a (155)
I slept with an average of 7 men in a day
![pix201003133272250[1].jpg](http://odili.net/news/source/2010/mar/13/punch/images/pix201003133272250%5B1%5D.jpg)
When 33 strip dancers were arrested in Lagos recently and their half-nude pictures splashed on the pages of an evening newspaper, not a few people condemned the dancers and the operators of the night club in which they operated.
Agatha
advertisement
But many people seemed to have failed to reckon that the business could not have thriven without patronage from members of the public, or that many of the dancers were forced into the trade by circumstances.
For instance 17-year-old Agatha found herself in prostitution as a result of circumstances beyond her control and she is now full of regrets for the unseemly experience. ''My father had three wives and my mum had three daughters for him. I am the last of the three girls,'' said the Enugu State born girl. ''I lived with my maternal grandmother. Sometime in March last year, I was on my way to my father's house when I was accosted by a lady from my village. She asked me why I wasn't in school.''
The lady, called Mama Ify, lived a distance away from Agatha's father. Believing that Mama Ify was genuinely concerned about her welfare, Agatha explained that she had to stop going to school for lack of funds. ''I didn't go back to school after my JSS III exams because my father had no money. When I said so, she told me she had a sister in Ibadan who sold provisions, and the sister was in need of a sales girl.''
Agatha was overjoyed at the opportunity to escape her life of poverty. After all, there was nothing left for her back at the village except a life of penury and obscurity. ''I couldn't tell my father anything. I knew he would object to my leaving the village, more so when I had to go with someone he didn't know. I just made up my mind that I would leave without telling them.''
On the morning of March 25, 2009, left for Ibadan. ''My grandmother was at home on that day. She asked me where I was going with my clothes, and I told her I was leaving without any plan to come back. She pleaded with me to stay back but I refused.'' Agatha went to meet her new found benefactor at home, anxious to begin a new life. ''Mama Ify told me to go down to the expressway and wait for her there. She said she would join me after a few minutes.''
The motive, of course, was that Agatha's disappearance would never be traced to her. But if Agatha noticed the implication, she certainly wasn't cautious. Leaving the village was uppermost in her mind. ''We boarded a bus to Enugu Park. From there, we took another bus to Onitsha. It was at Onitsha that we took a luxury bus to Ijebu Ode.''
All through the journey, Agatha harboured no fear. For some reason, she implicitly trusted Mama Ify's intentions. ''I asked Mama Ify for her number just in case her sister misbehaved and I wanted to return to my village. She obliged me and confided that her daughter was ill and badly in need of a surgical operation. She said she was actually going to get some money from her sister and decided to get her a sales girl in return.
"When we got to Ijebu Ode, Mama Ify called her sister to tell her that we were around. They arranged to meet us. We took another bus and stopped under a bridge.''
It was at that location that Mama ify's sister came to meet them in company with a man in his forties. Agatha's new guardian was introduced as Madam Best. She was to learn later that her male companion was called Akin, Madam Best's boyfriend. Almost as soon as introductions were over, Mama Ify excused herself, claiming she had to travel back to the village immediately, because her sick daughter needed her. ''She assured me I was in safe hands and to call her if anything went wrong,'' Agatha said.
Agatha parted ways with Mama Ify unaware that the money supposedly borrowed from Madam Best was in fact payment for slave labour. ''I took a bike with my new boss while Mama Ify boarded a bus back to Enugu. At a point, we stopped, took a bus and alighted at one filling station in Ibadan. I couldn't really say exactly where we were because that was my first time of travelling to Ibadan," she said.
The trio walked a short distance to a hotel that was being renovated. The hotel was in a bushy area. It was quite isolated. ''Madam Best and her male companion asked me what I wanted for lunch. I told them I wasn't hungry. They later went away to get a room.''
Minutes later, Agatha was ushered into what would be her new home. ''They called me into a room and said I would live there. I was so surprised. I asked Madam Best if she herself lived in the hotel.''
It was at that point that Agatha learnt the ugly truth. ''She (Madam Best) asked me if Mama Ify didn't tell me what I would be doing in Ibadan. I told her she said I would work as a sales girl in Madam Best's provision store. It was then Madam Best told me I was in Ibadan to work as a prostitute.''
Terrified, Agatha broke down in tears and pleaded with her captors to call Mama Ify on the phone. Her request was declined and instead, she was told to repay the money that was used in transporting her from Enugu to Ibadan. ''When I kept crying, Akin threatened to kill me with a knife. I was locked up for three days. I was given neither food nor drink. Madam best said if I so much wanted to eat, I should sell my body and feed myself.'' On March 28, 2009, desperate for food, the terrified teenager gave in to her captors' demand. Even at that, she had to be beaten with a shoe into final submission. ''I had to sleep with about six or seven men every day. I was never paid anything. All the men paid the money to Madam Best. I was only fed thrice daily.'' With the increasing scourge of HIV sweeping across society, one wonders if Agatha had not contacted any STD. Fortunately, she was able to allay fears on that matter. "All the men that slept with me used protection." Agatha continued in her despised profession for about a month and a half. She couldn't leave her room, so she remained a prisoner there. None of her male patrons ever saw in her the reluctant and terrified child yearning for freedom. She was simply a thing of entertainment.
It wasn't until May 23, 2009 that respite finally came from the most unlikely person. ''There was a boy called Saidi who played music at the hotel every Sunday. One day, he came in with his friend Wale, who demanded for me. When we were alone in my room, I started crying.''
It was the 23-year-old man who eventually offered Agatha a ray of hope. ''He asked me what the problem was and I told him everything. He was really sympathetic and promised to help. He left and came back with a trouser and a top.'' The young man went further to speak with the hotel manager, Alashe. ''Wale told Alashe that he would be spending the night with me.''
Alashe threatened to harm Wale if Agatha should disappear overnight. Perhaps the unscrupulous businessman had smelt a rat. Recalling that eventful night, Agatha said, ''We both couldn't sleep that night. I was very scared, even Wale was scared too. Later, I dozed off. At about 3am, Wale woke me up. He said he had to start going.''
Luckily for both of them, no one stirred while they made good their escape. There was even no fence; just the eeriness of the surrounding bushes. ''We ran until we came to a music studio close to the road and waited there till 5 am. We flagged down the first bike that came our way. The bike took us to Ekiti bus stop. From there, we took a bus to lloro, Ekiti State. It was around 12 mid day when we got there.''
To avoid being tracked by Alashe, Wale took Agatha to his father's house instead of going straight to his brother's home where he normally lived. On their way, they stopped by a stream so Agatha could wash her clothes. ''I had just finished with my washing when Wale's sister- in -law came to inform us that Saidi was with a friend at Wale's brother's house. Both men had come from Ibadan.'' Understandably, Wale was scared to go back. And even when Agatha urged him to do so, he refused. While they were still debating the issue, Wale's brother sent another person to call them. ''I told Wale that I wasn't scared. Since I was no more in that hotel, I knew I could confront whoever it was that had come for me. I was finally able to convince Wale that we should go back.''
They discovered on their arrival that it was Akin that had been sent to bring back Agatha to Ibadan. ''They quarreled for a while in Yoruba. I didn't understand a word of what they were saying. When they had reached an agreement, Akin told everyone that had gathered that I was his sister and Madam Best my mother. He told them Wale had taken me without permission from my mother.''
