been done by me or my organisation. We are in the process of
collecting evidence to establish this lie and the motive behind this
false campaign," he said.
Swamiji, as he is known to his followers, said he would soon provide an explanation and answer all
"There is total transparency at the ashram and all allegations of illegal activity are baseless and motivated," ashram
spokesman Satichandananda told a press conference on Monday.
Meanwhile, cases have been filed against the holy man in the southern city of
Madras (Chennai) for "outraging the people's religious sentiments".
The guru's followers allege the video was created and distributed by a
jealous inmate of the ashram in a bid to defame him.
Last week the ashram called the footage "a mix of conspiracy, graphics and
Nithyananda Swami has a huge following in southern India and the video shocked his devotees and angered locals.
The Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC), is currently interrogating a notorious fraudster, Olabamiji Michael, who was alleged of defrauding over a 100 persons of about N30m in the guise of providing befitting accommodation for them in Lagos.The con- man, whose targets are mostly accommodation seekers, has been parading himself as a housing agent in Lagos. He had succeeded in tricking his victims into parting with large sums of money for procuring accommodation in an uncompleted one -storey building, located at No. 2, Amuda Street, in Kirikiri Town.
It was gathered that, the said building which was formerly a bungalow was later developed into a storey building. It has two sets of two bed room flats in it which was rented for N700,000 each, a four set of two rooms, self -contained went for N400,000 each and that of one room apartment were rented for N200,000 each.
The victims, including those that have already been served with quit notices by their respective landlords, unguardedly fell into the trap of the fraudster and ended up paying for flats still under construction. Unfortunately, most of them were greatly disappointed when, on completion of the buildings, they found out that they could not have access to their flats. Worse still, they were shocked to see many others claiming to have paid for the same flats to the same person. The scenario painted by the struggle for rightful possession by the victims is better imagined than witnessed.
On the penultimate day, the man who received their money suddenly showed up. He reportedly came to collect the balance of the remaining money from his unsuspecting victims when he suddenly saw the large number of his victims.
While the fraudster quickly took to his heels, his victims kept themselves busy by struggling for rightful ownership of the flats. The struggle soon degenerated into chaos. It heightened as those who have relatives around called for help while those who do not, were left with no option than to hurriedly contract thugs to help them do their biding.
The suspect: Olabamiji Michael
It took the timely intervention of policemen from the Kirikiri Division, who raced to the scene, to prevent what would have turned into bloodshed. The Divisional Police Officer advised that they should get themselves together and lodge a formal report at the police station..
Some of the victims who spoke to Crime Alert said they were not aware that the contentious building was rented out to many people and they regretted ever getting themselves into such ugly situation.
Sunday Joseph, a trader who lost over N400,000 to the fraudster narrated how he was lured into parting with his money. According to him, he contacted Michael after he read through an advert that was published along the road. “I called the numbers on the advert and he directed me to Amuda Street Kirikiri Town. There, I saw the building. It was still under construction.
He showed me round and I opted to take one of the flats. I asked for the price which he said was N 700,000 excluding agent and agreement fee, which he said I would pay N 50,000 each. I argued that it wasn’t an agent that showed the house to me, but he insisted that I must pay because the building belongs to his family and the only waay he could make his own money was by doing the agent’s job. After a long negotiation, we agreed and I paid N 400,000 and promised to balance him when I move into the house.
I kept on checking on him to see how things were going. All those times, I did not see other people call on my apartment, but on the day he asked me to bring his balance and take the keys to my apartment, I discovered that over 20 persons had paid for my apartment and at that instance, they were all struggling to get in. Doors were pulled out and replaced with another, padlocks were shattered and replaced with another, it was a complete chaos. At that time, I became confused and decided to call the attention of the man that gave me the flat but his lines were all switched off.
The crowd was much and people were running helter-skelter. Some were even trying to force their properties into the apartment. It eventually turned out to be a survival of the fittest. But some even went ahead in contacting their relatives to help them occupy an apartment; some others took the opportunity to occupying apartments hey did not pay for.
All of a sudden, the police arrived the scene and took control of the chaotic situation. They took us all to the police station and some of us made statements and surrendered the receipt of payment to the police. They next day, they tried to trace the man that received money from all of us called Ola through the address on the receipt.
But the address was not even in existence. We all got confused and the police were also handicapped because nobody knew where to trace him But I think the police actually alerted the command headquarters and also the Zone 2 headquarters in Onikan. Surprisingly, we got a call from the police that he has been arrested in Victoria Island in Lagos, after he was sighted by a victim whom he had duped of N5 million in a previous deal.
