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Good girls love bad boys?

‘Why do good girls love bad guys?’ was one interesting article once posted on the  web. This is one big question I found myself running from for a long time as it does not only scare me, it also reveals an amount of evil that resides in me and puts to shame my ‘goodness’. This is one question I have been unable to answer since. I have, at some point, fallen victim to this malfunction and so I am eager to discuss it with other girls. Why do a lot of good girls fall in love with the guy with the guarded eyes, mysterious ways, callous attitude, ‘devil may care behaviour’; what exactly is the attraction?

Why is it so difficult for the ‘good girls’ to just fall in love with the ‘good guys’? Oh, how ethereal will that be! Enough of all these Mills and Boons lifestyles/stories we have been brought up to believe, bad guys cannot make good husbands SIMPLE!

Facing facts

You have got to face it. A guy who does not give a hoot about the terrible menstrual cramps you endure month after month, will not be moved by the labour pains that grip you at childbirth! If a guy does not have the decency to call you every day in a relationship, you will not expect him to be accountable to you by the time you have gained 20 pounds in marriage! A guy who severally refuses to introduce you to his family as a girlfriend but delights in making out with you at the backseat of his car at night does not deserve you! Not forgetting the fact that he will not take you out on romantic dates after your ‘perfect size 8’ has forgotten its number.

My thoughts

In my little time on earth. I have surely seen the good, the bad and the ugly side of men. My advice to all the good girls including myself is that we henceforth boycott the ‘bad boys zones’ because they surely stand up to no good! They are wicked, selfish, childish (forget the muscles), and they do not deserve our love. I have this song on my phone by Frank Edwards — ‘You are beautiful’. This song stresses the fact that we are too beautiful, too intricately created to be mishandled, that means we need the love of the good guys in our lives.

Here is this problem, I have sampled the opinion of a lot of girls, and what I have heard is so discouraging. A lot of them believe that the good guys are boring, wimpy and not manly enough. Can someone please tell me the relationship between being good and being boring, have they become synonymous? Because the last time I checked, they were not the same, so why do we foolishly create this synergy between goodness and boredom.

As for me, I have strongly decided to give the next good guy in my life a big chance because I need him, as the flower needs the sun to bloom, so I do seriously need him. Enough of this evil magnet which keeps attracting me to that guy with guarded eyes and nonchalant ways. With this decision comes another challenge, how do I get this good guy? Because they are so scarce nowadays, the streets are filled with ‘bad guys’. They populate churches, they are the smooth talking brothers on the pulpits, and they are the tongues-speaking guys in church who will not stop ogling at the slits of your skirts. They are the Bible-carrying dudes who keep leading you on till eternity comes!

The Biblical stand

I recently stumbled on a chapter in the Bible which talks about being a wise girl and not walking as the unwise. In this chapter, I suddenly discovered that it’s simply not enough being a good girl, take a step further by including God in all things. I mean all things like your racing heartbeat whenever the so-called guy is around, those needy moments when you desperately want a man’s arms around you, those times you feel so sexually charged and don’t know what to do about it. Be a wise girl and talk to God about all these issues. He understands, He knows your struggles, He loves you so much that He is so interested in giving you that godly, good, romantic man who appreciates you and is willing to walk this life with you. Do not be in a haste to be loved by someone, remember God loves you, and I personally think that tops even a man’s love. Get to know yourself, love yourself, love God! Today, be a wise girl and delete the bad guy’s digits on your phone and embrace the good guy!

By Tolulope Odeyemi 234next.com

Five months ago, a friend of mine, who edits a national daily, sent me a text message agreeing substantially with my column, ‘The Punch and the rest of us’, except the generalised conclusion that “all (journalists) have sinned and fallen short of the glory of the profession”. There are still some journalists, he submits, who toe the narrow path of integrity. Of course I knew where he was coming from, but I also knew the context in which I had made that statement.

I revisit that statement in light of the stories spewing out of the political beat, specifically on the race for the 2011 presidential elections and how it affects the integrity of news.

As part of the effort to sell his candidature for the presidency, former military president, Ibrahim Badamasi Babangida (IBB) invited as many as 40 journalists to his Minna home on August 14 for an interview. I have heard questions asked about why he should invite journalists to his home instead of a public place if he didn’t have an ulterior motive, and why he should offer monetary gifts to the journalists in the name of paying for their transportation.

One news medium, which has championed this opposition in the open, is the online agency, Sahara Reporters. According to SR each of the journalists received N10 million for heeding Babangida’s call on his presidential ambition. That is N400 million just for one night’s interview from an aspirant yet to win his party’s nomination if it were true. But it was not. When some of the journalists complained about the fictional sum, SR changed the story on August 19, saying it was just “a paltry N250, 000 each”. Rather than admit its initial error SR simply said, “our accountants have told us that going by the number of 40 journalists in attendance, we are still around the same ballpark of N10 million”. So much for credible reporting!

Three days later, SR followed up with ‘IBB and his Rogue Journalists’, accusing the journalists of roguery and professional misconduct; roguery, because they collected money from two sources—their employers who presumably authorised and funded the trip and their news source, IBB; misconduct because it is unethical for them to demand/receive gratification from news sources for their services.