Seeing her chance at freedom fleeing before her very eyes, Agatha wept profusely, denying Akin's claims. Unfortunately, instead of investigating the matter further, those gathered urged Agatha to go back home with Akin. ''They were all telling me to go back to Ibadan and settle with Akin, that I could come back to lloro after I had done that.'' All this while, Wale did not say a word. He had been sufficiently threatened by Akin.
At this point, Agatha made up her mind to frustrate Akin. ''I decided I wasn't going to make it easy for him to ruin me. When we got to the bus stop, Akin negotiated the price while Wale looked on. When I saw Akin was distracted, I ran. Akin ran after me and caught me. He warned me not to attempt an escape.'' No onlooker bothered to question Agatha on why she tried to run away from Akin. ''Akin got another bus and started haggling afresh. When his eyes were not on me, I ran again. This time, I ran across the street straight into a provision store.''
Agatha held on to the lady store keeper, begging her for help. ''The woman was alarmed and by the time Akin ran into the store, she was terrified." The lady fled her store with Agatha holding on to her for dear life. The struggle continued until the storekeeper's husband stopped them all. ''When he started questioning us all, I burst into tears. Akin quickly intervened and gave his already prepared story of me being his sister. He said all this in Yoruba.'' Fortunately for Agatha, the storekeeper's husband took more than a passing interest in the whole drama. ''He asked me what the problem was and I told him everything. Luckily for me, he was also from Enugu State.''
They were invited back into the store, presumably to settle the matter but unknown to them the police had been notified. ''Two men came in some minutes later and asked us all to explain ourselves. When I finished my tale, they mentioned trafficking and held on to Akin. It was at that point I realised they were policemen.''
They were all taken to Iloro police station. The police tried to mediate in the matter but the store keeper's husband was adamant that Akin and his accomplices be prosecuted. On June 1, 2009, they were moved to the state CID in Ekiti State. ''We spent 10 days there. After our first week there, the police raided the hotel where I used to live. All the girls were taken away. Madam Best usually stayed at Queen's Rema Hotel but I couldn't direct the police there. I only knew the name. It was an Okada operator that directed us there. The police had to check each hotel on that street one after the other because I couldn't identify the particular one.''
As it turned out, Madam Best was not around, so the hotel owner's wife was arrested. ''We couldn't get the owner of the hotel. He was called Alhaji. The police told his boys that if Alhaji wanted his wife out of police custody, he should aid them in tracking down Madam Best. '' Madam Best was caught on the day she tried to flee the town to Benin, Edo state.
Head of the Lagos Zonal office of NAPTIP Godwin Morka said the matter was in court and efforts were being made to reunite Agatha with her family through the NAPTIP zonal office in the East. ''It was the Ekiti state CID that brought Agatha to NAPTIP. She was very much traumatised when she was handed over to us. We had to put her through counselling and some medical treatments.
"Parents have to be more careful and watchful of their children. Young girls can be so easily deceived and recruited into prostitution, especially when they are not highly enlightened
AKEEM LASISI
A documentary film by award-winning filmmaker, Femi Odugbemi, directs attention to threatened Yoruba praise poetry, Oriki, writes AKEEM LASISI
![pix201003170545590[1].jpg](http://odili.net/news/source/2010/mar/17/punch/images/pix201003170545590%5B1%5D.jpg)
As the tape rolls over, prolific chanter, Suleman Ayilara, popularly called Ajobiewe, zooms into view with his gripping voice. The artist that has navigated the length and breath of Yoruba theatre and film industry relishes opening his performances with homage chants and invocation on his Ila Orangun, Osun State root. In Oriki, however, he begins by singing the oriki of the Elese lineage.
By the choice of the artist who released an album titled Oriki Yoruba about two years ago, the producer and director, Femi Odugbemi, is able to capture the viewers' attention while also registering the import of the documentary. And while the didactic essence of the documentary is sustained throughout its about 25-minute duration, it is such dramatic interjection that keeps the viewer waiting for more even at the end of it.
As compact as it is, for instance, celebrated Yoruba actors such as Lere Paimo, Kola Oyewo and Peter Fatomilola, are made to play different roles to buttress the exposition that Odugbemi's resource persons offer on oriki, the Yoruba praise poetry, in the film. Among the most memorable scenes here is the one in which Paimo, otherwise called Eda Onileola, dances grandly to portray the overall concern of the researcher in the film - the desire to save African culture from unbridled westernisation.
The work is predicated on the fact that among the Yoruba and a lot of other cultures across Africa, a name is more than a means of differentiating one person from another. It is a serious and time-honoured means of giving a newborn child an identity. Amongst Yoruba families, a name communicates the rich, colourful and vibrant heritage and history of families. It also informs their hopes and aspirations for the newborn. Oriki is the oral Yoruba poetry chanted in salute of history and heritage often reaching back hundreds of years.
Globalisation trends have led to the blurring of borderlines, geographically and culturally. "Indigenous cultures are dissolving, clearing the way for one unified global phenomenon. Increasing urban shifts and a strong emphasis on global compliance have left important aspects of cultural identities under attack. And as more people adopt western ways of thinking and understanding, the threat of extinction becomes more glaring, more imminent, more inevitable," the producer asserts in an introduction to the documentary.
As Odugbemi's resource persons, which include writer and actor, Adebayo Faleti, culture scholar and promoter at the University of Ibadan, Prof. Adetoun Ogundeji, and a legal practitioner, Mr. Dele Farotimi, note in the documentary, Oriki has serves multiple purposes among the Yoruba. Apart from being a piece of poetry that excites and inspires the hearer, it harbours cultural and historical information about the person or community being celebrated. They identify four major types of Oriki - the one for individuals, one for prominent people like kings, one for a particular lineage and one for communities or towns.
According to Ogundeji, the Oriki usually reflects the circumstance of one's birth. It reflects the heroic deeds of one's forebears, just as it may indicate their weaknesses as well.
"Ãn Yorubaland, you don't just give names to children," Ogundeji says. "The elders would, in those days, consult the heritage as represented by Ifa. And in the case of oriki orile, it reflects connection between various families of the same lineage but who live in different towns."
Although Odugbemi secures another commentator who expresses grave concerns over fetish tendencies he locates in some elements of oriki, his sources are generally passionate about the orature. In the case of Farotimi, he recalls how he gives his children names that relate to his family chain, as exemplified by his naming a daughter of his Igbayilola, an invocation of his mother's name.
He notes, "When people say our names are demonic, I remind them that the English names many of them give their children have meanings they don't seem to know. 'Diana', is, for instance, actually the name of a goddess."
They all fear that westernisation is fast eroding the Oriki phenomenon, but Odugbemi cites a little hope in the fact that some modern musicians have begun to experiment with the praise forms in their works.
On the making of the documentary, he explains that his choice of the resource persons is based on those who not only have a deep knowledge of it, but also feel strongly that it should not die. "One thing about a documentary is that it must be based on facts. That is why your research must double-check facts because the preponderance of opinions must be in favour of the stated facts."