We quickly alerted the EFCC, because we learnt that some persons have been trying to get Ola out of Zone 2. The operatives at the EFCC responded immediately and Ola was transferred”.
Spokesman of EFCC, Femi Babafemi who confirmed the story, said the Commission is doing all within it’s powers to ensure that Olabajimi, as he is fondly called, did not escape justice.
HOW do you feel about your recent award at the MTV Africa Music awards?
I just thank God. I am happy about it and it means more challenge for meto keep up the standard and keep working.
You have been performing in a lot of shows lately, where do youget all the energy from?
Within Nigeria it’s all the fufu I eat you know….emm outside Nigeria naburger (Just kidding o!) I think when your job is what you love to do;it makes it easier for you. So I guess it’s because I love to perform onstage and I love music.
Your latest album, Unstoppable doesn’t seem to be doing as well as your previous albums, what do you think is responsible for this?
I can’t really say because the kind of deal I had on this album had todo with the marketers being responsible for the sales so na dem knowwhether e sell or e no sell. I can’t really say its moving in terms ofselling in the market but maybe the buzz is not like that of theprevious albums.
Why is that?
I can’t really place a finger on what the problem is..
Do you think it has anything to do with you losing your touch?
I don’t think it’s the song, I think it is….. Wow! What do I think it isnow sef? (Pauses)
I think it is the promotional strategy that didn’t work well for thealbum.
You spent a lot of money establishing Hypertech, what happened to the label?
Nothing actually, it is just that right now I am trying to reorganizeand rearrange so that whatever Hypertech is going to be involved in nexttime will come out well. You know it was my first time setting up alabel and there are a whole lot of lessons I learnt. And I believe thatis the way of life, we learn in order to grow.
Can you outline some of the wrong steps you made as regards Hypertech?
I am not going to answer all that. It is a baby company and like I said,the promotion did not flourish as expected.
Why did you go back to Now music?
I think they are capable to do the job because I have worked with thembefore and I think they will be able to carry me to where I am going interms of management.
There were speculations that R. Kelly denied featuring on your song entitled Flex, what do you have to say about that?
Let me just put it this way; R-Kelly has not sued me, so let anybody notsay anything. That is the only thing I have to say because it is now asif I have to start defending. Let whoever said R-Kelly said that showme a tape or something.
But you did feature R-Kelly, didn’t you?
Yeah. There was a collabo and whoever is trying to say there wasn’t justwant to rubbish my name. They are tired of talking about the baby mamaissue and they want to use something else to tarnish my image. It isjust the work of some people who are trying to spoil my name.
Now that a lot of people believe the rumour, don’t you think you should have R. Kelly officially make a statement about it?
Well, don’t worry, I am working on it. I am going to do something aboutthat soon. I will just say father, forgive them for they don’t know whatthey are talking about.
What are you working on at the moment?
Right now, I am packaging a Disc Jockey master mix. I am trying to pick aDJ that can use my music and do the best mix. That is what I am doingright now and it will be ready next month. And I am still celebrating myten years on the scene and there are a couple of events lined up forthat. I did one in Abuja and I am doing one in Bayelsa next month aswell. There is a whole lot I am coming up with but I can’t really talkabout them now because they are still in the pipeline. When e don done, Igo let una know.
I am working on another album right now and I am preparing for the UK release of Unstoppable.
Do you think the album will do better there than it is doing here?
It is doing better there. Many Nigerians told me that the songs are notNigerian enough. And I don’t know what that means. They say they are notcommercial; they said why I didn’t do something like what the boys aredoing right now. So I am like, the thing wey the boys dey do now, who doam before the boys dey do am? Some people just want you to remain aNigerian artiste; they don’t want you to cut across to the other partsof the world. I have heard it a lot that the album is not Nigerianenough and maybe that is why they are not playing it.
Examining your other albums and this particular one, did you do the same things you did?
I will say almost the same thing. Not really the same but its still me. Iwill say the only difference is one or two styles of music I introducedon the album because I did some afro beats and I didn’t do so manysinging songs.
What do you think about the Nigerian music industry?
The industry is still in a little bit of chaos in terms of copyrightlaws, in terms of combating piracy and artistes getting their properdues. I think it is still a little bit unstable but in terms of growth,creativity and awareness, in Nigeria, the music industry is growingfast. It is like that everywhere in the world; you have the verytalented artistes, you have the business minded artistes that don’tnecessarily need to be talented and you have those that don’t have boththe business and the talent.
They don’t have any business in the show. And then in terms of audience,you have people who respect good music in Nigeria and we have those whojust want to party without listening to lyrics and then we have thosethat don’t have respect for Nigerian artistes, they only respect foreignartistes. Nigerians easily put people aside. We have a lot of great oldschool artistes who no one talks about anymore.
