Story (7)

One of the most memorable works of fiction I read as a pre-teen is a children’s story by Washington 12166327681?profile=originalIrving titled Rip Van Winkle. I still remember my excitement watching the cartoon version of the story on Lagos Weekend Television (LTV) in the 80’s. Seeing one of my favorite tales come to life before my eyes was a joy unparalleled! For those of you who’ve never heard of this classic fiction, I’ll do you the honour of summarizing the tale:


The story is set in the pre- American Revolution War. Its central character is a man, Rip Van Winkle, who lives in a village at the foot of the Kaatskill Mountains along with his kids and nagging wife (Dame Van Winkle). He is well loved by the kids in the village because he often gives toys and entertains them with stories. He enjoys solitude and has a penchant for idleness which often incurs the wrath of his nagging wife. She complains incessantly about his lack of industry and neglect for his farm land which is constantly in disarray.


On one fateful autumn day, Rip escapes into the mountains with his dog, Wolf, to escape a barrage of nagging from his wife. As he wanders along he hears someone calling his name. On proceeding towards the direction of the voice, he comes in contact with a man dressed in old fashioned Dutch clothing. The man asks Rip for help and without hesitation, he assists the stranger in carrying a keg of rum all the way into a hollow-like Amphitheatre in the mountain. There he meets other men similarly dressed like the stranger, playing ninepins and drinking rum boisterously. He soon joins them in their drinking and revelry and before long, falls into a deep sleep.


He awakens and it is morning. He skin is wrinkled, his beard is long, his gun is old and rusted and Wolf is nowhere to be found. He returns to the village to find out that he has been asleep for 20 long years; his wife is now late, the American Revolution has taken place and his close friends have all died in the war. Someone calls out to a man called Rip Van Winkle who turns out to be his son, now a grown man. He is eventually taken in by his daughter who’s also now a full grown adult.

Such was Rip Van Winkle’s fate; missed out on every detail of life for 2 decades. The last he remembered, he was a young man wandering into the mountains. And now he awakens an old man unable to account for the past 20 years of his life.

I can relate to Rip Van Winkles experience because I too feel like I have been in a coma for that long; I can’t really account for the past 20 years of my life. The last I remembered I was an enthusiastic youth looking forward to an exciting future, but I am now in a future far different from what I had anticipated. There are lot of things I ought to have accomplished by now which just didn’t matter to me. Why didn’t they matter until now? Why has my mind been oblivious to the opportunities of the day? What did I do with all that time? How did the grey hairs sneak up on me undetected? Why did I never have a strong desire to get married until now? Why am I living far less than my potential while others who had far less potential at the beginning have gone far ahead? Why was I so comfortable with my self-imposed limitations? What was it that put me to sleep? Why am I suddenly waking up to the harsh reality that the time is short? Why now and not earlier? Just wondering if I am the reincarnated Rip Van Winkle.


This reminds me of Sharru Nada’s account in the all-time classic, The Richest man in Babylon. 40 years ago he arrived at Babylon a slave, and saw some labourers toiling by the gateway leading into the city. 40 years later he returns to Babylon a wealthy free man and notices the same men still toiling by the same spot; they’d had made no progress for 40 years.  God forbid that should be my testimony!


I talked this over with a friend and told him of my painful awakening and he said to me, “anytime a man wakes up, that is morning for him. No need to wallow in regrets. Forge ahead! I have decided from this point on not to allow the latter part of my life become a reflection of my past.


I am going to redeem the time!


(For other inspiring articles on my blog you can visit: http://nigerianphilosopher.wordpress.com/2012/05/11/i-feel-like-rip-van-winkle/ )

 

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IBB "bribes" Journalists

Five months ago, a friend of mine, who edits a national daily, sent me a text message agreeing substantially with my column, ‘The Punch and the rest of us’, except the generalised conclusion that “all (journalists) have sinned and fallen short of the glory of the profession”. There are still some journalists, he submits, who toe the narrow path of integrity. Of course I knew where he was coming from, but I also knew the context in which I had made that statement.

I revisit that statement in light of the stories spewing out of the political beat, specifically on the race for the 2011 presidential elections and how it affects the integrity of news.

As part of the effort to sell his candidature for the presidency, former military president, Ibrahim Badamasi Babangida (IBB) invited as many as 40 journalists to his Minna home on August 14 for an interview. I have heard questions asked about why he should invite journalists to his home instead of a public place if he didn’t have an ulterior motive, and why he should offer monetary gifts to the journalists in the name of paying for their transportation.

One news medium, which has championed this opposition in the open, is the online agency, Sahara Reporters. According to SR each of the journalists received N10 million for heeding Babangida’s call on his presidential ambition. That is N400 million just for one night’s interview from an aspirant yet to win his party’s nomination if it were true. But it was not. When some of the journalists complained about the fictional sum, SR changed the story on August 19, saying it was just “a paltry N250, 000 each”. Rather than admit its initial error SR simply said, “our accountants have told us that going by the number of 40 journalists in attendance, we are still around the same ballpark of N10 million”. So much for credible reporting!

Three days later, SR followed up with ‘IBB and his Rogue Journalists’, accusing the journalists of roguery and professional misconduct; roguery, because they collected money from two sources—their employers who presumably authorised and funded the trip and their news source, IBB; misconduct because it is unethical for them to demand/receive gratification from news sources for their services.

And on August 23 in ‘IBB Nocturnal Press Parley: Punch fires Editorial board Chairman’, SR stayed on top of the story by reporting that Adebolu Arowolo, editorial board chairman of the Punch, had lost his job for going on that trip without his management’s approval..

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ABAKALIKI — EBONYI Secretary to the State Government, SSG, Mr. Fidelis Mbam, has dragged the publisher of Golden Truth Newspaper, a local tabloid based in the state, Mr. James Nwite, to an Abakaliki Magistrate Court for the publisher’s intent to investigate a story which alleged the SSG to be involved in a sex escapade.

Though the publisher was granted bail in the sum of N100,000 with a surety and four passport photographs, he was detained for four days in Abakaliki Police custody.

The SSG’s ordeal is coming on the heels of a similar clamp down on two journalists in Enugu State who have been detained in Enugu Prisons over a similar sex story allegedly involving the Chief Judge of Enugu State, Mr. Innocent Umezulike.

While Ebonyi SSG’s sex story is alleged to be with his housemaid, Enugu Chief Judge was alleged to have had an affair with a young girl in the house of a popular Enugu-based publisher.

Yet unpublished.

All the journalists involved in both cases were at investigative stages of their stories when they were hounded into police custodies with either stringent bail conditions or no bail applications entertained.

According to Abakaliki Magistrate Court charge sheet, the local tabloid publisher, James Nwite, and one other now at large, on or before 9 April 2010 in Abakaliki did conspire with each other to commit felony to wit: Publishing defamatory matter with intent to extort and thereby committed an offence punishable under Section 516A..

When the matter came up for mention at Magistrate Court 4, Nwite pleaded not guilty to the two-count charge and was granted bail.

The presiding Magistrate, Mr. Alobu, later adjourned the matter till 9 June 2010.

Defence counsel speaks

Briefing newsmen immediately after the court session, the counsel to defendant, Mr. Onyeka Nwebonyi, said every Nigerian had the right to go to court to seek redress on any matter, adding that he had not seen any publication by his client on the matter being alleged by the plaintiff.

“I maintain strongly that my client, the defendant, has not committed any offence in the eyes of the law,” he said.
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From Ajegunle to stardom: The Basket Mouth story
By Samuel Olatunji

Sunday, March 21, 2010.

Just last mont, Bright Okpocha (Basket Mouth), stood on stage of prestigious O2 Arena, (same stage where other international stars have used in time past and where Michael Jackson wanted to use before his death) to crack jokes and stage his brand new show Lord of the Ribs.

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Bright Okpocha (Basket Mouth)

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Who would have thought that the small boy born in slum of Ajegunle would one day stand on world stage to entertain black and white?

He shares his untold story in a visit to his Lekki home.

Few years ago after you left Benin and came to Lagos, you were a struggling man, what are you doing right now that you were not doing then?

I think I am still doing the same thing. It’s still the same struggle and hustle but you know that there is always a time that it pays-off. You know those who work expect to get paid at the end of the month, so let’s just say all the struggle I was putting into my career paid-off at the end of the day. Although I am still hustling, but maybe in another two or three months it will pay off again. Nothing has changed, I am still hungry. The same hunger I experienced then is still there, and I do all I can no matter what happens to stay hungry.

So it wasn’t as if you were doing something wrong then?

No. It’s the same thing. It’s just that with time some opportunities came along as a matter of time and choice and these were the things that were not available to me back then. I wasn’t doing things wrong then, it was just a case of timing.