Odugbemi's exploits as a documentary film producer has been recognised in many places. Another recent work titled Bariga Boys is on the nomination list of the African Movie Academy Awards for 2010. In terms of what motivates him to work in this area, he says the need to spread information and preserve heritage is paramount. As a result, he adds, he often gives the documentary films to television houses to air. Ãt is more of a labour of love than anything," Odugbemi says.
He pretends to be a nice guy who would readily offer a free ride to a willing female. But he’s actually a criminal whose ploy is to rob his victims. Olalekan Kazeem is currently telling police detectives in Lagos why he’s been going about the city robbing women of their personal effects. He was arrested by the police after one of his victims sighted him in Lagos. He is currently cooling his heels in a police cell, awaiting his date with the law.
Khadijat Ope was one of his victims. Her ordeal happened on a hot, sunny Saturday in Ikorodu, a Lagos suburb.
That day, she had waited without success for a commercial bus to take her to Victoria Island. Just as the she was contemplating calling a cab, a private car, a Toyota Camry, stopped and the driver offered her a ride.
The young man driving the car, later identified as Olalekan Kazeem, said he too was going to the island but that he had already missed his way.
The 23-year old student, who had gone to collect her West African Examination Council (WAEC) result, promised to guide the man.
Few minutes into their journey, Kazeem pretended that the car had developed some fault and stopped.
After alighting and examining the car, Kazeem implored the girl to assist him in pushing the car. The unsuspecting girl dropped her bag inside the car and climbed out. In the bag were her handset, some money, her identity card, a WAEC certificate and two ATM cards. But as soon as she came out of the car, Kazeem started the engine and zoomed off with Ope’s belongings.
That was not all. Through the girl’s data on her birth certificate in her bag, Kazeem got the password for the girl’s ATM card and promptly cleared her account at the First Bank.
Khadijat wasn’t the only victim. Kazeem also employed the same method to rob another lady, Jennifer Chizoba, of the sum of N150, 000 and other personal effects.
Chizoba, who spoke with Daily Sun said: “When the man picked me, he stopped on the road, saying that his vehicle was bad. He begged me to assist him in pushing the car. While I was pushing the car, the man zoomed off with my bag containing N150,000 which my relatives contributed for me to set up a business.”
Many other girls have been similarly defrauded by Kazeem. But luck recently ran out on the man who has for long made life unbearable for his victims. He’s now cooling his heels in a police cell.
Kazeem, who is currently singing like a bird at the Alapere police station was arrested when one of the victims sighted him at a car wash at the Alapere area and called in the police. He was subsequently picked up.
Recovered from him were five female handbags, 28 ATM cards, 12 identity cards, four national ID cards, two voters registration card, a Joint Matriculation Examination result, and other items.
The suspect who claimed he only targeted women told Daily Sun that he decided to start robbing them because he had earlier been robbed by a woman.
He said his journey into crime began in November last year. According to him, somebody had given him the sum of N160,000 to keep on trust at the Eko Le Meridien Hotel, Lagos.
Said he: “That day, I decided to eat at the Ocean View Restaurant. As I was eating, two beautiful young girls appeared from the blues. I approached one of them and I even paid her bill of N2, 500. I also bought drinks for them.”
‘Why I rob only women’
In his words, trouble started for him when he was fondling the breasts of one of the girls. According to him, he was sucking the girl’s breast when he slept off. He regained consciousness the following day, he said, adding that the girl might have coated her breast with a sleep-inducing drug.
While he slept, he said, the girl searched his pockets and collected all the money. She was also alleged to have taken his car keys and stole the N160, 000 inside the car.
According to him, the man who gave him the money on trust did not believe the story even after he had explained what happened and ordered Kazeem detained for a week at a police station in Abeokuta, Ogun state.
“My real predicament started when my wife came to visit me at the police station and a policeman told her how I sucked a prostitute’s breast. My wife could not take the insult, so she abandoned me to my fate.”
After his release, Kazeem said he decided to avenge his humiliation on any woman he came across. “Any time I pick a woman, I derive immense pleasure in dealing with her. I regard all my victims as prostitutes because a responsible woman would not be looking for a free ride with a total stranger,” he informed.
Kazeem has a word of advice for ladies. “They should stop looking for free ride with strangers. They should try to patronize registered taxis.”
The 37-year old Abeokuta indigene begged those he had offended to forgive him but said they should thank God that he had no gun when he was perpetrating the act as he would have used it on them.
Another victim, a model, Cynthia Kodu said the man had also applied the same method to rob her of her handbag containing handsets, N18, 000, underwear and make-up.
Lagos state police spokesman, Mr. Frank Mba said preliminary investigations have shown that the man has robbed over 30 female victims.
Mba, who said the man would soon be charged to the court, warned members of the public to stop patronizing unregistered taxis. “They should go to the recognized taxi parks to board taxis,” he said.
Have you ever found yourself in a relationship where the
frustration level and the number of times you butt heads with each
other seems to increase by the second? You say blue, she says red, and
the fights just seem to be going in circles.
If the answer is yes, then you may be at what I call "the breakup point."
Here are five signs that your relationship may be past the point of
fixing. Whether you are living together, married, or just dating, these
breakup signs are usually loud and clear.
1. You stop relationship-building behaviors. In the
honeymoon stage of a relationship, which we all know is the first 90
days of pure bliss, you are learning about each other and making
efforts to create romantic moods and nice evenings. When you're in that
stage, you are really working at building your relationship. Then, at
some point, you start to butt heads with each other. Critical
relationship elements deteriorate. Maybe you stop kissing each other
goodbye or stop texting each other during the day. Instead of adding
things to the relationship, you start to resent each other like two
five-year-olds who stop sharing their crayons. This is a breakup
point.
2. You don't understand each other anymore. The fighting escalates
to a place where you no longer feel like you're understood by your
partner. Physical intimacy stops, communication stops, and you are
living like roommates. You're at the point in the relationship where
you are trying to understand each other, but you get so frustrated
because you feel like you just don't understand each other anymore.
This is a breakup point.
3. You start punishing each other. When you get to the
point of no longer understanding each other, what happens is that you
end up just kind of coexisting in the new dynamic. Resentment builds
and you get in your head too much. You are no longer about feelings,
and you start punishing each other. "Well, he hasn't done this for me,
so I'm not going to do this for him" are the kind of thoughts that take
root. The longer you stay in that dynamic and the further away you get
from the dynamic you had during the early part of the relationship, the
less likely it is that you'll ever get it back (and, after a point, you
won't). You have hit the breakup point.
4. You fight less. When you get to the breakup point, you
actually fight less with your partner. You fight less because in your
mind and heart you start detaching yourself from the other person, and
you don't care as much anymore. You have already made a determination
that they don't understand you, that they will never understand you,
and that the relationship just won't work out. The minute you get into
a fight, you just walk away from it. That is a sure sign that you are
at the breakup point.
5. You've taken the time to think it through. When you
think you might have hit that breakup point, you must tell the person
that you're disconnecting from them. You need to be honest and raw. If
you don't think the relationship is going to work, or you know you've
already disconnected based on how things have been going, then you
might want to consider walking away for a week. When you're in the
thick of things, they never seem to be able to work out.
So take a break. Spend a week without your partner. Take the week to ask
yourself some questions. Go visit some friends or family. Really think
about what life would be like without that person. How would you feel?
Then, go back and either take a stand for the relationship or break
up.