People just come up today to say they are this and that whereas there are people who have been there from the outset and they really did alot of work in the industry and nobody talks about them today. I havenever seen any radio DJ come on air and play old school songs alongsidewhat we have now. But the way it is, when new artistes come up, theyjust sideline the older ones. When 2face Idibia came on board, everybodyforgot about older artistes such as Onyeka Onwenu and Sunny Ade. Ithink that thing is one thing that is really bad in terms of respect forartistes. The way dem dey forget old school artiste dey very unfair. Nomatta wetin the person do, Na only the person mate dey celebrate amsome time. In all, the music industry is growing pretty fast right now.
Recently at the Arthur Guinness Concert, P-Square created a scene inyour defence, what is your take on the matter?
We actually came back and some people tried to disrespect us. Theyalways disrespect Nigerian artistes when it comes to stuff like that. Itis not necessarily Guinness; it’s the people they employed. You knowthey employ some agencies to handle stuff sometimes and these peoplejust disrespect Nigerian artistes.
And the Guinness staff actually came to apologize to us. That was whymyself and P-Square came back on stage to perform. I will advice bigcompanies to tell those who run the agencies they hire to stopdisrespecting Nigerian artistes. I left the Guinness show but themembers of staff who understood what went wrong, came after me andpleaded for me to come back.
Why do you think these agencies disrespect Nigerian artistes?
It is because they tend to look at us on their own level and see foreignartistes in a higher level than we are. It’s just like when you say aprophet is not respected in his home. They want to impress foreignartistes when they come to Nigeria. They want to kiss their butts orsomething in that line. When they have shows like that, Nigerianartistes also make demands but everything they would prepare would bejust for the foreign artistes. For instance, I made demands for my ownbackstage arrangement and on that day, I come to the venue of the showand they have a general backstage for all the Nigerian artistes and theyhave one particular area for the foreign artistes. And then sometimes,even the area that is created for the Nigerian artistes, when theforeign artiste come, they deny Nigerian artiste access to the place.Although sometimes, some artistes do not make these demands when we getto the venue of the show, they complain that they are being maltreatedmeanwhile in their rider they did not make these demands. Even those ofus who make these demands are not even satisfied and there areconfrontations and one just decides to refrain from displaying andmaking trouble.
Who was 2face as a fourteen year old teenager?
I was very shy but very playful, very friendly but extremely shy.
Are you still shy?
Yes I am but I can’t afford to be shy anymore because of the line ofbusiness I am in.
So how are you taking in all your fame?
Well I just look at it like I am still me. The fact that people know medoesn’t change anything.
Do you think you would have made it this big if you were still a member of Plantation Boys?
It is only God and time that can answer that. Maybe I would have grownbigger than this, maybe not. I can’t really say.
Are you guys planning a come back?
Right now, no! But we are thinking about
Are you planning to tie the knots anytime soon?
Hmm…I am already married o!
Really when did you do that and why did you hide it?
I no want make una know o!
Who did you marry?
Una no go let the person rest so….
Is it Annie Macaulay?
Don’t worry, you go know when we don tire to keep am secret. (Laughs)
So you are no more in the market?
No I am not o!
For the records, how many kids do you have?
Dem plenty o. I am still counting sef.
Don’t you think your having kids here and there will affect your career negatively?
One thing is that we are in Africa; it depends on which angle you arelooking at it from. Polygamy is a normal thing in Africa. I am nottrying to say anyone should do like I did; it’s a matter of how you wantto live your own life. What I did was the noblest thing I could havedone in that situation. I don’t care about what anybody thinks about me.I just know that I didn’t kill anyone and I did not commit any crimeand I did the right thing given the situation. So, however anybody looksat it is a matter of opinion. If they want to crucify me for it, noproblem, I go take care of my pikin them.
Little did the duo of Erhauyi Ogbeide a.k.a Ukeke and Eghosa Idehen, arguably the two most talented actors in Edo State movie industry knowthat on Wednesday, March 10, 2010, they would fall to the bullets ofassassins. Prophet Ukeke, in company of his colleague, was reported tohave gone to see his in-laws, when he was murdered by unidentifiedgunmen in the presence of his in-laws. Our Edo State correspondent,PATRICK OCHOGA, writes on how it all happened..
The entertainment industry in Edo State and Nigeria in general on Wednesday, March 10, 2010 woke up to the heart wrecking news of thegruesome murder of Edo’s two most talented movie practitioners, an actthat has cast a dark cloud on the future of movie industry.