If you think back now, how did you pay your dues?

More or less respect and acknowledgements are the things I actually quantify as paying my dues. You know there are sometimes I walk into a company or an organization and the way they relate with me now tend to be different from the way they related with me years back. These are the things I see that make me conclude that I have paid my dues. That money is coming through more now not because I am funnier, but because of the professionalism I have added to my own style and because of the worth of the brand. We have built the brand to the point we can say that this is the value of Basket Mouth. I have been paid my dues in so many ways.

When I walk on the streets of Lagos and people show me love, that is payment for me, going to the bank and I don’t get to queue is payment for me. When I am boarding a flight and for no particular reason, I am being upgraded from business class to first class is payment for me too. So that’s how I derive my own payment. When I look back, I see it all more or less like a journey. I know where I was, where I am now and where I am going to. It’s more or less like growth for me, so when I look back I value more the love people have shown to me than the financial returns.

For those aspiring to stardom, the struggle is tough. Some of them manage to come out of the struggle while others die in it. So for those of you who made it, some people say it was easy, particularly because you only spent some time with Ali Baba and before you knew it you were up there?

Let me just say a part of my life that many people didn’t know. Before I started as a comedian I used to play the drums for a church. It wasn’t really my church. I was being paid as a contract instrumentalist. I was paid N2, 000 per month then. The church was Christ Pentecostal Mission, in Lagos. That was between 1991and 1996. Although I started playing since 1991, I was still in school then and I didn’t use the skill professionally as a means of making money until 1995 when I finished. While I was doing that I was also into rap music. I was a rapper, and we did a series of competitions including the one held at FHA at FESTAC. I can’t remember the name now , but we came third.

As a rap artiste, I did gigs. I did shows at Ife in 2007. I did shows in Ibadan but most people wouldn’t know. A lot of people that saw me perform that day as a rapper may not even remember. All of these are part of the struggle. The reason why I switched to comedy was that we were doing a show in Benin and while we were on stage the crowd started booing us. Apparently they were impatient. So I told my group members to chill because apparently from the beginning I get bad mouth. So as the crowd was insulting us I held the mic and gave it back to them. I yabbed them back. I was on stage for like 15 to 20 minutes throwing yabbs at the crowd and they were laughing. At the end of the day one guy walked up to me ….

You don’t know the guy’s name?

It wasn’t just him, Bayo Adekeye was there also. Bayo was the first person that told me I should go into comedy. He is now in London; eventually he became my manager. Now as a comedian I used to come to Lagos every weekend from Benin. I will enter that 14-14 bus from AP Filling Station in Benin and I will stand from Benin to probably Ijebu-Ode where some people will now come down and that’s when I will sit. Most people don’t know this. But the reason I was doing the trips was because I was coming to Lagos to do gigs on weekends.

Eventually, I met 2face at a show I did in Benin as a rapper. I was the one that promoted the show and he came in to perform. Eventually I did comedy at the show because I had started doing comedy then. 2face saw me and told me he liked my work and that anytime I come to Lagos we should hook up, that there is this show they are doing every last Saturday of the month. Then Lagbaja was featuring on a show every last Friday of the month. Also I met Ali Baba. So apart from the fact that I was coming to Lagos every last weekend of the month, I was coming in every weekend with or without money. By 3am every Saturday I don dey filling station for Lagos because there was no money then.

It cost N100 or N50 to come to Lagos standing. So when I was in Lagos I was doing shows with Teju Baby Face and we were being paid N2000every month and we were going there every Tuesday and Thursday. To resume as early as 7 o’ clock , I had to leave my house like 5.30am in order to beat the traffic. Sometimes, I will take a bike from Ebute Meta down to VI. When we finished we would take a bus down to Ali Baba’s office. Nobody knew this then, but it was a tough struggle. What younger comedians are doing now is not struggling. In my time there were no comedy clubs and there was no platform for comedians to perform. Now AY is doing his show and Gbenga Adeyinka is also doing his show, back then there was nothing like that.

It was only Nite of a thousand laughs and nothing else. To get to Nite of a thousand laughs then you have to do series of auditions and someone has to recommend you. Then it was Ali Baba that recommended me and even after the recommendation I still had to do an audition and amongst the lot I came first. When comedians say Basket Mouth had it easy I say I did not. The reason I came on the platform Nite of a thousand laughs was because I won the audition, I came first and they liked me, so it was my work that paid off for me. 85% of the younger comedians, I mean the new breed are lazy.

I don’t want to mention names, but I was standing with two upcoming comedians and one of them was laughing and told me a joke that the other cracked saying the guy killed the show, and it happened that it was my joke. It was a joke that I had dropped like ten years ago. So I ended the joke for the guy but I did not tell him it was my joke. So these people are lazy and that is why it is a little bit difficult for them because they are not really working.

When Klint the Drunk entered he sky rocketed, when Gordons entered it was the same story, so when you get to a level what works for you is your packaging, how you present yourself. The industry will allow you to come in, but it is whether you will be able to stay there that matters. So your platform, your packaging, and the way you present yourself, the way people love you, your relevance to the industry and the society is what keeps you there. So I suffer well well, if you know how many places I don trek go you would be surprised. I had to trek from railway compound down to UNILAG high rise to meet Tee A. I didn’t see him and I trekked back (laughs)… from high rise to railway compound .

Where is Railway compound?

It’s in Ebute Metta. So you can imagine the long trek. We were supposed to go for a show then and there was no GSM; it was just pagers and I couldn’t afford one. It was a tough struggle.

Why did you leave Benin?

I was done with school and aside that there were more opportunities in Lagos. I was born in Lagos, Ajegunle to be precise and as at the time I finished school, my parents were in Isolo. So when Isolo became too far for me I started staying with a friend of mine at Ebute Metta , because it was close to the Island and Surulere . In fact in the course of the struggle I also stayed with Dare Art Alade. He put me in his crib for a couple of months.

When was that?

2000, 2001. When he was still with Cool FM, I was staying in his apartment.

Not so many people knew you were born in Ajegunle

Yes. I was born in Ajegunle. At least four out of five of us siblings in my family were born in Ajegunle. My late eldest brother was the only one that wasn’t born in Ajegunle. My immediate elder brother Godwin and I were born in Uzo Street in Ajegunle and later we moved to Alafia Street where my two sisters were born. From there, we moved to KiriKiri town. So we be Paco, (laughs)…. But when I say we be Paco that does not mean we weren’t well trained and all that. My Dad was a hardworking man and there was never a time we needed to eat breakfast, lunch or dinner and it wasn’t there. I refer to the Ajebos as those who travel to UK for holidays but we the Pacos will just go visit an uncle and that’s it. So that’s why I refer to us as Paco.

I am sure you have heard it before that all of a sudden when Basket mouth became big he also became proud and doesn’t relate with his friends like he used to. As a matter of fact you hardly even have friends among comedians. You don’t call people to your shows and all that. Is Basket Mouth proud?

No. I personally don’t use the word proud to refer to someone, because if I do, it makes me feel I am intimidated by that person. So those who refer to people as being proud are insecure and probably have low self esteem. I have tried as much as possible to live the life that people want me to live. I cannot tell the number of fans I have out there but I know I have quite a number of fans which I appreciate. Some of them don’t like my dread locks and some of them love it but I cannot just decide to cut my dread locks because some of my fans don’t like it.

I cannot meet the demands of each person. About being proud I would say I am a proud man, I am proud to be who I am, I am proud to be a Nigerian and I have self pride. I am happy not because I am famous but because of whom I am and I have moved. If I move from Iponri to Surulere I cannot still be living in Iponri when I have already moved to Surulere. When I moved, I made new friends and I cannot keep more than 300 friends at the same time. Life is a journey, you meet people every day. So when people say he has dropped his friends it’s not true. I did not drop my friends but you know when you move the demand is higher and the hustle doubles. Gone are the days when I leave a show and then go to the bar to go hang out with my friends.

Now when I leave a show I have to think about how to go take care of my family. I have a son and I have to pay bills, so when I calculate what bill a bottle of champagne will take care of I just relax. So when you are not doing all of these things some of your friends conclude he has left us. The truth is this, you cannot do all these things everyday because it is a waste of time. We live, we grow, we change, and we advance in the way we think. Let me break it down a little more, the guy that is my PA right now I have known him for like twenty years, my manager is in South Africa doing his masters. I have known him for twenty years, my prior manager I have known him for like sixteen years, the other girl that works for me happens to be my cousin and I have known her like all my life.