Whichever decision you make, you need to be honest with yourself. Life is too short! There are a lot of
wonderful, amazing people out there ready to meet you.
His genre of music was refreshingly different, so was the lyrics, simple and uncomplicated. His name is Chris Okotie and he came with a new swagger that was uncommon with the music industry of the 80s.
Apart from his music, he led the revolution that introduced solo career and almost extinguished band music, a feature that was common in that era. His debut album, I Need Someone, not only took the industry by storm, it also redefined the music industry.
Pastor Chris-Okotie
Thirty years after, Chris who has since become a fisherman for Christ opens up on his life as a secular musician. It ‘s explosive an
We hear that your ministry will be 23 years old this month….
In fact today. We started our church, the Household of God Ministry on February 1, 1987. So, we are actually 23 years old today. We have started a programme to mark the anniversary and it will run through the month.
How has the journey been?
The journey has been that of grace. I think that is the best way to put it. The journey has been that of mercy of the faithfulness of the Almighty God, the plenitude of His grace. I think that is just the way to put it. It has been grace, grace all the way.
In retrospect, how did you arrive at where you are today?
(Laughs) There are two systems of life on earth—the physical and the spiritual and most of the time when we are not aware we, live only in the physical system but when a man confronts the spiritual world, he recognises that it is actually the spiritual system that is more authentic than the physical one.
It is in the spiritual that we come recognise what God has done for us by way of salvation—sending Jesus to die for us. And when I heard the gospel, I recognised the need to adjust to the spiritual reality of man and that by accepting Jesus as our Lord and Saviour. Which was what I did in 1983.
Were you running away from something then?
Not at all! If people think that I stopped playing music because I became a Christian, it is the wrong order. I stopped playing music before I became a Christian. That is what happened. I had already made up my mind that I have had enough of music and decided to go back to school and pursue my law degree and it was in the process that I got saved.
How did your music career start?
We have been musical in our family. My father really liked music and he used to sing a lot and I think I got that from him.
Just like sister Loraine. He wasn’t a professional singer but he was into music, singing at home and sometimes he would get his friends together and they would do their music thing; that’s how I used to call it then. They had their music thing going.
I think I got the music gift from him. I used to belong to the music band in those days at Edo College where we were doing thongs from James Brown and others of that time. My father didn’t like that because he felt that getting into music would take you away from your academic work and the seriousness needed for you to become a success. So, he was very opposed to that. But by 1979 when he died and coming from a polygamous family, I knew we had to fend for ourselves and the only thing I knew I could outside of going to school was music.
So, I went to the studio on my own, did a little work with some friends of mine which became my demo, which I brought to Lagos to show Mr. Odion Iruoje who was the most promising producers of the time. He was Decca at the time but later moved to Phonodisk. He heard my work at the time and told me that when the company was ready to take on new artistes he would get in touch with me.
And he did. So, by 1980, he came to meet me on campus and told me he had arranged with BLO, one of my favourite bands at the time, to do my backup for me. That’s how we came to Lagos and in 10 days we had done every thing and it was fantastic.
And where did you get your inspiration from?
It is difficult to say. Let me put it this way, I believe that everything I did in music was ordained by God and I tried to mess it up just like Adam tried to mess up God’s work originally. He accepted the course for my life but wanted to use music to bring me to the place of visibility for the work He had called me to do.
Because you see, you are ordained by God before you are born, like He told Jeremiah, ‘Before I formed you in your mother’s womb, I knew you, I ordained you a prophet to the nations.’
Pastor Chris
So, He gave me that ability because He recognised that I would need it to come yo a place of visibility where I would be known and on that platform begin the work of the gospel. And from there build to a place of political leadership. So, I found myself driven, not just by the circumstances, because I could sustain myself even if I didn’t do the music. But I felt compelled to do the music and the music came to me.
I remember the song, I Need Someone, I heard one afternoon when I was sleeping during my siesta period on campus. Somebody was singing it and I got up and I recorded it. I will not call myself the inspired artistes who seats down and starts to contemplate the circumstances or picks up inspiration from them. Mine is slightly different. It comes to me, almost already packaged even till tomorrow.
Even the songs I do in church now and things like that. That’s the way it has always been. Every time I try to do myself, I find that I just can’t. But most artistic people can always seat down and say, let me go and write a song…but I have never been able to do that.
It has to come and once it comes the melody, then I start to work on the lyrics to try to find out the message behind the lyrics.
I knew someone, something going to change my life completely forever and it took me a while to decide on it.
And I always knew it has something to do with God even though I was not a believer then. When He eventually spoke to me the night I got saved He mentioned to me that He had done it all, and I knew He did. There were human excesses involved but the substance and inspiration were definitely of Him.
You came into the music scene when there were music bands doing their thing. You didn’t have a band and you chose the medium of pop when every other persons were doing something different—soul and what have you. Why?
That is why I am saying that He wanted to make me visible, because if I belonged to a band, I would have been like may be OFEGE or BLO and all that but He wanted my name because that is what He wanted to use. He wanted to use Chris Okotie as a name, because that is what He wanted to use. Sometimes, people think it is one name, the way they call me.
He wanted to use that name to achieve His own purpose here in this country and so, He didn’t want me to belong to a band. He arranged it Himself and that’s why He used Mr. Odion Iruoje and He organised and orchestrated the whole process.
The kind of songs, they were very simple but very melodious songs. They didn’t really have too much of a meaning to me then. But, I believe that anything I would have done at that time would have been successful because that was how God ordained it to be…for a purpose beyond me. It wasn’t for me, but for Him. And so when He was ready He came to claim what belonged to Him.
Please confirm the story that you actually used your producer’s jacket.
(Laughs) Yes! You know; because I was student at the time and I didn’t really have a lot of clothes because my father died and we didn’t have a lot of money.
So, Mr. Iruoje actually gave me that coat which I ended up giving to Felix Lebarty because he also was holding on to it in one of his works. I had friends then, Jide Obi, Felix Lebarty and a few other people who were close to me and I always wanted them involved in anything I was doing. Mr. Iruoje and I became friends. I discovered him to very sincere, upright, principled and those qualities appealed to me.
How were those days?
Very simple days! When I look back now, what I can recollect is the simplicity of the Nigerian society. The fact that people just accepted you for who you are and there was almost that universal fidelity; some kind of trust people had.
The suspicion that we have today wasn’t there. The WAZOBIA divide we have today wasn’t there and so you the liberty to leave in any part of this country. People loved you for what you could do, not your tribe or religion or something. It was very wonderful.
The acceptance was universal and almost overnight. Completely unbelievable. I remember, Mr. Iruoje took me somewhere when I came to Lagos about a month after the release of I Need Someone, and we were close to the School of Nursing in the Island and somebody recognised me and in five minutes barely all the windows were openly and they were all playing my music. I had to leave that place because I was so embarrassed. I hadn’t seen anything like it since then.
It wasn’t just about the music. It was just a kindred thing. It was as I was related to a people and that is the way some people relate to me since then. They get so personal about things that affect me. Somebody once wrote: “You can’t ignore Chris Okotie, you either love him passionately or you hate him passionately.” And I think that’s the way it has been with people. You have to take a stand when it comes to Chris Okotie!
How much did you make from I Need Someone?