The circumstances which the duo were reported to have been killed appeared like a movie script that was played out on that day. Ace actorcum comedian, Erhauyi Ogbeide a.k.a. ‘Ukeke’, according toinvestigation was said to have received an invitation to come to hisfather in-law’s residence, where it was learnt that he had gone to seekintervention in his matrimonial dispute.
LEADERSHIP however learnt that no sooner had ‘Ukeke’ in company of his colleague, Eghosa Idehen settled for the discussion to commence,than armed men obviously on their trail force themselves into thecompound and opened fire on ‘Ukeke’ while his colleague who had takenrefuge in a toilet in the compound was equally gunned down not even hisplea to spare his life could assuage the killers.
As the shockwaves of the dastardly act continue to grip the ancient city, over twenty other persons in a cult related war were reportedlygunned down at different locations in the city in a renewedconfraternity war between groups identified as Black Axe and Maphiteconfraternities.
The assassination of the two movie producers coupled with the renewed cult war have further opened up another possibility that theassassination could be linked to a reprisal attack. Be that as it were,the immediate reasons why the middle aged artistes were cut down at thepeak of their profession remained a mystery for security agents in thestate.
Erhauryi, popularly known as ” Ukeke” unarguably was one of the biggest exporters in Edo movies. The duo took the Edo movie industry bya storm in 1990 with a movie entitled ‘Prophet Ukeke’ thus confirming‘Ukeke’ as a talented actor whose acts have culminated into the releaseof over thirty other movies in Benin languages. Having carved a nichein the industry both at home and among Edo’s indigenes in Diaspora,Ukeke, a graduate of the University of Benin, was said to have concludedplans to embark on a six European tour with his latest work before hefell to the bullets.
Lovers of Edo movies and stakeholders in the ancient city on hearing the sad news, staged a protest over the killing. The members of moviepractitioners who came out in their thousands dressed in black attires,marched through major streets of the metropolis and finally terminatedat Government House.
The Edo State Governor, who received the news over the killing of the two movie practitioners, expressed deep sorrow. In a condolence letteraddressed to the the Congress of Edo Movie Practitioners, Oshiomholesaid: “I learnt with deep shock about the tragic death of our foremostmovie and entertainment practitioners. I wish to convey to you and allyour colleagues and the people of Edo State as well my personalcommiseration. Their death is a great blow to the entertainmentindustry; they made such fundamental contributions to the growth of themovie industry in Edo State and brought happiness to thousands of fansat home and abroad. We pray God to grant them eternal rest. We also prayGod to comfort their families, friends and colleagues in this difficultperiod,” Oshiomhole mourned.
In a similar vein, the Special Assistant to the governor on Arts and Culture, described the duo as the leading lights of Edo rich artisticand cultural heritage. He said the killing of the artistes has cast adark cloud on the land. “No doubt the artistes community will miss themdearly, so also the entire people of Edo State both home and abroadwhose hearts they daily filled with laughter and humour in their offmoments”.
The effort of the state government to ensure the safety of lives and property of its citizens appeared threatened with the spate of murdercases in the state. Since the renewed cult clash, security in the statehas been beefed up according to the Police Public Relations Officer, ASPPeter Ogboi.
According to him, “I cannot tell you all we have been doing to stop this dastardly act. But all I can tell you is that we are on top of it.We have made some arrest and we are clamping down on the cultists. Weare also looking at those who were arrested but were charged to court inthe past. We are also going to hold meetings with community leaders andother stakeholders because those committing this crime come from onecommunity or the other”.
6 Things Men Do To Get Laid That Science Says Turn Women Off
Complimenting Her Looks
You've got it this time. After a night of chatting up ladies, acting disinterested and dancing like a seizure victim, a gorgeous woman for some reason comes up to talk to you. Amazingly, you're holding it together and all signs are pointing to the two of you bumping uglies at the end of the night. In an effort to seal the deal, you compliment her on how attractive she is.
Moments later, she's scurrying off with the drink you bought her to rejoin her friends and make jokes at the expense of you and your Ed Hardy T-shirt.
What the Hell Happened?!
Shockingly, women really do want you to care about more than their great tits. In a study by one of the leading dating sites on the Web, they found that telling a woman she was attractive actually made her more likely to reject you. Also making her more likely to reject you: that collection of Pokemon cards you refuse to dispose of because "they'll make you rich someday." But we digress.
Words like "sexy," "beautiful" and "hot" made a woman much less likely than average to respond to your initial overtures. Meanwhile attempting to show interest in her by mentioning some of her pastimes, favorite things, etc. resulted in a much higher than average response.