So all the people that work for me I have known for a minimum of five years. I do not really make new friends. Like I said earlier, it’s like a journey so even when I meet new people they’re more of acquaintances, they don’t kick out my old friends. This is why I try as much as possible to keep my old friends closer. Also, I live in Lekki; when I was in Surulere most of my friends were in Surulere and meeting them was easy, but now I am in Lekki, meeting them cannot be as easy as before. when I want to go to Surulere now, I go at night, think of the traffic, the risk of armed robbery and all sorts so what I do is I tell my friends to come over or I fix an appointment for weekends but you know I work on weekends. So all these instances actually make it a little difficult seeing my friends but I keep them close at heart and I still love every one of them and that’s why I make sure that the people working with me are the ones that know me, my secret is their secret. Those around me are like my brothers. Going back to the issue of pride, if some people refer to me as pompous I like them to know till date I still visit white house to eat amala, I still go to Belgium in Amuwo Odofin.

Last week, I was at Olaiya in Surulere buying Amala. I still go to the local bars to drink. Why? Because these are the places I get my materials from, that is where I grew up, na there I belong. I cannot be thinking of eating amala in all these big places . Who I dey form for?. I still go to Ajegunle once in a while to meet my people. I still go to Benin to see I go die and I hook up with my friends from school but people don’t know this. Coming to my events and the fact that I do not carry other people along, I was the first comedian that started an event, and I did that event not just for myself but to project and promote upcoming comedians and I think I was the first person that did that and the reason I did that was to pay back. Ali Baba did it for me and I think it was only proper and professional for me to pay back, because that was what he told me, that I should make sure I carry people along. I am not into carrying people along by having them come to stay in my house because I love my privacy.

I don’t need to mention the names of at least five known comedians that have stayed with me. I will let them do the mentioning themselves, not because they were homeless but because I wanted them to, I was giving back. When I started Laffs and Jamz I was promoting all sorts. I told them come to the show if you are good but after a while that has to change as change is the only constant thing in life. I had to move from that platform of Laffs and Jamz to normal annual shows. When I did my first annual show it was called Humor unlimited with Basket Mouth. That was in 2004, I featured Ali Baba, Tee A, Okey Bakassi, Basorge, everybody was at that show.

After that event I decided to start doing a one man standup comedy show because I found out that my previous shows were only promoting a comedy event… imagine in an even that was to last for 4hrs I end up performing for like 30 minutes, and when I did my research I found out that it’s just one standup comedian to a show. That was what Chris Rock and the like of him were doing and I needed to go through that route too. Till date what I just do to give back is to give out shows I cannot attend to other comedians. People don’t really know all these things because I don’t go around bragging about it the way some others do.

Do you think this rumor is the result of you not relating well with other comedians?

The thing is this, I have not actually started the journey, I have not actually gotten to where I am aiming for, so when people say I am forming, I say no . I am not a big boy yet, and I have not started forming. I will start forming when I have hosted the Oscars or the Grammys and so on. For now I am still struggling, I am still an upcoming comedian as far as I am concerned. I don’t want to be No 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, I don’t want to win awards I just want to be relevant to the industry. I want my name to be mentioned when people talk about the first 10 comedians in Nigeria and that is the reason I try as much as possible to keep fresh. I am close to each and every one of my colleagues . At least you saw Onyebuchi, in my house recently. I was with Bovi and Buchi so everyday I’m with one comedian or the other.

How about you and Julius Agwu?

People have said a lot about what happened between me and Julius. Julius and I are still friends. Unfortunately, a lot of events have happened that made people believe we are fighting. When he did his wedding ,I was doing my event and I had booked my event three or four months before that time so I didn’t know he was going to have a wedding at that time. When he was doing another show was when I was celebrating my son’s birthday, so all these things clashed and people say, I intentionally fixed those programs on those days but I and Julius are still friends, we talk when we see.

But you know you cannot be too close to everybody because you are hustling, I am on the road. I run an event management company and I have a couple of clients that are very demanding. So aside the fact that I am a comedian I also work as a staff for my company, so I am always busy. Then with other comedians, when we were doing the Glo Lafta thing they were all part of it. We had close to 20 comedians rotating. If I was the kind of comedian that does not carry people along, when that opportunity came I won’t have given it to anybody. I would probably just kill it but you know I carry my people along.

The Chairman said he wants to affect the lives of comedians but I could have discouraged the idea if I didn’t have the interest of others at heart and for me if I have to work with comedians I don’t pick anyone out of sentiments. I pick comedians according to their work. If you can deliver I will use you… if you cannot I won’t. I am that kind of person that calls a spade a shovel. So if there is any comedian I am not using right now, it is either because the client don’t want him or I don’t find the guy funny.

But you have never used Julius?

Yes, because most of the clients that would call me already has his contact address. Julius is my Egbon, he is my senior brother in the industry so if my clients need him they will call him directly.

Is it true that after Ali Baba you are the biggest?

I disagree. Even if I am being labeled the next king after Ali Baba I will take it as a compliment but I cannot say that with my mouth. I appreciate the fact that people see me as such but I know I am not the funniest comedian. I know I am not the most creative. There is Gandoki, Seyi law, Buchi, Bovi, Okey Bakassi (that’s one comedian I learn from), so when people say such things about me I ask what about all these other talented comedians.

There seems to be so much of a business side to some of you now. How true is that?

This thing we do is called Show Biz. There is a business side to it and there is a show or entertainment side to it. Entertainment is business one way or the other if you look at it and we as entertainers do not have any retirement benefit so more often than not we always build up our own retirement benefit. Because of this, we diversify into so many businesses which is the right thing for someone who is having little change here and there to do, because it can’t always be rosy so you have to invest. Even if you study rich men, you will find out that they have hands in so many other things and there is no law that says comedians cannot also do the same. We also do this because of the family.

You know one cannot always be funny, our voice cannot always be sweet, you will always have your time and I have learnt from a lot of people and a lot of my colleagues who were so prominent in the media and after a while their names just disappeared. That doesn’t make them poor, it’s just that it would have cut down their income as comedians, so if any of them had invested earlier it won’t affect them. That is why we learn from the older ones. For example Tee A is one of the most businesse minded artistes I have seen, but I don’t like diversifying into what I am not in love with.

Tell me about your event company. I learnt it is thriving as well?

I told you earlier that when I was in school I used to package events, but then there was no company name. We were just more or less like show promoters, myself and Bayo Adekeye. We meet the rich kids in school and tell them to invest N100, 000 and get back N130,000. So when we get the money we do the investment and give them back their money and then we have our profit. That was what we were doing for a long time. In the course of that I learnt a lot and when I settled down as a comedian, the love for packaging events was still there.

Regarding the events I have done, I am the one that built up the concept, the publicity, venue and every other thing. So at a point in time I felt it was high time I made it professional because a lot of people pay companies to do what I do so I decided to start providing content that was when I formed Baron World Entertainment. We are not into décor and all that. What we do is we provide content, we give you what is going to happen on the stage, you don’t have to bother about artistes or venue. All you do is just come to the event and focus your attention on the stage. For example if it’s an award program, we work with your award plans and then input entertainment. We are trying to also get into wedding planning.

We also promote artistes but we have not gone professional with that one yet. We intend to promote known artistes and upcoming ones too. I am already discussing with Eldee de Don, and some other upcoming artistes but we are still trying to get a good financial base and get the company stronger before we carry that much load but at Baron World Entertainment we are more into content provision.

Who are the clients you have had?

We have had Multilinks, Sahara and some names I cannot mention because of the brand I represent but mainly my major clients are Virgin Atlantic and Guarantee Trust Bank.

I read somewhere that GLO paid Basket Mouth N40m as an ambassador, is that true?

They paid me some money, and I cannot disclose the exact figure but it was good enough to make me happy.

What role did Ali Baba play in your life?

Ali Baba played all the roles I needed as an upcoming comedian at a point that I met him. Ali was a friend, a colleague, a brother, a teacher, he was the one that actually made me start tilting towards anchoring events . Before I was just a plain standup comedian… I just go on stage and I was really into jokes . Ali Baba was the one that made me start creating materials and doing more story telling because I have stories. So he was like look, stop cracking jokes start telling stories because that was my strength.

Ali Baba cracked jokes but at a level he said you know what, you tell stories, talk about life, you’ve been through all these things and that’s your style. So I said okay, and fed on all that I had in my head and he guided me and I would say I owe it to a lot of people.I can’t start mentioning their names now but Ali Baba was the first person. The only reason why I always say I owe everything to this man is that he was the first person that brought me in without any sense if insecurity. He was always saying this boy is hot….

Where did you meet him?