I can’t recollect, but it was a lot of money. I was very rich particularly with my first two records because I became the highest paid artiste in the country at that time in terms of royalty and everything. And it is all thanks to Mr. Iruoje because he organised all that for me, but I was young and reckless and I spent the money without thinking…went to all kinds of places in the world.
I could afford anything I wanted. I think that it was also part of God’s plan that I would earn money on my own and loose respect for it, because it is important that as a minister of the gospel you don’t respect money. And I do not mean that you don’t put any value to it; you control it, you don’t allow it to control you. And that is why you can be become generous, because I have had so much money in my life that it is very easy for me to give it out.
It is very easy for me to do so, because from an age, it wasn’t money given to me by my parents or anybody. I remember when I went for a performance at Owerri and I was told that what the organisers had charged was too much for the young people to pay.
So, I called my manager to bring my brief case and I gave out the money they had just paid me for the performance so that the people could come in for the show. It was easy for me to do then and that is what I still do till now. But I think God wanted to use that to teach me to be generous, because when you know that what you have is given to you not because of anything…there are a lot of people who could do these things that I do.
But I haven’t been that blessed. It just helps me to see that money is a means to an end and not an end in itself. I’m happy with or without money. Money doesn’t determine what I do, it doesn’t determine the state of my mind or heart or my joy. It is freedom, because that is greatest power on earth—the power of money and I have been liberated from it.
You lived on the fast lane because money came when you were extremely young. When you look back now, do you believe that if God didn’t intervene at the time He did, the worst may have happened?
There is no doubt that if it were not for the divine intervention, I could have killed myself. No doubt about it because there were situations that I put myself into but the deliverance of God came in. When you have that kind of money and you have no parental guidance, no control…outside of Mr. Iruoje there was really nobody else who had enough wisdom to talk to me about the lifestyle I was leading.
Another thing that saved me was that, I am an introvert of some sort. They used to call me the hermit. If I were to be an extrovert, I probably would have exposed myself to more danger. I was always indoors. People came to me. I didn’t go to them, so it reduced the risk involved. I lived in that hotel for over a year.
It was the best hotel in the country at the time and I had friends—men and women who came to me, but the Lord still used that to prepare me for what I do now, in the sense that there is really nothing that I haven’t seen; that I haven’t done more or less.
So, the contentment that I have seen it all and I have come to a place of contentment and I am satisfied, totally and completely satisfied with the life I have today. Because, I have recognised that none of those things can give you happiness and when I met Jesus I recognised what I was searching for all my life, peace and contentment.
What are you referring to as ‘those things’?
The worldly acquisitions that we have; whether it is money or property. They make you comfortable, no doubt but they don’t give you joy and happiness because there is a void in the heart of everybody that God had placed there and until that void is filled with the love of God you will keep searching and craving.
Inordinate ambition is not man’s desire to just accumulate wealth, it is because he had no other choice. He is so empty within himself, so he thinks that as continues the journey of self aggrandizement and acquisition that he would find the balance of peace and joy; but he never does. The journey is futility, until he comes in contact with God through Christ Jesus.
Was there anything you did that you regret today?
Oh! Nearly everything I did I regretted. (Laugh) Recklessness. Basically, things that were done under the influence of alcohol which what a lot of young people do today under the influence of drugs. I was very fortunate that I didn’t get into drugs.
Can you list some of those things?
I’m too ashamed of them. They are not a testimony. Let me put it this way, the way of the transgressor is hard. (Laugh) There is a way that seemest right unto man, the end thereof is destruction. That is what I can tell you, because when you are young, your appreciation of life is so superficial. But for the love of God, there is no way I would have made it.
Did you do drugs?
Not at all! I knew I didn’t have the head. Even to smoke a cigarette was so difficult because anytime I smoked one I became dizzy, so there was no way I could have taken anything more than cigarette because I didn’t have the constitution for it. But, I drank! Out of burden, I drank beer or whatever. That is all I did.
Women?
Oh! Naturally, because I was a recording artiste and I was popular you meet a lot of girls and even boys who want to be friends with you and the reckless abandon and the characteristic of that age particularly when you have the additional comfort of money.
For some people, it is like that is the kind of life I want to live but if you look what goes on even in Hollywood and you see the level decadence and the depravity that is there; many times they lead to death—premature death. So, I thank God for His salvation.
Why did you abandon the music if it was a divine vehicle to something greater?
I haven’t. It is just a hiatus! You cannot abandon that stuff like that. It is part of you for the rest of your life. It is just that it is not necessary now. My music is still there. It is just that what I do now is just within the local assembly for now. It is an artistic gift that you have that is eternal.
You don’t believe that gospel music is a better tool of evangelism?
Yes! But when you are servant of God there is timing to everything that you do. The time hasn’t come. When that time comes we will do gospel music.
Will you say you made the right choice in marrying Stephanie?
Absolutely. I have always said that marriage is a personal decision. There’s perfect marriage; both of you have to take the time and work out your salvation with fear and trembling.
But I love the woman unconditionally. Marriage is not about what the woman feels for me; it is what I feel for her. It’s easy for people to love me because of the kind of a man that I am. When I talk love, I say I love her because that is the most important thing.
I think it is one of the best decisions that I have made in my entire life and I thank God for it.
A British dating website revealed on Tuesday that half of the unfaithful men it polled for a survey on affairs admitted to having a fling with a friend's wife or girlfriend. The poll conducted by British internet dating company www.benaughty.com showed that of the
more than 5,000 men it surveyed who admitted to being unfaithful, a staggering 46.9 percent said they had had a fling with a friend's wife or girlfriend.
"It's a remarkable figure and well above what we would have thought," benaughty.com Marketing Manager Sean Wood said in a statement.
"Attractions develop very easily between men and women who see each other often, in the same circles. And it is often easier to be together without arousing any suspicions."
The survey was conducted amid a frenzy of tabloid newspaper reporting on former England soccer captain John Terry.
Terry was stripped of the captaincy after allegations in the British media that he had had an extra-marital affair with the former girlfriend of England team mate Wayne Bridge, who was a club mate of his at Chelsea before joining Manchester City last year.
Between February 5 and 14, a total of 5,512 men looking for discreet relationships were asked three questions:
Have you ever had a relationship with your friend's wife or partner?
Yes: 46.9 percent No: 53.1 percent.
Did you get caught?
Yes: 7.84 percent No: 92.16 percent
Did you confess?
Yes: 8.25 percent No: 91.75 percent.
“Computers are transforming work, and in some cases, lives.” (Kiesler, Siegel,& McGuire, 1994, p. 1123) Second Life’s media characteristics have transformed the norms for social networking. While participating in Second Life’s virtual work, you can communicate in a format similar to face-to-face with others. You can do this by having normal flowing conversations and having the resources available to use nonverbal cues, such as
waving, shaking your head or even blowing kisses. These attributes make Second Life high in media richness. While face-to-face interaction is at the top of the list in order of media richness, the researchers that made the media richness descriptions probably did not even imagine the new phenomenon of Second Life. “In Traditional forms of communication, head nods, smiles, eye contact, distance, tone of voice, and other nonverbal behavior give speakers and listeners information they can use to regulate, modify, and control exchanges.” (Kiesler, Siegel, &McGuire, 1995, 1125) Second Life has the capabilities that normal face-to-face communication has, including immediate responses and the use of non verbal cues, which in some cases is immediately responsive as well. For example, when you type in goodbye in Second Life, it automatically waves goodbye to the person you were communicating with.