Keep that in mind if you ever get the chance to chat up Megan Fox. Don't tell her she's gorgeous. Talk about all the other things you know she's into like bad acting, terrible tattoos and not wearing a lot of clothes. She'll be yours in no time.
What more can women want from you? You feign interest in attending their Real Housewives of Orange County viewing parties, listen to their drama with their asshole ex-boyfriend, help get them home free of the risk of date rape when they're really drunk--you even stop by with painkillers to help with their hangover the next morning.
There is literally nothing you could do to be nicer to them and yet you're still just a friend, a "great guy," and therefore completely rejected.
What the Hell Happened?!
We really hate to say it but women are scientifically proven to like "bad boys." Apparently there is something called the "dark triad" (dibs on the band name) of personality traits that still exist and even flourish in humans despite the fact that, evolutionarily, they are bad for the continuation of the species.
They include exploitation, thrill-seeking/callous behavior and self-obsession. Since people like this are assholes, science dictates that they should have been bred out of the gene pool a long time ago. Of course, they weren't. And it's because the ladies love bad boys. Scientists found that the higher a man scored on the "dark triad" (seriously, that name is the shit) scale the more sex partners he had had and the more likely he was to be looking for short flings.
Basically, while they won't make great long term partners, for thousands of years women have been engaging in one night stands with "bad boys," getting knocked up and prolonging not only the suffering of man but also the use of Axe Body Spray.
You hear that ladies? The self-centered, destructive jerks of the world are all your fault. Try using some self control once in a while. Or, at the very least, a condom.
Having the Wrong Name
So far, nothing has worked, and that girl you've been putting the moves on up and started dating someone who can only be described as "Jersey Shore-like." Desperate, you attend a singles mixer. One of those things where everyone has to wear a geeky little name tag and guys try to look successful but laid back by wearing both a tie and jeans.
Everyone here is looking for a date. There is no way you can strike out. Yet every woman you approach smiles, then glances at your name tag and suddenly turns away. You haven't even said anything yet! What could you POSSIBLY have done to turn her off this time?!
What the Hell Happened?!
You can blame your parents for this one. Apparently, your first name can drastically influence how successful you are and, yes, even how attractive people consider you. According to a study of 6,000 people, men named Michael, James and David are the clear winners, with all three placing in the top ten for Most Successful, Luckiest, and yes, Most Attractive names. George and Paul on the other hand? Well, just resign yourselves to a life of minimum wage jobs, accidents and loneliness (unless you're a Beatle, apparently).
Your best bet is to go for women named Anne, who suffer from the same horrible affliction as you: uglynameitis.
These scientists are totally serious. One even wrote a book that includes a section helping you change your name as an adult in order to reverse all the misfortune your parents unknowingly saddled you with. So to all the Georges out there, simply start answering to Ryan and the ladies will come flocking.
(CNN) -- Justin Gawel says there's nothing too incriminating on his Facebook page.
"There are a lot of pictures of drinking [but] nothing naked or anything -- at least I don't think so," he said jokingly.
Even so, the Michigan State University junior recently changed his Facebook display name to "Dustin Jawel" to keep his personal life from potential employers while applying for summer internships.
Although Gawel ditched his rhyming alias after two weeks when he realized Facebook users also can be searched by e-mail address, school and network, he is not alone in his efforts to scrub his online résumé. Many students and recent graduates say they are changing their names on Facebook or tightening privacy settings to hide photos and wall posts from potential employers.
And with good reason.
A recent survey commissioned by Microsoft found that 70 percent of recruiters and hiring managers in the United States have rejected an applicant based on information they found online.
What kind of information? "Inappropriate" comments by the candidate; "unsuitable" photos and videos; criticisms of previous employers, co-workers, or clients; and even inappropriate comments by friends and relatives, according to the survey report, titled "Online Reputation in a Connected World."
Such prying into his online life makes Gawel uncomfortable.
"I understand that when [employers look] at someone's Facebook page, they're just trying to paint a bigger picture of the people they're hiring -- so they're not just a name on a résumé," he said. "But that doesn't demonstrate whether they can do the job. It shouldn't matter what someone does when they're not in the office."
Gawel said he's not sure that employers would object to the information on his Facebook page. For him, it's more about personal privacy.
"Too many people take pictures of you. I didn't want to go through and 'untag' all of them," he said. "There's nothing illegal or too ridiculous in the photos ... but people don't take pictures of people studying or doing school work. They take pictures of people at parties and doing silly things."
For better or worse, online screenings may be a permanent part of the 21st-century hiring process. The Microsoft survey found that 79 percent of U.S. hiring managers have used the Internet to better assess applicants.
Dan Eggers of Partners Marketing Group in Marietta, Georgia, is among that 79 percent.