We met at Benin. When he came to do a show, I went as a fan to watch him perform and I went back stage to greet him. The next time we met I was practicing comedy and when I finished he actually stood up to give me a standing ovation and that was the opportunity. So I went to meet him afterwards and we hit it off from that point and since that point he’s been very supportive.

You worked for him as a P.A?

Yeah I worked for him as a P.A. (laughs) but it’s unofficial. I worked with him for like two years and while I was his P.A I was like a dummy …like if he has two events he would say “Bright come in and perform. I have another event stand him for me”, he would go and come back. I was always like one of the guys that stay to guide the event. He was training me at that point because at that time I never thought I would be able to stand before dignitaries to hold a microphone.

At that point he liked me so it was never a problem for him to leave a venue and come back only for people at the event to be shouting at him or talking to him recklessly. They won’t even know he left for somewhere else when he comes back. If anyone asks, I just say bros go ease himself, he dey come back, so you do this and you do that and that was actually what he was doing. So he introduced me to most of his clients. That was why the growth was faster. So apart from just being his P.A I was always going to every event and he was always giving me opportunities to perform for top people and that was how the name spread a little bit faster than it would have . If I had not met Ali Baba, I might still be here at the level I am right now or the growth may be slower, who knows, but he was one of the people that kick - started me.

We heard your colleagues were not at your father’s burial, what happened?

Not all of them. I go die , Don Jazzy , Gandoki, I go save, Sim Card, and Buchi came . But Gandoki, Sim card and I go save were actually on their way. They thought it was going to be an all night thing not knowing it was a day thing, so we met on the way and we slept in Owerri. Some of them couldn’t come because they had an event, some didn’t come because they didn’t feel like it because coming to my village is quite a long journey.

I understand if anybody said look I can’t come I won’t be able to make it and aside that they didn’t come because they felt that in the past I have not really be present at their own event which I understand . So I don’t hold any grudge against anybody. The reason why you hardly see me around during events organized by my colleagues or friends is because I’m extremely busy. If I can’t make it, I’ll tell you friend I can’t make it but most people don’t understand.

Did you invite all of them?

I invited all of them. Some of them didn’t tell me they won’t come and some of them after the event didn’t even call to say how did it go and I was like is this a sign to let me know that guy “we are angry at you or whatever”. But I don’t think so, because I have been at most of their events …wedding, birthdays whatever. That shouldn’t be the reason it has to be something else .Whatever their reasons I don’t want to know. I’m not going to hold any grudges against anybody.

But didn’t you feel bad?

I felt bad , because when I celebrated my son’s 1st birthday everybody came.All my comedian colleagues were there and when I was now celebrating death most of them didn’t come and I was like are we fair weather friends or are we friends for real? So that was the only thing that made me feel bad.

Have you been able to get to any of them?

I got to a few of them. Those that I really hold dear to me… I told them guys I don’t like what you did… you should have called me. Most of them I let go because it’s fine. It’s just that I’m that kind of person…. if I invite you to come eat and celebrate with me and you come, and I later invite you to come feel the pain that I’m facing right now and you don’t come I will find it hard to invite you to come and eat with me again. So just in case I don’t invite some people to my wedding they will probably understand.

So let’s come to this your son, how old is he now?

My son is going to be two years in May.

When are you getting married?

I’m thinking of getting married this year. My younger sister is getting married this year; so I’m trying to give a little bit of space because it will consume a lot of money. Regarding my wedding we’re trying as much as possible to make it very small and at the same time very loud and so I don’t want to rush, but definitely I’m getting married this year.

You want to get married to the mother of your son… is it as a result of necessity or as a result of love?

Love really. I’ve known her for like six years and apart from the fact that she’s the mother of my son we are also friends and it’s easier to live a happily married life with someone that understands you and someone that you really have a good communication with. Mainly I’m not particular about love itself .I’m particular about communication, friendship, and understanding which is what we have. I can’t start a new relationship dealing with anybody else.

The Lord of the Ribs is a new show replacing Basket Mouth Uncensored. Before you talk of the one that will take place in Nigeria let’s talk about the one that took place in U.K. The show attracted a lot of accolades. What did you do right and how do you feel?

Okay I didn’t know that it was going to be another sell-out by a black comedian in the UK. Eddie Kaddie was my M.C. What we did right was actually the publicity. The publicity was elaborate and the venue was extremely perfect we couldn’t have made a better choice. There was something about the 02. The biggest concert has been held at the 02. So we were like okay, we’re going to do this because I didn’t want to get into a mini show in London and just pick one cheap venue.

The show is not registered, there is no work permit, I am performing and scared of immigration, you know all that. So we went through the right sources and we applied for work permit, paid tax, insured the show, did everything right and because of what we did there was no limitation to the amount of publicity that we were going to do. Talking about how it became a success, I think apart from the fact that it was well publicized, what we are selling was worth it. A lot of people came there to watch me perform and I gave them what they came for. I tried my best to make sure that they got what they wanted. And it was a good show … it was extremely good, it wasn’t just directed to us Nigerians, there were Ghanaians, South Africans, Zimbabweans even the British people we had a couple of them there. I’m still hoping that I will still repeat that event there because it was something I never thought could happen and after this one I might do one next year .

I don’t know yet but there was no other way to start because I stopped doing Basket mouth uncensored last year and I wanted to bring up a new brand which was the Lord of the Ribs and there was no other way to start Lord of the Ribs than to start the way it started. The platform we used, the crowd and all that would make the next edition which is in Lagos easier to achieve. I’m also bringing in some comedians from U.K to join me. They all said the show was great thanks to all the people that came…

What should we expect from the Lord of the Rib in Nigeria?

Lord of the Rib in Nigeria will be featuring two U.K comedians and one South African comedian. One of the U.K comedians is white and he speaks Pigin English and Yoruba. He’s extremely funny. His name is Kevin J and he’s one of the biggest comedians in the U.K right now. The other comedian, Eddy Carle is a Congolese but he’s also British. He was actually at the show at the Old 02 arena the one with the 20,000 seating capacity. The C.Ds will be sold out because since September the thing is almost half gone. The comedian from South Africa, David Cow is extremely good also.

He is black and he’s one of the biggest comedians in South Africa. I’ll also be featuring two or three comedians from Nigeria like Bovi, Buchi, and I go die. I won’t be able to feature more Nigerian comedians because there would be no time but I’m also trying to build a platform, a new show that will give other comedians an opportunity to also be on stage but right for Lord of the Rib in Lagos we are trying as much as possible to make it extremely different because I’m not going to be the only comedian. We are trying to make it as big as possible using the new venue at the new Expo Center that has 25,000 seating capacity and we are looking at making it a little bit affordable unlike my previous shows that tilted towardsN5000, and N10,000.

This one is going to be a little bit cheaper but definitely we intend to make it one of the biggest comedy events ever in the history of comedy in Nigeria. That’s my plan. I intend to do it to the point where even the foreigners too will be part of it.

When will it take place?

We are looking at June. I heard that there are a couple of events in May so I’m looking at June and July but it won’t go beyond the summer because a lot of the people will be traveling. So it will be right before summer.

Will it be cheaper than N5, 000?

Yes, it might be. We are still looking at it. N5, 000

Give us a bit of yourself what did you do in school?

I attended UNIBEN . I studied sociology and I left in 2001. I didn’t do a BSc degree. I did two diplomas, in sociology and anthropology and also sociology on its own. I was supposed to do my direct entry and go further. I just felt the one I had already don do, make I face comedy which is my talent. For me it’s not about the certificate but it’s about the talent. I definitely don’t see myself using my certificate to work. I cannot do the 9am – 5pm thing except I’m going to my own company. I started professional comedy in 2000 so I’m supposed to be celebrating my ten years on stage but I don’t believe in all these celebrations because I feel like I’ve not really done anything. So I’ll probably wait till I am twenty years old on stage and by then I’ll probably be in my early forties so I will still be young in the industry.

What would you say of other comedians that copy other people’s jokes …. have you ever copied other people’s jokes?

I have not copied other people’s jokes but I have copied their subject matters. So when people talk about something and I like it, I’ll elaborate on it. So it’s all about ideas. You pick an idea on someone else’s jokes. It’s natural . I’ve used Ali Baba’s joke before not because I ran out of jokes but because I liked it. I told him bros this joke I am seizing it; it’s no more your joke. When it comes to copying other people’s jokes, some comedians do so due to laziness. It is also an act of disrespect for the originators because these people go through a lot in getting a good joke and someone from nowhere comes up and uses the joke.

Who are your top five upcoming comedians?