Self-presentation also has a place within social networks. In Second Life you are creating a thought out image, which may be intended to attract a certain demographic or get a certain response to your image. The option to ‘edit’ yourself is also something that could be taken into consideration, even though your real self might not resemble your Second Life self, you have the option to choose what your Second Life self looks like, and that shows a bit about you, the user. Facebook, which is another social network which we will be comparing Second Life to, you make your own page for all of your friends to see. With this you can premeditated the responses you give, only showing a certain side of yourself that you want others to see, what you think will attract others to becoming your friend.
Comparing these to social networks, there are many differences. Second Life has become a sub-world, there are the options to travel to places, watch sporting events, purchase goods, go to libraries, and seek employment opportunities at a select number of businesses that are in the real world as well. Where Facebook is a social network more geared towards meeting people through profiles, combined groups and a common school or location.
The advantages of Second life compared to Facebook are geared more towards social aspects. Second Life lets you meet people from all over the world, you can see differences in the language being used, the groups others have joined and sometimes even with the difference of clothing being worn. Because Facebook started as a social network where the prerequisite was a college e-mail, it seems the majority of Facebook users are college-aged, who live in the United States. Second Life, as the title describes, can be a double life from your own, this means that there are things to ‘do’ on the network, the network is programmed to make the user interact with the site as well as communicate with others.
The advantages we stated can also be reviewed in a negative way. On Second Life you do not have to option to ‘browse’ for people that would be geographically close to you, you meet people from all over the world but do not have the option to just seek people that are closer by. Facebook lets you search for people, so you can find people that you go to school with, or look for people that you have things in common with. Because of this, you have a better chance of meeting someone through Facebook and continuing that relationship outside of the social network rather than you do with Second Life. Another disadvantage that comes up with second life is that you do not have privacy from other users, anyone can come up to you and start talking to you, saying whatever they please, whether it be appropriate or not, Facebook lets you have the privacy settings in your control.
While the two have very different aspects of social networking, they have joined together and there is now a Beta application available that integrates your Second Life profile into Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/apps/application.php?id=10242435556). This allows Second Life users to find other Second Life users based upon region and other information, combining both worlds. It also allows you to add your Second Life character to your friend list, and add your real friends Second Life characters as to it as well.
Self-presentation also has a place within social networks. In Second Life you are creating a thought out image, which may be intended to attract a certain demographic or get a certain response to your image. The option to ‘edit’ yourself is also something that could be taken into consideration, even though your real self might not resemble your Second Life self, you have the option to choose what your Second Life self looks like, and that shows a bit about you, the user. Facebook, which is another social network which we will be comparing Second Life to, you make your own page for all of your friends to see. With this you can premeditated the responses you give, only showing a certain side of yourself that you want others to see, what you think will attract others to becoming your friend.
Comparing these to social networks, there are many differences. Second Life has become a sub-world, there are the options to travel to places, watch sporting events, purchase goods, go to libraries, and seek employment opportunities at a select number of businesses that are in the real world as well. Where Facebook is a social network more geared towards meeting people through profiles, combined groups and a common school or location.
The advantages of Second life compared to Facebook are geared more towards social aspects. Second Life lets you meet people from all over the world, you can see differences in the language being used, the groups others have joined and sometimes even with the difference of clothing being worn. Because Facebook started as a social network where the prerequisite was a college e-mail, it seems the majority of Facebook users are college-aged, who live in the United States. Second Life, as the title describes, can be a double life from your own, this means that there are things to ‘do’ on the network, the network is programmed to make the user interact with the site as well as communicate with others.
The advantages we stated can also be reviewed in a negative way. On Second Life you do not have to option to ‘browse’ for people that would be geographically close to you, you meet people from all over the world but do not have the option to just seek people that are closer by. Facebook lets you search for people, so you can find people that you go to school with, or look for people that you have things in common with. Because of this, you have a better chance of meeting someone through Facebook and continuing that relationship outside of the social network rather than you do with Second Life. Another disadvantage that comes up with second life is that you do not have privacy from other users, anyone can come up to you and start talking to you, saying whatever they please, whether it be appropriate or not, Facebook lets you have the privacy settings in your control.
While the two have very different aspects of social networking, they have joined together and there is now a Beta application available that integrates your Second Life profile into Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/apps/application.php?id=10242435556). This allows Second Life users to find other Second Life users based upon region and other information, combining both worlds. It also allows you to add your Second Life character to your friend list, and add your real friends Second Life characters as to it as well.
Olliance will be running a series of CEO Interviews throughout the year. I sat down with Brian Gentile, CEO of Jaspersoft ( www.jaspersoft.com ), to get his thoughts on Open Source software and current market trends. This is the first in a two part series with Brian where he shares his thoughts.
Part 1: A discussion on open source today – challenges and learnings for commercial Open Source vendors and customer CIOs.
Miriam – Some analysts believe 2010 will be a year of explosive growth for Open Source. What are your thoughts on the 2010?
Brian – Gartner recently issued an open source business intelligence report forecasting a 5-fold increase in the next three years. 2010 will be the third consecutive year where there will have been large jumps in the successful use of open source products; so yes, I am bullish about the up-coming year.
Above the infrastructure layer, more than ever open source will become necessary – more than acceptable . . . expected, mainstream and validated. It is important to distinguish between open source as an underlying infrastructure layer and the layers of software above that are more application like. This marks an important transition in the adoption and use of open source software.
Miriam – So you think that the Open Source B.I. space has moved out of the early adopter stage and is now moving to the top of the curve from a Crossing the Chasm perspective?
Brian – I would say it is early majority – it has crossed the chasm and is now in the early majority. That’s important socio-graphically, because now not just “Type A” customers (those companies and IT teams who see innovative information technology as the means to competitive advantage) are adopting, but “Type B” as well.
Miriam – How many years has it been for the Open Source B.I. segment in the market place – from when it started out in the marketplace to get to that point up the curve? Four years?
Brian – The earliest point would be late 2001 when the first mainstream open source BI project appeared, called JasperReports. Early users were developers that used this open source reporting engine and library. Then, I’d estimate that mainstream use of open source BI began in 2005, when Jaspersoft introduced the first full-fledged BI Server (JasperServer) and other vendors appeared as well.
Miriam – That’s part of cycle maturity, when multiple vendors are in the market. What about other segments above the infrastructure? What are the characteristics that you think would make it possible for another segment to become like Open Source BI?
Brian – Not all software sectors necessarily represent a good market for the open source model. There are characteristics that make certain sectors better for open source.
Miriam – What are they?
Brian – Firstly, the software sector has to be at a maturity level where you don’t have to explain what the software is, what it does, and why it is beneficial. Open source companies don’t have the time or money to educate. You won’t see successful open source companies in new software categories where you have to prove that the software is necessary.
Secondly, it has to be a big enough market where the volume needs of a commercial open source company can be met.
Thirdly, incumbent players should be leaving a portion of the market under-served or over-charged. If these three market characteristics are in place – it can be very fertile for an open source company to come in.