"We review and certainly do research on anyone we're looking at hiring or using as a contract employee," Eggers said. "We would Google their name, look at LinkedIn, Facebook and Twitter."
He said his firm usually only consults an applicant's online reputation to make sure he or she hasn't misrepresented their work experience.
"We try not to pay a lot of attention to wall posts from others. It would take quite a bit for us to be reacting to that," Eggers said.
But racist or homophobic comments will land your résumé and cover letter in the garbage, he said.
"People have a false sense of security about their personal information out there on the Web ... they think only their friends will see it," said Jack Rayman, senior director of career services at Pennsylvania State University.
Elana Borchers, an Indiana University senior, said she exchanged her last name for her middle name on Facebook in November when she started applying for jobs. Borchers even decided to keep her alias after landing a full-time position a month later.
"Not everything is certain," she said. "If my employers saw something on my profile now that they didn't like, they could take my job away."
Not that she's worried about the content on her Facebook page.
"There's nothing bad [on my profile]. I'd rather they learn about me in person," Borchers said.
"Big Ten schools have the reputation of excessive partying. That's something that's here with me in college, I don't plan to take that partying with me in the future and I didn't want someone to see that and judge me."
Borchers said she thought about removing pictures of her partying, but "they're my memories and I want to keep them for now."
Many of Borchers' friends are playing the Facebook name game, too -- dropping their last names or using a nickname to hide from potential employers and grad-school admissions officers.
"A lot of my guy friends changed [their user names] to a nickname that their friends call them, so everyone still knows who it is," she said.
Facebook spokesperson Kathleen Loughlin said she could not comment on the number of users who change their name on Facebook, but students who spoke to CNN said that among their peers, the trend is rampant.
Another Indiana University senior, Jeffrey Lefcort, changed his Facebook user name to Jeffrey David -- his middle name -- when he began applying for jobs, even though he doesn't think his page has anything inappropriate.
"I just didn't want to be found by someone who was looking for me that I'm not friends with," Lefcort said. "My Facebook profile is not intended for employers. I didn't want them looking at my personal life."
Like Gawel, Lefcort eventually ditched his pseudonym and opted instead to tighten his Facebook privacy settings -- something Facebook's Loughlin said is encouraged.
With the Internet playing such a large role in business today, few recruiters don't assess applicants' online reputations in some capacity before hiring, said George Matlock, director of operations at Matlock Advertising and Public Relations in Atlanta, Georgia.
And while Matlock said he almost always Googles a person's name before hiring them, he steers clear of Facebook.
"I haven't looked at [an applicant's] Facebook page," he said. "I try to stay away from it, myself. I think it's too personal ... maybe I'm just scared to see what's out there. Facebook tends to be something pretty private."
Emily Mitnick, a Michigan State University senior who also changed her name on Facebook, said she has nothing to hide but wants to keep a low profile and avoid being searched by potential employers.
Mitnick uses LinkedIn to communicate with the "professional world." She describes Facebook as a place "where I can be social with my friends and I don't have to be professional.
"I don't have any of my [tagged pictures] available to the public -- just for precautionary measures, not because they're inappropriate," she added. "I would just like to remain somewhat private."
Rayman, the Penn State career counselor, said he recommends that students with potentially incriminating photos or posts change their name on social networking sites. But it's not always that easy to escape your online reputation, he said.
"Web sites are almost impossible to eliminate," Rayman said. "They get cached somewhere and they'll keep coming up. It used to be if you had a poor reputation in one school, you'd move to another and your record didn't necessarily follow you. It's getting harder and harder to do that as everyone is on the Internet and everyone knows everyone's business."
NOW THAT WILL AND JADA'S KIDS ARE GETTING OLDER . . . YOU CAN START TO SEE THEIR PERSONALITIES COMING THROUGH!!!.
R&B SINGER CHRIS BROWN PHOTO'D WEARING EXTRA TIGHT PANTS . . . AND DUDE IS PACKIN!! with career in nose dive nigga will try anything to get back on top but he aint gettin on top of Rihanna again the Girlfriend Beater !
Known for crazy headgear it is now crazy no gear ! Exclusive from 9jabook.com internet Safari !
Los Angeles, California (CNN) -- Erykah Badu shed her clothes as she walked along a Dallas, Texas, sidewalk until she was nude andthen fell near where President Kennedy was assassinated.
The result was a controversial video, released Saturday, for her song"Window Seat," which Badu said was "shot guerrilla style" with no crewand in one take March 17.
Children could be seen nearby as Badu stripped in Dealey Plaza, a popular tourist spot since Kennedy's 1963 assassination.