I won’t call them upcoming comedians. I’ll call them young comedians and they can’t be five. I’ll have to mention ten. I like Seyi law, D Don, Mr Patrick, Buchi, I like Bovy a whole lot because his style is actually like mine and the same thing with Buchi.He is very, very spontaneous I like both of them. I can take both of them out of the whole lot and if I say I want to choose my first two I will choose them. I don’t want to mention names because they may feel bad if I don’t mention their names . There are other comedians like Ele nu, Mc Shakara, then the lecturals. I admire their work , because they have it in them although I can’t really remember all their names.

Let’s come to your own class, your top five biggest comedians?

Hmmm number one is Oke bakasi, I go die, Gandoki, Ali Baba and Basorge

Okay who are the five worse comedians?

I can’t say that … I can’t say that, I’m sorry

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His ebony skin stood out in sharp contrast to the white crowd pressing to get a better view. The young African boy bared his teeth at the men and women staring at him through the bars. They were sharpened into dagger-like points, making him appear all the more barbaric to the ignorant hordes. Above the cage hung a sign proclaiming: 'The Missing Link.' A baby chimp sat disconsolately at the bottom of the enclosure, a single companion to the boy. Exploited: Pygmy Ota Benga on display with monkeys at Bronx Zoo in 1906 The year was 1906. This was a pygmy, brought to America as a novelty to be put on display in the monkey house. The New York Times reported: 'There were 40,000 visitors to the park on Sunday. Nearly every man, woman and child of this crowd made for the monkey house to see the star attraction in the park - the wild man from Africa. 'They chased him about the grounds all day, howling, jeering, and yelling. Some of them poked him in the ribs, others tripped him up, all laughed at him.' Suddenly, the boy turned. Taking the bow and arrow given to him as an ethnic accessory, he shot at the gawpers. His arrow did no harm, but he did scare the life out of the onlookers. This was Ota Benga, a pygmy, brought from the Congo and put on display in a zoo as an example of what scientists at the time proclaimed to be an evolutionary inferior race. His story would divide a nation, and is now told for the first time in a new documentary, The Human Zoo. The programme lifts the lid on a dark period in history, where 'natives' were paraded as exhibits, fuelling the spread of white supremacism and even contributing to the rise of Nazism. Tragically, Benga became the victim of one of the most awful acts of exploitation ever seen and died a shadow of the proud young tribesman who arrived in America. So just who was he, and how did this grotesque experiment help shape the 20th century view of race? A hundred years ago, before television and mass tourism, a handful of enterprising adventurers, anthropologists and businessman decided to bring the far-flung glories of the world to life in one place. Huge fairs were held in Paris, London and America, exhibiting everything from Italian gondolas to African elephants. Having promised the world, there was pressure to deliver: people were the next quarry. In 1904, the showman anthropologist William McGee conceived the idea of a human zoo, to be held in St Louis in the U.S. state of Missouri. It was designed to be one of the largest scientific experiments ever undertaken and would be spectacular public entertainment. McGee wanted the tallest people in the world, veritable giants from Patagonia, at the tip of South America. He wanted the Ainu, who lived on an island north of Japan and were supposedly the hairiest humans. He placed an order for 300 Filipinos - there is no record of why he wanted so many. His grandson, Phillips Verner Bradford, says: 'If you told him that a place was dangerous, he'd say: "I want to go there!" He was that sort of guy.' Verner took a boat from New York to London, down the European coast and around Africa to the Congo River. Bradford says: 'He made his way up the Congo River with steamers as far as they would go. Once he arrived at the great waterfalls, he had to hire a crew of natives.' They encountered crocodiles and hippopotamuses, and deadly whirlpools that could sink a boat. Eventually, Verner made it into the jungle. He blithely walked into a village of cannibals, and found that they had captured a rival tribe who were being held in cages, ready to be eaten. More... The final proof? Memoirs that may show Hitler DID order the 'final solution' to be published after his right-hand man dies To his delight, the prisoners were pygmies, or Mbuti - just what he was looking for. He began negotiating. Talking to the pygmies in their native Chiluba, he established that they would rather be taken to America than eaten. He bought six pygmies from their captors for a roll of brass wire and some salt. One pygmy stood out. He was Ota. Photos of him taken in the Congo show a playful, chubby young man, a broad smile revealing his sharpened teeth, which were filed in his youth. He looks healthy, spirited and full of life, standing around 4ft 8in tall. He had never seen a white man before. Verner realised that he had a hugely marketable proposition on his hands, and made the return trip across the Atlantic with his human treasure. For their part, the pygmies were intrigued by everything they saw and were full of questions: how did the boat work? Was there a cage of hippopotamuses down beneath pedalling it along? Verner showed them how the steam engine functioned. Docking at New Orleans in June 1904, the Africans caught their first glimpse of America. They were stunned by the tall buildings and wide streets. The six pygmies were sent to St Louis by rail. There, they became McGee's most important exhibits, the centerpiece of the St Louis World Fair, feted by society and academics alike. Adverts proclaimed: 'They live in forests, they are extremely shy. They eat the flesh of wild animals killed with poisoned arrows. They are cruel, finding delight in torturing animals. 'They have long heads, long narrow faces and little red eyes, set close together like those of ferrets. Their bodies are exceptionally hairy. 'A pygmy has been known to eat 60 bananas at one meal, in addition to other food, and then ask for more. 'They seem to be controlled by an impulse that makes them delight in wickedness. If caught young, they are said to make excellent servants.' Scientific racism: Ota Benga's Bronx Zoo captors had an admirer in Hitler He wanted what he considered the most primitive American Indian tribe, the Cocopah in Mexico. He asked for Eskimos. But most of all, he wanted the smallest people in the world. He needed pygmies. He had heard that they were very short and very black, and he had to have one. Explorer Samuel Phillips Verner was dispatched by McGee to the Belgian Congo with a shopping list. It read: 'One pygmy patriarch or chief. One adult woman, preferably his wife. One adult man, preferably his son. One adult woman, the wife of the last or daughter of the first. One female youth unmarried. Two infants. A priestess and a priest, or medicine doctors, preferably old. All of the above to be pygmies.' Duly detailed, Verner set off for deepest Africa. He knew that this operation could be the making of him, putting him in the same league as Henry Stanley and Dr David Livingstone. As the sales pitch shows, the human zoo played into the hands of white supremacists, teaching the public that there was a hierarchy of races, with the white man at the top and all others beneath. McGee himself, in his book The Trend Of Human Progress, published in 1899, wrote: 'Those who know the races realise that the average white man is stronger of limb, fleeter of foot, clearer of eye, than the average yellow or red or black.' Bastardising Darwin's theory of evolution, McGee saw each race as a stage in human evolution - with pygmies the least evolved of the species. With his rudimentary Victorian understanding of science, he believed they were the living missing link between apes and humans. The human zoo was a fantastic success - and widely copied. Dr Sadiah Qureshi, a historian at the University of Cambridge, says: 'Millions of people went to see these shows at their peak. Originally you would get a show in a local theatre. By the late 19th century you would see hundreds, if not a couple of thousand people living on site, eating and on constant display.' Indeed, some years later, in 1924, King George V and Queen Mary inspected the live exhibits at the British Empire Exhibition, at Wembley. Some Europeans' curiosity knew no bounds, however. Qureshi says: 'The 1899 exhibition Savage South Africa held at Earl's Court in London caused quite a stir. At one point women were banned from going inside because they had supposedly been touching the natives.' For almost a year, Ota and the other pygmies lived in America as human exhibits. They were made to build native houses, perform traditional dance ceremonies, live partially naked and cook authentic food. Ota was described in the press as 'a dwarfy, black specimen of sad-eyed humanity'. With his filed tribal teeth, he was the most celebrated pygmy and dubbed 'Lord of the savage world'. He posed for photographs for 25 cents. In 1905, after they had been viewed by a total of 20 million people, Verner took the pygmies home to the Congo. Ota had planned to rejoin his tribe - but discovered that they had been entirely wiped out by Belgian soldiers. He married a girl from the nearby Batwa tribe, and appeared to settle back into life in Africa. Then his wife was bitten by a poisonous snake and died. The Batwa rejected him, believing he was cursed and responsible for the young woman's death. Ota was cast adrift, a stranger in his own land. He begged his friend Verner to take him back to America. Verner was reluctant, but eventually acquiesced, taking him to New York. The pair shared the 3,000-mile sea voyage with crates of live animals, parrots, monkeys, snakes and other exotic booty, which Verner planned to sell in America. On the ship, Ota discovered cigarettes and drink. Arriving in New York, Verner - who had business to do - bade him farewell, arranging accommodation in a spare room - this time he was not on show - at the American Museum of Natural History. There, he thought Ota would be safe. Soon, however, he came to the attention of William Hornaday, a conservationist and director of the Bronx Zoo. Collaborating with one of America's most notorious racists, Madison Grant, he conceived a plan. Grant wanted to promote 'scientific racism', talking in terms of 'purity of type', and the survival of the white master race. In 1930, after his work The Passing Of The Great Race was translated into German, Grant received a letter from an aspiring politician, saying 'your book is my bible'. The man was Adolf Hitler. He would indeed use 'scientific racism' as the foundation for the Third Reich, giving academic grounding to the Holocaust. Together, Hornaday and Grant offered to take charge of Ota Benga, who initially believed he would be looking after the Bronx Zoo's elephants. In fact, he was going to be put on public display as a living example of 'racial inferiority'. Immediately, the exhibition prompted criticism. The New York Times reported on September 9, 1906: 'The exhibition was that of a human being in a monkey cage. A human being. In a monkey cage. 