Miriam – What about the customer side? What are the attributes that you have to look at from the customer side in order to benefit from open source.
Brian – The early adopter market was a technical group. Technical audiences – the developers of the world, have historically consumed successful open source projects. In 2010, business users will more and more advocate using open source. It’s kind of like the early days of SaaS where end users said “I am not going to pay the internal IT prices for access to Siebel or Peoplesoft. I am going to use Salesforce because it is a better product and I can use it today not in 6 months.” The business benefits of open source are being widely recognized by business users who will pressure IT to use open source to benefit their business.
Miriam – The open source mantra has always been that the buyer and downloader of the product is technical. As it crosses over to the business side, is there a certain business function that is going to be more predisposed to come to the community, sign up, download, etc.
Brian – I don’t think so. I think that we are now technically savvy enough in every department to be able to do this. So, I think you’ll see pockets of business user adoption and endorsement across all functions in an organization.
Miriam – Even in sales? LOL?
Brian – Yes. There are big pockets everywhere and those pockets grow as the demographics in the workforce change. The most significant demographic shift of all time, at least in the western or developed economies, is underway. It is going to continue to have a dramatic effect on the technical skills of the individual knowledge worker.
Miriam – Jaspersoft is your first Open Source company as a CEO. What were some of the areas that you found critical? Lets start on the sales and marketing side. What are the unique challenges of the open source model from a sales and marketing perspective?
Brian – The biggest challenge is to recognize the value of the open source model and the community that forms over time – it requires patience. You must have an investment and operating model that allows you to get out there with a product in volume that is essentially free and solves some real business problem.
Sales and marketers want to sell something to everybody. Many are just not going to buy your product but they are going to use your product – this is discomforting to sales people. They have to be patient– because if they aren’t, you won’t have a successful open source model.
Secondly, you have to find clever ways to have that community collaborate with you on the product. Product development can’t be fully in charge of the features of the product and where it is going.Your development model must embrace that and take back contributions that originated with the community. That’s uncomfortable for everyone if you have never done it before but getting good at it is a distinction between successful and mediocre open source companies.
Miriam – Your second point is particularly interesting. Many organizations hit two walls – the first how to scale. Once people do want the commercial edition, it can become a people intensive business. How do you scale from 1 to 100 to 1,000? You also have to change the support and services model. Any insight around those challenges?
Brian – The bigger the community, the greater the need for scalable services. One must spend meaningful time trying to put in place mechanisms for community self support and knowledge-based services. So it has to be organic and scalable. There are absolutely acceptable distinctions between classes of services for a community user and commercial customers. Done correctly, it actually becomes a benefit to the P&L. Done incorrectly, it could sink a company.
Miriam – Lastly, how is product management different – you have a background in marketing and product management – you’ve done it both in a traditional company and an open source company. What are the critical success factors?
Brian – In a proprietary software company, the product management function is essentially a guardian of the secrets of where the product is going. The watchwords for open source companies are transparency, participation and collaboration. The product function owns transparency and collaboration. The beginning points for community development is where the website becomes an ideagora – a gathering place for swapping ideas. The product management function has to provide dialogue and the community has to be invited to engage. Using the ideagora, there is voting and dialogue about the direction of the product. The combination of these principles can create unparalleled value – again, if done correctly.
Miriam – So when we look forward to 2010, what do you see as the opportunities and challenges for Jaspersoft and for open source software market in general.
Brian – For 2010, we have five strategic company objectives. They are aligned with where we think the market is going. One of our five objectives is to diversify our revenue stream – ensuring a growing commercial contribution from Latin America, Asia Pacific, and Europe.
Miriam – So do you think 2010 will be easier in terms of the market and the economy – from a software sales perspective.
Brian - I think we will see continued recovery – and as we move through the year, we will pick up momentum. It won’t be a banner year – it will be a solid year but an important one to lead into even bigger growth in 2011.
Defending his action, Mr. Kareem, a father of two, said he has a good reason to steal from women. “I am on a vengeance mission to hurt women because a woman stole my $160,000.”
The police recovered 28 ATM cards, 12 identity cards, seven handsets, three Senior Secondary School(SSSCE) certificates and several handbags and purses, all belonging to different women who were victims of Mr. Kareem’s ploy.
Mr. Kareem said his vengeance against women began on November 17, 2009 when a brief lust affair with a woman at the Kuramo beach left him almost dead.
“On November 17th, I had gone to Eko Hotel to collect $160,000 from an acquaintance. After collecting the money, I went to the Ocean View Restaurant to eat and I parked my car there; that was around 8pm. From the restaurant, I went to the Kuramo beach. As I was walking on the beach, a woman came to me that she can ‘satisfy’ me if I will give her N2,500. I agreed and we had fun on the beach. I sucked her breast in the process of our lovemaking and it seems she put something on her breast because I fell into a deep sleep afterwards and when I woke up, it was 11am the next day. It was even the people on the beach that woke me up.
“By the time I realised myself, I noticed that my car key and other cash in my pocket were missing. I rushed to where I parked my car and that was how I discovered that my car had been opened and my $160,000 was stolen. I searched frantically for the girl, but I did not see her again. I was detained and my wife left me because of that money that was stolen. It is in a bid to get my revenge that is why I am stealing from women. I have lost count of my female victims and I made more than N100,000.”
Method of operation
Police spokesperson, Frank Mba, said the suspect used free ride to lure his female victims.
“On January 7, the officers at Alapere police station received a report that a man, who lives in Ogun State, comes to Lagos to steal from women.
The suspect, identified as Olalekan Kareem, operates with his brown Toyota E-saloon car with registration number CD 117 FST which he used to offer free ride to women. After giving them the ride, he will pretend as if the car had developed a fault and he will request that the women alight from the car to help push it. By the time the women alight to start to push the car, the suspect would then zoom off with their handbags and other valuables. He was, however, arrested when a lady whom he had stolen from identified him and informed the police.”
Some of Mr. Kareem’s victims include Khadijat Adegoronye, Jenifer Ugochukwu and Cythia Kodu. They all had the same tale.
“Sometimes last week, around 6pm I was waiting at a bus stop at the Muson Centre at Onikan to get a cab to my house at the mainland. Mr. Kareem stopped and asked me where I was going, and I told him. He said he will give me a ride to where I can easily get a cab to my destination. But on our way, his car started jerking and then it stopped. He said I should call somebody to help push the car. Immediately I got down, he drove off with my bag containing N15,000 and other valuables,” narrated Miss Kodu.
Game over
Miss Ugochukwu said she alerted the police after her stolen hand bag was found in a gutter at Alapere.
“Last week Saturday around 8pm, I and one other lady were stranded at Toll gate. Mr. Kareem parked in front of us and offered to give us a ride to Iyana-Oworo. About 10 minutes to the ride, his car started jerking. He told us that the car had developed a fault and we should come down to help him push it but when we got down, he zoomed off with our bags.
“I had N150,000 in my bag and other valuables like my two handsets. The next day, I got a phone call that my bag was found in a gutter at Alapere. As I got there to pick my bag, I saw Mr. Kareem driving pass. I told the guy who had called me that Mr. Kareem had just passed us. We decided to trail him with okada (motorcycle). He stopped at the car wash at Alapere and that was how we alerted the police and he was arrested.”