The singer's management did not immediately respond to request for comment,but Badu responded to the controversy via Twitter.
She tweeted that "there were children there. i prayed they wouldnt b traumatized."
The R&B singer said she was making a statement against "groupthink," which she tweeted was an "unwritten rule" that "iwill not express my true opinion if it opposes those i love and fear."
Some fans sent tweets praising Badu's artistic vision.
One fan tweeted to Badu on Sunday: "thank you, because yourbeing brave, i no longer feel afraid to say what i really feel."
The video opens with a November 22, 1963, radio broadcast describingKennedy's motorcade turning onto Elm Street seconds before fatal shotswere fired.
In the video, Badu is behind the wheel of a 1965 Lincoln Continental, parked along Kennedy's route. A single camerafocuses on her as she walks toward Elm Street and the book depositorywhere Kennedy's assassin fired his rifle.
Badu tweeted that "i was petrified while shooting this video ... but liberation began to setin. i conquered many fears in that few moments."
She said she was "too busy lookin for cops" to be embarrassed by her nudity. "i beennaked all along in my words actions and deeds. thats the real vulnerableplace," she tweeted.
The video does not include shouts from people off camera, she said. "they were yelling, 'THIS IS A PUBLIC PLACE: YOU OUGHTA BE ASHAMED : PUT YOUR CLOTHES ON : DAMN GIRL! etc," Badutweeted.
More than a dozen people stood along the plaza's "grassy knoll" when Badu took off the last piece of clothing.
"the people caught in the shot were trying hard to ignore me," she tweeted.
As she reached the spot where Kennedy was first struck by a bullet, the crackle of a gunshot is heard and Badu's head snaps back and shefalls to the ground as if dead.
Badu said when the camera stopped "we ran."
The singer was born in Dallas, where she is raising her three children -- ages 1, 5 and 12
She tweeted to fans about her 5-year-old daughter's response when told of her plans for the video:"she looked at me with a blank face and replied ok mama can i haveanother pudding?"
The video was released days before the singer's next album, "New Amerykah Part Two: Return of theAnkh," hits record stores. The single "Window Seat" is at No. 28 onBillboard's R&B/hip-hop chart.
This musical act, information emanatingfrom the UK reveals that, his last trip to London was not favourabledue to his double shuffle’s act he displayed to his alleged gay partnerwho paid for his air fare. Toba, amongst other artistes, we werereliable informed, is known to be a pervert. Several times he has beenlinked to man-to-man affair with top politicians and entertainers, andhe was said not to have denied or confirmed any of such insinuations bythe public.
The straw that broke the camel hunchback in his lasttrip to London is that, when he got to London, he was said to bestaying with his ‘partner’ in the illicit act and for weeks, the two aresaid to be together doing all sorts of immoral acts. After a while,Toba, rumour has it, started sleeping with other friends (males) of hisbenefactor and partner even to the knowledge of the guy.
The guysees that as a slap on him and he was said to have plotted a coup thateventually took Toba Gold back to the country. As you’re reading this,Toba is said to have lost virtually everything in the process of tryingto leave London in a hurry. Toba Gold also release a song titled ‘OmogeWa Femi’ about two years now. One of his musical video was shot by thediminutive Jordan Johnson.
Eversince her incursion into the esoteric movie world, Olabisi, an Ilesha,Osun State born actress cum producer has become one of the beautifulfaces that adorned the four walls of the entertainment industry.
WhileBisi is stepping up in her career as an actress, controversies,however, are not leaving her tail. Aside the numerous men she hasalleged of sleeping with, recent scoop reveals that Bisi, sometime ago,was alleged of stealing a gold jewelry that belongs to a friend.
As the story goes, Bisi was said to have visited a friend at home andshortly after she left, a 24k gold jewelry was said to have developedwings and flew away. When they searched everywhere and they couldn’tfind it, someone was said to have being on her trail and the saidmissing jewelry was found in her custody weeks after it was declaredmissing.
Could this really be true? This event, though, welearnt, happened a while ago, the people who witnessed the disgracefulact, we learnt, still haven’t forgiving Bisi for her major role in themissing jewelry..
Carol is a Christian but grew up in Jos. Her mother is from Kogi State. Carol is a seamstress and contractor on the side. Tall and fair in complexion, she has a prominent scar on her arm from an auto accident. We gathered that the ‘Banking Cowboy’, as the boss of one of the best financial institutions in Africais being referred, offered Carol some millions of Naira to get rid of the foetus when the news of the pregnancy was regaled to him by her. When Carol seemed to be stubborn about considering abortion, inside source informed yours truly that, he offered another N1.5m with all expenses paid-trip to Germany for the abortion procedure, an offer Carol was said to have deliberately refused.