'The human being happened to be a Bushman, one of a race that scientists do not rate high in the human scale, but to the average nonscientific person in the crowd of sightseers there was something about the display that was unpleasant. 'It is probably a good thing that Benga doesn't think very deeply. If he did it isn't likely that he was very proud of himself when he woke in the morning and found himself under the same roof with the orang-utans and monkeys, for that is where he really is.' The exhibition was a sensation. On a single day, 40,000 people arrived to see Ota and his chimp. The show lasted only two weeks, however, due to a public outcry, and human zoos as a phenomenon died out by the Forties. So what became of Ota Benga? After he was removed from the Bronx Zoo, there was great debate regarding his fate. African-American church ministers insisted he be released - not for his comfort, but because they wanted to convert the pygmy to Christianity. He was eventually placed in an orphanage for black children, the Howard Colored Orphan Asylum, to be 'civilised'. He was dressed in Western clothes and taught how to eat, talk and behave like an American. He had his pointed teeth capped and attended a Baptist seminary, where he started to study English. He was kept out of the public eye for four years. Eventually, he moved from New York to the backwater town of Lynchburg, Virginia, where he became a local curiosity and was known as Otto Bingo. Forevermore haunted by his time in the monkey cage, he would repeatedly slap his chest, declaring: 'I am a man. I am a man.' He began to save money to return to the Congo, working in a tobacco factory. With the outbreak of World War I, this became impossible and Ota sunk into depression. He never did make it home. One evening, he went into a barn behind the village general store. He chipped off the caps hiding his teeth, restoring them to their filed-down glory, lit a small ceremonial campfire, and shot himself in the head, dying ten years after being put on display at the Bronx zoo. He was 32 years old. His story now bears testament to the ignorance of those who believed themselves superior to him. He was buried in an unmarked grave, but he left his mark on the world, exposing as moral pygmies the lesser men who would cage a human.
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She hit the silver screen as Bisi in the UNFPA-sponsored family television series called ‘I Need to Know.’ With plaited hair and secondary school uniform, she successfully played the role of a teenager for four years. Wasn’t that enough credential for her to stroll effortlessly into the centre stage in Nollywood? That was what she thought but that was not what happened. She ran into many brick walls. Many doors were slammed in her face. She wept in toilets and inside ‘danfo’ on her way home after unsuccessful auditions. She decided to cut her losses and go into Yoruba movies. On her sixth production, she hit jackpot. Sunday Sun presents to you, Jenifa, the girl who brought Funke Akindele fame and fortune. I sat in bukas in Ilorin, Ibadan and Osogbo to learn how to play the Jenifa character The story of Jenifa is that of a village girl who wanted to be a big girl. She wanted to be a force to reckon with by force. She wanted to be noticed and she was noticed at the end of the day but on the negative side. She was infected with HIV and that’s why I want to do the return of Jenifa. There are unresolved conflicts that will be explored in the sequel, The return of Jenifa. For instance, what happened to the lady that arranged the girls for parties The sequel will reveal what happened to her and there are many other characters in there that we need to know what happened to them. Then, I want to go deeper into the HIV theme, parental negligence, cultism. I want to explore the social vices on our campuses and that’s why we are having the return of Jenifa. I was moved to do Jenifa because I wanted to do something near real. I’d never seen anything like that before and of course I’m a very wild thinker. Oh and there is nothing in my background that helped me play Jenifa character as convincingly as I did. I’m just very funny naturally, at least that’s what people say. I say things that linger in people’s memory. What I did was to go and understudy how a local girl will pronounce ‘big girl’. I had to travel down to Ibadan, Oshogbo, Ilorin, sit in bukas and listen to all those local girls talk. I studied the way they painted their faces, their attitudes and their brand of self-confidence. Some of the slangs are Sulia kan, Ayetoro kan, then bigs girl, mo don jazzy e. The movie has really changed my life. It’s a big shoe that I really have to fit into. While I was coming here I was still thinking about how to do something better. I only own the copyright. I’m not the executive producer. I have a marketer, Olasco Films. He paid me off. Jenifa has brought me fame and fortune but I believe that ‘the return of Jenifa will bring me more. It took me six months to write the script, one month to shoot and then the editing and all other post-production stuff. In all it took a year. The location was Lagos State Polytechnic, Ikorodu. I read Law to please my father Funke Akindele is an actress, a movie producer who’s been producing before Jennifa but Jennifa gave her the break. The first movie I produced was Ojo ketala. I had six before Jenifa. I went to Grace Nursery and Primary School, Gbagada, Lagos State Model College. I have an OND in Mass Communication from Ogun State Polytechnic ,now Moshood Abiola Polytechnic, I attended the University of Lagos where I studied Law but I’m not practicing. I went into movie production because that is my first love. Right from when I was small I’d loved acting but I studied Law because my father wanted me to be a lawyer. I wanted to study Theatre Arts but he insisted I must study Law first and that I could act after I was through with Law. I love criminal law and you could see that in my movies like Agbefo, Etanu, Taiwo Taiwo. It was after Taiwo Taiwo was released that the rumour about Oga Bello son and I started. I was frustrated when I didn’t get movie roles after playing lead character in ‘I Need to Know’ for four years. My mother has been there for me. She’s been very supportive. Back then she would drive me down to auditions. I started with ‘I Need to Know,’ a T.V series sponsored by UNNPA. I was in ‘I Need to Know’ for four years when I was in Unilag. It was about sex education, HIV/AIDS. I played a secondary school teenager and I had to learn how to talk like a teenager for me to fit into that character because i was not a teenager when I was playing that role. After ‘I Need to Know’, I thought I’d get movie roles easily because I was a lead character in ‘I Need to Know’ but it wasn’t forthcoming. I attended auditions. I acted in one or two English movies, ‘Egg of Life’, ‘Prison of Passion’ but it wasn’t forthcoming and I got frustrated. I moved into the Yoruba movies. I kept on attending auditions and they didn’t give me role and I didn’t know why. I believe it wasn’t my time then. English movie makers have a lot to learn from their Yoruba counterparts. The Yoruba movie industry people are very wonderful people. They gave me the break, the big opportunity. They were very good to me. I went into the Odunfa caucus where you have Yinka Quadri, Ogogo (Taiwo Hassan), Abbey Lanre is the director then and they accepted me. I started with one scene, two scenes, three scenes, sub-lead and then major roles. I believe we have better stories in the Yoruba movies. I’m not rubbishing English movies but I’ve watched some of them and after the first disc I just move on to something else. They have a lot to learn from us. Non-Yorubas can watch our movies because we subtitle in English. The only thing I think Yoruba movies should be doing is to shoot better movies. The English movies pay better but we are like a family where you can say when you do your movie, I’ll help you. We help each other but now we’ve improved. You can pay an artist as much as N500 000- N600 000 now. The market is becoming very big. I don’t really know who who the highest paid artistes are but I know that I pay my artist very well. I don’t know about others. Look at Jenifa, Olasco is always smiling to the bank. Each time I call him he’s always excited to pick my call. He made a lot of money from the film. My saddest day was the day I was searched for drugs at the airport. The worst thing that has been said about me was that Funke Akindele was caught carrying drugs at the airport. It was reported in a soft-sell magazine. Someone called me to tell me and I couldn’t believe it. I just broke down and wept. I felt so bad I had to start calling some friends in the media to write that I’m in Nigeria. It was the saddest moment of my life. I had to let people know it was a lie. I was even advised to feature on a show “Today on STV” but I declined. It was a big rumour. One woman abroad was just calling. Soggy was crying on phone when she called one of my friends and my friend connected her to me. When I told her I was at home, she shouted Halleluyah. This is the first time I’ll be saying it. I was going to London around June last year with Virgin Atlantic and after I’d passed the immigrations, a guy just stopped me and said hello. He asked where I was going to and I told him