And on August 23 in ‘IBB Nocturnal Press Parley: Punch fires Editorial board Chairman’, SR stayed on top of the story by reporting that Adebolu Arowolo, editorial board chairman of the Punch, had lost his job for going on that trip without his management’s approval..

OMAHA, Neb. (AP)—Kareem Abdul-Jabbar says the NBA should raise its minimum agefor entry into the league to 21.

The NBA’s career scoring leader and center on the Los Angeles Lakers’ 1980s“Showtime” teams said Wednesday there’s a disturbing sense ofentitlementamong many of today’s young pros.

“They get precocious kids from high school who think they’re rock stars—‘Where’s my $30 million?’ ” said Abdul-Jabbar, who was in Omaha to speakat theB’nai B’rith sports banquet.. “The attitudes have changed, and the gamehassuffered because of that, and it has certainly hurt the college game.”

The 63-year-old Abdul-Jabbar and Magic Johnson led the Lakers to five NBAtitles in the 1980s. Before Abdul-Jabbar retired in 1989, he set the NBArecordfor career points (38,387), MVP selections (six) and All-Star selections(19).

He now is a special assistant to the Lakers and a best-selling author.

Abdul-Jabbar met students Wednesday at Boys Town, the nationally acclaimedhome for troubled youth. He told them about his time at UCLA, where heplayed onthree national championship teams for John Wooden and graduated in fouryearswith degrees in English and history.

“Coach John Wooden encouraged me to be more than just a jock,” Abdul-Jabbar said. “He said if I let my intellectual life suffer becauseI wasso into being an athlete that I would be less than I could be. I wouldtell allstudents to pursue your dreams but don’t let your education suffer.”

The NBA in 2005 changed its entry age to 19. Players who previously mighthave jumped from high school to the NBA now end up playing one year ofcollegeball before declaring for the draft.

Those players are still too young, Abdul-Jabbar said, and many deprivethemselves of the emotional and physical maturity necessary to meet on-andoff-the-court challenges.

“When I played, the players had to go to college and earn their way ontothe court, meaning that there were upperclassmen ahead of them,” hesaid.“Players who had to go through that and had to go to class, when theygot to beprofessional athletes, they were a lot better qualified.”

Abdul-Jabbar said if college weren’t the right place for a player, theplayer should, as an alternative, be required to play in a minor leagueordevelopmental league.

Kevin Garnett, KobeBryant and LeBronJames became stars right out of highschool. The day after James all but disappeared in Cleveland’s playoffloss toBoston, Abdul-Jabbar said even “King James” would have benefited fromcollege.

“He would have come into the professional ranks very polished, given hisinnate gifts,” Abdul-Jabbar said. “Having to go through a college systemwouldhave made him a total gem as soon as he stepped out of the collegeranks.”

Abdul-Jabbar commented on other topics:

— He said his role as co-pilot “Roger Murdock” in the 1980 comedy movie“Airplane” changed his life.

“I think everybody in the airline industry is required to watch it,” hesaid. “When I get on planes, every so often the stewardess or the pilotwillcome out and ask me, ‘Do you want to fly the plane?’ “

During a flight in Europe, a pilot escorted him from his seat to the cockpitfor takeoff.

“I get a good laugh from it,” he said. “It’s been over 25 years since Imade that movie and people still watch it all the time. I guess it’s aclassic.”

— He said he has known about Boys Town and its founder, the Rev. EdwardFlanagan, since he attended Catholic school in an Irish neighborhood inNew YorkCity. “The Irish were very proud of him and what he had achieved. It’sreallyneat for me to come out here and see it in reality and seeing they’redoing suchfine work. That is so necessary. People have to care about our youth.They areour most precious resources. If we don’t care, what’s going to happen.”

— He said his greatest athletic achievement was playing on the Lakers teamthat beat Boston for the NBA title in 1985.

“But seeing my kids graduate from college and knowing they have a firmbasis in life, that is a lot more important to me, personally,” he said.

— He said 6-11 center Nate Thurmond, who played for Golden State, Chicagoand Cleveland, was his toughest matchup.

“A lot of guys beat on me and said they played good defense. Nate actuallyused skill and knowledge of the game to play against me and make myeveningsmore difficult when I had to play him,” Abdul-Jabbar said. “He waseverythinga professional center should be.”

— He said the “Showtime” Lakers would fare well in the current NBA.

“We had guys on the bench who were Hall-of-Famers,” he said. “That doesn’t happen now because there is such a dispersal of talent. We woulddo verywell in this present climate.”

1. First I ask, "Can failure be an important learning experience?" Everyone usually answers, "yes."

2. Then I ask, "Don't we often learn more from failure than we do from success?" People again answer, "Usually, yes."

3. I go on to ask, "Aren't we as leaders and followers ought to be learning and growing at all times throughout our life?" Once more, the answer that comes back is "Yes!"

4. Then I conclude by asking, "Then shouldn't we be failing as often as possible?"

At that point, the room usually falls silent.