Thereafter, Tony, we learnt, cut her off and they don’t communicate but see each other at functions and look the other way. Carol lives at Lekki where she’s coping with single motherhood syndrome with her baby. Although, life, according to findings, is not too posh for them, however, she’s able to send the split-image of the banking guru, Tony Elumelu, Helen to one of the best schools on the Island with the little profit she makes from her this and that businesses.
Though, Carol herself has her own dark sides as she was said to have romanced one of Tony’s cousin shortly after she got delivered of the baby. We shall bring to you other secrets of the big boy Tony, how he was said to have sent some thugs to eliminate them and the other deeds that ensured between Carol and the out-going CEO/MD of UBA next week. Keep a date with your soar-away magazine website, nfc.
There many Nigerian professionals abroad, who have ideas, gained from our profession and from the experience garnered over years, in our country of sojourn, on how to fix one or more wrongs in Nigeria’s infrastructural decay and socio-political malady, given the chance. But because of the implanted, institutionalized and systemic corruption in Nigeria, those recycling themselves, either in Khaki or flowing gowns have prevented this from happening.
It is this blocked opportunities, which the present political arrangement, not only encouraged but incubates every time there is a change of power that the call for 'SEPARATION FOR COOPERATION' will address.
By the way, I am not advocating that Nigeria should break up. On the contrary, I hold on to the belief of 'one' Nigeria with a special kind of arrangement, which we might call United State of Nigeria.
I have lots of friends who are both Moslems and Christians from the north and in my father's house, we have practitioners of both religions. As a matter of facts, I lived with an uncle in Lagos, with whom I followed to fast during Ramadan month.
However, I see the country called Nigeria has being retrogressing, in all forms, since independence against the 'developing nation' tag that we are called, the world over.
If the only way we have developed in the last fifty years is the number of living beings we have brought to the world, with no attendance for food and social amenities to match, and we are still to do anything positive about it, then, I make bold to repeat myself, let us BREAK UP INTO MANAGEABLE AND HOMOGENOUS COMPONENTS.
This proposition, I believe will be in the interest of all concerned.
Concerning the issue on how resources are managed and distributed, I will advocate that the states wherever natural resources are found, be allowed to decide on how to explore and market it, leaving behind in the kitty of united Nigeria, an agreed percentage or as advocated in professor Suji's posting.
The so-called oil money has never trickled down to the ordinary man anyway, apart from General Gowon's misguided Udoji award of 1973. The vast majority of money realized from oil have been stolen by a few, who are opportune to have been in government or are allies of those in power, hence a retired general could boast to have made billions from oil well, and we are not told the criteria for its award.
All the component nationalities, be they six or fifteen, should go back to the drawing board, declaring state of emergency in every areas they are once known to be buoyant, but now abandoned, using latest available technologies.
The discovery of oil in Nigeria, to me is a curse for ordinary man but maybe a blessing for few khaki boys and their civilian friends.
If Nigeria will grow, oil money should be invested appropriately, using the accrued interest to develop specific, measurable and time attached infrastructure, spread evenly in all the 36 states, including the federal capital, Abuja..
I believe the different reactions that attended the controversial statement credited to Muammar Gaddafi of Libya, are because of his suggestion for a division of Nigeria based on religion.
David Mark, who called Gaddafi a madman, was not the first to say so. Gaddafi got the nickname from former American President Ronald Reagan, who named him Madman of Africa. David Mark has reason for his reaction apart from being Senate President, he is a Christian, from Benue State (one of the Christian states from the north) whose country, according to Gaddafi will now be a Moslem country.
David Mark happens to have spoken first and reacted because of his position in the country. What do you think Yakubu Gowon would have said if he had the same number of media attention? How about Theo Danjuma, Jerry Gana and a host of others from Benue, Plateau, Kaduna and many more from the north?
Growing up, I was taught, 'in every situation, the first reaction is always the best.' There are many sins of David Mark, to which he will, one day account for before mortal man or in the presence of God but on this occasion, I will spare David.
This is no time to be abusive, Moslems, Christians, Hausa, Fulani, Yoruba, Ibo, Ijaw, Tiv, Kanuri, Efik and others, it is a time to be truthful to ourselves.
The marriage we have endured for 96 years, managed by the colonial master for 46 years, is simply not working. Absolute decree leading to divorce is not an option though, but a separation and breather from each other so that we all earn our respects from each other and grow thereby. We have been going round in cycle for 50 years; it is time for something more profitable.
Amos Akin Adejinmi wrote from London, United Kingdom.
Note: this page contains paid content.
Please, subscribe to get an access.