London. He asked me what I was going to do and I asked what business that was to him. I told him I was going on holiday. He said he wanted to check to see if I had drugs on me. I queried his right to search me and he now brought out his ID. It was my first time and I felt bad. I was sad. They wrote down my name and asked me to go in and step on the scanning machine. I wasn’t smiling and I dropped my bag very close to me so that they would not drop something inside it. After the search the lady started mentioning all my movies and apologised, saying they had searched other top Nigerian artistes. I had to write my name as negative. I walked away and I saw Nigerians being chained, young, handsome guys caught with drugs. Though they were doing their duty, I still felt very bad. The first time I went to London in October, 2007 they brought dogs to search us while the whites are passing freely and I said to myself, ‘see what we have brought on ourselves with yahoo yahoo, internet dating, drugs and the rest’. One of my friends, a big boy, was travelling to America and he was about bringing out his passport at the immigrations he now brought out Jenifa’s jacket. The American guy said oh bigs boy and I just said God thank you under my breath. They know me and I want them to know me more. Let me fly this flag positively, let them appreciate Nigeria through me and the movies I produce. I’m going to do something about that too to re-brand Nigeria. I’ll let people laugh and learn. Let us write scripts about these vices. Let me use the issue of yahoo yahoo guys. Let’s highlight things that Nigerians are doing that they would appreciate outside here, shoot it with international flavour that can cut across. By the time you show it in Hollywood they will appreciate it. You don’t shoot movies with one stupid camera and you believe they will watch it there. Do it and let them see Nigeria and the positive side. The happiest day of my life When my marketer called me that he really made a lot of money from my first movie Ojo Ketala, that was my happiest day in the movie industry. Nollywood can produce its own Slumdog Millionaire The technical aspect of our movies needs to be improved on. We are still far behind. As I watched Slumdog Millionaire, I kept on saying to myself I can do this. We can get professionals. What we need is funds. I watched D’Banj’s musical ‘Suddenly’ and it was shot with the Red Dot. The making was shot with the P2 and now in Nigeria we still are shouting I’m going to shoot my next movie with P2. If D’Banj brought P2 and Red Dot to shoot the musical, why can’t I do something like Slumdog Millionaire? Let’s do something with a good theme. Slumdog Millionaire was able to break into Hollywood because of that theme. We don’t yet have very strong themes and we are way behind technically. As a producer it depends on how deep you can think even as a writer. When I was writing Jenifa I just wanted to cut across the teenagers, undergraduate, the females and all that and at the end of the day a lot of people appreciated Jenifa. It depends on how deep you can think as a writer and as a producer it depends on how deep you can treat a good script. We are trying, I’m still young in the industry and with the little time I’ve spent I think we are growing. Way back we didn’t shoot movies as good as this we didn’t have something as good as ‘Amazing Grace’, we are growing. My dream is to make a great impact in the movie industry. All I have is given to me by God. I didn’t go to school to study it. When I write, my inspiration comes from God. So what I want to do in this industry is to make it grow, let the outside world appreciate our movies. I want the likes of Will Smith to watch my movie and say waoh, Nigeria is great because they watch Indian movies and they don’t speak English in Indian movies. They just subtitle. Slumdog Millionaire won eight Oscars. I want my own movies to get to that stage. I believe Jenifa is good enough to win an Oscar if it had been produced with international standard, if we have such equipment that was used to shoot Slumdog Millionaire. My two big projects, Dasofunjo and My Choice will feature Genevieve and other big stars I want to shoot two dance movies. I don’t have the money yet. One is in Yoruba, the other is English, Dasofunjo and My Choice. I want our parents to encourage their children to discover their talents. Everybody cannot be a doctor or a lawyer. It’s about the dancer that belongs to a family of lawyers and then one of the children said daddy I want to be a dancer; daddy I want to study theatre arts and the daddy said No you must study law and if you do not meet the cut off I’ll disown you. She did not meet the cut off. Daddy issues another ultimatum: if you don’t pass the diploma in Law I’ll disown you. She did not pass and he did disown her. She had to move into the ghetto, joined the dance team and at the end of the day she became so popular and her father accepted her. If we want to shoot that movie we have to rehearse for like three months. I want our stars to dance. I don’t want it to be the professionals, I want to see the likes of Genevieve , myself and other stars do break dancing, traditional bata. The lead would be a professional dancer. that’s Ka dofee but I want the stars on set to be good. We’ll be rehearsing for three months and for me to bring Genevieve out of her home for three months, you know how much I’ll be paying her. I’ve not told her she’s going to see this for the first time. Doris Simeon broke the news of my AMAA award to me on phone It was Doris Simeon that was calling me and giving me blow-by-blow account of the event, who what and which film was nominated for what category until they called my name and then my mum called too. I just said thank God. Everybody is saying I’m big; she won Future Awards, Dynamix, City People but I’m not seeing it. I believe God is the one who has made it all possible. Without God there is no me I am very close to my God. He means everything to me. Without God there is no me. All my life I’ve been born again (laughs), I attend Mountain of Fire and Miracles. I don’t allow myself to be distracted when I go to church. I just greet everybody but when it’s time to pray I face my God. My church is very serious when it’s time to pray. Maybe after the service people walk up to me but while praying, there’s nothing like that and they do not frown at any of the roles I play. I look back and the journey was so rough. Back then when I was looking for the right opportunity, trying to be known. When I went into acting I didn’t go into acting because of money or fame. I had the talent, I just wanted to display, exhibit, and the urge to do it was in me. The journey was rough. I’ll say things like at least give me a role even if it’s just one scene, it was rough. Taibal boutique gave shoes worth N1m I was at Taibal yesterday and the boutique gave me shoes worth a million. I tried the shoes on, beautiful shoes, I was given this bag too there, I just said God I thank you. Everybody is appreciating me it is you they are appreciating. it is you they are praising because you gave them to me. I was sad ‘Apaadi didn’t win any award at AMAA The Nigerian movie industry is lagging behind. From the little I watched of ‘From a Whisper’ from Kenya, it is technically sound, the picture is tight. I submitted Apaadi, I tried in Apaadi technically but I saw films that are way ahead of Apaadi .But I think next year we should be better. iI we want to produce any movie now, we really have to get the professionals. When you are given money, we should not think of what we want to gain. Finish the job first, do something very good so that when people see it they will come for more and you’ll make more money out of it. For AMAA I felt bad about it. Apaadi did not win any award and I felt bad, with all the my special effect I felt this is it and we were going to win many awards but when I got there I met my seniors. We have to really match that standard. I trekked long distances for audition, wept inside toilets and buses and I almost gave up. The journey has been long and tortuous but my mum, a gynaecologist has been very supportive. After God it’s my mum. She was there for me and she’s still there for me. When I felt like stopping she’d say no you have it in you, keep going. Frustration almost made me stop. I remember one day at about 6.30am I was going to Tobe Restaurant at Surulere (Lagos) where they had the auditions then and I misplaced my wallet. I had to trek from Ojuelegba to Kilo bus stop. When I finally got there, I put down my name and I was called me for the audition. I stood up and read my lines, acted, scaled through the first and second stages. At the last stage they said ‘sorry o your name is not there’. I remember had not taken lunch that day. I had no money to go back home and I trekked a long distance. I got home tired and my mum kept on encouraging and assuring me that I would eventually make it. I remember another experience after ‘I Need to Know’. My director was an American who knew so much about production and we were well paid because ‘I Need to Know’ was aired on almost every station and DSTV. All I learnt on that set helped become a good producer because my producer educated us on many things. After ‘I Need to Know’ I felt I should get all the major roles but it didn’t happen that way and I had to cross into the Yoruba movies. I remember Fathia Balogun called me that a producer wanted new faces and that I should come over. I went, got auditioned and I was told to go on location. The day I was going to shoot, my box was so big. I packed lots of costumes thinking I was going to play a lead role and I went on set and appeared in just two scenes. I was so sad. They gave me three thousand naira. I went into the toilet and I cried. I remember Tayo Odueke (Sikiratu Sindodo) coming to meet me and saying ‘Funke stop crying, one day we will make it.’ I carried my box into the bus (public transport) and I was just crying in the bus, but I knew I will make it some day. When I look back today, I say God I thank you. For me to be there today I give God the glory. I look like my father My father is a wonderful man, Reverend G.O Akindele of the Methodists Church. He was the Vice Principal of the school I attended, Lagos State Model College. He’s retired now. He’s very wonderful, very liberal, easy going. My mum was always beating us then because she believes in beating but my father always talked to us. I’ll lie to my mum when she asked if I did something because I knew she would beat me but my dad would say Funke please tell me did you do it and I’d say yes I did it and he’d believe me and warn me not to do it again and I would not want to do it again because of my father. The day my father appreciated what I’m doing was the day I went to his school and the students refused to go back into class. He said, ‘so this is what you do. No wonder, you are a star o.’ He also called me to congratulate me for AMAA. I look like my father. Success is when Funke Akindele wins an Oscar To be successful in life, you really have to be focused, determined. Some say Funke Akindele is there and she’s successful now but no this is just the beginning. We have to start doing something good now. For success to keep coming we have to work hard. People say I’m already a success story but I’m yet to get there. When international stars acknowledge Funke Akindele, when I win an Oscar, when my movie is being appreciated outside these shores, that is when I will accept that I’m successful. A producer once told me to come and meet him in a hotel and I told him to go home and sleep with his mother. To be successful as an actress, you have to be focused, dedicated, patient. When you come there don’t be intimidated, don’t compromise. I don’t waste time. When I’m on set to work I’m there to work. People tell me I’m too disciplined, what’s your problem? Are you the only good girl? They tell me that. I remember I have been indirectly harassed by a producer who once told me he’d give me a script and let me play the lead role but I must come and meet him at one hotel. I looked at him and told him he was mad. I said, ‘you want to sleep with me abi, do you have a mother? Go home and meet her and sleep with her.’ That was what I said because I was so angry. He didn’t come out straight but I’m sure that was what he meant. As an actress, do not compromise, don’t be dejected when you are rejected. Your time will come. People say to get to the top in Nollywood, one must kiss ass to get to the top but I did not kiss any ass but I beged for roles though, like saying please remember me in your next movie o. I joined the Odunfa Caucus through Fathia Balogun In the Yoruba movie industry you have to belong to a caucus. There are different caucuses like AKO (Awada Kerikeri Organisation) led by Oga Bello, Jide Kosoko, Odunfa caucus led by Yinka Quadri . There is also the caucus of Muka Ray, Ray Eyiwunmi, Lasun Ray. We have lots of them. It depends on the one you want to join but they are all the same. They all produce Yoruba movies and act in Yoruba movies. I joined Odunfa through Fathia Balogun and Iyabo Ojo. They belong to Odunfa caucus too. I met Fathia Balogun on set the production I was given three thousand naira I met Iyabo Ojo there too. That was how I got into the caucus. In the Yoruba movie industry you get registered, get a form. You will be interviewed so they’ll get to know whether you can act or you just want to be laying about and if you are not good at all you’ll need rehearsals. If you pass you go for production and you get registered under the Association of Nigerian Theatre Arts Practitioners, ANTP. My next big role will be to play the role of an old woman. So far, Jenifa is the most difficult role I’ve ever played. I had to learn how to speak like that but the character I want to play next is that of an old woman. I don’t want to play an old woman like any other person will do. I want to spend like six months each with three different old women and I give it to Garbazini, he’s a good make-up artist. I watched the movie where he made Mike Ezuruonye into an old man. The make-up was tight and Mike acted it very well. So I will get Garbazini to do the make-up. For me to do that, I want to learn how to talk like an old woman. I don’t want to mess myself up on set. I’ll spend six months each with the three old women, two educated and one illiterate. The way to interpret a role is by reading your script, understanding the character. My favourite actors and actresses I respect Bimbo Akintola especially when she’s acting emotional scenes. She’s a deep actress. She is one actress that makes me shiver. I give it to Bukky Wright, Sola Shobowale (I prefer Aunty Sola when she’s wild), Liz Benson, Joke Silva, Olu Jacobs, Kate Henshaw, Mercy Johnson, Nonso Diobi, Micheal Ezuruonye, Chioma Chukwuka. Very soon, there will be Jenifa wigs, bigz boy shirts… No I’m not doing anything on Funke Akindele for now but we are doing some thing on Jenifa. We are branding Jenifa, we are coming out with Jenifa wigs, weavon, accessories and we are coming out with bigs boy chain, bigs boys shirts, clothing lines. There will be Jenifa face caps, handbags, purses. We are building a brand around Jenifa. On my first day in higher institution, I screamed ‘free-at-last’ I felt like someone that has just been released from the prison because at home you have to be inside the house. The lesson teacher would come and meet you in the house. She was a disciplinarian. All she did then was to tell us ‘remember the daughter or the son of whom you are, don’t live a fake life, be prayerful, be focused’ and she made sure we went to the best schools. She’d rather sell her jewellery or the last thing she had on her than allow her child go to a public school. I’m happy I have been able to buy her a car. When she dropped us in our hostel then in her 504 and drove off I just screamed free at last and my elder sister was just crying that she would miss her mummy. Me I would dress up and go out, take money from my pocket money to buy jeans to look good. I felt free, happy at last. I intend to marry and still remain in the industry I’m not afraid of marriage. I intend to make it work by being myself, being submissive. I don’t believe because I’m a star on the screen I should be a star at home. I would keep my home away from the public and be a good mother. I want to be happily married and stay in the industry. Olasco and I I respect my marketer because he’s been there for me. If I tell Olasco I need N20m to produce this movie he will give it to me because he believes Funke Akindele can do it, she has it in her but for others if that’s is it then its wrong but for me. I respect the marketers because they are giving us money to produce movies, they are good, when they see a good story, a good producer, they will drop their money. They sell and pay off the producer and I respect them for that. Then as per the car for my mum, my marketer knows one or two motor dealers, I told him I wanted to get my mum a car and he has to give me some money to add to the one I have with me because my money is with him. He still has two or three of my movies that are not yet released. So we called the car dealers and I told them I will drop my own share of the money in their account and Olasco will balance. That was what happened with the issue of the car. I don’t see marketers as God. If we see other people to give us funds they might be the one running after us. Femi Adebayo is just a colleague It is not true that Olasco has stopped using Femi in his movies. It’s a lie, I finished Ijaola three months ago, Femi played the lead role there and Olasco is marketing Ijaola. I have not even met Femi’s wife. I don’t know her, I’ve not met her, we’ve not spoken before. She has not called my phone. Femi and I only have a working relationship. Our relationship is all about j.o.b. Femi is just a friend and colleague. Girls, get educated, stay away from drugs and ‘aristo’ My advice to the young ladies out there “you can use what you have to get what you want” by discovering your talent, the special thing God has given to you and make good use of it to be celebrated. Don’t sleep around, don’t believe in aristo, be focused, get educated and come out in flying colours, stay away from drugs, stay away from sex and if you must do it protect yourself. I want to thank my fans for appreciating me. Without God and my fans there wouldn’t have been Funke Akindele and there won’t be anybody to celebrate Jenifa.
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Friday, April 3, 2009Fashion & Beauty IndexOn the 30th of April 2009, Mrs. Joan Okorodudu, originatorof Nigeria’s Next Super Model, her sponsors and teamwill be previewing the making of The next super model: theNigeria’s Next Super Model story. The 56-episode realityshow will be aired on Quest TV and AIT The same day will alsobe the screening for this year’s Nigeria’s NextSuper Model.“Going by the success so far of the past girls,”says Okorodudu, “ it is no wonder every young girl wantsto become Nigeria’s next super model. Eunice Eyo, BunmiAdemokoya Cynthia Omorodion, Marcia Okhai, Amaka Chira WunmiOgumodede, Isi Atagamen and all the other girls are workingin Johannesburg.The last New York fashion week, both couture and MercedesBenz, saw three models, Bunmi, Isi and Bryan Okwara from IsisModels debut for the first time outside Africa. Bunmi whowas interviewed on fashion TV as Fresh Face also opened forDany Atrache French Lebanese designer who has invited herto Paris during the summer. These models are not only modelingin South Africa they are also in school. Bunmi transferredfrom Obafemi Awolowo University to University of South Africa,where she is still studying law. Isi Atagamen is in Lisofthe prestigious fashion-designing institute”.She said their streak of good fortune began immediately theyarrived in Johannesburg after the show.“No sooner did they get in to South Africa that theywere picked for Johannesburg fashion week. Cynthia also waspicked for the Aglo gold, which she did few days after shearrived Johannesburg. Bryan Okwara has been seen all overon various TV ads for Guinness for Zain. Also, Tony Azimiis the strong man of the Olympic ad for Bank PHB. They areall from Isis models.”She added that Elle magazine delivered on their promise anddid a photo with last year’s winner, Cynthia Omorodion.She believes that This Year’s edition of the show wouldbe the best ever.“Last year Der Spiegel, the largest circulating paperin Europe flew down to Nigeria to do a special on the Edogirls. Out of 16 finalists, there were 6 Edo girls, the winnerand runner-up being from Edo. The standard set at the lastNigeria’s next super model promises to be surpassedthis year.”
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