Urging residents of the city to be vigilant on the road, Mr. Mba said, “Lagosians should beware of people who give free ride as this has been discovered to be a new trick in town to steal from unsuspecting persons. They should board only marked cabs and report any suspects to the police. The suspect will be charged to court for stealing as soon as we are through with our investigations.”
Lolita is from Nigeria and at only 26 years of age her testimony seems almost unbelievable. Her story perfectly illustrates some of the hardships thousands of African women go through. Prostitution has reduced her to a drug addict and an alcoholic with aids pulling her into the doomed path of the grim reaper.
Prostitution among African women is snowballing in Europe. Amely-James Bela, a business school graduate, has a long history of humanitarian and community work. She has been fighting to stop the traffic of women and children for prostitution. Her book La prostitution africaine en Occident sounds an alarm on this phenomenon. Afrik.com has also decided to follow her example by bringing this trend to light.
“If only I knew what was in store for me here, in this crazy place, this place that so many people admire, this place they all want to come to (…) a place where we, Africans, are considered as good for nothing, slaves who are made to eat human excrement and drink their urine. Some find it normal that sick people, perverts, rich people… use their money and influence to gravely abuse other humans.
They say that we are adults and therefore consenting, but this is not true because no one asked for my consent before throwing me into this hell hole. I was forced and threatened… and if we are adults, what about the kids who find themselves in this milieu? Those people pay a lot to abuse the youngest ones. Poor people do not pay such ludicrous amounts of money for such things, simply because all their money will still not be enough to buy these…
"I am not afraid anymore"
I am disgusted and no more afraid, and by the way, who cares? My days are numbered anyway. My aids is in its final stages. They have more respect for dogs than for us. I know that not all the girls go through what I have been through. But I know what goes on in this milieu and why the girls deny all those horrendous things so as not to fall victim to their anger. Their riches give them the right over our lives… If their drugs, their aids and alcohol had not brought me to my death bed, their filth and the filth of their dogs that I was made to swallow as well as their violence would have done it anyway.
I have prayed to God to forgive me and take me back. No human being can live with what I have in my head. I only have to close my eyes for a few seconds for all the horrors to come rushing back. Everyday and every night I go through the same torture. I need someone to help me end it all, I have no energy in me to even try it. My God! I want just a moment of silence to rest. I just want it over and done with and just go, go, go…
Recruited via the Internet
My troubles began in Lagos. I came across an internet announcement, which said that a businessman was looking for women who wanted to get married for his dating agency. There were photos and stories of happy and successful marriages. Apart from the internet announcement, I also answered to announcements posted in these magazines that we find everywhere now. It all went very fast. The man contacted me and we started communicating via the Internet. He promised me things that no woman would refuse. A dream. In a matter of three months, I had every single paper needed to leave for London. He also gave me the names of persons I had to meet and everything went well. I also had to go to Benin City (a city in Nigeria, ndlr) to collect a small parcel for him. I was a bit taken aback when I realized that the little parcel he was talking about were three young boys between the ages of eight and twelve. Their passports and visas were ready. Everything was ok. I went to see a guy called “wizard” for instructions.
Our trip took us through Ghana where someone provided us with Liberian passports with which we traveled to London. This was to help us obtain refugee status with ease. We left after spending three days in a shantytown in Accra where we were hidden to “avoid being spotted by jealous people who were not as lucky as us!” hmmm… The youngest boy was gripped by fear. He cried a lot, his whole body shook and could not utter a word. His only refuge were my arms and the only moment he left my arms was to allow me to go to the bathroom...
Defenseless children
At the airport, my fiancé and the person who was to collect the children were waiting. The separation was very painful. A lot of force was needed to tear the little boy from me. I never heard of those children again. I followed this man whom I knew nothing about apart from the fact that he called himself “Bryan”. We barely got to his house when the nightmare began. First of all, he wanted us to do it right away. But I told him that I needed a some time as it is not too easy to open up to someone I did not know, just like that. But his violent grip made me give in immediately. My first hours on the English soil were marked with rape and violence on somebody’s living room floor. He took a rest, drank whiskey and came back to do those horrible and painful things that I didn’t even know existed, again and again. I thought I was going to die.
I was forced to do what he wanted, I knew only him and he had kept all my papers. After sexually abusing me, he asked me to watch films in which girls were having sex with animals. He said to study what the girls were doing because I was going to do the same soon. He said that my arrival had cost him a lot of money and I was going to have to pay him back. He also said that because he is a very nice man, he would find good business and film contracts and split the money between the two of us. He gave me a little something to give me courage, but not to worry because there was a lot of money to be made. Lots of money. That little something to give me courage was, in fact, drugs. This is how, three weeks after my arrival in England, I became a bestial porn star addicted to drugs and traveling through eruopean capitals; Amsterdam, Berlin, Paris and London, my residence.
Women and animals
Once or twice a week, I was sent to film sets or individual homes to tape these nasty pornographic videos. Sometimes the master and his dogs would join in. It gave me nausea. His wife would look on, amused, while mixing herself cocktails. I took drugs and drunk before doing those scenes, because without getting high on drugs, I just couldn’t do it. These animals in me, their slaver, their hairs, their bad breathe, the scratches from their claws, while obeying their masters who would order them to go slow or use violence with me under them, forced to obey. I cried, I screamed, I prayed for the good lord to take me away. What was I doing? My poor mother would die if she knew. To prevent her from asking too many questions, I sent her money along with carefully staged photographs Bryan and I made.
The worst moment came was when I was made to perform oral sex on these animals. Sex with the animals were unprotected and the man told me that I was not at risk since God had made sure that animals could not impregnate humans. For years I did only that. Litres of animal sperm in my stomach. My body is so filthy that not a single child could possibly be conceived in it. One day, to spice up the scenes, the producer’s wife went and fetched puppies to suck my breasts. It was very painful because they sucked violently as there was no milk. The professionals sell these films across the world while others watch them during parties.
My family lives well and I live with aids
I have to confess that I made a lot of money. I had a house built back home and my family lives well. I pay the school fees for the young ones and I am respected and adored. My family is very proud of me because they know nothing about what I do. Out of greed, I worked more to get more money, which also meant more drugs and alcohol. Sometimes Bryan rented me out to a friend of his in the south of France, because in summer, the arrival of a number of yachts and celebrities at the côte d’azur means a big market for prostitutes and drug dealers. There are all night long orgies and they pay a lot. It is a change from the usual work and brings in a lot of money.
I think that is where I was infected with aids… and because I did not have regular medical check ups the disease was discovered too late. I was abandoned on the beaches of Saint Tropez. Bryan disappeared and changed his address. A prostitute from Poland came to my aid but since she was not able to cater for my drug needs as well as all she was doing for me, she introduced me to an African girl who was also involved in the same line of work, who introduced me to an association that takes care of African women with aids…
My disease is in its terminal stage. I won’t live past thirty. My body is covered with leeches, I am a drug addict, anorexic, alcoholic… I still work as a prostitute, but I am careful not to put my clients, who know nothing about my situation, at risk. I do it to help me buy drugs and alcohol. I take those things to speed things up, you know, my death. The images torture me and it is like a poison killing me in small doses. It is the worst kind of death. I regret so much for coming to Europe. Back home, I would be healthy, married and by now a mother…”
